but do you think here forum more and more interesting ?
btw there is no magazine no AD and unallowed copy that should be fine.
here just interpersonal communication. why not try speak out what you wonder?
or in other words perhaps you can learn sth you dunno from here.
now I hope the guy who submit "sex with chinese girls..." Johan join us and we can funny finding. lol
but his tip really is a laughing stock.
But it's reflectible thinking that not only one perhaps more dudes.
I might argue that there's only one of these two things...
@David, I'm presuming your ex was from mainland and not from a big city...
A) Makes sense. Would be better to clarify that point before getting into the relationship in the first place, since there are remarkably different cultures mixing about here.
B) Be culturally respectful. I think it's illegal to have sex with a virgin if you don't intend to marry her. If she's from a very small village, you're lowering her eligibility to marry someone else. Or you could look at it as "educating her in modernity",
like most [fukheads] with money from the cities tend to.
C) Yes to your first question, but almost all mainland girls from the countryside believe they're not going to have sex until after they're married, right up until they have sex with their first boyfriend. The boyfriends are typically expected to have sex with
hookers or have other girlfriends on the side while they're dating.
As a side note, all girls who are not virgins have had exactly one prior boyfriend, since being too casual is taboo. 5 boyfriends later, she's still had only 1 ex boyfriend.
小莫, you got it totally backwards. Didn't you see the related thread? The way to a woman's heart is through her vagina. A girl only actually loves you after you have sex, she's just pretending to love you before that. (this is why no girls love me). Guys
are quite the opposite. We love everyone until we've had sex with them, but after that we just want a nap, a sandwich, and for them to get the hell out of our flat so we can have our space.
well well well guys guys guys... i think that when u have sex or make love with the person u like, or love( thats harder than just like, so lets start from the begining:like) u feel closer to him or he:, discovering what he or she likes, in which ways,
etc. I dont think, u could love somebody who doesnt make u feel a thing when u re having sex with, so sex & love have in some way RELATION in between.......its my opinion anyways..........
For those on the site who dont read Chinese id like to translate a post
and point out something important
Sea Ling wrote:
Everyone in the world whos ever experienced true love nows that only if you have true feelings for someone will you think about giving yourself to that person, moreover only when you use your heart to love someone will you really want to have that person and
be with that person, because when you have love for a person you wil cherish them twice over. Even if you really want somebody but that person is not willing to offer their body to you, because you love that person you will be able to respect that persons
This perspective is clearly that of a female but more importanly the thought process is distinctively Chinese (normal as it is written by a Chinese female) in its character.
Let me point to the usage of two phrases 把自己送给对方 (give myself to my partner), and 奉献自己的身体 (offer my own body).
Here we come to an interesting point, the concept of sex within a relationship (particularly in China).
If women consider sex as something which they offer to men, something which should be earned once the partner is deserving then there are always going to be confusions and disagreements within a relationship, and more importantly men are going to deceive women
to get sex.
I would not go so far as to say that Western women would not consider sex this way but it is a far more Chinese (female) way of looking at sex.
DaFan said something important
A relationship is not really a relationship without sex
Therefore you can not really fully gauge the extent of your love for someone until you are in a full relationship (including sex) with someone.
It is possible to find that after having sex a few times with someone you like you might find the feelings are not developing. For guys a womans attitude to sex can make us feel much more comfortable with her and make us enjoy her comnpany even more. For a
me if a woman is relaxed comfortable and confident in our sexual relationship it will attract me much more. I like many men can not say I love a woman until I have been having sex with her for a while and we are in a full relationship.
Men by nature are far more impulsive than women, its is easier for us to have sex with any women, but usually (unless we are extremely drunk) we will only have sex with a woman we personally find attractive (the first box men tick when looking for potential
Some women however believe that by using sex as a trading tool they can gauge a mans level of interest in her i.e by holding out on having sex with a partner even if they themselves want sex with that person they can find out if the partner truly loves them
(the so called if he loves me he will wait idea). However a woman who does this is a woman who is most likey going to be deceived and hurt the most.
By doing this she leaves herself open to two things
1) Losing someone who was potentially a good match for her (because he will not wait)
2) Being deceived by a guy who only wants you for sex (he will wait but he will be fucking on the side and/or is just waiting to fuck you as a trophy fuck)
There is the potential that a guy will wait in which case the women succeeds, however during the period the guy is waiting he will actually be suffering (no guy likes waiting for sex once he has decided he likes a girl).
So whats the answer?
Im clearly not trying to state that what women need to do is just fuck straight away (although im sure many guys would be happy with this solution) but what I think women need to do is understand more clearly the way men think.
