Discussion » Dating & Romance » Should I tell my mum

  • Coco
    Coco wrote:
    <p>In few days I’ll go home to meet my mum; most people are happy going back home during the spring festival; to be part of the rush, to be in the crowded buses or train, to meet old friends and well-wishers; but the truth is that at this time every year, I am most unhappy. </p> <p>How to face my mum, how to answer the same question all over again; the question of where’s your boyfriend, where’s your fiancé, where’s your husband, when will you give me a grandchild. How to tell my mum the lingering question in my heart that I have no feelings for men; I am a lesbian.</p> <p>Should I tell my mum this secret or find another white lie? How to tell her? Someone please help</p> <p><strong>Plz note: the profile picture is a reference .. not me.</strong></p>
  • Pavoir Sponse
    Pavoir Sponse wrote:

    Take a girl, with very short hair, home with you for CNY and tell your mother it is your 'friend,' she'll work it out....

    This thread is going to go nuts!

  • Simen Wangberg

    "I am lesbian now. Because China too many people."

    It's that easy.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    。。。

    Hahahaha ... so, what is the actual dilemma? The fact that you are a lesbian or there's no suitor? I am quite sure that if all they want is a grandchild, you can think of something ...

    However, there are many hurdles (difficulties, challenges) faced by single mother in China, and also for the child, and we have gone through a number of discussions here, and many other forums ... which brought us back to the "suitor" issue ...

    It is not unheard of, for parents shutting off their son, for years or as long as forever, after finding out that he is gay, but somehow, I think lesbians have it a bit easier ...

    My suggestion: just be direct and honest ... because to live a lie, whether you might choose to marry a man for the purpose of making your parents happy, or continue dragging the situation ... is going to hurt ...

  • Pavoir Sponse
    Pavoir Sponse wrote:

    that is what i mean Coco. Make her suspicious, not so much that you are a lesbian, but more that you are a criminal mastermind...

    Seriously good luck, I know what you are going through must be difficult. I have often felt a lesbian myself...

  • Mari Vidste
    Mari Vidste wrote:

    alt text Given OP's fear about telling her, I think it's pretty obvious 'mum' is not liberal on this issue. Show me a lesbian-loving Chinese mom and I'll show you an obese Ethiopian farmer.

    The key here is to go postmodern. Tell your mom you're having strange feelings for girls, that when you masturbate you have fantasies of girls riding your huge black cawk, that you have been browsing strap-on dildos on taobao and googling 'fuzz bumping.' You might also mention your addiction to Japanese amateur lesbian porn.

    And then say you know these feelings and urges are wrong and that you want to speak to a professional about it. This way when you're not cured, it's the psychiatrist's fault, not yours. This sort of blame-shifting will correlate perfectly with your mom's denial psychology.

    If this doesn't work, just kill your parents. And if you also have grandparents or aunts and uncles that will give you shit about being a disgusting fat lemon squeezer, just kill them too. But be careful. As the body count mounts, so do the opportunities for error. Use poison, wear a dick mask, and always dissolve the bodies in an acid bath.

  • Pavoir Sponse
    Pavoir Sponse wrote:

    A bit squidgy.

    Anyway I renege on my comments. 柯南 plan is clearly the way to go.

    I'm off to google 'fuzz bumping'...

  • Pavoir Sponse
    Pavoir Sponse wrote:

    mmm, forty two and a half million hits...

  • Simen Wangberg

    "You can even choose the color of your baby and try a nice half-breed."

    True. Mix baby vely beautiful.

    LESBAINS.

    Just adopt a baby, there's like a shitload in China. Of babies.

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    Grab the bull by its horns,

    Say to her, Mum, I´m lesbian, but the most important is that i gain plenty of money in Beijing (at least more than you), so if you wanna I take care of you now and in the future, shut the fuck up and respect me (bitch!-this optional).

    Chinese close minded always understand the difference bewteen less and more yuan pretty well

  • DonkeyTonk
    DonkeyTonk wrote:

    Tell your mum you're a lezza but you haven't ruled out kids yet.

  • High Priest
    High Priest wrote:

    How long have u discovered that u r a lezza? Talk to your mom, it's choice ur've made and u've got to face it. I thought u were enjoying huge Coco.

    Otherwiser, get the advice given to you by Godfather. Our doors are widely open.

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    I've been thinking about renting myself to lesbians and leftover women to act as a boyfriend/fiancee to placate pushy parents, because I am determined to convert my inability to speak Chinese into some sort of advantage.

    Is there a market for this? Who wouldn't like duck during Spring Festival?

