Discussion » Nonsense » love?is there such a thing?illusion?

  • Candy Q
    Candy Q wrote:

    How many of you guys still have faith in LOVE?

    What about MARRIAGE?

    When we are 20, we can live just for NOW.

    Is it true that everybody has to get realistic sooner or later?


  • Webslave
    Webslave wrote:

    all loss is real

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)


    I wrote a long comment, and then I decided to just answer your questions:

    1. yes
    2. yes
    3. it depends on what you mean by "realistic" .. you said it as if it is a bad thing, when it is not necesary the case

  • Candy Q
    Candy Q wrote:



    还是你觉得 it's always somewhere out there?


  • Man TianFei
    Man TianFei wrote:
    I still have confidence about love If playing tired,if feel free is boring, if i meet a guy have the same feeling with me,i will marry. we can live in accordance with ours wish.
  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:

    1, yes for sure

    2, actually I doubt the existence of marriage, so...there is nothing to do abt believe it or not for me.

    3, what do you mean "realistic", so vague...

  • Webslave
    Webslave wrote:

    1. of course i do have faith in love, but it doesnt mean that i dont need to do anything and just wait for the magic happens.

    2. only with the one i can spend the whole life with, no matter what, and that requires love.

    The NOW is the cradle of the future what ever you seed today you will have to harvest it's fruit, if you want or not.

    3. One should therefor at least be honest enough to oneself and be realistic about that.

    i m sure that i will say the magic words "yes i do" to the right one! And that is not mean to be good "ok let's try it" intentions but promises for a life time.

    to be honest, what is "true" love? how do you tell you love someone? how do you tell that is the one? how can you be sure that things wont changes in the bi-directional love? But before you go get married, you will have to at least answer one question for youself and that is the one where you will answer "yes i do" to on the marriage altar.

    不是所有的婚姻都是真爱,不是所有的真爱都能终成眷属,但每个人都会遇到那个命中注定的人,问题是你是否能够珍惜,否则你只有在总结一生的时候才能明白到底哪个才是 the right one...

  • Marty
    Marty wrote:

    Honestly i believe in this day and age the word love is used to carelessly and bares different meanings to different people.. some people do not even know how to love or the meaning of the word.. some people have their own beliefs of what love truely is.. so if someone says i love you to you its hard to know what they truely believe love to be.. you yourself may have your own belief of what love is.. all in all.. who's to say whats right... it just comes down to personal opinion and beliefs.. someone who has been broken hearted before may have had time to contemplate what true love is..  but in the end.. its what conclusions they had come to which makes their definition of love theirs and not the same as the person sittin next to them... marriage on the other hand.. well thats fast becoming an old fashioned custom.. with most marriages ending in divorce anyway.. thus coming back to individual belief of what love really is and having "expectations" which would inevitably make or break the marriage.. we all must be open minded realists from the very begining.. some say ignorace is bliss... but i think it just shows how narrow minded and just plain stupid a person can be..

  • Webslave
    Webslave wrote:

    Well, Sheryl, if you see life as a gamble, then your starting point is already different than mine. And Marty is right, it depends on individual point of view and the resulting belief among that.

    I see life as an journey, you may cross the path of many other travelers and pass by many different places, facing many crossroads. Eventually you will come to the place where you want to settle down, eventually you will meet the one with whom you'd like to go along and move on hand in hand. Sure it's hard to tell where it leads to but it is always your own decision when to grab the other one's hand and when to let go.


  • NN
    NN wrote:

    hard to find it,that is the true

  • Peter Baird
    Peter Baird wrote:

    Do I believe in love? Sure. Do I believe in lasting love? Not really. Possible for some I suppose, but it's a rare thing. Most long term couples stick together because they've grown used to each other and are afraid to be alone.

     I actually read a really interesting book years back (forget what it is called) that said love was nothing more than chemicals in your brain. But after a certain ammount of time with that person (five years or so) those chemicals quit firing off and you lose all interest.

     Real, lasting love is found by meeting someone who can be both your lover and best friend. But if you don't grow together, it won't last.



