Discussion » Ask a Foreigner » 10 types of laowai in China

  • The War
    The War wrote:
    <p>Recently I noticed a lot of topics based on materials from other websites. Today I found an interesting one. Probably it was created by chinese. The original name is "The 10 Types of Laowai in China". So, lets start.</p> <p>A) <strong>"Teacher"</strong><br /> Loser with poor posture, or other marks that signify his inability to get a job in his native country. Obviously looking to sleep with naive Chinese girls. Porn addiction evident. "Teacher" is a byword for "unaccomplished freak with no future." Thinks hoodies are reasonable attire. Wears sandals in the summer time. Is most usually under 5'8" and also has the skinny-fat look, meaning an undeveloped physique and a protruding belly. Enjoys wearing khaki shorts, sandals and old t-shirts or cheap polos during warm weather. Likes holding Chinese girls' hands because they are his first girlfriends.</p> <p>B) <strong>White guilt girl</strong><br /> Most often blonde, usually a little bit fat, usually unattractive. Permanent scowl on her face from 20 years of feminist ideology burned into her brain. Looks five years older than she is from constant drinking and fornication with dark-skinned clubbers. Hates white men, and wants to escape her "small town", quiet, oppressive upbringing by "exploring another culture," i.e., a non-white culture. Views Chinese people and non-whites as entertainment rather than people. Thinks it's clever to post Chinese phrases on her facebook wall. Uses the word "like" a lot. Is smug because she speaks a little Chinese and is "different" from her usually white, racist, Western counterparts. Is in fact White and racist without knowing it. Likes having Chinese girlfriends who she can share her extremist-feminist views with.</p> <p>C) <strong>White guilt guy</strong><br /> The male counterpart to white guilt girl. Interchangeable with "finding himself guy". Sometimes has good job though. Reads a lot about the history of western racism. Doesn't understand the irony of historical white men coming to foreign cultures and viewing them as a spectacle, and then claiming himself not racist while doing the same thing. Thinks living in a crap apartment or hutong makes him "special." Most often rides a bicycle and wears wool penis caps. Probably has a beard, glasses, or a small amount of facial hair. Loves backpacks and sandals. Total douchebag.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p>
  • Rebecca Arnesen

    Let us quest together and find the absolute truth source. Thereafter, thinking may cease once and for all.

  • Aurélien
    Aurélien wrote:




  • pommie
    pommie wrote:

    I'm just here following the flock!


  • Ejdnzlaj
    Ejdnzlaj wrote:

    Could have been funnier, but a fair attempt. Had its moments.

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    Take this back to The Beijinger forums and tell them to keep it.

  • Mading
    Mading wrote:

    This is quite true though...question IS! WHICH ONE R U OF THEM?  where r the people that usually posts here quite often? names u seem to see very often?

    But how can the Chinese people who have studied abroad be counted as a laowai?? Cuz they r NOT!

    (This forum should not be called forum ,IMO, should be called "place for bored drifting nerd with no social life a place to take out their anger and bully other) hmm maybe I should start that as my, let's see...2nd or 3rd thread..

  • Mading
    Mading wrote:

    @John If u want u may answer the question..hehe what could be so shocking about your life? maybe it's same as other people here? so to me it's not that shocking..the shocking part would be if u r actually a NORMAL person..but then define normal haha ;D

  • High Priest
    High Priest wrote:

    I just think this guy who wrote these is a guy who is sick of self -esteem. He or she thinks that Chinese who have gone abroad are useless, he think teachers are assholes,

    Is he or she worthwhile than these people he or she stated here? I strongly doubt. Let each and everyone live his or her live the way he or she wishes.


  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    I am inclined to agree with Priest and Dando on this one.

    however one thing I should say is that this forum is really down on its quota for people who post with any substance.

    after a year being here, reading this trash, I find 85% of it to be a bunch of garbage.

    it's not fun. because this guy obviously has not been here very long and already has figured out the entire spectrum of visitors.

    Oh shit. I was figured out. Time to go to another country.....


    laowai x: the one who came here to make a difference in some way.


    laowai y: the guy who came to China because he just despises his own country

    laowai z: the guy who came here by mistake.

    laowai 11. the investor

    laowai12: bored and wanted to try something new

    laowai 13: the evil doer and has the mark of 666 on his forehead and will spread chaos in his path



  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    "teacher" should be changed to trainer. I do not know many people who are qualified to teach in an American University.

