Discussion » Dating & Romance » Marriage and Match-making companies

  • Steven Ritter
    Steven Ritter wrote:
    Many of my Chinese friends have asked me to help them find a husband in America. As my friends are much older than they are, this is an undaunting task.

    Many of my friends have lived/dated with foriegners all over China, but their story is usually the same...their bf's use them for sex/companionship, but will not marry them for whatever the reason. What to do if they are dead set on marrying a foriegner/American?

    My recommendation might be in using a dating/marriage service based overseas like match.com, eharmony.com, or chemistry.com. I once found my Russian wife on match.com 11 years ago. People who use these sites tend to be more "marriage minded" and if they can afford the air fare to China, then they are more serious about getting married, and not just easy sex.

    Just a broad suggestion. Always prudence is best...use webcams, phones and there are other resources and security checks available. Best wishes to you aspiring brides.
  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:
    I wonder what makes someone insist on marrying a foreigner anyway. I guess I am lucky to be foreign if we are that sought after. I plan to stay in china, so the odds are I will marry a Chinese girl, but I do not require her to be Chinese as a rule.... Hmmm interesting.
  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:
    well said Paulina! I second that motion!
  • Steven Ritter
    Steven Ritter wrote:
    Paulina/Kodi...I didn't give my views on individual choices. In my particular case I sought a Chinese girl. I was expressing sentiments given me by over 15 Chinese girls in their quest for husbands. Of course, Paulina..it's the person in the end. That said, people often seek "Mr/Mrs Right" from a particular country.

    LOL Paulina, the reverse is true..rather than marrying a stupid Chinese/foreigner, I would marry a nice American girl. Who wants to marry a stupid person off any nationality. In my case, I just so happened to find and fall in love with a Suzhou girl who has a masters degree in American literature. Not all foreigners are stupid, of course. Hope all is well in Paris. Marriage/Love are interesting subjects for people of all ages and nationalities.

    Kodi..nice to get back to you after a a few months. Yes, many foreigners are sought after for many, many reasons..good/bad. Yes, it comes down to individual chemistry/ideas..and lets not leave out love. I envy you in some ways Kodi...yes, with you staying in China, the chances of finding a Chinese wife are excellent, though, like you said, not required.... In my case it was what I was seeking and found.
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    Hahaha ... Steven, long time no see, how is your business? Or have you set up a marriage agency? Any web site? Perhaps not ...

    "Not all foreigners are stupid"? ... hahahaha ... I wonder who, of all, are the stupid ones, but that's not for me to question, right?

    About this "marriage agency" business, it is like any middle-man business, either it be head-hunter (recruitment), realty ... there are some honest ones, and there are some not so honest ones, but in both cases, they will always draw a nice pretty picture about a person etc ... if I remember correctly, a lot of girls from Asian countries were married to Europe and America this way, as a way to "escape" ...

    I will just say this ... yes, join the agency as you like (similarly, come to WLIB, hahaha) ... but in order to know a person or DE person, one must meet, talk and listen to him/her, in flesh and blood, but not via a third-party, even emails and chatting can be fake ... sadly, most people seems to be too busy these days that they rely on fake info on the web, or news and gossips from the third-party or fourth-party ...

    God bless :)
  • Steven Ritter
    Steven Ritter wrote:
    YHi, yes, it has been a long time since I have been in the forum...that said, I have stayed in touch with many of my WLIB friends.

    My airport business at Dulles Airport is doing fine. We are doing less business than years ago because the tourist market is down.

    Now I don't represent any marriage agencies. I mentioned 3 of the most prominent American dating marriage agencies because some of my friends wanted to know how to meet and marry seriously minded, marriage intended Americans. 11 years ago I met my soon to be divorced wife in one of them. Though my wife is beautiful, and very gifted, I didn't realize the Russian culture (in my case) was anti-marriage for an American..

    I agree, there is nothing like in person get togethers. In todays technology, using web cams, security checks, chats with your new friends relatives, makes scams less likely. Yes, in any relationship, there may be fakes and scams, and yes many tens of thousands of Asians marry foreigners..many good and bad.

    I have enjoyed meeting nice friends here in WLIB. I just happened to meet my fiancee in Spaces, but had that not happen, I could have very well developed a friendship here. A dillemma for my friends in Beijing and the rest of China, is to take the locals seriously, as there is often not the sense/desire of urgency to marry, but to enjoy the companionship and sex.

    When a foreigner (abroad) desides to marry a Chinese/Asian girl, they are usually more serious about marriage because of the expense and time committment. There are limited resources for travel and vacation time..that is my point. Simply put, many of my friends want marriage to someone serious and they were not finding it locally. Also, many dream of the better life abroad, be it USA, England, France, Canada, Australia..or others as well.

    I enjoy WLIB..I have met many talented and wonderful people..some guys, who have given me their expertise in living in China...big thanks you you guys.

    God bless you as well:) Nice to say hi again.
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    Hahaha Paulina ... "Many not beautiful but not ugly"? You never know who just might be reading this ...

    About this "partial" business ... we all see (or hear) what we WANT, but not what we NEED, which is why I think lies are easier to our eyes and ears than truth ...

    ** just met one successful client today, so maybe I dont know what I am talking about ... hell, half the time I have no idea what I am saying in this forum, hahaha ...
  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:
    Yep! everything has two sides. You look at one side of the mountain, but the other side is hidden. I am sure good comes from this as well as some bad.

