Discussion » Nonsense » Marriage First, Love Comes After?

  • Shu Qi
    Shu Qi wrote:
    <p><span style="font-family: verdana,geneva; font-size: small;">I was having this conversation with my Chinese colleagues, girls specifically regarding which kind of guy Chinese women want to settle down with. I was astonished at their take on marriage. They told me that nowadays marriage is not the result of love. People get married for the sake of that they have to find another person to live with due to the pressure of getting old and that they cultivate the good feeling for each other over the course of marriage life. </span></p> <p><span style="font-family: verdana,geneva; font-size: small;">Do you agree marrige first, love comes after?</span></p>
  • Linn Nesse
    Linn Nesse wrote:

    that's just a common statement. im pretty sure it's a long way off before they really open heart to guys.

  • Saint - Spartacus

    it was true , you could  be a  loser in the general opinon of my generation  ^___^ .  and since you became a loser , nothing to lose more ... ...

    it's a sweet willing as a safe life motion , coz the world become more and more dangerous . so why not live for live , a choice to survive with their simple happyness ... ...

    it's not a question about the generation

    it's a question about the ageing, when you hit in the old line . your life is sth not only yours 


  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)


    Hahahahaha ... Saintro . L wrote "since you became a loser , nothing to lose more" ... how cute thy heart :)

    My general suggestion, to young women anyway, is if you find a guy that's "reasonable" (THIS is subject to individual, which is why I put it in quote), then spend more time to learn about this person, as it is easy to admire his good qualities, but it is often difficult to accept (or adapt to) his bad ones ... it does not sound romantic, but this is how long-term relationship needs, as well as marriage ... this is what some might call "love conquers all", but it is far more than that ...

    Now, back to the subject ... this female colleague actually represents not the old generation, but the new ... most mid-to-late twenties and early-thirties that I know (heehee, not as many as most people think though) are now opting for career, with hope (but not a need) to find that special someone to spend the rest of their lives together ...

    It is perhaps a bit difficult to imagine two people getting married without a trace of love, and hope to build it afterwards, but, it is not entirely impossible ... back in the good old days of China, a couple might not meet until the night of marriage, and of course there was no love before that, so they had to discover about each other, learn about each other ...

    ... in today's term, seriously, it is not much different ... especially if this female colleague is meeting guys via match-makers (or parents or friends etc), eventually finding her "reasonable" one, then they might date a little but get married shortly, with little or no love, and then build upon it afterwards ...

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    I'd sooner marry a friend than a lover.

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