Discussion » Chinese Language & Culture » Understanding Chinese females

  • Tuco
    Tuco wrote:

    Perhaps I am deeply mistaken about this.

    Girls, if you want to get married to a Chinese guy, would you do so if:


    a) Does not have a house

    b) Does not have a car


    I do not understand most things in the mind of my Chinese friends/hosts. And sometimes I think that what I have been told, or learned, probably is wrong.


    Just looking for some clarity.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)


    Hahahahahaha ... me =/= success ...

    I know a few girls (from outside this site) who had married guys who own less than car+house, and then I also know a few who had refused to marry or divorced even though the guy(s) might be loaded ...

    Marriage, perhaps only in China anyway, is about "security", if not in monetary terms ... there is an old Chinese saying, 贫贱夫妻百事哀, which means that poor married couple have to worry about everything ... speaking as a non-successful person, we had experienced "down times" over the years when we cannot afford much, and it had indeed brought some disturbance ...

    It is understandable that most girls want to marry for "happiness" (excluding those extreme S&M relationships), and many are even prepared to go through hardships with future spouse, but it is still based on the "fact" (hence possibility) that this guy has the capability and potential to do better in future (not necessarily "filthy rich"), so as superficial as it might sound, this is not too unreasonable ...

    ... comparably ... back when the country was still running (or attempting) a communist ideal, no one talked about such, because it was a different time then ...

  • Person
    Person wrote:


    If I am getting married, im not marrying a car or a house

    I am marrying a actual person ! 

    and no Im not emotionally crippled and  financially stable (not all girls are the same, so it is really narrow minded to category girls/guys, cuz each person is an individual)

  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    right on.

  • High Priest
    High Priest wrote:

    well, as Lee mentioned, parents would like to marry their daughter to a man with a house, which symbolyses__stability.. I think, this practice has been there for years since housing was affordable, at that time it wasn't a problem. But now it's hard for working class and I think, Chinese should think of changing their mind.

    We can't look at the Chinese girls as money oriented when they request from the man to own a house. It's something that has been in their heads that a man should own a house before marriage.

    SO once u meet up the girl who is focusing on this, you've got to preach to her, educating her and let her understand that, house doesn't marry you. I'm the one that loves u and tha't enough, we work and we shall get one. How many people have everything(Cars, house), and a few days after marriage, they get divorce!


  • Simen Stensvoll

    yes,as long as  he has other valuable property

  • Person
    Person wrote:

    @Lee Ford

    everyone is emotionally crippled? have you met everyone then? 

    7 billion people on this planet

    oh well,  you must be really busy...

    having an emotional reaction is what we do on this forum.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)


    Hahahahaha ... Person ... my own interpretation of "emotionally cripped" is a weakness in personality, so I think it is "safe" to assume that everyone (or nearly everyone) is such ... even the strongest can fall and cry, and even the nicest can be very violent, or something like that ...

    And, even if you are correct and Lee is wrong, i.e. not all girls saying such are "emoionally cripped" (and I am not doubting that the slightest bit), it does not change the fact that such girls exist ...

  • Person
    Person wrote:

    I was taking the psychological path about emotionally crippled~

    this is getting so complicated, why everytime when I take a simple path to say things, others just made it to a puzzle:s

    gonna do some java now, it will make me confused, but not like this~ 

  • Kent Løset
    Kent Løset wrote:

    I dont think girls want to marry guys BECAUSE they have a car and a house... But I do think girls find well educated and successful men more attractive and interesting than guys making a carreer out of working at McDonalds. And it just happens to be that successful men are more likely to own a house and a car.

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    maybe spanish people we don´t have such problems of understanding, becasue:

    spanish from country side and chinese from country side, similar way of live the life and think.
    spanish from cities and chinese from cities, similar way of life and think.
    so, we only need to know what kind of person we have in front of us, citizen or peasant, empathy does the rest.

    but, really, is not the same in other countries?

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    "Houses, cars, aquisitions are good but some ladies may choose sincer and long lasting love to others."

    I think you have it exactly backwards. The ones who will consider other factors are those who live out of poverty, in the big cities. NOT the ones from the countryside who went to the cities to make money, and not the ones living impoverished in the countryside.

    I'm not blaming anyone. If I had to live in a 2000 RMB flat due to cost (rather than because I'm a cheap ass), I would go find myself a rich chick too, and I would love her dearly.

  • Sylvia Zhang
    Sylvia Zhang wrote:




  • Peter S 李贝勒

    A chinese girl said to me about this question, very often girls are in "no money no honey" way of life...

  • Stine Ekren
    Stine Ekren wrote:


  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:



    很多人奇怪于为什么现在剩女(这个词儿没有歧视的意思,且仅指代心中其实很想嫁人,但因为种种原因久久未嫁,且各项事实“竞争优势”已开始下降的女性)这么多,这其实不奇怪,纯是供需关系决定的。“供大于求”的结果只能是给部分男性提供了很强的market power。而满足了需求之后的供给部分,可以选择不改变市场定位,继续选择供给特定人群,于是“价格”必然下降,意味着你只能承受高风险低回报而以小三儿的身份存在,或者就一直这么剩下去;也可以选择改变市场定位,“价格”也会下降,但结果是低风险低回报,最终收益率取决于改变市场定位后,心态是否能调整好。如果调整不好,就很可能回报为负了。



  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:





  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    no money no honey fo sure

  • Amalie Sæverud

    Dafan  作为现代都市男女关系的实践者和教育家 已经走出了一大步,希望你再接再砺,传播福音 救广大都市剩女于水深火热之中! lol

  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:

    DND,可惜我能力有限啊,帮她们解闷儿娱乐还说得过去,更多的就算了 :(

  • Peter S 李贝勒

    Prostitution is the act or practice of providing sexual services to another person in return for payment...

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)






  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)



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