jews on the left, nazis on the rigt
Give or take Greenspan...
Finally, a topic I can get behind.
Jews for the win, I'm afraid. Only because people always ask me if I'm Jewish (I'm not. I think.)
Dunno, I'm a Jew (I think), and can't help thinking the moustached one was on to something...
My mother is Jewish, and I hate myself loads ...
i'd like to have some jewish blood so that i'd be considered smart, clever, wise, good at running business and controling ........hollywood...........n privilege to get it even with the nazis
Morally right, who was morally right?
Even if they are Jewish?
Hitler made the trains run on time.
God damn it, Carlos.
Hahahahaha ... somehow I think my mother has got some Jews DNA in "saving money" ...
So a rabbi and a Catholic priest are walking by a park, when the Catholic priest says to the rabbi, "Hey, let's go screw those little kids on the playground!" The rabbi says, "Out of what?"
How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Jews don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw the Palestinians.
A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren, and last night I had an affair and I made love to two 18-year-old girls. Both of them. Twice." And the priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were at confession?"
"Never, Father -- I'm Jewish."
"So why are you telling me?"
"I'm tellin' everybody!"
Saul stops at deli in Miami that he's never been in before.
Emil, the owner seats him and sends over the waiter. Saul is dumbfounded when the obviously Chinese waiter greets him in perfect Yiddish, takes his order, brings it promptly, and even thanks him for stopping there.
On the way out, Saul pays the bill and asks Emil "Where did you ever find an experienced Chinese waiter that speaks Yiddish?"
"Keep your voice down, please. He thinks we're teaching him English..."
Mortie from Brooklyn is taking a vacation to Japan. He is walking the streets of Tokyo, and all of a sudden he hears the sounds of singing, and it is the evening services! He looks around, and there on a little side street is a Schul!
Mortie decides to attend the services and goes in. As he goes through the door, he is approached by a Japanese guy who says, "Can I help you?"
"Well yes," says Mortie, "I heard the singing and thought I would attend."
"Well OK," says the Japanese guy, "But it's funny. You don't look Jewish."
A Priest, a Minister, and a Rebbe go up in the space shuttle for three days. Back on earth they are asked by reporters how the trip went.
"How was it, Father?" the Priest is asked.
"Fantastic!" replies the Priest. "I now have a deeper understanding of the majesty of the universe and the power of the Creator."
"How was it for you, Reverend?" the Minister is asked.
"Awe inspiring!" answers the Minister. "Just to think the Lord could create such a thing affirms my faith."
Now they turn to the Rebbe and the Rebbe is a mess. His eyes are red, his beard is all over, his clothes look like they have been slept in forever.
"How was your trip, Rebbe?" he is asked.
"Horrible!" he answers. "Never has such a trip in my life. Every couple of hours, it was dawn, it was dusk, it was dawn, it was dusk........."
Two guys are telling jokes, One starts to say, "There were these two Jews waiting at...........". The other interrupts him, "Wait a minute", he says,"Why do they have to be Jewish?"
"Never mind all that, can't you tell the joke using some other group?", asks the opther.
"No", replies the first "Because.......".
"Well, try!", says the second.
"O.K., There were two Englishmen waiting for a streetcar, One turns to the other and says,
'I say there old bean, A VU KUPF MENDAUKH EIN TROLLEYCAR?'"...........
(when is the next trolleycar?)
An Irishman is struck down by a car on a miserable rainy night. The driver hops out of the car and into the rain to aid the irishman. The driver, knowing the man could die at any moment says, "Is there anything I can do or anyone I can call???" The irishman says, "Oh yes, would ye be nice enough to call me a rabbi?". Thinking the irishman was being affected by the accidnet and the weather the driver asks, "Are ya sure it's a Rabbi you want?" Absolutely is the reply. So the Rabbi shows up and asks the Irishman, "So my son, are you Jewish?" The Irishman shakes his head no. "So why", asks the Rabbi, "did you call on a Rabbi??" To which the Irishman replied, "Oh Rabbi, you don't think I'd be makin the good Father come out on a night like this, do ya?"
A Jewish grandmother is taking her grandson for a walk on the beach, when suddenly a freak wave comes out of nowhere and washes the boy away. The old woman looks to the sky and says "Please God- it's too much. That boy is all I have left in the world. Don't take him from me!" Just then another freak wave comes up and deposits the boy safe and sound by her side. She sweeps him up with tears on her face and shouts "Thank you, thank you, I..." and stops, takes a closer look at her grandson, and says "He had a hat!"
It's David's bar mitzvah, and the whole family is gathered together. Everyone is happy, except old uncle Issaac.
"Issac, what's the matter?"
"Nobody cares about the Jews!"
"Issac, what's brought this on? You've got your whole family here. At least cheer up for the boy!"
"Nobody cares...you know, during the war, the Germans murdered 6 million Jews, 4 million poles, 2 million communists and 28 postmen."
"You see, nobody cares about the Jews!"
piss off astaroth~~~~~~~~~~~how dare u add me as friend again? shame on u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u deleted me, cluelesssly!!!!!!! claiming u r not drooling around girls but U do this all the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@ astaroth~~~~~~~~~shame on u again!!!! ur uncle sounds a hero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what r u? WHEN WILL U TELL KK UR REAL AGE, UNCLE ASTAROTH???????????
Nononono don't have this fight in PM, it'll be awesome forum drama!!
sorry to make u see this my friend, but that person deserves the drama~~~~~~~~ he made friend with me only wants to get access to my naive assistant, didnt respect me n my occupation
Hey, I'm grateful for the drama, I've got nothing but this project and this forum going right now, and it's a slow day in the forum. Let's get this throwdown on.
Your assistant?!?!? I'd imagine in your profession the first thing you would do is warn your assistant about guys she meets through work. There's a certain fairly prominent lesbian director I work for at times who does exactly that with her assistants, usually confused, college-age women, who intern with her because they're coming to terms with their own sexuality. It's pretty much...standard practice.
I would like to assist your assistant. Provide her with assistance. I'm coming in with the assist. What is this?
I think the old Fuhrer was on the right lines when he said that there was a master race; he just didn't realize the Jews had already been chosen.
They are the master race, at least that's what my bubba says...