Discussion » Dating & Romance » guys! guys! serious help needed!

  • JZ
    JZ wrote:
    name some good topics, or conversation starters for talking with a girl you newly met. I need some training here. No vedio games, 4chan, math, cars, politics and career, please. 和姑娘们聊天都该聊些什么?
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
  • Simen Stensvoll
    excuse me, i have been puzzled for a while,but what IS 4chan??
  • Pavoir Sponse
    Pavoir Sponse wrote:

    anal sex is quite a good ice breaker

  • Pavoir Sponse
    Pavoir Sponse wrote:

    Huh, a good weather conversation can last hours...

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)


    Hahahaha ... you asked for "conversation starter", not "conversation laster" ... also, being that you have lived in Oz for a while, you can actually use the difference in weather to start a conversation (e.g. if you have lived in Melb during winter, 4 seasons in one day might be interesting for some local Chinese) ... and then from weather, you can talk about all the green and about the general living environment ...

    "conversation" is to keep people interested, so for some people who had never been in Oz, and thinks we keep kangaroos and koalas as pets, your experience might be interesting ...

    Hope that helps :)


  • Simen Stensvoll
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)


    Hahahahaha ... food? now you are talking ...

    If you are planning to talk to a girl about food, you need to find out what she likes to eat (so make sure you ask questions to show that you are interested in her, as a person, not just because she is female), and at least know something about it ... DONT talk about what you like to eat, it might be repulsive ...


  • Peter Baird
    Peter Baird wrote:

    Work, hobbies, family, education and travel are always pretty safe topics. If that doesn't work, you can just jump right into abortion and the death penalty.

  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:
  • Daniel
    Daniel wrote:

    Work, hobbies, family, education and travel are always pretty safe topics

    I'd add plans for the future/ambitions and what they've done in the past to this list. It can't be that hard for you, right? Just show interest in getting to know them and don't talk about stuff that interests you unless directly asked about it.

  • Sakura
    Sakura wrote:


  • xxxxxxxx
    xxxxxxxx wrote:

    It depends on the girl actually, but you don't want to let her know even unintentionally that you are unable to come up with something cool to talk about, otherwise, that would be the last time you see her. 

    Since its a first date, I think its a good opportunity to explore her, to know the girl, what she likes, where she hangs out, what kind of people she hangs out with, ask her to talk about herself, like her background, what she does for a living, and avoid YES or NO type of questions. Ask her where she sees herself in 3 years. Talk about you a little bit, try your best not to sound stuck up though, try to be as humble as possible, but don't overdo it otherwise she'd think you have a low self esteem. BE ATTENTIVE, AND DON'T LOOK AT HER BOOBS...lol Don't crack up any stupid joke...lol, oh yeah, and no 4CHAN.

  • Joakim Berg Solum

    Off the top of my head...


    If you had a boyfriend and then break up with your him, who gets to keep the dog?

    How come foreign girls never date Chinese guys?

    Ask her about whether or not she wears contacts. Then ask her about those really dark iris extending contacts that lots of girls like to wear... the kind that make their pupils look bigger. You can tell her a story about how back in the Victorian days, girls used to actually put poison hemlock solution in their eyes to dilate them to give it the same effect, but then it makes them really sensitive to light and can cause blindness. Tell them they are glad they don't live in those times.

    You can also ask her about double eyelid surgery and about whether she likes Asian eyes or Westerner eyes better. Tell her about this one company that makes laptops with round LCD's so that Asian's can keep their eyes looking "Asian."

    Ask her about food, and tell her funny/crazy stories about the kinds of food you've eaten before. Best if you link it in to stories about her hometown... like "omg, last time I was at Anhui my friend offered me scorpions and bugs..." And you can say that even if it's not true.

    Ask her about her opinion on homosexuality. Tell her that you used to be gay until about 10 minutes after you met her, and try really hard to convince her you are actually telling the truth... er.... you are telling the truth right?

    If you met her on WLIB, bring up the Wulffmorgenthaler comics to her and ask her if she thinks they are good or bad.

    Also, if you met her on WLIB, you can ask her about her opinions on the following people: DingDang, Paganini Jing, Neal Seychelles, Jon Gu, MoMing, Pomegranate, and Carlos, and which one of these guys she thinks is the biggest pervert. Then tell her that all of them are actually YOU.

    Learn a little bit about fashion. Girls love to talk about fashion, and you only need a really really superficial understanding of it to talk to them. Like for instance, most guys know the big brands like Armani and Gucci and LV and Coach, but if you know the big brands that most men never heard of, like Christian Louboutin, Marc Jacobs, blah blah blah, then that might earn you some points.

    Ask her what's her favorite 饺子

    Do a fake palm reading on her. For example, you can look at her hands and be like... "this line means that you're going to die when your 52. This one means you're going to have 3 children, but you won't like any of them. That line there means you're going to be rich but you're going to lose all of your money paying for my sexual services. And that line right there... well, I can tell that you haven't had good sex for a long long time..."

