Discussion » Dating & Romance » Should I sleep with him On the first Date

  • Coco
    Coco wrote:
    <div><span style="font-size: medium;">I do not know if this topic has been discussed; but I visited one of my net friends few days ago,..(Plz dont ask me who)&nbsp;he insisted I must sleep with him which I bluntly refused. </span></div> <div><span style="font-size: medium;">My question "should a lady&nbsp;sleep with a man on the first date" . . .Foreign guys living in China, do you really feel fine sleeping around with any lady you meet</span></div> <div><span style="font-size: medium;">&nbsp;</span></div>
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahahaha ... Coco ... if you need a bigger hammer to hit this nail, feel free to ask ...

  • Fabian Kollen
    Fabian Kollen wrote:
    Fucking no, be careful his gonorrhea.
  • Ejdnzlaj
    Ejdnzlaj wrote:

    Wow, he sounds like a scum bag. You did the correct thing. I'd cut off all contact with him.

    John Constantine is either being hilariously sarcastic or disturbing

  • Pavoir Sponse
    Pavoir Sponse wrote:

    Coco,

    there are no rules on this;  anyone that tell you yes or no 'for sure' is not thinking it through sensibly.

    If you feel comfortable with it, then it is probably ok. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.

    Most guys generally have no problem with sleeping with a girl on the first date and are all for it. There is a school of thought that says if you do sleep with a guy straight away he will not respect you in the future. Personally, I don't agree with this thinking.

    Oh and your 'net friend' is a dickhead.

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    Of course - I insist that every woman I meet have sex with me immediately. It's a good way to stay young, because no woman ever talks to me more than once, and thus I don't have "women troubles".

    你的問題和什麽外國人中國人完全沒有關係。你要是給男人機會,大多說會趁機會。你要是不給機會,對你感興趣的人還是會跟你玩。

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    。。。

    Hahahahahaha ... yeah, "need" ... I was thinking, how similar are these:

    1. can we have sex

    2. can you lend me money

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    Constantine, we already had that thread.

    DD, how many "meetings" do you typically have with net-friends before you require sex?

    說明:我有一次和叔叔約過會,他一點也沒有想“棒”我的意思。

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahahaha ... 莫明 ... truthfully? I met my three-year-long HK GF via ICQ, back in 96 or 97, and we dated a few times before I asked ...

    棒 versus 捧... I will always 捧 you ...

  • Sally
    Sally wrote:

    I completely agree with Kieran!!!

    Coco, i think if a guy who are really into u he wont be too rush for sex. be wise!

  • Simen Wangberg

    Waahhhuuullgghaaaa. Are you sure you guys know what "insist" means? Cos if this guy "insisted", then that's completely a dick move - in ANY situation. You can't just "insist" that someone sleep with you.

    But if he just "asked" or "suggested"? Big difference. Also, yeah - if you went to a single guy's place on a first date, you should probably know (or at least expect) that he might want to sleep with you. The language and attitude he displayed toward you is kind of the important detail that is missing here.

    Nothing wrong with sleeping with someone on the first date, anyway. I would probably normally have suspicions about it, especially if I was still in the States, but over here?

    Well, women just date differently over here. They have no idea of the cultural norms or rules we have back in the West regarding dating. Although from what I've gathered, Chinese women are less likely to sleep with someone on the first date than Westerners - not more likely. So I dunno 'bout that.

    Actually, I've been in relationships where the woman was the one that suggested sleeping together on the first date, and everything turned out just fine.

  • Fabian Kollen
    Fabian Kollen wrote:

    You all retards are down, Coco, I know u did that, haha! see how intelligent I am. And I strongly advice u to go hospital now to make a health check, again, be careful the gonorrhea. good luck.........

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    depends what you want


    If you want build a relation with him, then no. why? who can know other person having only one date and some comfortable chatting before. Some persons are like kids in a toy store, they desire many things, but want only a few. And i don´t know, but the illusions and charm that a person feels for other, usually die after obtain what they wants. So better have time to know each other. At least, the things are like that in Spain, in the first dates, women spend a lot of time asking things, testing them, and cataloging the guy as material for be a bf, be a lover, for be a friend, trash.....  


    but if you only want pass a good time, that´s also very good thing. And nobody should blame you for it. You should not feel social presion about no have sex in the first date, only have in mind that you probably you don´t know nothing about the other person, all the things in your mind are illusions about him, so be careful and use a condom also in the heart, don´t put feelings. 

    and maybe you think that men don´t like waste the time, but also is truth they don´t apreciate the easy things, in sports, in the job, in many things.... at least in football match the best game is when your team wins in the last minute, secs, after a great uncertainty and many difficulties. We always remember those games. 

