Discussion » Chinese Language & Culture » The First Chinese Xiao san forum was founded, Let

  • A.w
    A.w wrote:
    <p><a href="http://www.xeixe.com/" target="_blank">xeixe.com</a> is the official website of China Association for Care of Xiaosan (小三, &ldquo;<a title="little three" href="http://www.ministryoftofu.com/tag/little-three/">little three</a>&rdquo;, refers to a woman, who as a third person causes stirs to and wreaks havoc on conjugal happiness.)</p> <p>The president says that xiaosan, who puts in their passions, is different from <em>er nai </em>(二奶, literally &ldquo;the second wife,&rdquo; or a mistress kept by a well-off man), who stays with the man purely for money.</p> <p>xeixe.com, founded seven months ago, has already had 700 plus members, all of whom are mistresses of married men. Most mistresses discuss gifts they receive (luxury goods, car and house) and the market rate of monthly allowances (around 20,000 to 30,000 yuan, or 3,000 to 4,500 dollars).</p> <p>People also call them sister three. Sister Three said, now the international community has recognized <a title="homosexuality" href="http://www.ministryoftofu.com/tag/homosexuality/">homosexuality</a>. Xiaosan desire recognition too.</p> <p><img src="http://www.ministryoftofu.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/xiaosan_thumb1.jpg" alt="" width="355" height="238" /></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Hmmmmmm....Our society is very open-mind and respects the human rights correctly~!</p>
  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    我原來不知道小三與二奶的區別。我還是覺得三p比其他選擇好。

    這個論文還是有一點寫的不對。中國不承認同性戀現象。起碼這些妓女的公認比同性戀的好。

    奇怪,第二段強調小三和二奶有什麽不同,但是第三段有提到她們談的都是賠償。難道這些人不直接承認?

  • Bobo
    Bobo wrote:

    无论是小三还是二奶,有和男人来说有纯粹为了金钱利益关系的,也有为了感情关系的, 一般小三比二奶更为正式一点,小三可以成为是第三者,是希望与男方组建家庭的.

    从身份地位上分析,小三和男方应该不存在经济利益上的多大差别,一般小三有正常的工作,并不需要男方机遇经济上的支持,,但是二奶可能就不一样,二奶更多的经济来源可能是男方的给予,对男方也更加依赖.

    至于情妇我觉得是介于小三和二奶之间的一个位置,,其实本质如何还是要看实际情况而定.

    但不管二奶也好小三也罢,这些都是社会产物.

    所以我不妄自批评和评论,因为我认为存在就一定是合理的

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    "如果喜欢玩,就不要交固定的男女朋友,不要结婚。保持单身,保持自由,玩的长长久久......"

    這是中國,普通的道德不存在。與中國人結婚,正常的理解是男的要負責賺錢,提供房子,提供飯吃,但是做了這些該做的以外,他想怎麼玩就去怎麼玩。如果不喜歡玩這套,那必須事先說明。要不然他該不負責。

  • Bobo
    Bobo wrote:

    Ami 你说的这种有责任感的男人或者女人现在社会上真的很少见了

    这种发生在30-40 岁之间的感情分裂情况是正常的产物,, 这是一个过程, 有的夫妻挺过来了,有的可能就此分道扬镳。

    两个人一起久了,,如果没有细心的呵护彼此之间的感情,是很容易在那个期间发生婚外恋的,这是人的一种正常的生理周期现象,或者说心理。

    在那个时期的人,在繁重的生活压力,工作压力以及家庭压力下,更想寻求一种放松,一种无谓的宣泄,,,这就出现了第三者,情妇甚至二奶。

    最后导致婚姻破裂的可能是彼此找到了真正值得用家庭作为代价的“爱情”, 总比长期欺骗家庭的“地下恋情”要来的坦荡荡。

    虽然是伤害,但更希望他是短时间的,不要拖拖拉拉的,更不希望是那种所谓的善意的欺骗。所以我觉得,只要出现了婚姻上的背叛,就要拿到桌面上来,大家说清楚,谁也别拖拖拉拉,这样彼此都可以确定未来的生活方向。

     

     

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    the old customs from the imperial time never die, a comunist fever, during a handful of years, can not with them. 

  • Xiaodian
    Xiaodian wrote:

    everyone  have right choice his/her life style

  • Bobo
    Bobo wrote:

    Ami 

    你当然没有落伍,,国内离婚高,那是因为国内的人们更懂得如果去追求,和释放..这可能会带来一定的负面影响,但就像你说的,总比长久的痛苦强吧. 

    现在有多少家庭还在勉强维持,,但双方在外面都各自有各自的"爱人" 这样的事情已经屡见不鲜了.

