这种发生在30-40 岁之间的感情分裂情况是正常的产物，， 这是一个过程， 有的夫妻挺过来了，有的可能就此分道扬镳。
the old customs from the imperial time never die, a comunist fever, during a handful of years, can not with them.
所以在国外的你们可能比国内的中国人更纯洁,, 可能 ^^
I don't accept the right to be dishonest to others, but you have to accept the culture you're in. The cultural standard is to cheat, so it's not really cheating if you cheat, unless you do it in some way that's not culturally acceptable, such as actually leaving your wife for the new person, and ceasing to support her. Just like guys talk about their future life of being married with their new girlfriends, even though they don't really have that plan. The girls know it's a lie, but they want to hear it anyway. If you expect a monogamous relationship, that needs to be expressed in no uncertain terms.
Is *the cultural standard* also the reason to bitch around about APPLICATION MUST INCLUDE PHOTO in China?
Flash Mob, one is the accepted practice which both parties agree to. If girls stopped fucking guys who cheat on them, the standard would be nullified. No one who is being harmed by the photo requirement has the power to nullify the discrimination that goes on, so I would say the two are not comparable.
I'm sure there are plenty of honest women who are rightly indignant about this issue, but stop for a second and think about who you're angry with: the mistress, or the adulterer?
Why villify the xiaosan as a "homewrecker"? That's not to different from the police busting into a KTV and arresting all the girls, but letting the johns (men who pay for sex) walk free.
Dudes are already of one mind about this. We all secretly (or in some cases, openly) hate monogamy and the idea of having to fuck the same person for the rest of our lives. Women know this and in many cases they silently accept it and normalize it as "human nature," but they fight amongst themselves because JUST LIKE MEN they treat mating as a form of primitive competition, except instead of trying to fuck as many dudes as possible, they'll settle for one "successful" dude.
Whether you're competing over quantity or quality, it's still stupid animalistic behavior.
I think it's the so-called "good girls" who call other women sluts, whores, and homewreckers who are enabling men to cheat. Really, they're just pushing their sisters under the bus so as to increase their own moral status and hence, their "market value" as potential brides.
I think the xiaosan should form a union and use collective bargaining to obtain greater benefits, then spread some of the surplus around to the ugly chicks. Go sisterhood.
One of the reasons that girls in China have been forced into accepting cheating as a part of the culture is that many Chinese wives spent some time in their 20s being a xiao san or an er nai themselves. I feel like half the 24 year old girls in Beijing are fucking someone elses husband. So later on, when they're 40 and married, they know they're on the other end of the spectrum, and they're just getting the same treatment they dished out when they were young. Turnabout is fair play.
How the men managed to work out this sweet situation I do not know.
I have dated a lot in this country, and with a couple of exceptions I have found Chinese girls to be loving, kind, generous, and very reasonable. Although I have been royally screwed over a few times (usually involving massive dishonesty and/or money-seeking stereotypes of the worst kind), I have not as of yet had my heart broken. A broken heart requires a long term relationship, so that love can develop, and thus a heart can be broken. I haven't been lucky enough to find the right girl for that kind of a serious relationship.
However, since I have a lot of experience dating, I've learned a few things. For instance, 2 different times I've found myself dating perfectly lovely Chinese girls, and only after we'd become sexually active did they mention to me that THEY ALREADY HAD A BOYFRIEND. The first time this happened I was shocked. The second time I wasn't even mad, I just resigned myself. Not surprisingly, neither of those relationships led anywhere. I'm still friends with one of the girls though, because, well...China is wierd place.
Also, as you know, there's nothing girls like to do more than gossip about their own friends. So I have heard endless tales from girls I know about their friends who are dating such-and-such married guy, or used to date a married guy, or are being pursued by a married guy, or are thinking about dating a married guy, etc etc. It just seems insanely common. I hear this end of the story because my friends are in their 20s. If my friends were in their 40s, I would probably hear the other side of the story -- the wives being cheated on.
Honesty in relationships is not a strength of either gender in this country I don't think.