We learn to love, we don´t born with this ability, babies and little kids don´t love their parents, still they are in egoist stage, their relations with the environment are mediated by the most basic interests (pleasure, food, affection).
words like -dad- or -mum- are only the sounds for call the providers of food affect. In fact change the persons that give the food to the baby, and the baby will begin to use -dad- and -mum- for call them.
So We learn to love.... but the problem is also that in this proccess of learning with each bad experience, we close in ourself more and more, we return to the egoism stage, emotional scars become in problems of confidence with the other person in a relation,
our memories of bad experiences do that we don´t give all in a relation. In fact the most of the time, we are checking the other person looking deffects, in a state of caution....
the common solution for this?? begin to understand the relations like temporal contracts, create a net of friends, with superficial conections, then you will not suffer if one of these relations break up. If one conection falls, you can change easily. We can
use webpages like this, for have a lot of potentials ¨friends¨, spend the time with them, kill the the feelings of boredom and loneliness, but all of this is a relief, not a cure.
be sociable in this case, don´t say nothing, the question is: how many real friends you have? can you have a close relation?