Discussion » Dating & Romance » Dating chinese girls

  • Tuco
    Tuco wrote:
    <p>Ok, this is geared towards those guys here that are more serious about their relationships. Those that don't have 2 or 3 girls laying around.&nbsp;</p> <p>did you get married? or been together for a long time?</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>There are so many issues between these two cultures(america and china) that sometimes I don't know if I can prevent myself from losing my mind trying to keep track of all that stuff.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>id like to hear some good stories about how you got through the nightmares.</p>
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahaha ... trust me when I say that you never wake up from such "nightmares", seven and a half years of it, and counting ...

    As for cultural crash in marriage, we have got it all ...

    Australia (west) versus Chinese (east)
    Hong Kong (south) versus Beijing (north)

    A lot of people noticed that we "fought" (or argued) a lot, and they said it is bad for marriage, but in our case, we often turned discussion into "argument", and neither of us likes to "lose" in an argument ... but seriously, "talking" or communication, whether it be peaceful or noisy, is the best way to bridge the gap, so to speak ...

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    (continued) ... by the way, we have less of an issue of "west versus east" though, because she had lived and worked in Australia for a few years before I met her, and a few more after that but before we relocated to Beijing ... we have more an issue of south versus north ... and then it becomes a much "wider" situation, as cross-province marriage is quite common in China ...

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    I suggest not having long term relationships with people whos culture you don't accept/understand.

    In the case of Uncle D, it actually sounds more like a relationship problem than a cultural problem. A lot like my "marriage" problem. My solution was to end it, which I think worked well for both of us.

  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    understanding ones culture and being able to utilitize it as a native is not the same.

    arguements? sometimes but that's normal in any relationship. if there are no fights, I think a relationshp has a serious problem.

     

  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    OP, so sounds like you are in love with this Chinese lady and want to consider a marriage? I suggest you should think about that carefully which won't make you regret again or disappoint the current one you love. 

    I see good thing about culture difference in a serious relationship tho. Culture difference only makes two people attractive to each other, but bad personality and habits are murders in the relationship. People need to make sure they feel comfortable to stay one another first, then it is not a big deal. Marriage itself is not a rational thing so don't try so hard to make sense. 

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahaha ... Mike ... somehow, I cannot be sure how "serious" is our problem, let's hope it is not that bad ...

    Stephanie ... some habits can be changed, or altered or adjusted, and to build (or survive) a relationship, it is more about compromise and acceptance, regardless of cultural or nationality difference :)

  • Rick (史大龙)

    Mike, I think the cultural differences can be an interesting attribute to a relationship however if those involved are not willing to compromise then it will never work out because there are some serious differences between east and west. But it can work.

    For those of you that don’t know 莫明 personally you have to know he never plans to get married…. Sorry to give away your secret 莫明.

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    Hehe, it's not really a secret Rick. My barrier isn't raelly cultural either, it's just that people can and do change, and as I was telling a friend yesterday, I can't promise that the me 30 years from now would love the "her" 30 years from now. It's important to me that I can keep my word.

    You're just a couple years older than me though, right? I think you would find the same problem if you ever got married...

  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    dude its not a secret. im a fucking monger. and as they say at mcdonalds.

    BA BA BA BA BA

    IM LOVING IT

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahaha ... 莫明 ... as I have told many, "promises" are just words and majority of human being dont keep their promises anyway, far more importantly, is the "work" behind the promises ... and also, "change" is part of being human, right? ...

    I have a bad memory, so I had to double-check with my wife, and she confirmed that I have never promised to love her forever, but sometimes we had day-dreamed about what it would be like when we grow old together, hahaha, if we ever survive all the argument, fighting and scratching ... but we do love each other now, and we continnue to "work" on it as long as we could ...

  • High Priest
    High Priest wrote:
    Well, people; marriage has been not an easy thing. Since the dawn of time, couple used to have problems, and to every problem they often find solution. I often say that the gap between man and woman, is really wider than the gap between two different cultures. Something that bridges too different cultures is education. We were educated to tolerate other people's culture isn't it? Men should try to understand much their women. COz they are from different plannet... I don't think, couple from the same culture or same language can understand each other better than that of different cultures. We've got to differentiate understanding and listening here. They are two differents concepts. One that deals with our ears and the other that deals with our judgement. People, there's no such an important component into marriage as understanding, once this component is lacking, it's the downfall of marriage. Who don't argue? Brothers do, father and son or daughter sometime do..No one can prevent argument, but to cure it, talk and communicate peacefully. Once two people talk at the same time, both of u lose control, lost of control means losing brain. Both of u become fool and u can react in a way u can't imagine till anger is gone. Before u marry, make sure you are ready. People here talk about bullshit sometimes, to not promise to love you forever...Marriage is a life time decision people, u people should fight the lust or sex drive in you and try to stick with the person have vowed to be with in good times and bad times. This is what make our generation the most immoral in humankind history...we think divorce is solution to problem and look at how divorce rate has gone to the summit of the graph.. High Priest
  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    gotta take the good with the bad... and sometimes the ugly. eh bell?

     

    avoid? thats not good. now i see why its not serious. you don't talk.

  • Jacopo DR
    Jacopo DR wrote:

    generalizations. they just don't work.

    forget about cultural differences and stop give anything for granted, this is what made and still making my relationship healthy and enjoyable.

    Mike, you said " if there are no fights, I think a relationshp has a serious problem."

    I don't agree. I've been married for almost 8 years and we had 2 arguments in total (one of which thanks to my dad, so i'm not sure i should count it). I've been told that we look like we just met (cheesily in love, that's it), I don't care how do we look.

    I don't think we're an exception, I think we just really want to make it work, and we do it every day.

  • Tina
    Tina's猫 wrote:

    u can't avoid talking about the problem,otherwise you will get hurt,at least you don't feel comfortable with ur bf.so talk then acheive compromise.good luck :)

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