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahahaha ... Foreveryoung太初 ... I have a sick mind, so I only think about dating your daughter :)

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    (continued)

    ... or your grand daughter ... heehee ...

  • 外交猫
    外交猫 wrote:

    There are no rules about this kind of thing.  If you're on a first date with some hot guy and you love everything he's saying and you think he's sexy as hell and you want to fuck his brains out on the first date, then go ahead and do it.  Or, if you're the kind of girl that's uncomfortable with fucking that early, then don't do it.  It's cool either way and both ways can work out really well, or both ways can work out badly.  Just do what you feel is best for you.

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    Foreveryoung太初. Men...... we are pretty simple

  • Fabian Kollen
    Fabian Kollen wrote:

    @Adolfo: she's a girl, not gay.

  • 外交猫
    外交猫 wrote:

    I will say this though: ladies, please do not go back to a guy's apartment at the end of the date if you dont' want to have sex with him.  If you go back there in the middle of the night, that signals that sex is on the agenda.  He's going to assume that.  Then if you turn him down after you're already in his apartment, he's probably going to think you're a tease and he's going to be annoyed at you and not want to see you again.

  • Stina Rytter Norheim

    i think it depends on the girl.if she is ok with sleeping with the guy on the first date then its ok but if she is not then she should refuse him.it doesnt really matter what anybody says here,what matters is if the girl who finds herself in that situation is ok with it or not.

  • Stina Rytter Norheim

    i also agree with ethan here.ladies if u dont want sex on the first date do not give the guy any signals(like going home with him) that u are down for it cos we guys are fast in reading and hoping for the bedroom signs.

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    @stanley. your nerdy humor still doen´t put a smile in my face, oooooohhh!!!  :O

    try again

  • Simen Stensvoll

    then why u met him?

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahahaha ... I have a question here ...

    Coco ... were you perhaps attracted to this guy somehow, or maybe fantasised (fantasized) about him before knowing that he is in fact not very good looking and/or have lots of used condoms in his apartment?

    太初 ... I still dont know your daughter's name ...

  • Simen Wangberg

    "I really do not understand why people are easily express an unfavorable or adverse judgment on men when it comes to sexual matters."

    People only do that when men say dumb things. Which happens often. Especially in your case. Really having a field day with you today, bro.

    Anyway, as I sort of already mentioned, some women DO ask for it first. But only if they feel simultaneously non-threatened and attracted. You know how in that other thread, you asked drunk girls to hang out with you, cos you "have what they need"? That would be described as "threatening".

  • Stina Rytter Norheim

    good point

  • Stina Rytter Norheim

    good point to godfather on his comment on this thread.

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    GodFather. ----Who says that ladies can not request for sex first..?--

    well, of course nothing happen, a woman doesn´t lose her pure, her soul, or whatever religious experts of hell can say about it. 
    but if you have in mind a relationship, and thinking about future questions like

     -how did you meet your gf/bf- 

    or ur sons - daddy, mum, how did you meet each other?


    well, and the answers will depend of if you like the dirty realism movement (I met your father in a party, i had broken with my ex-jerk boyfriend, your father was enough drunk to flirt with me and defeat his shyness, and I also get drunk that night, so in the end of the night we fucked in the bathroom, but we forget put the condom.... and 9 months later, you appeared in our lives......) , fantastic literature, magic realism.....  


    the issue is about esthetic and the style how do you write your life, nothing more.

  • High Priest
    High Priest wrote:

    Well well well, Coco, I thought the day you went to visit him isn't in the calendar, Because people can have sex anytime and everywhere in this world. Clint had it on his office table.

    ONS happens the same hours people meet.

    If u need a true lover, patience is needed, to get to know the person well. but it's not a garrantee that he is serious about the love in question. Most guys can relax the first day and the second one, u get a rocket.

    My question is, he insisted on having sex the same day, u didn't talk about kissing and touching...U mean here that he just touched u and gave u french kisses and wanted to go deeper and u said, please  stop by here first?

    My last question, who is he? Is it Godfather or Bedtyger?

  • Stina Rytter Norheim

    why not what?


  • Yuki
    Yuki wrote:

    @High Priest 

    I think Ms Coco is old enough to figure out  if she should do it or not... so we shouldnt act like her parents and decide yes or no...

    Hehe, right now i am curious about who is  the guy Ms Coco went to dated.....

    1, "Most" western guys if you said no, i dont wanna do it, then they will respect you and wont insist to do it. = so 90% this guy is not white

    2, "Most" Chinese guys if you said no, i dont wanna do it, but they will still force you to do it....but Coco used to use wlib, and most of guys here are foreigners..=so 99% this guy is not Chinese.

