We're two normally competent, handsome men who, owing to having just arrived in Beijing, have been rendered quite helpless in the face of Chinese.
So, we have a spare room in our charming flat overlooking Chaoyang Park, which is spacious and comfortable without being ridiculous. (Palm Springs is next door and we regularly go and pee in their fountain (they're too much))
We'd like a nice charming Chinese girl or guy to live with us. I'll be honest - we need the help. But we also want to live with a Chinese person because it's more interesting. But this is no anthropological experiment.
You'll get access to a fridge full of fine food, excellent alcohol; we eat and drink well. All mod cons, plus we get to go to a lot of fun stuff for free, which you can come to as well.
Us? we're two English iconoclasts in our late 20s who are fun to live with, if rather a pain in the arse when it comes to being messy.
You? Ideally, a pliant sexy woman who likes to hang out in her underwear, just like us. But if we have to, we'll settle for a fat Chinaman with a sweat problem. Whatever works.
Seriously, you need to be social, intelligent an understanding of the fact that we regularly fuck up, get baffled by Chinese bureaucracy, lose our keys and stare blankly in the face of service personnel who come to our door to fix something, we don't know what. Help us! and we'll help you...
A tiny nominal rent to cover bills but otherwise you'll be living large for next to nothing in a very nice address. We love our home and we want you to love it too. Maybe we'll even love each other? Who knows!