Men are strange creatures as are women, what often happens with men and women is that men can be more interested at first but if things do not progres
I think sex has always come first to most people. The word LOVE is not as we think it is. It is more than what people think it is. many people are married with out love, but like for each other. I think love is left in the jungle where i am allowed to
take care of my 30 LIONESS' through out my life. If you ever see the world in teach others eyes, then you are in love.
they will lose interest. Women on the other hand gain interest as the relationship goes one. However men will lose interest if there is no sex because he has already decided he likes this girl (the word love can not be used at this stage for men) and he
wants progress in the realtionship.
If both sides are lucky they will meet somewhere in the middle, the guy while is interest is waning and on the way down and the women while her interest is on the way up and she wants to take things further
Love and sex are complicated things and men and women will never fully agree but the the better we understand each other the easier things become
Good luck boys and girls
agree with Zak
i really don't understand why some women consider sex as something they offer to men
such as when they broke up,the girl always thinks that he was wasting her time,using her body...
but was she wasting his time,using his body at the same time?
its quite unfair to think in that way
sex is a joy,not a trade
to have sex with someone doesn't mean to love someone
but i think ,to love someone definitely means to have to have sex with him
@ Chinese name above,
I think some women think it is a way to bind and show the man that they love him. I am not that into sex, and i would refuse and go for even a year. I enjoy a long dating full of fun. Opps!!!!!
@ COOL above
"give in to" sex before love???? 我靠都什么时代了
you are also displaying the kind of attitude I tried to describe in my post
as if sex is a sacrifice that a women has to make so that she can be with a man
that is what most girls do, to think that it will help bind the man to him. They think if they do not, the man will run away. The whole issue is complicated because if we make a count here and ask how many men, genuinely, would have a long wait, many would
say they would not. So we pity the girls. at times they have no option, and the men get greatly demanding for it.
There are girls who think and do this, which I think is wrong. When I find out a girl thinks like this I wil not want to have any kind of relationship with her, it will change my whole opinion of her (with regards to her being someone i was attracted to).
However when 小麻豆 says she is not going to date a man if he does not want sex and you reply;
" It is now clear that you are a type that would also give in to sex before love."
it shows you think the same way as these girls.
The main point of my post stated that a girl should not consider sex as something she needs to give to a man, to "bind him" or for whatever other reason she may have. Why would she need to bind him? If a girl has sex with a man to bind him she is stupid, if
she is not sexually attracted to him she should not be having sex with him.
We need to move away from attitudes such as women giving themselves to men, binding men, offering their bodies to men
When we talk about sex women should be using
words such as "share", "enjoy" , "mutual fulfilment",
If a girl has this kind of attitude towards sex that you mentioned she will never fully enjoy sex. If girls consider sex as something they have to give to men and at the best they will enjoy it a little they are completely misunderstanding the concepts of sex
and love and are probably still not sexually liberated or confident with the fact that they themselves are sexually active human beings who have a right to expect and enjoy sex. But most importantly that sex is an activity between two individuals who like
or love each other in which both parties "share"
It is certainly not about a woman "offering" or "giving" and a man "getting" or "taking"
I am totally different from what you think of me. In any case if a girl advanced greatly with sexual motives, the more often she comes the more i might end up losing interest in her. Unless when she is very tactical. Sex to me is not that important. The most
important thing to me is having that strong bond that involves who we are to each other, and understanding each other. I am a LION, and i did not put this picture for no good reason. It is symbolic of my character somehow. LIONS are patient and will always
wait for the LIONESS to be ready for sex. They never force, and are very loving animals. All in all, i am not a sex maniac myself, and i do not think it is the epitome of good love.
True, but a Lion (male) is an incredibly lazy animal. Has many lovers at the same time, if one doesn't want sex there is bound to be another that does. And said lovers are the ones that do all the work for the male lion. (raise kids, get food etc...)
Do these aspects describe your character as well? I'm not saying they do, just curious :P
I make a quotation of what i wrote Mr, "It is symbolic of my character somehow." Does that make any sense? I am an African and i know African LIONS are never lazy. If you watch the way they care for others, you can be surprised. They hunt and protect the whole
pack. Is'nt that being a great job on top of caring for the female?
billions years ago the first liiving did not need a sex to repopulate the earth, they were monads, so in my opinion , the creature on the earth only need sex because they have decided they have wanted a way to show their emotion called a love.
I will not invest in anything unless I test it first. Explore, see what it is about. Will you buy a cow without tasting the milk? Buy a car without driving it first? A lover is even more important than the above two examples and you will end up giving
more energy to him/her over your lifetime, so you better know whats up.....
I prefer the feeling of love first because sex without love feels empty. It is missing something. I have actually felt very strongly for a woman before sex, but I am not sure if it was love I felt. However, after sex that feeling was compounded into something
much stronger. I was sure at least what I knew thus far was good enough for me to invest more effort and time into exploring her more deeply...
There are actually chemicals released in both females and males during sex that make you "love" more. did you know this? Interesting huh?