Discussion » Beijing Life » Should she forgive him?

  • Alesha
    Alesha wrote:

    She was really shocked  when she saw his bf was having sex in their bed with another woman when she arrived home after 3days business traveling. She couldn't believe what she has saw at that moment,tears gushed from her eyes...she run out of home with her broken heart,  still can't believe her beloved should betray her like this. She wanted to give him a surprise that arriving home ahead of 2days of  that business schedule, he promised that he will let her be happy forever.How come she deserve all of this,she left with tear , kept running in the street aimlessly,handful of anger and shock stuffed her chest. There was only one thought coming out of her mind...break up with him. He called her over and over again,she hesitated for a while and  finally answered .

    -"I don't know why you do that to me? if you don't love me anymore, why not just break up with me? " She cried out loud.

    -"I know hundreds of sorry is not enough to say right now , but that's just sex,nothing more,you know  I only love YOU.I promise it's the first and also the last time I do such stupid thing.I was out of my mind...believe me,plzzzzzz....

    He explained with trembled voice begging another chance, she hung up the phone without saying any word...she was confused and hesitated, they've been together for 3years and everything went all well,he promised he will let her be happy forever,they've already decided to marry next year...now she's really confused,haven't told her parents about this yet.

    Should she forgive him? Can he really be able to make a distinction between sex and love? 

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    So, what´s the deal offered? they can have sex with who they want. Or only the guy can have sex with others? They will explain to the future childs the deal of mom and daddy??

    *If she had not catched him,  had he told her the truth?

    *If only three years of relation make her able to put up with o to tolerate this, what 10 years or more will make her able to tolerate, huh?

    To earn the respect of the people, we begin with the respect to ourselves.

    To hell with him and his lame excuse!!! there are enough supply of men

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    I think I heard an insect buzzing. Nah, it must be my imagination.

    @OP, No. Fuck that loser. He's an asshole. He should have at least tested the waters first by suggesting an open relationship or a threesome. Had he just spoken about his perfectly natural and wholesome inclinations to fuck anything that moves straightforwardly with his girlfriend, then she might've anticipated this scenario, and she might not be so emotionally devastated. That it's a surprise to her means he is guilty of something much worse than carnal disloyalty, and that is dishonesty. 

    He's right, it's only sex; who cares where he puts his dick? The problem is he's a liar. Clear and distinct from our traditional notions of sexual fidelity is a far more important obligation to truth and authenticity, two qualities this relationship is sorely lacking.

    The woman is contemptible for her naivete alone.

    Both of these insipid individuals should be executed and turned into moron sausage, although we should be mindful to remove the nerve tissues so we don't contract transmissible spongiform encephalopathy.

  • Superzzy
    Superzzy wrote:


  • Petter Meisfjordskar

    He did it for the sake of the girlfriend. I am sure when having sex with the girlfriend, she cries, 'you are killing me'. So because he never wanted to kill her, he decided to kill another woman. Forgive him.

  • Simen Stensvoll

    thats really sad.

    yes,she should forgive and forget him.he is a coward and liar!  if he liked to fuck around,he'd better stay single,and it won't hurt anybody

    Can he really be able to make a distinction between sex and love?

    in my opinion,sex doesn't have much to do with love,if u were single.but when u are in love with someone,definitely its different.

    but i don't know why and how ppl can accept open relationship or marriage.

  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    Don't..! 一次不忠,百次不用。切记切记~

  • Ajantha Manohar

    @GF, Are you saying you would forgive your gf, If you find her with another guy in your bed ??

    you are a fucking cuckolded or a fucking hypocrite, choose one please

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    In terms of the relationshit ecology of BedTyger, GodFather, and High Priest, is anyone else reminded of of Dennis, Mac, and Frank from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? BedTyger has an inexplicably successful D.E.N.N.I.S. system, GodFather plays the part of a sensitive intellectual to exploit the rebounders, and High Priest takes the leftover scraps and deflects the truly heinous creatures away from the other two.

  • Albulena Imeri


    But if u two r in an open relationship, Yes.

    If you respect youself, it's no.

  • Albulena Imeri

    Some girls (and guys, too) really suffer from the low self-esteem syndrome.

  • 外交猫
    外交猫 wrote:

    He might be telling the truth about the "love" part, but everyone else on the forum is correct that he's going to keep cheating on her.  So she has to make up her mind whether that's an acceptable deal.  He'll marry her, do his best to make her happy, provide for her, give her love, and fuck like 20 other girls on the side over the next 30 years.  If she's cool with that, then go for it.  If not, break up immediately.  If she's naive enough to think he won't do it again, then I have no sympathy.

    She faces another problem though: this being China, if she dumps this guy and finds another one, there's an 80% chance the new guy is going to do exactly the same thing.  Chinese Girls face a statistically unfriendly climate in the realm of infidelity when it comes to Chinese husbands.

  • Saint - Spartacus

    i do not agreen about the upstaire,  this  general analyse  about chinese husbands seems so stererotye ... 

     But, if  Girls don't want to be naive ,  they just need learn to say No.

    the low self-esteem syndrome make u lose yourself and make u miss the great person in coming  ^_^ ....  



