"having" rather sounds like receiving, thus passive and "making" sounds more like being active by your own.
"having sex" sounds rather dis-interested like having dinner or something else, not too exciting, also maybe because it's passive sounding nature. Not always WYSIWYG. It hints rather on the taking, take what ever comes.
"making love" sounds far more exciting, it lies in your hands, also making love would also hint that you have to build a thing could love on zero ground (sounds a bit stupid if those involved in the same session are actually already in love with eachother,
one could pull out the question "why making love? is our love gone or what?!" :). Thus, it is a giving act. Dont wait for the love season to come eventually when and then, go and make the heart blossom happen, now! DIY (Y = yourselves ;), reach out and create
the unification of body, mind and soul. That's the message.
make love, not war. have sex, relax!
i guess, subcouciously, i would use the term "make love" to the one i love and have sex with and to others, when speaking of the sexual act i would rather use the more neutrual term "have sex", which means, if love is involved then it is "make love", if
not then rather "have sex". Maybe "making love" is also an slightly higher level of "having sex" or adds a special meaning to it, thus "make love" falls under the bigger range of "have sex".
my first choice definately is to "make love", i have been in a ongoing "having sex"-relationship before, even if i was the giving and serving one, that was not "love making", rather like "make her cum". There has never been the melding point of bodies and
souls at all. Taking that to account, i guess i had more "having sex" than "love making" but i really fency more "love making" and therefor never want to go into sexual acts without love, the pleasure does not work for me. Of cause, i love myself too, if there
is nobody i can "make love" with, DIY in the end still is DIY ;p