Discussion » Dating & Romance » can you be friends with your ex?

  • OrangeRose
    OrangeRose wrote:
    someone said:if you really loved each other,then u would not be friends after breaking up.
    is that true?
    or anyone had been through this kinda situation?
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    To answer your question, and in my case ... no ...
  • Peter Baird
    Peter Baird wrote:
    I tried being friends with my ex after we split, as there were no bad feelings involved in the breakup and we have a son together. It is good for him to have his parents get along. However, when I wanted to go home for a visit and would not let me stay with her, I quit speaking to her for a year. If you want to be friends with someone, you must treat them as friends.

    She got the message. We are friends again. :-)
  • Colin Jacobsen
    peter i see.
    well ur situation is more complicated plus u still have a connection with her (ur son)..i guess she will b a part of ur life forever...
  • Colin Jacobsen
    叮噹叔叔 haha in my case..no neither
  • Zoé
    Zoé wrote:
    why not???
  • Espen Kringstad
    i still have good friendship relationship with my ex. i told them it was one part of the duality of live : union/ separation, married/divorce , live/death....
  • Kristoffer Sommer Wormsen
    fariy tale only stay on pure and turely heart.
  • Colin Jacobsen
    well,my ex bf said he and his exgf r friends now.but until now,there's no signs show that me and him could b friends.at least neither of us made a move yet.
  • Alex
    Alex wrote:
    I can't, too many feelings to deal.
    When the relationship is done, I prefer to hold the good moments and lessons learned in my mind....and turn the page.
  • Saint - Spartacus
    a choice or nothing,
    those can still be friend with ex not really responsable , unfair for actural bf or gf
    the relationship with ex will never be pure such as sex stuff, so , depends you like to be a pure person or complicated one : P
  • Mia Cong
    Mia Cong wrote:
    highly likely we'd end up being friends, not that being familiar strangers is uncool, it's just not Mia's style X)
  • Colin Jacobsen
    eric i agree with u somethimes u have to think abt ur actual bf/gf...and i think the friend thing with ex..should not be involved with SEX! just casual phone calls, maybe grab a dinner together sometimes..?! is it possible?
  • Sebastian Olsen
    i cannot be friends with my ex-bf.
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    I stayed friends with every single ex-girlfriend I have. The high school ones from 10 yrs ago I've lost contact with but from college and up... I still talk with all of the exes. Actually just helped my most recent ex move out of her apartment.

    I don't see the problem. Sometimes it just takes time to get over prior issues. It took almost a year before that ex could be friends with me again. We were close, almost married her... it was a pretty painful breakup, but now we're pretty close friends and she still considers me her "soulmate" whatever the fuck that means.
  • Bing
    Bing wrote:
    in my case..no
  • Sally
    Sally wrote:
    i cant be friend with my ex, or it will be another mess...believe me
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    I'm still in touch with several of my ex-girlfriends back home and here in China. Maybe it's because most of my breakups have been more or less unilateral on my part, and I'm trying to save up some good karma so that when I meet the right girl to break my heart, she might show me some mercy.

    Truth be told, I don't like to get involved with someone unless I'm reasonably sure that we will still be friends if and when we split up. Friendship is a stable foundation for romance, and being a good friend isn't otherwise contingent on someone's willingness to buy dinner and/or fuck.

    BTW, I've got all these glass dildos that I want to mail home to a couple of special ladies. Is China Post good enough for this, or would I be running the risk of them getting broken or stolen?
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    Hahahaha ... the postage in China is quite OK, but you might want to pay extra for EMS or registered post :)
  • Webslave
    Webslave wrote:
    friendship is the foundation of love relationships, if this relationship does not work out, it automatically also affect the friendship. One need a good deal of distance to get know each other anew from a different angle after digesting the break up. I survived the few break ups i went through, and no, i m still not interested in getting back onto a friendship basis with former girlfriends. The other thing is, the person you love wont change in his/her core attitude/behavier/habits/believes etc. and there has been a reason why you loved and why it didnt work out. Coming back together always has this bitter taste that i personally cant handle.
  • 巴尔克
    巴尔克 wrote:
    bull shit...if u r frnd with ur ex and u guys r on a trip..and another person staying in a room with ur ex..what do u think abt this??so answer is no
  • kö
    never~!!! and forgot them!! thats my unlce told me!!
  • Peter S 李贝勒
    always have good relation with my ex... if u separate it means that it doesn t work, as a life partner, but why not as a friend?
  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:
    no but i can be friends with your Ex gf :P
  • Colin Jacobsen
    well i broke up with my ex-bf last month and he just called me the same day ...and rightnow i dont even know whether he's alive... we never contacted each other.. kinda weired...
    iamnot sure whether wecould b friends any more... we were so happy together...so the breakin-up thing suddenly makes everything to nothing?
  • Colin Jacobsen
    good point.. how could a friend broke ur heart..so we ccan't b friends...
  • Colin Jacobsen
    i can't understand...why'd like to have sex with exs? no way... too awkward
  • Webslave
    Webslave wrote:
    a break up doens vanish what you had but what has happened in the past will always be frozen in time, no matter if you are still together or not. What is real is only the now, if that doesnt work, well i guess a break up seems to be natural. Ppl come together under certain circumstances and open up to each other in a way that you normal dont to other ppl. If that intimate way of communication breaks down for what ever reason, the magic is gone.
  • Alexander Myrstuen haukerud
    It is too 囧 to lovers

