Discussion » Dating & Romance » how to help them

  • Tina
    Tina's猫 wrote:
    <p>Ok,everyone,i'm gonna have to start this thread cause i'm dersperately in need of backup suggetions to convince my parodox mind,and more importantly to help my best friend who are in a cold war with her bf.</p> <p>here is the story: days ago,my best friend got her wallet stolen without realizing anything,after she was done with the hair thing in yayuncun,she found out the wallent is gone,with her id,bank cards,money inside,she was terrified,sad at that moment,but luckily she still has her phone in the bag, so the first thought is to call her bf for help cause the hair place didn't let her go,but---as usually,he was very busy working,working ,so he kind of like i'm busy,leave the phone there,u know the attitude,so my friend was upset,she later called friends to help her out,after hous,it was solved,but later she was so sad and got extremely disappointed,cause her bf didn't call back to ask for further solution but insisting at the beginning his suggestion was a reasonable and sensible one</p> <p>u know i always think they are a good couple together (not married),but as far as i know,the guy is crazy for working and usually go to work in the early morning and come back at night,he also admitted that he is not paying much attention to her.</p> <p>but my friend is more like sensitive and sometimes a little bit demanding,i mean she could be unfair sometimes,this is normal,girls are all like this sometimes,isn't it.she knows this is one part she need work on and i also warned her of this. i sometimes joke with her that be careful,or he will walk away</p> <p>but for this particular thing,i was also kind of wondering what kind of bf this is,when she really needs him.he threw her a piece of suggestion that didn't even go through his mind reasonably,but later he didn't even call back to ask</p> <p>but,good friends always try to do the best for each other,right?i should try to explain to each other what's going on with each side to make them understand more?or what should i do?</p> <p>another thing,last night i was talking with her on qq,he was on the train back to home,i was shocked,i think she is really heart-broken this time.and she left without saying bye to her bf,and till now,he didn't call her for anything.</p> <p>and when i called him tonight to see what's on his mind,he insisted that he did his best to offer a suggtion,which he believes to be a good one for that situation so he concluded:i did what i can do!</p> <p>I'm confused,my weekend started with this big problem.</p> <p>please everyone,what you think it's the best way for me to help them out,they are my best friends,i really want them to work this out :(</p>
  • Tina
    Tina's猫 wrote:

    ok,i'm off to have a drink with friends,but.............after that i still need figure out a way........

    i mean it's not my responsibility,i don't have to,but ..........i need help them ,cause they  need me too 

  • High Priest
    High Priest wrote:

    Dear Tina, your friend got into trouble(Losing wallet and thing), it's normal. It wasn't the end of the world. Her was at work and you know how bosses treat workers in China...some workers are even afraid to pick up the phone..

    Your friend should get her bf suggestion. She would have left the phone as her bf was at work and he could settle this matter after work. First things first, work comes first, it was urgent, relationship is import ant, but not urgent. She was ok, wasn't hurt phisically, she could have left the phone and go to the banks and tell the banks about the loss of her banking cards. Her Bf after work could have helped in his way.

    High Priest

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahahaha ... I was going to guess that they are (or at least one of them is) about mid twenties to early thirties, and then I thought this is a silly guess, because (of course) they would have to be ... and one (or both) of them is not Beijing local ...

    I have a question ... or two ... what kind of work does her BF do? what was he doing when she called?

  • Tina
    Tina's猫 wrote:

    @ Priest, she was just thinking leaving the phone there is not her first option,and for the loss of money cards thing,she called me later ,crying,said she didn't care,it's just the way her bf dealt with the issue hurt her

    and after she came back,they were talking about this,her bf frankly concluded in the end: 

    I gave seconds to think about the priority of these 2,i think work is more important

    @john,yes,i was thinking i probably put too much worry about this than i should...

    @dd,he is an investment.....not sure about the right title for it,he was having ameeting with a client

  • Stina Rytter Norheim

    2 wrongs dont make a right.they were both wrong in one way or the other.based on the info u have shared with us her bf did the only thing he could do which was give her a suggestion and in her position there was only 2 things she could do which is 1)leave her phone there(as her bf suggested) or 2)call some friends for help which she did to solve the problem.

    now lets see where they were both wrong

    her bf was at work and she knows this so what really was she expecting him to tell her or do in a situation like this?what would he have said or done to make her feel ok when he was at work at the moment?or would she have prefered he left his responsibilities in his office and thereby put himself in a bad corner at work cos the hair salon wont let his gf leave?was she in any immediate health danger?i think ur friend wanted her bf to be SUPERMAN.girls expect too much from their bf without considering the consequences the bf will have to face besides she is not a kid who doesnt know how to handle things when her bf is not around or is she gonna be calling him for every little problem she runs into for him to run over and fix it for her?.

    her bf was correct in the suggestion he gave her but he fucked up for not calling her back to know what or how she handled the incident without him being there.fucked up for not caring to know if she was ok since the last time they talked which makes me believe he doesnt really care how she handled it .sorry to say but when a guy doesnt really care if his gf is ok or hurt or safe or how she handled a problem she called him about then that relationship is either heading to the end or it has already ended.

  • Stina Rytter Norheim

    i suggest u ask the both of them to be honest with each other and tell each other if they still love and wanna be together cos if the answer is no then they are just torturing themselves making each other think the other is still there for them.if the answer is yes then they got a big bridge to fix in their relationship.

  • Tina
    Tina's猫 wrote:

    wow,that's a big analysis,steve

    for now,i think they need some time ,maybe this break is good...but then this has to be discussed with a compromise 

  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:

    well, girls should never date guys who works for the sell side in the financial industry. They've married to work, and work drains their soul, left only skeleton, flesh and cum to shot :D

  • Tina
    Tina's猫 wrote:

    dafan,u were taking the risk to mess up with ppl who work in financial field,weren't u ?lol, kind of true with my friend's bf's case, seems he gets up at 5:30 or 6 in the morning and come back home at 9,or later.....

  • Stina Rytter Norheim

    since when did love become a business arrangement or battle field that there should be a compromise?there is understanding and not contracts in true love.love is unconditional,forgives all,understands all,unselfish otherwise its not true love.

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