Discussion » Dating & Romance » Oversexed / Overvain

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    [...] For a narcissistic male, for instance, the sight of a woman may be sexually exciting because he is excited by the possibility of proving to himself how attractive he is. Or a sadistic person may be sexually excited by the chance to conquer a woman (or as the case may be, a man) and to control her or him. Many people are bound for years to each other emotionally just by this motive, especially when the sadism of one fits the masochism of other. It is rather well known that fame, power, and wealth makes its possesor sexually attractive if certain physical conditions are present. In all these instances the physical desire is mobilized by nonsexual passions which thus find their satisfaction. Indeed, it is anybody´s guess how many children owe their existence to vanity, sadism, and masochism, rather than to genuine physical attraction, not to speak of love. But people, especially men, prefer to think that they are ¨oversexed¨ rather than that they are ¨overvain¨  [...]

    From The anatomy of human destructiveness - Erich Fromm

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    @sth. hahaha witty !!  bien traído !! :P

  • Mengmeng
    Mengmeng wrote:

    For a layman, anatomy of psychological world is equivocal: you believe it, it is true for you, or else, it is not. I wonder how psychological analysis makes life better, it seems the more I know about it, the less I like human.

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    Fascinating shit, but what about the masochists?

  • Simen Wangberg

    Yeaaaahhhh.

    What if people just like doin' it?

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    @Mengmeng, psychological analysis can make us understand the creepy background of people like @Bedtyger or @Highpriest or @Dudu.... we can develop compasion towards them, instead pure hate XD

    @Dando, [...] The passive form of the symbiotic union is that of submission, or if we use a clinical term, of masochism. The masochistic person escapes from the unbearable feeling of isolation and separateness by making himself part and parcel of another person who directs him, guides him, protects him; who is his life and his oxygen, as it were. The power of the one to whom one submits is inflated, may he be a person or a god; he is everything, i am nothing, except inasmuch as i am part of him. As a part, i am part of greatness, of power, of certainty. The masochistic person does not have to make decisions, does not have to take any risks; he is never alone -but he is not independent; he has no integrity, he is not yet fully born. In a religious context the object of worship is called idol; in a secular context of masochistic love relationship the essential mechanism, that of idolatry, is the same. The masochistic relationship can be blended with physical, sexual desire; in this case it is not only a submission in which one´s mind participates, but also one´s whole body. There can be masochistic submission to fate, to sickness, to rhythmic music, to the orgiastic state produced by drugs or under hypnotic trance- in all these instances the person renounces his integrity, makes himself the instrument of somebody or something outside of himself; he need not solve the problem of living by productive activity. 

    The active form of symbiotic fusion is domination or, to use the psychological term corresponding to masochism, sadism. The sadistic person wants to escape from his aloneness and his sense of imprisonment by making another person part and parcel of himself. He inflates and enhances himself by incorporating another person, who worships him. The sadistic person is a dependent on the submissive person as the latter is on the former; neither can live without the other. The difference is only that the sadistic person commands, exploits, hurts, humiliates, and that masochistic person is commanded, exploited, hurt humiliated. This is a considerable difference in a realistic sense, in a deeper emotional sense, the difference is not so great as that which they both have in common: fusion without integrity. If one understands this, it is also not surprising to find usually a person reacts in both sadistic and masochistic manner, usually toward different objects. Hitler reacted primarily in a sadistic fashion toward people, but mashochistically toward fate, hisoty, the ¨higher power¨of nature. His end - suicide among general destruction- is as characteristic as was his dream of success - total domination. 

    more about that in Escape from Freedom... http://www.kat.ph/erich-fromm-e-books-t3187056.html

    @毛爷爷,  nothing happend, but call things by their right names, always is good, i think. 

  • Mengmeng
    Mengmeng wrote:

    Hum, what can compassion do to help changing the reality? Like, A is a creep, B is a psychologist, can B save A from his stupidity? There comes the first part of my comment: for layman, if they don't believe the theory at the first place, you can't convince them. Have anyone here made any improvement in those "creeps" mentioned?

    And sometimes when I read psychological research, I will find a monster in myself instead of developing compassion for others. In some way, I feel that psychology is like Pandora's box. It takes strong will to resist the magic it casts.

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