    My mom met her husband on Match.com and she is very happy now. He is a wonderful man who takes great care of her and has taught her very much. I am grateful to him for being such a lovely husband who she can grow with. Her experiences with men before she found him with the help of an online dating site were less than spectacular. Navigating the dating landscape of today can be a headache and dating agencies can help. The Chinese are notoriously known for their creatively profitable ideas as well as their style of doing business : ) I do not see how dating agencies in China would be any different. I am sure some are great and some are not so good. Profit is profit right?

    I used to get ripped off every day buying fruit from this lady on the road until I went to another shop with my freshly bought fruit in tow when the girl was curious about how much I paid for the fruit. I told her and she smiled and asked me if she could weigh it for me. I allowed her and then found that the other woman's scale was tampered with in order to show a heavier weight. Hmmmmm interesting.... So then I went back to the other woman gave her her fruit back and told her that she will never achieve anything in life cheating people in business, which she acted like she knew nothing about. I made my point. Just watch what fruit you buy : ) Be sure the agency is credible.
  • Steven Ritter
    Steven Ritter wrote:
    Interesting points everyone.

    Paulina...i agree with you most always. I know a couple of very beautiful Chinese girls married/with wealthy Chinese guys...both unhappy in love, but their needs are well provided. Divorce is in the picture. Many Chinese girls are beautiful/pretty and educated by my standards (they consider themselves average/normal) but are poor, either unemployed, lousy, low paying-high hour jobs, bf's with no money or won't marry them...and are looking for something better in their life. Some look for true love/family in a foreigner some for greencard better life and opportunities in another country. Some are gold diggers surely..not all. To be fair, some foreigners are looking for companionship/sex too so there is a trade off.

    I believe I got lucky. Registering with someone 32 may have avoided the green card-golding girl I was engaged to from Chengdu for 6 months. Time will be the judge.

    Most foreigners abroad and the Chinese girls should know what they are getting into. As Kodi mentioned, match.com is widely viewed as reputable (as the other 2 I mentioned. Still it all boils down to the individuals.

    Just adding some commentary. So many Chinese girls looking for love wherever they can find it., and hopefully get a better life, China or abroad. Girls like Paulina are fortunate to travel the world and be more selective in their lifes choices.
  • Steven Ritter
    Steven Ritter wrote:
    Paulina...I consider you my friend. No, you did not hurt my feelings, in fact everything you said I agreed with you. I think you are one fortunate/lucky Chinese/HK girl that has good things going for her. I hope you are successful in Paris.

    One thing to note. I have met Chinese girls personally in 4 cities and chatted, web cammed, spoke on phone, emailed maybe 40 or so girls in the last 2 years. I can only relate to my personal experiences..good, great, and so so. I was impressed with my former Chengdu gf who returned to me $2000 and my pc worth about the same. I never expected either one.

    Some people are very wary about internet dating. In todays world, with busy lives, many people don't want to look for their "marriage love" at a bar/club, the internet can be, a good, safe, starting point.

    Thanks for your input Paulina. :))
  • Amber
    Amber wrote:
    where is the passion from?
  • wrote:
    "Many of my Chinese friends have asked me to help them find a husband in America. As my friends are much older than they are"
    年龄不是问题了 Age is not a problem, if they like to marry an American, then you can satisfy their requirement.

    "I was impressed with my former Chengdu gf who returned to me $2000 and my pc worth about the same. I never expected either one."
    Yes, she is a not material woman, but you will expect more material ones in this country, I just wondering if you bought a house for her, will she return it to you? haha
  • Steven Ritter
    Steven Ritter wrote:
    Sun..hahaha..so funny..somehow I don't think she would have returned the house. I did tell her that I would buy a house for her parents once we got registered. That same offer stands for my Suzhou fiancee's parents.

    Amber.....you are so right on...the passion has to be built with personal contact. Until I register with my gf, that is the hardest part, the lack of physical passion. We sense the passion on the webcam, but it is not the same. That is when long term goals (such as an overseas relationship) outweigh the short term lust.

    The internet is a good beginning..nothing beats flying to China to be passionate.
  • Anna
    Anna wrote:
    i'm glad to see that everyone here is normal and calm on this topic. i've read too much about how much chinese girls insist on marrying foreigners and how angry chinese guys feel...

    for some girls,marrige can be interpreted in two ways:chance of changing life, or promise of long term relationship in name of love. the problem is, does everyone know what she want ? could marrige guarantee ur happy life and ur love?

    here's my favorate fable: everyone needs blanket to keep warm in the cold winter. but please remember, it's u but not the blanket who heat the bed:)

    good luck every one!
  • wrote:
    " i've read too much about how much chinese girls insist on marrying foreigners and how angry chinese guys feel..."

    Why do you have such stupid feeling?
    I never care about whom you will marry, even he is an American dog.
    I just believe no one respects the bitch.
    But frankly speaking, aren't there too much bitches in this country?

    " I did tell her that I would buy a house for her parents once we got registered. That same offer stands for my Suzhou fiancee's parents."
  • Steven Ritter
    Steven Ritter wrote:
    sun..its a shame your life is so miserable that you have to rely on insults. Its Chinese guys like you that make the Chinese girl want the foreigner. (Not all Chinese guys are like you..thank goodness.

    When you rely on name calling and insults such as bitches, it shows you are a low class, uneducated individual with real low esteem problems. Please try to act more mature..it would show some class.

    Anna..you are right about marriage..no one can predict an everlasting loving marriage...there are no guarantees in life...it is what the couple make it to be...now as to findind the warmth under the blanket.....mmmmm so right again!
  • Mohammed Abdi
    Mohammed Abdi wrote:
    poster, u have my grain of salt

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