  • Alexander Myrstuen haukerud
    maybe 5 years later ? 囧囧囧
  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:
    no way. shes history.
  • Minger
    Minger wrote:
    小莫,does that mean crazy Ji-Eun was right?
  • Klisklass Kjærlighet
    No, it just spoils the on going relationship
  • Suzzane Mccusker
    Nah. In most of the cases, the answer is NO. I don't even want to still be friends with most of my exs, except one. But he stoped contacting me, it was a nice breakup tho.

    I prefer to focus on the current relationship and friends.
  • Steven Ritter
    Steven Ritter wrote:
    I was married to my first wife for 27 years(4 kids). We are friends today and kiss and hug when we see each other. Contrast that to my almost ex Russian wife whom I hope never to ever see again.

    Vicki is right..focus forward
  • Amalie Sæverud
    oh, another famous question, if you sleep with your friends, couldy you still be friends? haha
  • Petter Meisfjordskar
    It depends on the way you broke up. But many girls would want to be friends with the first butcher man.
  • 事与愿违
    事与愿违 wrote:
    no,i think i can't
  • Petter Meisfjordskar
    Not sure above?
  • Simen Stensvoll
    if we were friends before the broke up,then yes
    otherwise no
  • Petter Meisfjordskar
    What does that mean? Is it possible to have an ex who was not a friend before Miss Minimy?
  • Linda Marie Hylander
  • Simen Stensvoll
    but,i think this kind of relationship is quite common,after all,we are all in a rush
    when u meet an attractive guy/girl,what's the first thing come up to ur mind?u have broken up before u really got to know each other
    theoretically,most relationships between man and woman are not based on any solid friendship.
    otherwise u won't ask this question
    a real friend is always happy for his friends happy
    thats why we want to break up

  • Rebecca Dreiling
    No, no, no, no, no, no and NO!
  • 巴特
    巴特 wrote:
    I am friends with my ex and so far, there has not been any major issues.
  • Xiao
    Xiao wrote:
    hell no. that's gonna be awkward. and i just can't pretend to like someone. especially after we break up.
  • Petter Meisfjordskar
    Ex means gone case. Unless one does not know the meaning of "ex". I would bite her if she came back to me whimpering and shaking those lousy hips around. "Ex" hahahha, no friend with an ex.
  • R-R
    R-R wrote:
    I think it depends.I still be friends with my ex .And i guess that is because we liked each a lot when we broke up.I thought to stop keeping in touch but he said "I want to know if u are ok there"I take it as he wants to know if im still alive haha
    But if he cheated me before maybe it will be different.
    If it was a great memory for each of u guys why not to remember it but in a different way.
    I like to think of things different and nicer.I want to remember the greatest time in my life and the truth is i only remember the good stuff.
  • Petter Meisfjordskar
    Above, remembering is different from being friends with your ex, right? He needs to know how you are, hehehehe, he is still into you and soon you will end up in because i see by your look that you still love him. He is not yet your ex i am sure.
  • Annie Ann
    Annie Ann wrote:
    Absolutely no. It's gonna make things even worse. You gotta move on.
  • Christian Jacques, Photography
    Guess it all depends on how happen your breakup.. I am still good friend with my ex and can keep up a friendship. She is in Europe and each time I go in the area, I can stop by and visit her. Love have been giving place to a friendship and we keep it that way. no problem whatsoever with my actual gf and we call each other on the phone both ways.
  • Colin Jacobsen
    we were good together.. just the breaking up makes everything turn to be nothing? thats sad.. the good memory is worthless?
  • Jenelyn Tambago
    No way you can be friends, specially if you really love each other, cause even if one of them is sure about the breakup the other one is hunging and waiting to go back together, or stuff. And for that person it hurts to be waiting or seeing the other person moving on without you,more if you have seen your future with that person...