    3, As i saw lot of black guys show how much they love sex stuff on wlib, and it should be 80% that the guy which Ms Coco has been dated is black.  as High priest asked :" My last question, who is he? Is it Godfather or Bedtyger?"  Hmmm,,,,,

  • Fabian Kollen
    Fabian Kollen wrote:

    Yeah why not!? come on! see what a lovely mixed baby u will get with the dickhead.

     

     

  • Yuki
    Yuki wrote:

    Ops, Now i know who is the guy.... :)

  • Ejdnzlaj
    Ejdnzlaj wrote:

    Wow, Stanley just made the most racist post I have ever seen.

  • Fabian Kollen
    Fabian Kollen wrote:

    oh come on Kieran, I just said it's the mixed baby with the DICKHEAD.

  • Yuki
    Yuki wrote:

    @GodFather , I dont think its you! :)

    @Yes Sir , I dont really understand what you mean.

     

     

  • Yuki
    Yuki wrote:

    @GodFather

    OMG Godfather...One question:" are you black or white?

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahahahaha ... GodFather relaxing in his home ...

  • Yuki
    Yuki wrote:

    Godfather is cute...

  • Fabian Kollen
    Fabian Kollen wrote:

    @Steve Mensah: By the way, sorry, Steve, I just noticed ur funny name, was ur name ever been translated in Chinese as “斯蒂夫·闷骚”??   骚瑞, my bad..........

  • Black Boy In The Building Tonight

    Hahaha Yes Sir ... say it again Man ,, She is Fan of Blcak Man .. But she never Find A real Black Man like GodFather ... Sure we do choise Duud but not Omo pupa as Najia Boys saying in Black or Yellow ...

  • Yuki
    Yuki wrote:

    Anyone can tell me godfather is white or black??

  • Tina
    Tina's猫 wrote:

    yes,if u want.

  • Roki
    Roki wrote:

    Looooool... Yes Sir ! we missed you in this webside ...hahaha

  • High Priest
    High Priest wrote:

    Coco seems to be speechless. U just kissed and touched each other but u rejected S.E.X?

    So does that mean u slept at his home and closed ur legs till morning? Just wondering

  • Ejdnzlaj
    Ejdnzlaj wrote:

    MiSanDao are pretty good actually. "Good" skinheads as opposed to "Bad" skinheads if I remember correctly.

  • Fabian Kollen
    Fabian Kollen wrote:

    ahahahahahah!!!!!!! u fking bastard HP, this pic cracks me fking up! hahaha!!!!

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahahahaha ... the funny thing is that, in real life, the line between whores and princesses is very fine ...

  • Fabian Kollen
    Fabian Kollen wrote:

    agreed.

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    叮噹叔叔 (妇协杂工) 
    I catch you :P

     

  • A豆腐
  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    ohhh there is a junior category : princess aka filthy whore Junior's Tees 

     I wonder if in the future Godfather will let his own daughter wear things like that, or even if he will give her the same advices about ONS O_o   

    would let Godftaher go out her daughter with a clon of himself?

      

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    OP should do whatever she wants with her vagina. Don't look down on girls who do fuck on the first date, though.
  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    right on. its her body she can do what she wants.

    if a girl sleeps with me on the first date, USUALLY, i wont have much to do with her after or it wont be serious. USUALLY but not always.

  • Zoe Zhong
    Zoe Zhong wrote:

    Dear Coco, 睡,还是不睡,取决于你想不想。这个问题不涉及对方是中国人还是外国人(当然了,中国男人还是保守点,他也许会委婉地选择在第二次见面上床)

    我觉得,从你的描述来看,你拒绝的原因其实是你不感兴趣吧?并且,现在看来,这个决定还是很明智的。

    至于到底要不要睡这个问题,知道答案的只有你自己咯!

  • Amalie Sæverud

    they convinced me, it's just like kiss on the cheeks and shakes hands when you first meet. So I was fooled?!!!  55555 wuwuwuw..............  I want my virginity back!

  • EMILIA
    EMILIA wrote:

    To Coco:

    "Should" or "Should" not only depends on you, those comments are only advises. You're adult, so next time, try to find out the answer by yourself.  : )

    Next time when you meet a new friend:

    1) : KEEP YOURSELF IN SAFE

    2) : DONNOT LET THEM UNDERSTAND YOU WRONG

    Sorry, my english is not so good, hope you could understand me well ; )

  • Fabian Kollen
    Fabian Kollen wrote:

    Emilia Mu, u don't have to type the English, Chinese is better for OP.