  • Saint - Spartacus


    it's just not your bitch fucked with another man or other two man , so you can calme down and turn to cover the dishonest  &  insincere side?  no offence... ...

    it's pity to let such a ignorant thing increase and become legitimate  a nomal behavior, that will be a real sad thing ... ...

    i'm 100 % sure that he is a BAD boy. BeCause ... ...  i pass my word to Dando Z ... ...

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    Do notice: they're cohabitating. They share a home and a bed. These people are practically married! They just lack a piece of paper saying so. Actually, according to the text they've been "together" for three years. If "together" means they were cohabitating for the entirety of those three years, then they indeed would in effect be in a common law marriage, or at least they would be if this was Ontario, Canada.


    I'm not a playboy, but I play one on the Internet. In any case, I am certainly desperate enough to get my Twinkie stinky that I would never refuse an invitation to a downstairs mixup party from a fully conscious and legally consenting adult. But here's the rub: I wouldn't keep my inclination to do so as a secret, especially not from anyone with whom I'm in a relationship, most not certainly from someone with whom I'd be living, and hopefully not from anyone who might randomly offer to slob on my knob like corn on the cob outside the boundaries of a relationship.

    Carnal loyalty is nothing compared to honesty and authenticity.

    Do note that since this took place in their home, it was most certainly premeditated, unless the other woman was selling something door-to-door. Although this also means that the other woman probably knows that he's got a girlfriend, unless he went out of his way to make their home look like a bachelor pad.

    Another important important thing is that he did this while she was supposed to be away on a business trip. If it wasn't planned, then he's just too stupid to let live.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)


    Hahahaha ... stupid question: does it matter what the girl thinks?

    (supp) I dont think the question here is just about "forgiveness", but more about what's the next step from here?

    I remember talking to two types of girls on this site:

    ... one is that they are OK with one little incident (but as Stephanie suggested, and most people agreed, it is likely to happen again, and again) ...

    ... the other is that they would rather leave, instead of "dealing" with more further incidents ...

    One question for the girl of this case ... how much does she love and trust this guy?

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    "how much does she love and trust this guy?"

    我不给一个屎. If there's any doubt, it's either far too much or not nearly enough. She's either pitifully naive or a frigid gynocrat. Either way, she should be fed to wild animals, along with her boyfriend, who is also either a complete moron or a deviously manipulative bastard.

    The only person I have any sympathy for is the 小三, but that's only because we don't know anything about her, and I like mysterious women.

  • Tina
    Tina's猫 wrote:

    torture him instead!

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    Torture sounds good!

    I should say, if she REALLY loved him--the true him--she'd forgive him post-haste and join in for a threesome. Tomorrow, or with what's left of her extra day off, she'll exact her revenge in the most loving way possible: orgasm denial BDSM session.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)


    (continued) ... just a slight amenment ...

    While riding on line 5, I was just thinking ... she must be inexperienced at this kind of situation, and definitely confused ...

    Further to what I said above ... I lean more towards sugesting that she should move on, with or without forgiveness ...

  • High Priest
    High Priest wrote:

    Well, I see! What GF said in his first statement makes him a mature guy, I don't know how much younger he is than me, but he's made a good point which I ask girls here to consider that option.

    A question for the boys here, who has never cheated on his gf or wife around here? Is there anyone around here?

    Relationship for those who like it, has got too many things to deal with. Without forgiveness please don't get into a relationship, if not one is making date with disappointment. I've seen ladies who have their hubbies and bfs into actions like this, they came to me asking for HP admonition, the lady sreeming and swearing for a break up. After showing them that each one deserves a second chance, they went on with their love and till theday of  today they are happy in their families.

    If someone pleads to make a change, give him a chance, don't be a loser girl, u lose ur man and someone else will be enjoying him while u  r staying single with too much regrets. 

    Often time I say, spending more than a year with a boy means a lot to a girl, dumping the guy, and getting another guy, especially for girls who cherish marriage and family, might still be hard and u might fall again in the hand of a guy who might be worse than the current one. Give him a chance dear, don't pay attention to what ur peers will say about u.

    Ladies, learn more about Hillary. Hillary case is more known but there are more Hillaries who stood by their men and got these men bk to themselves. These ladies like Hillary are the winners.

    If you lose ur man who beged for your pardon because of the mistake he made and promised not to repeat it anymore, moreover; he promise u for a better future, trust me,  ,you shall be sex toy to guys like Dando who's gonna screw u and all of ur friends around, then once moaning in the toilet, u will regret not offering a chance to that guy who couldn't have repeated his mistake.

    High Priest

  • Ataahua
    Ataahua wrote:

    dont bother to read, my toes can figure out what kind of same old story was going on~~~

    hmmm, whats forgiveness for????

    to continue the boken relationship?? to give the motherfucker anther chance to hurt her again???

    if i were the girl,i'd cut his penis off and ask him: WILL YOU FORGIVE ME TO CUT THA SOURCE OF YOUR SIN OFF?

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    High Priest, just because I left you moaning on the toilet doesn't mean I do that to everybody. Normally I take off my watch before I anally fist anyone.

