Discussion » Nonsense » My New Primary Care Physician

  • Death
    Death wrote:
    <p><img src="http://img.dl.e.weliveinchina.com/_tempimages/_outimages/536/c68d7b7938354a26a27bbf4a3d463ea0.jpg" alt="alt text" /></p> <p>Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.</p> <p>Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?<br /> A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!</p> <p>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.</p> <p>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good! </p> <p>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?<br /> A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?</p> <p>Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach. </p> <p>Q: Is chocolate bad for me?<br /> A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!</p> <p>Q: Is swimming good for your figure?<br /> A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.</p> <p>Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?<br /> A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!</p> <p>Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.</p>
  • Brenda Liu
    Brenda Liu wrote:

    Good news ^0^

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    mmm.... I remember that Dohko, the mentor of Shiryū (saint seya), only breaths one time each year, for this reason he looks very wrinkled and.... purple?!? but in this way he extends his life, he is fucking old !!!

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    @Secret Garden, your comment reminds me something about the John Burgess´s biography

    [....] About this time (1959) Burgess collapsed in a Brunei classroom while teaching history and was diagnosed as having an inoperable brain tumour. Burgess was given just a year to live, prompting him to write several novels to get money to provide for his widow...... [...] he died in 1993 (lung cancer).

    the power of creative activity???

  • Mari Vidste
    Mari Vidste wrote:

    the power of creative activity???

    No, just a wrong diagnosis. And that was Anthony Burgess, whose A Clockwork Orange is real horrorshow.

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    柯南, Ohh was just a wrong diagnosis :/ I liked the idea of a man that knows about that the Death is coming to him, and he decides work hard and get money to provide for his wife after his death. But in the end, the death never comes...

    now my world has less magic, thank you :P

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