Discussion » Nonsense » Help my sister

  • Liza
    Liza wrote:

    My sister who is several yrs older than me. She got married last year.

    before marriage, she told me she was not satisified with her BF( now hubby), bacause he is very boring, they seldom exchange, he pays too much attention to work, and they do not have anyhing in common, and has no sense of careing bla bla,

    I tried to persuade her not to marry in a hurry but she said she didnot want to end the relation, bacause they have spent 7 years together, and the guy has a good job, he has a nice temper bla bla and it is hard to find someone suitable and their parents are pushing them to get married,

    And finally, they married, maybe one yr ago.

    But now I was told she has fallen in love with someone else. She told me her lover is a foreign divorced guy. he is 8 or 7 yrs older than her, He has a 2-3 yrs old son (mixed-blood kid with a Chinese woman). She told me that guy has many things in common with ther.

    She felt happy with him, but she has no idea of how to develop further, coz her hubby is innocent and his parents are nice to her. and she also cannot face to our family and relatives...

    She is now suffering and dare not tell this to her friends around.

    I am her only relative in Beijing and the only one who could trust on.

    Now I am worried about her. I want her to live with Mr right and could be happy. but it is really a big decision, I do not know how to help her make a correct decision.

    What do you think? Any useful suggestion?

  • pommie
    pommie wrote:


  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)


    Hahahahaha ... 良禽择木 ... she is having an affair, and you want to help with what?

    I have seen my fair share of old Chinese movies as well as some Korean ones, the first suggestion came to mind would be for you to seduce your brother-in-law, then your sister would have an excuse to divorce him, and become happy with this other guy ...

  • Silje Linnerud

    OP, your sister gotta either fucking get divorced or end the affair. No matter what, she can't have them both. But once she gets divorced, she also gotta be prepared for the possibility that the new relationship doesn't end well. If she turns back to her husband, I don't think she would feel happier or find her peace anyway. I'd say, in such a situation, she is already doomed.

    Mudi, love is not trying, it never works that way. It is not something that you try then you can feel.

  • Simen Stensvoll

    "they do not have anyhing in common, and has no sense of careing ... bacause they have spent 7 years together, "

    im wondering how this ever worked

    ur sister has to face to herself,truely honestly to herself,regardless the hubby,the lover,the relatives,then she will know what she would do.

  • Simen Stensvoll

    i have learnt that life is a joke.

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    Question: Did your friend tell her secret lover her plan of getting divorced? huh? Because maybe she is building castles in the air with that guy.....

    Since my point of view, she should take the reins in her life. Yep, stop being a passive creature waiting for saviors, facing her problems on time and saying what she really wants.

  • Jonas Ekeli
    Jonas Ekeli wrote:

    whatever we say is meaningless, your frn is already doomed cos she will never forget her lover if she chooses to leave him, also she will never feel good about leaving her husband if she goes with divorce. the only possible solution I can come up with is letting her husband know, but by someone else instead of herself, and then it all depands on her husband, if he can accept her again, then he should try to figure out a way to win her back, but in most cases, I don't think he will.

    Anyway, can't say who's wrong in this situation, but when it happens, the choices are not longer in her hands. As her husband will find out sooner or later, it's better not to lie too long, so even if she can't be with either of them, she won't feel too guilty

  • Simen Wangberg





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  • Amber
    Amber wrote:

    she is the only one who takes every consequence because she is the only one who makes every decision, like that she suffers from the marriage she chose.

    there are less women in the world who can enjoy without pay off, and if the man loves her strongly enough, he , not u , can help her with everything.

  • Jonas Ekeli
    Jonas Ekeli wrote:

    Isidnar ,

    haha, you can't be more right on this, there wouldn't be any divorces if there were no marriages, that applies to everyone, good one

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    Sister is a stupid bitch. Foreign guy may or may not be divorced, but either way has no long term interest in sister. In China women marry for money and stability because those things are more important than anything else. Sister will not have money or stability if she leaves husband. Foreign guy is not stable (allegedly divorced) and probably not stupid enough to give her money.

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