    Brilliant reasoning, though: stay with the cheater, or Dando will give it to you up the shitter.

  • Ataahua
    Ataahua wrote:

    swag darling, i wish

    i just hate men playing tricks, straightforward if you wanna be bad hahahaha

  • Ataahua
    Ataahua wrote:

    swag darling you so smart, thats what we all do when get caught, id do that too, hahaha but i dont allow men do that to me, im a terrorist

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    "be straightforward if you wanna be bad"


  • High Priest
    High Priest wrote:

    @Keren, both, ur friend and her female friends were under emotion. The guy u call bastard, has accepted the blame and he is trying to save his relationship. I've seen worse than this, remeber am a High Priest:). When u love, you have to forgive. No one can predict what's each one can do in the future, people are not animals, they are those who can change and this guy needs to be offered a second chance.

    If I were ur friend, I would open the door and let them have a way to reconcile. And ur friend should be careful, she may tell her friend to dump the guy, but what will happen if she decides to give a chance to the guy? She might lose her friendship wth both of them.

    High Priest

  • Ataahua
    Ataahua wrote:

    @ swag dear. men are the same in my eyes, fleshes :PPP

    @ dando. what kind of bad thing do you want to do? cheating on a loli? haha

  • Ajantha Manohar

    @Dear ´High´ Priest, If that is normal in your family, the husbands cheating their wifes. or If your daddy fucks around and your mom believes his lies, I´m sorry for you, but don´t be stupid and extend the particular behaviour of your small village or insane family to the whole world. Thanks.

  • Ataahua
    Ataahua wrote:

    swag darling, on bed men are the same, off bed, no. besides, i am a dictator, i make the law and rule, so im gonna still cut that off woohuoooo

  • Ataahua
    Ataahua wrote:

    laolee, hahahaha, dando now must be in the pain process

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    @Ataahua, I think I would need to be in possession of a loli before I could cheat on a loli. 

    And it takes a lot more than that to give me the 蛋疼.

  • Tonje Dahl
    Tonje Dahl wrote:

    its just like the domestic violence.this scene gonna happen again and agian . ..maybe he will be more careful so u cant feel it ..i thought this is different values..so if u r not cool with it just broke up..but if u think its not big deal .he gonna be happy .

  • 陶冶
    陶冶 wrote:

    forgive him , then just  leave.

  • Lily_me
    Lily_me wrote:

    Three years is more important than this problem, cause she already got used to be together with him for everything, that's why she hesitated, met that thing by herself, then more difficult to forget in the future,  Even it's painful to end it, but she needs to make a decision. And breaking up is the best way. Anyway, everyone has their own opinion~ 

  • Simen Wangberg

    "forgive him , then just  leave."

    rape him , then just  see if he repulse or surrender.

  • Simen Stensvoll

    forgive him if u  loved him before

    leave him if u still love him

    rape him and get a threesome with him if u don't love him anymore(just in that case he begging u back)

  • Stevie Wonder
    Stevie Wonder wrote:

    she should forgive him and be a good gf and after a while tell him she would like to spice up their sex life and ask him if they can get another girl to join them for a threesome and be really serious about it.he might refuse but she should be adamant about it and if he finally agrees then she should dump the asshole cos that show that he will would fuck another girl once he gets the chance to and has no loyalty to her.

  • Saint - Spartacus


  • Simen Wangberg

    "High Priest takes the leftover scraps and deflects the truly heinous creatures away from the other two."

    You should see him feed - he's like a mantis.

    MANTIS. You should call me that from now on!

    Or whatever he says.

  • Yanni
    Yanni wrote:

    is it true story?or just the copy from a book somebody written

    no comment

  • Jenny&King
    Jenny&King wrote:

    hahahaahaYanni, i think so , cause it really sounds like a story from TV and 100 cities happen the same thing almost everywhere.

     Why she left when she cought the two, she should stay there and made a radio, or just sat down by the side of the bed and talked to the two , and asked what is going on between the two , not just ran away.

         If your friend  do as what i say next time when she catch he again after she forgive him. you will see how much time you can save , and do not need to wast lots of energy to judge the thing or think about forgive him or not.

  • Yanni
    Yanni wrote:

    i don't give any suggestions for this kind of story,it seems the common stories could happen everywhere nowadays

    hmmm...myself,i would think about how to punish both them if my partner is doing this to me,hee hee...(the evil look)

  • Jenny&King
    Jenny&King wrote:

    haha partner have more rights than boyfriend , right? Depends on what is your agreement between you 2.

  • Yanni
    Yanni wrote:

    that's true,but should avoid the partner will use it fight against you back one day when the relation is finished

  • 事与愿违
    事与愿违 wrote:

    NO,don't forgive him forever.Have done once,he will do many times.

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    @Keren, this was 4 weeks ago, what have happened to him? he was forgiven or not?? O_o

  • Rose
    Rose wrote:

    Poor girl...

Please login to post a reply to this thread.


WeLiveInBeijing.com is a social community for people living in or traveling to Beijing.

Powered by: Bloc