  • Olive Zhu
    Olive Zhu wrote:

    I still believe in true love and i still have that chemical things in my mind and my body ;) it is not difficult to fall in love and to say that i love you, but the most difficult thing is how to maintain and keep it fresh. It is almost an Impossible Mission as far as i know. The other thing is are people confident enough to admit that when she or he is fall in love? The truth is most of the people are getting more selfish right now, people are afraid to be hurt, so they cover themselves, they are afraid to show their loves.Protect ourselves is much more important than love someone else. Is that right?

  • Janet Peng
    Janet Peng wrote:


    So classical. That is so true. You will probably married a guy you do not really love due to realistic reasons. And you may be forced to give up your real love when nothing you can do. But would we just not believe in love any more because of bad experiences or surrender to reality? No way!  So yes, I am a loyal adherent to love.

    Marriage is a totally different issue.It is very important for one's life. I used to believe in marriage. But the more I experienced, the more different  I see marriage. It is the thing that loved couple prefer to do in order to give each other a life long promise. But a great number of people now don't really practice it that way. When marriage doesn't mean love any more, why must we get married? To keep love fresh and realistic, why cant we just live together?

    The modern opinion is to live for now. Yesterday was history, tomorrow is mystery, only today is what you can hold in hand. Then go ahead to enjoy your life.

  • 微笑的Min
    微笑的Min wrote:


  • Jem Lim
    Jem Lim wrote:

    i wasn't fully aware how many young people have already lost faith in finding true love. the truth is, most of us had to go through numerous painstaking events, heartbreaks and what-nots before we realize that we need to take a break from love.

    sad, but it is from these losses we learn. and from these learnings, we start our lives brand new. i never, for a moment doubted that someone out there is waiting, and i did get my shot of luck (of all places, beijing) :)

    all i'm saying is, don't find love and let love find you. things will happen in its own time. worry about the future, and linger the joys at hand. the miracle of life happens everyday and who knows what tomorrow brings.

    good luck with your hunt fellas!


  • Webslave
    Webslave wrote:


    well, i see your point, only agree halfways, actively choosing a path with a good estimation according to your experiences and interests is not as blind as gamble (if you knew too much about the range of the result of a choice im gamble would be cheating), the difference is the procentual range from estimation to real result. By gamble you'd basically know nothing.

    Not so sure about brain chemicals lasting 5 years, but makes sense according to the famous "7 years itch". Anyway, still love is love, not only best-friendship or familihood. There is a lot truth in growing together which i understand as be willing to go along with the one you love, even it heads to a different direction than one is interested in.

    The best example is mom and dad, i have been discusting about this topic with many friends and a lot of times many say that my mom and dad were lucky that they found each other. They wend along hand in hand, where ever it led to, til death did them part. They even grew together during the hardest years being seperated for 3 years out of reach except for letters once some weeks.

    what lasted between them (and still today in my mom's heart, after 14 years of dad's past-away!) wasnt only habit of being together. And it wasnt even the belief in each other (that was rather required at bad times but not for the major part of daily life), it was long lasting love. I wittnessed it with my own insights of things and that is very beautiful. And also very natural.

    ps.> dad got enjailed for months before and after they got married! (臭老九被发落乡下去喂猪!), that was the time where mom got to belief in dad for the hardest, much worse then the 3 years while dad was aboard for research jobs...

  • Peter S 李贝勒
    Beatles said all u need is love, all u need is love all u need is loooove LOVE is all u need ;-) ... clear, and so good...
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)


    Love is sacrifice, love is about giving ... when you love someone, you will think about what needs to be done to make him/her happy, though it might not necessarily be all the time ... love should also be unconditional, reality says otherwise ...

    On the other hand, marriage is just a path or a relationship (preferably legal), not just about "love". We have all seen and heard failed marriages that ended in divorce, as well as marriages that exist but the couple dont have any feeling (not even hatred, imagine that) for each other. Some people married for love, but the vast majority married for all kinds of reasons, e.g. money ...

    Have I stretched too far again? Perhaps time to cook dinner ...


  • NN
    NN wrote:

    叮当 叮叮当当 我来给你捧捧场

    虽然只是作为一个观看者 :)

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