Discussion » Nonsense » wlib

  • Tuco
    Tuco wrote:
    <p>is it me or is it dying out?</p>
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahahahaha ... we need more racist, sexist and prejudicial topics in the forum ... and I think, the introduction of "blogs", nice as it might be, had diverted a lot of people from the forum ...

    Ans: no, it is not dying ... just need more fresh blood ...

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    (continued) ... oh, there also needs to be more bugs features and down times on the site ...

  • Joakim Lund Rangel

    if its dying? what a terrible thing to say.

    No it`s actually growing faster than before.

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    Didn't we have a great racist jokes thread?

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    。。。

    Hahahahaha ... might as well create a category for anything prejudicial or ignorant :)

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    It didn't come up in the search (forum search now works by the way). I could have sworn I'd posted this before...

    'No Mexicans Please
    A U.S. Navy cruiser pulled into port in Mississippi for a week's liberty.The first evening, the Captain was more than a little surprised to receive the following letter from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner:

    "Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's, coming of age party. I would like you to send four well mannered, handsome, unmarried officers. They should arrive at 8 p.m. prepared for an evening of polite southern conversation and dance with lovely young ladies. One last point: No, Mexicans. We don't like Mexicans."

    Sure enough, at 8 p.m. on Thursday, the lady heard a rap at the door. She opened the door to find, in dress uniform, four exquisitely mannered, smiling black officers. Her jaw hit the floor, but pulling herself together she stammered, "There must be some mistake!"

    "On no, madam," said the first officer, "Captain Martinez doesn't make mistakes."'

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    'Sandbox Humor
    First-grade class in Brooklyn comes in from recess. Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at recess?"

    Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."

    Teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie."

    She does and gets a cookie. Teacher asks Morris what he did at recess.

    Morris says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."

    Teacher says, "Good. If you write 'box' correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."

    Morris does, and gets a cookie. Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at recess.

    He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they threw rocks at me."

    Teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."'

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    'Tatooed Penis
    This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his love muscle. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y. Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay. One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal. To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his penis. "Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?" "No way, mon, I work for the Tourist board. Mine reads, "Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day.'"'

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    'Three Chinese brothers, Bu, Chu, and Fu, want to illegally live in America. The brothers decide to change their names to seem American. Bu changes his name to Buck. Chu changes his name to Chuck. And Fu got sent back to China.'

    'Ed Zachary Disease

    A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite sometime. She was afraid that there might be something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she go see Dr. Chang, the well known Chinese sex therapist, so she did.

    Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose."

    The woman did as she was told.

    Now, get down and craw reery reery fass to odder side of room."
    Again, the woman did as she was instructed.

    Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery reery fass back to me."

    So she did.

    Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said, "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease, worse case I ever see, dat why you not
    haf sex or dates." Confused, the woman asked, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what
    is Ed Zachary disease?"

    Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eyes and replied, "Ed Zachary disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."'

     

    'Chinese Torture

    A young man is wandering and lost in a forest when he comes upon a small house. Knocking on the door, he is greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long gray beard. "I'm lost," said the young man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man." "OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old, and entered the house.

    During dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. During the night, he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet, so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.

    He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes, he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought."If that's the best the old man can do, then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window, and threw the boulder out.

    As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

    As he plummeted towards the ground, he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bed post."'

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    'Hey man, I'm A Panda

    A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down, and orders a sandwich.
    He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead.
    As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
    The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey, man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"
    The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:
    A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.'

    Are pandas marsupials? I thought they were bear-cats.

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    '

      A Chinese man arranged for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undressed, climbed into bed, and went at it. When finished, the Chinese man jumped up, ran over to the window, took a deep breath, dove under the bed, climbed out the other side, jumped back into bed with the hooker and commenced a repeat performance.

    The hooker was impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When finished, the Chinese man jumped up, ran over to the window, took a deep breath, dove under the bed, climbed out the other side, jumped back into bed with the hooker and started again!

    The hooker was amazed at this sequence. During the fifth encounter, she decided to try it herself. When they were done she jumped up, went to the window and took a deep breath of fresh air, dove under the bed to find 4 other Chinese men.'
  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    Ghost Hick
    A visiting professor at Texas A & M University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands.

    "Well that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands.

    "That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost? 15 students raise their hands.

    "That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" Three students raise their hands. "That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further.....Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" One student in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

    The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium.

    The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost." The student replies, "Ghost? Damn..... From back there I thought you said 'goats'!"

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    'Bubba's Buttholes
    Bubba died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer,were sent for. Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Daryl said, "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over." So the mortician rolled him over and Daryl looked and said, "Nope, ain't Bubba." The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Gomer looked down and said, "No, it ain't Bubba. "The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two buttholes." "What? He had two buttholes?", said the mortician. "Yup, everyone in town knew it. Every time we went to town, folks would say, "Here comes Bubba with them two buttholes..."'

  • Xiao
    Xiao wrote:

    Since you are still asking this question, no it's not dying yet. =)

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