Hell Holidays

Posted by Pete DeMola on 1. Jul 2010

BEIJING, JULY 1 - Now that the academic semester is over and the streets are flooded with relieved students (and ESL teachers looking for their next paycheck), the summer has officially begun in all of it's wretched, sweltering, stinking-mass-of-humanity glory.


Those of us who earn a disposable income are probably going to celebrate by traveling across this Great and Harmonious Land, dreams of discovery and vision quests firmly entrenched in our liberated minds.

However, travel plans almost never work out the way that you want them to.

You know it's true!

And we want you to tell us all about your experiences below.

The two users with the best horror stories will win a pair of tickets to a gig by Jurassic 5's DJ Nu-Mark on Sat, July 17 at Yugong Yishan.

While nothing extraordinarily-rotten (kidnapping, death threats, er, food poisoning) has happened to me during my treks across the United States, Europe and Asia, I'll share a few highlights to get you started:

London, 2004. I checked into a quaint Bed & Breakfast and discovered the next morning that my hosts were Jehovah's Witnesses. On the menu for the next two days: Fire, brimstone, Bible readings and threats of eternal hellfire alongside English Breakfast Tea.

Venice, 2004. While going on a beer run, I got lost in a freak snowstorm in the industrial sprawl of the Mainland and nearly caught hypothermia. After breaking into a funeral home to steal umbrellas, I returned soaking wet to my hotel three hours later only to find my crush object for the night shacked up with another chap.

Chincoteague Island, VA, 1988. In what was the crowning acheivement of my young life (and probably still is), I found a very large sand dollar on the beach, but one of the Parential Units broke it. Worst vacation ever.

Thanks, Mom.

We'll announce the winners on Mon, July 12. Good luck!

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