Discussion » Nonsense » Jim Anchower is totally digging life in Beijing

  • pommie
    pommie wrote:
    <p>Hola amigos. I know it&rsquo;s been a long time since I rapped at ya, but you&rsquo;ll never guess where ol&rsquo; Jim Anchower got to. I&rsquo;m in Beijing, China! It&rsquo;s a pretty sweet deal because you&rsquo;ll all remember how I used to have to drive the Festiva like nearly 10km to General Chungs&rsquo;s for chow mein and garlic prawns every time I got the munchies real bad? Well now there are Chinese restaurants everywhere! No shit, there must be like &hellip; five on my block or something.</p> <p>Anyway, I&rsquo;ve really landed on my feet cos I&rsquo;ve got this sweet gig teaching English. The company wanted a certificate to show I&rsquo;ve been to college but I just totally printed one out at a nearby internet caf&eacute; and the boss didn&rsquo;t even look at it properly! I guess he was busy that day so that was a bit of luck, though I have to be careful around my colleagues so they don&rsquo;t catch on. Actually they all seem pretty chilled out here and one guy even said he sometimes burned up before class! I guess in China the whole education system isn&rsquo;t stuck up like the states.</p> <p>The main thing is I got a regular paycheck coming in. That and I can avoid my landlord who was being a total douche about the last few months rent. Like I told him &ndash; if I aint working then how can I have the money to pay you?? It&rsquo;s good to get away from dicks like that. And I guess you can all appreciate the benefits of a real job now the American economy is in the crapper. I guess like 90 percent of my buds are unemployed these days so you can see how bad things have got. Here in Beijing I get like 7,000 bucks a month. And check this out, the brewskis are only two bucks each! I took about twenty empty bottles back to the guy at my local store this morning and he gave me a free ice cream. How about that? I didn&rsquo;t even know they had ice cream in China.</p> <p>I&rsquo;ve been fined a couple of times at work for turning up late, which kind of sucks. They&rsquo;ve got this rule that if you&rsquo;re more than twenty minutes late for a lesson they dock your pay which is total bullshit because the kids can just read their books or whatever until I turn up. Anyway, the lessons aren&rsquo;t so bad cos I can just set some written work and kind of space out.</p> <p>I&rsquo;ve not got myself a set of wheels yet but I found out the other day that taxis are cheap too. I was running a bit late for class and I&rsquo;d kind of forgotten where the school was anyway. But then I had a brainwave so I hailed a cab and showed the Chinese dude the cover of my exercise book which has a picture of the school on it. I was pretty stoked because I thought I&rsquo;d only be like an hour late but then it turned out my school had just ripped all the books off some other company so I ended up at this other place miles away. After all that trouble I just decided to go home and crash out. My boss was pretty pissed I&rsquo;d missed a day of classes but I guess I must be a good teacher or something because he didn&rsquo;t can my ass.</p> <p>You know, the Chinese are really into the mystical stuff like fate and that. Well I think fate must be smiling on me because the school totally screwed up all the teachers&rsquo; schedules this week so I&rsquo;ve got two days off work! Today I found a place that sells chipped X-Boxes so I&rsquo;m just going to spend my down time chilling out at home on Call of Duty. It&rsquo;s funny to think just a few weeks ago I was back in the states stressed out at the rat race and n
  • pommie
    pommie wrote:

    now I’m here in China totally living the high life.

  • Ejdnzlaj
    Ejdnzlaj wrote:

    I love The Onion so much.

  • Simen Wangberg

    Hahaha. This is magic. I wish they ran more Anchower columns on there, I hadn't seen one in awhile.

  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    my god. lets see what happens in 6 months. my friend hold on to your hat. jimmy hat

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