  • Joakim Berg Solum

    Oh damn, this means I can't use any of those lines on any WLIB girls anymore... fuck what was I thinking?

  • Monica Jakobsen
    if your dont know how to talk to a girl that youre going to meet for the 1st time, better off not talking too much, try to listen and counter talk for the start.
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)


    Hahahaha ... just finished dinner, and then I thought ...

    If you need to get advice about how to talk to a girl, you are in loads of trouble already ... and if you are asking for advice here, you are in even more trouble ...

    I cannot imagine what might be going through that girl's mind, if she is actually one of WLIB members, and worse, if she had read this thread ...

  • Person
    Person wrote:

    i reckon food and travel~ girls dig that

  • xxxxxxxx
    xxxxxxxx wrote:

    haha,i am so NOT a professional, do you knw about the "Fake call app" its a sort of "bad date bailout call" its available on iphone, well, you can use that too..haha, you don't need an iphone for that though, what i usually do is, i set my alarm at a certain time(usually when i realize that the girl is boring), then when my phone rings i stand up, excuse myself and go outside or to the bathroom, then when i come back i just tell the person that i just got a very urgent call...hahaha....believe it or not, but i do it all the time, and it works. now, seriously, if you knw the person, say, your girl friend, relatives, then you have to be honest, but if you just met the person, for instance on a first date, then you have to come up with somethign believable.

    Don't tell her that your grandpa just fell off a cliff in Alaska, or that you dog just had a heart attack..say something like, i have to cover a class tomorrow, or that i have a test tomorrow, or an interview, or that you have to pick up a friend at the airport, or you have to meet your landlord, or you have to pay your rent, be creative 

    What you can do, and i guess most guys do it, especially here in Beijing. In the case of a blind date, just prepare a plan ahead of time, tell her in advance that you have to meet someone later on or you have something to do later on, prepare her for that in advance so that whenever you'd fell annoyed or bored by her you can just set THE BOMB OFF...lol it should be easy i guess

  • Jenelyn Tambago

    Dude, if you are bad talking, on your first date go to DO something. Anything you can do while talking about the thing you are doing you can chitchat a little bit and see on what grounds you are standing.

    Some ideas?

    - Prepare your own dinner and teach her how.
    - This one is good (specially in summer). Take her shopping, you probably end up watching her get changed in various light clothes. (hope for bikinis, but don't tell her you are paying...just tell her u need to get some stuff for U).
    - Invite more friends to a lunch or dinner. Couples would do since the girls would make her comfortable.
    - Visit some flea market or cheap stuff hand made market. The unusual things you see will be your topic.
    - Ask her to tour you around BJ.

    (not movies of course or you will end up not talking at all and thats not really the point, and if you think you can talk about the movie afterwards is a bad idea cause it probably will be short and forced. Like an interrogation... ).

    And after that if you think you have some common ideas or topics, go on and invite her for dinner or a cup of coffee...

  • Ekki
    Ekki wrote:

    "I want to drow your face"

  • Jenelyn Tambago


    Is not like putting effort on a date its for after sex dating...Thinking like that makes chances lower :P

  • Klisklass Kjærlighet

    When you meet her, notice each and everything in her, not in a vulgar way :) like her features, cloths, jewellry and even her shoes.

    The important thing is to keep eye contact and a gentle smile

    You need to make her talk, so talk something nice about what you have noticed, then she will give a big explanation and even its kinda boring you need to have that gentle smile and look into her eyes.

    You should listen to every detail she tell you. Be funny, but never make jokes on yourself, you should always maintain your level.

    Finally it all comes to actions, the way you speak, the way you express things, the way you make her interesting.

    Never get a topic to talk to a girl, she might not be interested in that, so just talk about her and make her talk, she will tell you everything and you can catch some points and carry on.

    Good luck :)

    PS: Whisper some sweet words near her ears, she will be touched :)

  • pommie
    pommie wrote:

    Whenever I go to a bar I order lemonade in a champagne glass. Then I go up to girls and talk about how much I love to drink "champers" or "shampoo". If they say it's expensive I say "Not to me because I'm so rich."

    If that doesn't work I say "I bet you 100 RMB I can touch your boobies without taking my hands out of my pockets".

  • Joakim Berg Solum

    Yeah guys, good luck getting girls to talk back to you... this isn't America here ya know? You gotta freaking plow through then with like 10 stupid stories before they feel comfortable enough to reply to you with something more than "oh really?" or "ur funny" or "yeah!"

    That's why it's called "work."

  • pommie
    pommie wrote:

    Jon Gu: I bet you 100 RMB I can touch your boobies without taking my hands out of my pockets.

  • Joakim Berg Solum

    I bet you could do a lot more than that w/o taking our hands out of your pockets...

  • pommie
    pommie wrote:

    I tell you what - I found a hole in one of them! That's why I was so distracted just now.

    I think that 100 RMB fell out of it and all, I guess I'll have to give you that next time.

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