  • EMILIA
    EMILIA wrote:

    To stanley: you are right! my major in college is spanish! So i'm really not good at englilsh : S

  • EMILIA
    EMILIA wrote:

    By the way, what's OP? OLD PEOPLE ?

  • Fabian Kollen
    Fabian Kollen wrote:

    @Emilia: don't worry, girl.

  • EMILIA
    EMILIA wrote:

    Fine : )

  • Ejdnzlaj
    Ejdnzlaj wrote:

    OP = original poster = LZ 

  • EMILIA
    EMILIA wrote:

    oh, i see,  i know LZ, but didn't know OP, thanx alot ! 

  • Fabian Kollen
    Fabian Kollen wrote:

    这个论坛没有'quote"功能,很不爽。

  • Petter Meisfjordskar

    It is all upon u. There is no such rule on such matters. You can even sleep with him before the first date.

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    Can we all make an agreement here to stop calling girls "dirty slut" if they have sex on the first date? This is seriously bogus, antiquated, and certainly hypocritical since we don't degrade men in a similar fashion for identical behavior. You ought to feel ashamed of yourselves, you fucking peasants.

    Women are the worst offenders; they'll call other girls sluts just so they can pose as "good girls" because they think it will increase their market value as future wives. Stop that, yo. If you're jealous that some other girl is having more fun, then maybe you need to rethink the validity of the whole monogamy ball-and-chain yourself.

    And dudes: don't fucking judge bitches and you may be pleasantly surprised. My old man is a total bastard, but he said some wise shit: "Treat a whore like a lady and a lady like a whore." Always served me well.

    BROTIP: if a so-called bad girl seems like she'll give it up on the first date, pretend to be too drunk  and cuddle instead. She will fuck you so much harder after you take a shower in the morning. You might even make a new friend for continued banging.

  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:

    if you wanna fuck just for a fuck, of coz you should fuck; if you wanna fuck becoz of sth else, maybe you should fuck; if you wanna fuck for sth else, then you are stupid~

  • Yueqiang
    Yueqiang wrote:

    推荐一部电影:《其实你不懂他的心》解决你所有的疑问。

  • 外交猫
    外交猫 wrote:

    @COOL 凉快 brings up a good point: no ever talks about sex before the first date.  I think this should be explored a little more.  Fucking can be a good way to decide whether or not you want to spend an evening with someone or not.  I mean, if the sex is awful, why bother with the dinner and movie?

    Dating and relationships are serious business.  Sex is play-time and just for fun.  Thus it's possible we're doing this whole thing in the wrong order. It makes more sense to build up from the easiest part to the hardest part.

  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    webcam sex? that's bad for my laptop. and as useless as the bj police.

  • Rick (史大龙)

    @ Dando Z 单独子 - well said!!!

  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    words of wisdom from the anal church of dando

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    No holes barred in my catechism.

  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    ah the reverend has spoken.  is it a missionary religion? if so, im in.

  • Malene stavrum Bjørkås

     

    顺其自然。

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    >Missionary

    No.

  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    Lesson for today:

     "Treat a whore like a lady and a lady like a whore." Always served me well.“ -Dando's Daddy...  

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    @Yes Sir,

    I eat people, too. I am especially fond of the adrenal and pineal glands; they're better than drugs, and more wholesome! I also eat their hearts to learn their skills and abilities, and then I steal their faces and masquerade as them.

    Not in your case, though. Ew. Gross.

  • kö
    wrote:
    推荐帖子 男人都是禽兽
  • Ejdnzlaj
    Ejdnzlaj wrote:

    I'd imagine that eating a pineal gland or an adrenal gland would be about the wildest experience possible. Imagine eating both at once.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    。。。

    哈哈哈哈,阿姨好,青少年来向阿姨跪安(美少女还在睡觉)!我也顺便来赔罪了,原来我是禽兽?

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    "He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man." (Samuel Johnson)

  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    I won't date a guy if he asked me to have sex with him on our first date... I think that is rude and he just got such huge "sperm head"... so he can fuck whoever alive in front of him at that moment I guess... 

    But If I would like to hang out with the same guy alone every time he asks me to go out with him, which it is obvious that he passed the probation of having sex with me and kinda serious about it as well.

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    “it is obvious that he passed the probation of having sex with me”

    Ms. Stephanie, the prerequisite to date you is probationary sex? In that case, may I suggest we try it out, and if we find the sex satisfactory maybe we can have a date?

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    。。。

    Hahahahaha ... Stephanie ... we have not even dated yet ... but I promise I wont ask you for sex, you just need to pay for my dinner and buy me presents ...

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    Capital letter V. It's a proper noun.

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