Discussion » Art & Design » 小清新还是重口味

  • A.w
  • Father Of Boring

    A graduate student in Australia is doing research for his thesis on sexual behavior.  Knowing that Australian farmers have a reputation for fucking their sheep, he decides this is a good subject, gets his clipboard, and goes out to conduct his research.

    At the first farmer's house, he goes up and asks, "Hello, I'm doing research for a study on sexual behavior in rural Australia.  I'd like to ask you a few questions."  The farmer takes a swig off his Molson, belches in the grad student's face, and says, "Ok, go for it, I'm drunk enough not to care."  The grad student says, "Ok, first question is, do you have sex with your sheep?"  The first farmer says, "Yessir I do."  The grad student marks down a yes.  Then the he asks the farmer, "Well, then, HOW do you fuck your sheep."  The farmer says, "Well, you just put a carrot or something sweet on the ground near the ewe, wait until she starts eating it, then you sneak right up behind her and grab her, and just start pumping away!"

    At the second farmer's house, he goes up and asks, "Hello, I'm doing research for a study on sexual behavior in rural Australia.  I'd like to ask you a few questions."  The farmer takes a swig off his Beck's, belches in the grad student's face, and says, "Ok, go for it, I'm drunk enough not to care."  The grad student says, "Ok, first question is, do you have sex with your sheep?"  The second farmer says, "Yessir I do."  The grad student marks down a yes.  Then the he asks the farmer, "Well, then, HOW do you fuck your sheep."  The farmer says, "Well, you just put a sugar cube or something sweet on the ground near the ewe, wait until she starts eating it, then you sneak up behind her and grab her, and unzip, and pound at her 'til you're done!"

    And this is essentially the same answer he gets at every house, as well as a face full of beer breath from Budweiser, Tsingdao, Carlsberg, Corona, Stella, and god knows whatever else.

    But at one farmer's house, he goes up and asks, "Hello, I'm doing research for a study on sexual behavior in rural Australia.  I'd like to ask you a few questions."  The farmer takes a swig off his Nogne O Porter, belches in the grad student's face, and says, "Ok, go for it, I'm drunk enough not to care."  The grad student says, "Ok, first question is, do you have sex with your sheep?"  The farmer says, "Yessir I do."  The grad student marks down a yes.  Then the he asks the farmer, "Well, then, HOW do you fuck your sheep."  The farmer says, "Well, first, I go out to the barn and change the hay, then I light some strawberry-scented candles and lay out some fresh asparagus.  I put on some Marvin Gaye, then go out, take the ewe gently by the ear, whisper in her ear, and get her to follow me into the barn.  Then, I kiss it, lay it down on its back, caress it until it's ready, and very slowly, very gently, make sweet, delicious love to it."  The grad student says, "That's odd.  Most of the farmers I've talked to fuck their sheep, but they just go up and take them from behind.  Why do you do it like that?"  The farmer says, "I'm a romantic guy."

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