Discussion » All non BJ languages » I'll never complain about the Chinese language

  • 外交猫
    外交猫 wrote:
    <p>If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.</p> <p>After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.</p> <p>Dearest creature in creation,</p> <p>Study English pronunciation.</p> <p>I will teach you in my verse</p> <p>Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.</p> <p>I will keep you, Suzy, busy,</p> <p>Make your head with heat grow dizzy.</p> <p>Tear in eye, your dress will tear.</p> <p>So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.</p> <p>Just compare heart, beard, and heard,</p> <p>Dies and diet, lord and word,</p> <p>Sword and sward, retain and Britain.</p> <p>(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)</p> <p>Now I surely will not plague you</p> <p>With such words as plaque and ague.</p> <p>But be careful how you speak:</p> <p>Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;</p> <p>Cloven, oven, how and low,</p> <p>Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.</p> <p>Hear me say, devoid of trickery,</p> <p>Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,</p> <p>Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,</p> <p>Exiles, similes, and reviles;</p> <p>Scholar, vicar, and cigar,</p> <p>Solar, mica, war and far;</p> <p>One, anemone, Balmoral,</p> <p>Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;</p> <p>Gertrude, German, wind and mind,</p> <p>Scene, Melpomene, mankind.</p> <p>Billet does not rhyme with ballet,</p> <p>Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.</p> <p>Blood and flood are not like food,</p> <p>Nor is mould like should and would.</p> <p>Viscous, viscount, load and broad,</p> <p>Toward, to forward, to reward.</p> <p>And your pronunciation’s OK</p> <p>When you correctly say croquet,</p> <p>Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,</p> <p>Friend and fiend, alive and live.</p> <p>Ivy, privy, famous; clamour</p> <p>And enamour rhyme with hammer.</p> <p>River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,</p> <p>Doll and roll and some and home.</p> <p>Stranger does not rhyme with anger,</p> <p>Neither does devour with clangour.</p> <p>Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,</p> <p>Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,</p> <p>Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,</p> <p>And then singer, ginger, linger,</p> <p>Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,</p> <p>Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.</p> <p>Query does not rhyme with very,</p> <p>Nor does fury sound like bury.</p> <p>Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.</p> <p>Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.</p> <p>Though the differences seem little,</p> <p>We say actual but victual.</p> <p>Refer does not rhyme with deafer.</p> <p>Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.</p> <p>Mint, pint, senate and sedate;</p> <p>Dull, bull, and George ate late.</p> <p>Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,</p> <p>Science, conscience, scientific.</p> <p>Liberty, library, heave and heaven,</p> <p>Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.</p> <p>We say hallowed, but allowed,</p> <p>People, leopard, towed, but vowed.</p> <p>Mark the differences, moreover,</p> <p>Between mover, cover, clover;</p> <p>Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,</p> <p>Chalice, but police and lice;</p> <p>Camel, constable, unstable,</p> <p>Principle, disciple, label.</p> <p>Petal, panel, and canal,</p> <p>Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.</p> <p>Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,</p> <p>Senator, spectator, mayor.</p> <p>Tour, but our and succour, four.</p> <p>Gas, alas, and Arkansas.</p> <p>Sea, idea, Korea, area,</p> <p>Psalm, Maria, but malaria.</p> <p>Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.</p> <p>Doctrine, turpentine, marine.</p> <p>Compare alien with Italian,</p> <p>Dandelion and battalion.</p> <p>Sally with ally, yea, ye,</p> <p>Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.</p> <p>Say aver, but ever, fever,</p> <p>Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.</p> <p>Heron, granary, canary.</p> <p>Crevice and device and aerie.</p> <p>Face, but preface, not efface.</p> <p>Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.</p> <p>Large, but target, gin, give, verging,</p> <p>Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.</p> <p>Ear, but earn and wear and tear</p> <p>Do not rhyme with here but ere.</p> <p>Seven is right, but so is even,</p> <p>Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,</p> <p>Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,</p> <p>Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.</p> <p>Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)</p> <p>Is a paling stout and spikey?</p> <p>Won’t it make you lose your wits,</p> <p>Writing groats and saying grits?</p> <p>It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:</p> <p>Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,</p> <p>Islington and Isle of Wight,</p> <p>Housewife, verdict and indict.</p> <p>Finally, which rhymes with enough,</p> <p>Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?</p> <p>Hiccough has the sound of cup.</p> <p>My advice is to give up!</p>
  • 外交猫
    外交猫 wrote:

    Great. An advertisement. Just what I was hoping for.

  • Marte Hauglund Østli

    "on the country, Chinese character is easy."

    Love it!

  • Mari Vidste
    Mari Vidste wrote:

    I haven't heard @Petebot try to speak Chinese but I guarantee it would make me want to punch butterflies.

Please login to post a reply to this thread.


WeLiveInBeijing.com is a social community for people living in or traveling to Beijing.

Powered by: Bloc