  • High Priest
    High Priest wrote:

    Thanks Tuco

    It's ridiculus that people can agree with most of statements made from that publisher. I really think he is the kind of guys who still drunk with that communist ideas from the late Hero Mao that CHina is the most great place in the world and people don't need to go abroad as CHina is an Eldorado. He is the guy that despises his fellow country men and ladies who have broden their mind buy integrating their cultures. He is a kind of guys who shows up in some important events in jeans and T-Shirt with sport shoes, while watching his fellow CHinese and Laowai who got the know-How wearing suits, ties and cuff links they are proud...

    THis is the guy who thinks he got a better job while getting may be less than 5000rmb as wage with too much stress while an English teacher make twice or thrice more than that. Make no mistake people, in Beijing alone, the highest salary in Beijing for an office working (Laowai) hardly exceed 12k. But I've got my church member who make 30k in teaching and they bring tiths in my church:) French people say: Il n' y pas de sot metier, il n y a que de sautes gens__There's no fool jobs, but only fool people. Money doesn't have color.

    This guy is the kind of those guys who when put his handson his nose when a cute chinese civilized put on some nice perfume...

    He is the kind of guys who thinks a Chinese girl who shaves isn't a traditional:)

    WHat this guy needs is redemption, please come to our church.

    High Priest

  • Ejdnzlaj
    Ejdnzlaj wrote:

    Definitely not written by a Chinese person or if it is it's written by someone who is an ABC/BBC/CBC themself. The English is that of a native speaker.

  • Simen Wangberg

    "People, who despise own country, are nothing more than piece of crap. Goverment can be bad, but not country."

    Ehhhh. Depends what you mean by "country" I guess. I don't know who I hate more - American politicians, or the stupid voters who put them in charge. Things didn't get super-awful until after I came to China, but I'm glad I got out when I did.

  • High Priest
    High Priest wrote:

    This stuff doesn't show any sens of humour John, I can't see it. And he/she indexed even Chinese in the same class of Laowai...that's interesting.

    Lee, in China, some Chinese guys like the author, whith his ideas, is a true traditional. He doesn't show any liking of something from abroad, including Chinese who went to get their education abroad like Ami and Yuki, for him, these girls are not normal girls any longer. Because their way of thinking is different from the Local ones.

    He is member of CPP, so if some criticises how the gorvenment is being run, he or she is out of touch

  • High Priest
    High Priest wrote:

    Seem unfortunately our of margin in those category AM, as I'm a High Priest.

  • High Priest
    High Priest wrote:

    No worries, your sins are fogiven AM. Which catergory r u in there? Come next weekend please.

  • №❶ Passioη

    He was kind enough to skip the red-hair vodka drinkers and heavy deak dorks like me who are the main reason why he can't get a decent Chinese female. Sweet boy

    Enter the mind of the writer, he (presumably male) has quite a strong imagination, very observant and seems to understand the world a bit deeper than most "fun loving freaks" do. He does not hate anyone but...

    He's not happy with certain unfortunate facts: like the exhaltation of America / Americans / Western Culture / Westerners over chinese stuff which has consequently affected his chances of success within his own society.

    He hates the difficulty in making young fun freaks understand how dumb they sound and appear to be, I mean the "americamaniacs" who don't make up to 3 consecutive english language sentences without including "it's like , it's like" .

    He hates not being able to change young chinese girls' perception of the trendiness in throwing their Panties and Bra at Brad Pitt only because Angelina Jolie would have done so. (Wagon joiners)

    He believes the chinese society may have been a more moral oriented (especially if "morality" mutes the wrongs of reaping off foreigners in whatever transaction they attempt) if it wasn't tainted by the excessively influential american culture....

    The rules of hatred seem too complicated so it's better to make it simple:

    If you hate americans, Don't use condoms,

    If you hate Chinese, Dont eat rice,

    If you hate the French, Don't use the computer,

    If you hate the Russians, Don't fly,

    If you hate Africans, don't believe in the future

    And if you hate me, Never love again


    Have a great week!

  • Albulena Imeri

    That's halirious. But there are some guys who don't really care abt how other ppl think of them in the States.

    ABC Banker Douche

  • Simen Wangberg

    "But USA is still your homecountry. I dont think that you despise your motherland."

    I don't really know actually. I didn't choose to be born in the States, although I guess I should count myself lucky for having been born there, if only for the fact that it guaranteed me a halfway decent education and rights/privileges that people from a lot of other places don't receive.

    But it would've been cool to be born in Canada or Europe too, they're alright. I don't really like or dislike the States - it's just a place where I was born and grew up. I don't really have any attachment to it.

    If people insult the States, I hardly ever take offense. I don't identify or associate with something like 95% of the population there. I'm an American because it says so on my passport - that's about as far as it goes for me.

  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    i do so despise the USA government but not the people or what some things stand for.

  • High Priest
    High Priest wrote:

    @John,yes. 20k  and more than that. I wonder who can just leave his or her own country to come here and get paid 8k in Beijing,that a waste of time.