    I'd toss in a turkey baster, but a certain vice for which I am notorious has drastically reduced my sperm count.

  • Saint - Spartacus

    @ 单独子儿 (随便叫兽) , you are far to be a toyboy ... ... but i think it will have big market to build a marriage agency for international relationship, it's may as hot as facebook right ?

    BTW, i remember my mum told me ,u can do everything u want except be a lesbien . lol, she 's so afraid ...

  • Ajantha Manohar

    How long have u discovered that u r a lezza? Talk to your mom, it's choice ur've made and u've got to face it. I thought u were enjoying huge Coco.

    Otherwiser, get the advice given to you by Godfather. Our doors are widely open.

    High Priest, how a Kiddy Fucker like you can say he has a redemption camp in his church? Welcome to the High Priest´s Rape Camp!

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    @Saintro:

    @ 单独子儿 (随便叫兽) , you are far to be a toyboy ... ... but i think it will have big market to build a marriage agency for international relationship, it's may as hot as facebook right ?

    You wound me! I know I'm rough around the edges, but I clean up nicely. Also, I do that cute table tap bowing gesture when receiving tea. The parents will think it's adorable.

    BTW, i remember my mum told me ,u can do everything u want except be a lesbien . lol, she 's so afraid ...

    I think my mother was disappointed that I didn't turn out to be gay. When I look back at my childhood there is much evidence that I was groomed to become some sort of emblem of enlightened modern liberal child-rearing and unconditional love & acceptance. I think she yearns to say "I'm proud of my gay son," to her co-workers.

    Instead I ended up more a fuzzy nymphomaniac bulldyke chick-with-dick.

    How d'ya like me now, ma?

  • Yanni
    Yanni wrote:

    姥姥,你就是换了几层皮我们也能把你认出来...这就叫狗改不了...

  • Dominik
    Dominik wrote:

    the only thing remotely interesting about this thread is the supergirl wonder woman make out scene posted by ophelia....

  • Dominik
    Dominik wrote:

    lol

  • Dominik
    Dominik wrote:

    i didnt want to say anything but i think i should:

    In all honesty sometimes you need to sacrifice part of your comfortzone to become the person you want to be. i know its hard for you and i know from experience how rather unforgiving chinese parents(parents in general) might seem but if i were you i would rather risk creating a rift between you and your parents then to live a lie. the amount of unhappiness that you bottle up inside you will eventually make you sick, physically, emotionally, mentally... nobody wants that for you, from a chinese perspective its better to be gay then mentally disturbed. none of is unnatural though and this is something china has to understand, has to learn to perceive as a reality. people are different and i am sure that if you tell your mum the truth she might be angry, sad and full of other negative emotions but once that has worn off she will go into a phase of acceptance and i am also sure that she loves you. she will deal with it one way or the other..

  • Mari Vidste
    Mari Vidste wrote:

    So the only thing interesting about this thread is the cartoon chick-superhero make-out image and then you puke out this pile of emo-drool? Thanks a lot, Dr Phil. Are ya SURE that her mommy loves her? Are ya SURE that "people are different"? Oh, you are so interesting, dude. Are ya CONFIDENT that a "phase of acceptance" will come? Will she "deal with it"? Really?

    i didnt want to say anything but i think i should:

    No, you shouldn't.

  • Dominik
    Dominik wrote:

    its not emo drool dickwad, common sense. my friends cousin is a homosexual chinese male and he didnt come out for a long time but one day he did. his parents had no choice but to accept it.

    that said, since you assume her parents dont respect her at all, what would it matter if she told them the truth? like i said early on its better to come clean for your own sake and not for somebody elses, i have seen people beating themselves up just to please others around them. how long is that charade gonna last? when she is in her 20s she might get away with hiding her true self but what happens when she hits the mid 30s and her parents ask her the same uncomfortable questions again(by that point they have been doing this for a while). there is going to be a hiatus of some form or another anyway.

  • №❶ Passioη

    If you were a hardcore lesbian as you describe, your mum would have noticed it while you were growing up. This means you're just a 'wanna be' (fake) lesbian.

    That being said, wouldn't you prefer to be straightened up in a few days process, then tell mum a positive truth!

    Sounds like this is what you NEED

  • Dominik
    Dominik wrote:

    exactly...if her parents dont give a rats ass about her why does she visit them anyhow? to be honest this a very private thing to discuss dont know if this is the right place to talk about it.

Please login to post a reply to this thread.

WeLiveInBeijing

WeLiveInBeijing.com is a social community for people living in or traveling to Beijing.

Powered by: Bloc