The Onion is not and has never been funny.
Reason 1: There is enough laughably ironic, trolly and lulzworthy news anywhere you look in "serious" publications.
Reason 2: The Onion, instead of taking a stance and contributing in at least some way, simply makes light of how fucked up the media is, how fucked up the readership is, how fucked up the political environment is and how fucked up the government is.
That shit isn't funny, it's depressing!!
Oh my god I wish he could do that. One nation under Clinton. He is magic.