  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    priest you are forgetting all the fringe benefits that these guys are getting. i think they do not come here for money.

  • High Priest
    High Priest wrote:

    Tuco, thanks for reminding me, the fringe benefits are much more than the cash...

    @AM, please come to our own, the chorus are melodic and spiritual. Our own is in the center

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    Jimmy, you're not ABC :-p

    Why does this seem to presume that all foreigners are American? Also, it seems to be missing the two most common types of foreign student, as well as anybody with a job.

    I guess most every Chinese person who's been out of China really does think they're better than other Chinese people, but with damn good reason. Are Americans who've been out of the U.S. not better than those who haven't?

  • Simon Frederic

    I Stand for "I". or at least it is my inspiration

  • Albulena Imeri

    Ming, , you caught me. Actually it's just a comment I made. And I think it's an exaggeration of racial situation in the US.

    I guess most every Chinese person who's been out of China really does think they're better than other Chinese people

    Speaking from a Chinese guy "who's been out of China". I, myself absolutely don't think I am "better". And I believe every human being is equal in terms of personal rights. I also recognize that there's difference between two individuals in their experience and skill-sets (术业有专攻) and they may be "better" in certain areas.


    Are Americans who've been out of the U.S. not better than those who haven't?

    The same applies to Americans with different backgrounds as well. Seeing and understanding things from a different perspective can be helpful and valuable, I think.

  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    leaving the USA was the best thing I ever did. I should have left 20 years ago

  • Olaf G.
    Olaf G. wrote:

    "I guess most every Chinese person who's been out of China really does think they're better than other Chinese people"

    I guess the people who can afford to leave China are already on the sunny side of the life before they leave having a rich family background and so on...

  • patrick or 潘云迪

    To Tuco: i think there should be a 14 there and its like this. Guy or Girl who comes to China to study culture, Gong fu, language and literature to spread back to his own country but has to spend about 4-5 years in doing this. Intergrates into society pretty well but gets branded as the bad teacher type because you have to get something to get by. But as somone said there are no foolish jobs only foolish people.

    And to everyone: English Teachers or Trainers are as varied as the flakes of snow in winter as everyone precieves their job in a different sense of worth and self placement. If it is just a job as a means to an end or if it is a passion and you not only want to help others but to open their minds. as lao zi said "three people will walk forward and two will be my teacher".


  • Iain Bonner
    Iain Bonner wrote:

    hi michael !

  • Simen Wangberg

    Presenting the 11th Laowai: The Sucker-Free Laowai

    This dude or dudette spends most of his or her time in China pretty much just doing whatever, man. Whether it's cruising the hutongs for some good eats, ballin' hard at one of the Gongti megaclubs or just kickin' it at the 单位, the sucker-free laowai has absolutely no time for trick-ass ho's, wannabe thugs or scrubs.

    The sucker-free laowai will return to his or her country of origin...I dunno, whenever man. While he or she might not've been initially attracted to China for any specific reason, it certainly isn't a bad place to chill for now, you know what I mean dude?

    Also, letter J - "obnoxiously short"? How did I miss that before? What the fuck does that even mean? I'm short and perverted, but I don't really think I'm all that obnoxious - and if I am, it has nothing to do with my height and everything to do with the fact that AUGH BAUGH WAUGH

  • Chinaman Playboy

    100 types of gooks


    A gook who….


    1. uses racial epithet like laowai

    2. makes grotesque hacking noises and spits everywhere

    3. stares dumbfounded with jaw aslack

    4. shits and pisses in the street

    5. pushes, shoves, and cuts in line

    6. Smokes in elevators, malls, and subways

    7. keeps a mistress with full knowledge of his wife

    8. abuses animals

    9. eats fetuses, scorpions, cocks, and bird nests

    10. has a five inch pinky nail

    11. wears a coolie hat

    12. cheats on every test in high school and college

    13. gets a hand-job at the hair salon

    14. eats a bowl of rice with a piece of dirty vegetable on top

    15. dresses like a faggot

    16. skinnier than his girl friend

    17. Steals squirrel food from trees in parks

    18. begs for money and uses self-mutilation to become a better beggar

    19. thinks ping pong is manly sport

    20. blows snot rockets on girlfriend while singing “Hotel California”

    21. too lazy to throw away trash

    22. too lazy to take shower

    23. too lazy to take stairs


    A more to come later….  

  • Fredrik Emil Kiran


  • Stine Ekren
    Stine Ekren wrote:

    hmmm...maybe some stereotypes are true...

  • Erik Røger
    Erik Røger wrote:

    i dont think i come under any of those catergories..lame..

  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    stereotyping is so lame

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