Discussion » Nonsense » what if your parents doesn't agree your decision a

  • Lily
    Lily wrote:
    <p>like study abroad, marriage attitude,the way how you spend your life. your parents and family totally disagree with you, and get mad at your decision.what you guys would do?</p>
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahahaha ... I think it is safe to guess that majority of us have that kind of ”experience" ... "does not agree" can mean "against", but also "neutral", which one did you mean?

    If it is "against", being that my mother does have more life experience than me, she might have a point somewhere, so most of the time, I would listen first, and if it is indeed something I have mistaken or overlooked, I would listen more, or, I will try to explain to her that she might be wrong somewhere ...

    If it is "neutral", then I could actually get curious about that, and we would talk a bit more ...

  • Lily
    Lily wrote:

    definitely against. and your parents just want you to spend your life they want. definitely wrong lifestyle. no matter how you explain, they just go their own way,obviously communication is not a solution anymore.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    (continued) ... I hope my idea had helped you somehow, it is of course not a good thing to do, but it might be the best answer to your problem ... let me know how it goes :)

    ... and let's make a day for a date ... we owe each other, somehow ...

  • Fredrik Emil Kiran

    It sounds like how you make your clients to be satisfied with your work.

  • Lily
    Lily wrote:

    @Jérémie (jayjay), i think they just got the presure from their friends and the society, and then force me to follow the rules, they are good parents, just the problem is they think what i am doing is wrong. what i will do would not success. chinese ppl respect their parents and family a lot, and i don't want them feel sad and heart break as well.

  • Lily
    Lily wrote:

    @叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹) thanks for your suggestion, really appreciate that you care about my problem so much. i care about their feeling but i still want to be myself and do what i want. i am trying to balance my parents' feeling and my life. i will think about your suggestion these days. make a long term plan.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    (continued) ... dont thank me yet, because if you are not careful, this might get you into even more trouble ...

  • Lily
    Lily wrote:

    @Jérémie (jayjay) i love my parents,if they didn't get the presure from the society, they will stand on my side i think, i have always made the decisions about my own life since when i was a kid, or even my parents listen to my opinion about our family's big decisions. but since they got the presure from the social rules, they just begin to push me. but on the other hand, i am scared about the unknown too, sometimes when you not sure about what you want is right or not , or will success or not. just feel confusing a little. might not so confident when argue with parents life experience

  • Lily
    Lily wrote:

    @ 卫三下三尺 yes, they even said they would not talk to me if i insist on my point . which is bad because i don't want to hurt them

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    .。。。

    (continued) ...

    After all, they only want what's best (what they believe would be the best option) for you.

  • Mya In
    Mya In wrote:

    Acept it, change it, leave it.

  • Lily
    Lily wrote:

    @Kryseg they don't think i am a baby,conversely, i always make decision about our family, like buying a house, doing some business, they think i am too independent and stubborn, so different from my classmates and same age person in my hometown.

  • Fabian Kollen
    Fabian Kollen wrote:

    don't be so gay, dingdang. grow up...

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahahaha ... are you saying that "being gay" is a sign of "not growing up"?

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    I suppose you already got your economic independence. So, now as @Lao Lee said, you only have to talk with them, althought I would say negotiate with them.

    For the youths, maturing is a process of developing. For the parents, maturing of their sons and daughters is a sort of break up. They have to learn how to handle with it and overcome that break up... not -us- anymore, just -you- and -me-.

    Althought, this situation becomes pretty hard when some parents confuse respect with servilism

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    Listen to Killing in the Name at high volume.

  • Peter S 李贝勒

    Parents should advicing or helping u to take a decision but in any case, never choose for u...

  • Christian Jacques, Photography

    Cannot agree more than with Jeremie :

    "Do what you want to do!" " if they are good parents they will support you "

    It is your life, not their life, times have changed !

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    。。。

    Hahahahahaha ... this is in fact a classic example of how the East might be VERY different from the West ...

    ... and just for that little bit of irrelevance ...

    It was most likely that because of most of what you guys have said (and believed), some of the Chinese girls (no, I was not referring to Lily, because I know so) were led to believe that "going West" (or, "marrying West") might take them away from the tradition ...

    People ... whether you live here, or go West, as long as you are Chinese, or associated with Chinese, the tradition will linger, whether you like (accept) it or not ... I know I dont like some of it, but it is part of me ...

  • Reply from Patrick Coleman is flagged as not relevant.

  • Lily
    Lily wrote:

    what a "great" suggestion~~~

    Art D wrote: try suicide, believe me they will regret.

  • Lily
    Lily wrote:

    @Jonathan yest, that's how chinese leftovers got the pressure from their families, i have a lot of friends who got married not because they love each other, only because they think they should do that. that's pethetic.

  • Reply from 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹) is flagged as not relevant.

  • stop
    stop wrote:

    my mom was totally against almost all the choices i made.i always speak out the real way of thinking...(by real way of thinking i mean...when she force me to find someone and get married,i told her i will marry a guy 80 years old if she push me again) at first it may cruel,but they have to know what we really think,then decide to against or not.the result is...we kept on fighting for years...but,we both get to know each other more.now,she is still try to "bend me over"and i still following my own decision...but we know how to handle it, we compromised and compensated each other by using other ways.everyone can change including the most stubborn one,but if they never know how you really think,they will never change.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    (continued) ...

    my mom was totally against almost all the choices i made.i always speak out the real way of thinking

    Hahahahaha ... and I have been married to one of those for 8+ years already ...

  • Lily
    Lily wrote:

    @Secret Garden, nothing about the economical independent, i almost afford some of my family's spend for several years.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    。。。

    (continued) ... Garden ... you are guessing too much ...

    Liam, I was actually thinking about the Bon Jovi song ...

    [embed]http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjIxNDk5MDg4.html[/embed]

  • Lily
    Lily wrote:

    @Liam (李安) thanks for the vidio, sweet old times

  • Lily
    Lily wrote:

    @叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹): sounds like that song is not for parents.. =)

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahahahaha ... glad to see someone think the same ... I have been told that I look a bit like Bon Jovi, I just need a bike and black leather jacket ... and lose about 50% of my weight ...

  • Lynn
    Lynn wrote:

    life is too short to live in someone else's dream. parents always sayim doing this blah blah because i just want the best for you sure, it could be true, but what they want may not BE the best for you. people should grow up and live their own life. maybe parents say: we are your parents and we know you the most. but we know ourselves better than our parents do. afterall, its your first time to be a child, and its their first time to be parents. they do NOT know better. so the principle here is, when im gonna die, i want to say, i have always did the thing i wanted, no matter the consequences were good or bad, i have always lived for myself and not as a result of someone else's failure. do the things you like, live the way you like it. failure is as much valuable as success. nothing is more like a torture than lose control over ur own life

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