    在国外的人不一定真的可以融入国外人的生活,不断你在国外待多久,还是属于外国人,想外国人在中国一样,他们是无法真正的进入真正的中国文化中. 

    所以在国外的你们可能比国内的中国人更纯洁,, 可能 ^^ 

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    I don't accept the right to be dishonest to others, but you have to accept the culture you're in. The cultural standard is to cheat, so it's not really cheating if you cheat, unless you do it in some way that's not culturally acceptable, such as actually leaving your wife for the new person, and ceasing to support her. Just like guys talk about their future life of being married with their new girlfriends, even though they don't really have that plan. The girls know it's a lie, but they want to hear it anyway. If you expect a monogamous relationship, that needs to be expressed in no uncertain terms.

  • Fabian Kollen
    Fabian Kollen wrote:

    一定要发扬“红旗不倒,彩旗飘飘”的精神!

  • Bobo
    Bobo wrote:

    哈哈Ami 我也不算大,,只是看透了这些东西,,就像我们都赞同的,存在就肯定是合理的,我们没有办法改变只能去适应,,hihi

     

  • Kent Bekkavik
    Kent Bekkavik wrote:

    Is *the cultural standard* also the reason to bitch around about APPLICATION MUST INCLUDE PHOTO in China?

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    Flash Mob, one is the accepted practice which both parties agree to. If girls stopped fucking guys who cheat on them, the standard would be nullified. No one who is being harmed by the photo requirement has the power to nullify the discrimination that goes on, so I would say the two are not comparable.

  • Bobo
    Bobo wrote:

    Flash Mob

    what are you talking about ???

     

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    I'm sure there are plenty of honest women who are rightly indignant about this issue, but stop for a second and think about who you're angry with: the mistress, or the adulterer?

    Why villify the xiaosan as a "homewrecker"? That's not to different from the police busting into a KTV and arresting all the girls, but letting the johns (men who pay for sex) walk free.

    Dudes are already of one mind about this. We all secretly (or in some cases, openly) hate monogamy and the idea of having to fuck the same person for the rest of our lives. Women know this and in many cases they silently accept it and normalize it as "human nature," but they fight amongst themselves because JUST LIKE MEN they treat mating as a form of primitive competition, except instead of trying to fuck as many dudes as possible, they'll settle for one "successful" dude.

    Whether you're competing over quantity or quality, it's still stupid animalistic behavior.

    I think it's the so-called "good girls" who call other women sluts, whores, and homewreckers who are enabling men to cheat. Really, they're just pushing their sisters under the bus so as to increase their own moral status and hence, their "market value" as potential brides.

    I think the xiaosan should form a union and use collective bargaining to obtain greater benefits, then spread some of the surplus around to the ugly chicks. Go sisterhood.

  • 外交猫
    外交猫 wrote:

    One of the reasons that girls in China have been forced into accepting cheating as a part of the culture is that many Chinese wives spent some time in their 20s being a xiao san or an er nai themselves.  I feel like half the 24 year old girls in Beijing are fucking someone elses husband.  So later on, when they're 40 and married, they know they're on the other end of the spectrum, and they're just getting the same treatment they dished out when they were young.  Turnabout is fair play.

    How the men managed to work out this sweet situation I do not know.

  • 外交猫
    外交猫 wrote:

    I have dated a lot in this country, and with a couple of exceptions I have found Chinese girls to be loving, kind, generous, and very reasonable.  Although I have been royally screwed over a few times (usually involving massive dishonesty and/or money-seeking stereotypes of the worst kind), I have not as of yet had my heart broken. A broken heart requires a long term relationship, so that love can develop, and thus a heart can be broken.  I haven't been lucky enough to find the right girl for that kind of a serious relationship.

    However, since I have a lot of experience dating, I've learned a few things.  For instance, 2 different times I've found myself dating perfectly lovely Chinese girls, and only after we'd become sexually active did they mention to me that THEY ALREADY HAD A BOYFRIEND.  The first time this happened I was shocked.  The second time I wasn't even mad, I just resigned myself.  Not surprisingly, neither of those relationships led anywhere.  I'm still friends with one of the girls though, because, well...China is wierd place.


    Also, as you know, there's nothing girls like to do more than gossip about their own friends.  So I have heard endless tales from girls I know about their friends who are dating such-and-such married guy, or used to date a married guy, or are being pursued by a married guy, or are thinking about dating a married guy, etc etc.  It just seems insanely common.  I hear this end of the story  because my friends are in their 20s.  If my friends were in their 40s, I would probably hear the other side of the story -- the wives being cheated on.

    Honesty in relationships is not a strength of either gender in this country I don't think.

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