People fall in love and at times seem to be happy. It often happens that at times they fall for their lovers friends too at the same time and never fear to show it. Your best friend loves your girl and she is ready for it behind your back. You fall for your girls friend and very greatly willing to do it.
Would you forgive your lover and do away with your friend or forgive your friend and do away with your lover? Do you discard both?
A girlfriend in an open relationship hooked up with the dude who used to be my best friend, but I never begrudged either of them for it, particularly because there was no deception involved. The friendship ended about a year before that, for totally unrelated
reasons. It really wouldn't have made a difference the other way around.
The only thing that bothered me was the apparently malicious intention she seemed to have, but then when the two of them ended up actually getting along pretty well, it didn't bother me at all. The dude never really redeemed himself in my eyes, but I'm still
pretty close with that ex-girlfriend.
That's the small town geeky hipster clusterfuck for ya. There's a very small pool of attractive freaks, and everybody's been all up in everybody else.
Which isn't all bad if you're like me and you strive to maintain the Buddhist notion of equanimity. Sitting in the eye of the drama hurricane, all cool as a Shaolin monk. Jealousy is just an illusionary impulse brought about by the commodification of human
relationships, wherein people are treated as though they are private property.
As long as folks are being honest, I say keep the friend, keep the girlfriend, and arrange a 3P. Everybody wins.
I think things happen for a reason and you just have to let the cards fall where they may. Anticipating a "betrayal" is half of the problem. Worrying about what did happen, what is happening or what could happen means you're out of alignment with yourself.
All is full of love. :)
Stive on, Dando! jealousy is the worst shit in the world, and when it hits you like a truck you feel like a fuckin loser! the eye of the drama hurricane is the best seat in the world, but how the fuck do you get there (or stay there) with the winds of drama
howling all around? I guess saying you're there is half the battle.
It's just a matter of parsing the real sins from the inconvenient social norms. Of course I'd feel emotionally betrayed if my friends did something behind my back, I'm a brutally honest asshole, after all, and everyone knows that's the only thing I really care
about. Physical betrayal? What the hell is that?
Problem is that a lot of chicks--the younger ones, especially--assume that if you don't get pissed off, you don't care. That in turn is a good way of sorting out the attention seekers.