    It may be 1 or 2 cases like that around, but i think there is no way it will really work.
  • Colin Jacobsen
    Pablo Navarrete hey!
    but if two persons really loved each other.. but the past must be really meanful.. those two can not be together..but at least they should cherish what they had b4.. just thinkin abt the wonderful memory ,how come one hated the other?
  • Xiao
    Xiao wrote:
    it's not that they will hate each other. it's just hard to live all your life with some memories.
    it's like when you are on a diet you are starving and everything, and people comfort you by telling you that you can still have some skimmed yoghurt and fruits, but you know deep in your soul that all you want is a huge piece of steak with a lot of french fries and coke. skimmed yoghurt and fruits are just something people make up to make you feel better. it WILL NOT make you feel any better.
    besides you won't like your memories any more after you break up i suppose. it gets bitter.
  • R-R
    R-R wrote:
    I have to agree with Christian! Depends on.....

    COOL: i have to not agree with you! Im not only still talking be friends with my ex incude my ex exx.but there is someone i never want to see anymore not even talk to .

    Depends on....
  • R-R
    R-R wrote:
    Miss Pink: i dont think its worthless andi think its cruel to say that if u were good together.I dont know how long have u been broken up with him.I was depressed and sad at the beginning but time pass and i grown up too.Then i realised the value of those memory is more important even than that relationship is.Its ur destiney.Dont know if u believe in it.But i do.Think of it in good ways why always bad ways.Anyway only if he still want to be friends too...
  • Jenelyn Tambago
    Miss Pink,
    Xiao is right, is not that you hate, is that it hurts, at least for 1 of them...we are talking about really loving each other like a lover, not that relationship that you end up being friends because you both realize that you are not in love.

    Do you know any example of this kind of relationship ? cause i don't...even one of my sisters had a bf for 8 years...and she loved him like a brother after all that time, and now they don't talk with each other, since he was still in love.

    And you have to ask your self, if they are still friends, will you be completly sure both of them are not in love? or one is still there waiting for the other to change his/her mind and find out that he/she is still in love....
  • Colin Jacobsen
    xiao nice comparison... realy smart!
  • Colin Jacobsen
    tahnk u .. ahhh i get ur point .. and maybe its more easy to b friends or to let go for the person who wanted to break up.(and it was me) ...
    but still i think he is kinda childish...forgetting all good things instead to hate me..
  • Colin Jacobsen
    Pablo Navarrete
    yeah thats right.. sometimes teh reality is more complicated and cruel than i ever imagined...thats the beauty of life..maybe!
    maybe i moved on..but he's not ready... yeah i should wait...
  • Jenelyn Tambago
    is not about being childish, its that it hurts...he is in love, and all those good memories hurts, it makes it easier sometimes to hate your ex, so it wont hurt too much. Remember in this case you cannot understand cause your are sure that you don't love him the same way anymore.
  • R-R
    R-R wrote:
    Miss Pink:If like this,then leave him alone.He chose hate in the end it wont be easy to let him to be friends with you.Just get back on ur feet.He needs a while i guess,maybe untile he meet another girl then someday u guys might be friends.Or he will hate you for this forever.Its possible.
    It really depends on...
    Dont bother by this anymore,be happy!
  • Elise Andersson
    it actually depends on the relationship, mutual understanding and the reasons of breakup, but still its nearly impossible to stay as friends...
  • Wanda
    Wanda wrote:
    I hope we can make friends,but it never happened.
  • 外交猫
    外交猫 wrote:
    Ex Sex is the Best Sex.

    Words to live by.
  • Petter Meisfjordskar
    You mean if she can do what you used to do?
  • Cynthia
    Cynthia wrote:
    in my opinion, it depends on which kind of situation.
  • Colin Jacobsen
    Ethan wrote:
    Ex Sex is the Best Sex.
    Words to live by.

    sounds nasty
  • Rebecca Dreiling

    I totally disagree. I've had ex sex, and it was not impressive. Besides, sleeping with your ex is emotional cutting.
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    No way Rebecca... everyone knows that breakup/angry/get-back-together sex or period sex is the best sex...
  • Jenelyn Tambago
    period sex ????? AI YO! that's bloody disgusting...tho when you are horny i guess there's nothing stopping you, but still!

    the kiss of the clown ><
  • Huihui
    Huihui wrote:
    You can be freinds with your ex as long as you are sure of yourself that you won't expect more from him(like get together again...)
  • Winnie
    Winnie wrote:
    thought couldnt. did try, for 1.5 years. failed.
    so the answer is absolutely NO!
    never gonna try again. clean cut ppl. clean cut!
  • Thao Tran
    Thao Tran wrote:
    Unless you become very cold, then what kind of relationship is not a matter....

    How to become cold? When you get hurt enough, you will be cold enough...
  • Serena
    Serena wrote:
    I cant never !~

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