Discussion » Nonsense » If you're interested in coming to Australia here a

  • Death
    Death wrote:

     These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!)

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    Q: Does it ever get windy in   Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (   UK ).

    A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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    Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

    A:Depends how much you've been drinking.
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    Q:I want to walk from   Perth to   Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden)
     
    A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
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    Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in   Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane ,   Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK)

    A: What did your last slave die of?
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    Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in   Australia ? ( USA )

    A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of   Europe .
    Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
    ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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    Q:Which direction is North in   Australia ? (USA )

    A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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    Q: Can I bring cutlery into   Australia ? ( UK )
    A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
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    Q:Can you send me the   Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (   USA )

    A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is 
    Oh forget it. Sure, the   Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
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    Q: Can I wear high heels in   Australia ? ( UK )
    A: You are a British politician, right?
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    Q:Are there supermarkets in   Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

    A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
    Milk is illegal.
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    Q:Please send a list of all doctors in   Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
     
    A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
    All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
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    Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

    A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
    You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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    Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in   Australia ? (USA)
     
    A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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    Q:Do you celebrate Christmas in   Australia ? ( France )

    A: Only at Christmas.
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    Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

    A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first   

  • Jenny&King
    Jenny&King wrote:

    …………6^ darkness life need more lights?

  • Kevin Brekke
    Kevin Brekke wrote:

    awesome

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahahahaha ... I am fairly sure I did not have to do these questions then ... love the ones about kangaroo, slave and fountain of youth :)

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    (continued) ... no ... but FatLiveInAustralia.com is on the agenda ...

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    。。。

    (续)。。。哎,又换中文台?

    Ada,你真的要我一个一个的解释啊?

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahahaha ... Kyle ... you nor your name has never crossed my mind ... I was just saying that me and a friend of this site made plan to set up this site in Australia in the future ...

  • Jenny&King
    Jenny&King wrote:

    Good idea DD uncle   哈哈哈哈哈哈  中英双轨

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    。。。

    哈哈哈哈,每一句(或每一对问题和答案),都有它们自己的笑点!我现在马上要做饭的了,先给你翻译两个,看看你明不明白!要是不明白,我饭后再解释给你听(下面第二个,你应该不明白)!

    Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )
    A:Depends how much you've been drinking.

    (美国人)问:我会不会在街上看见袋鼠?
    答:那视乎你喝了多少!

    Q: Can I wear high heels in   Australia ? ( UK )
    A: You are a British politician, right?

    (英国人)问:我在澳洲可不可以穿高跟鞋?
    答:你是英国的政客,对嘛?

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