Discussion » Dating & Romance » Friends with Benefits

  • Princesa Verdadera♥
    Princesa Verdadera♥ wrote:

    Uban Dictionary: Friends with Benefits="two friends who have a sexual realtionship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogomous relationship or any kind of commitment." Is this a healthy relationship? Cuz unfortunately i found myself falling into the category currently and honestly, I am not pleased with it. Any opnions?

  • Kent Bekkavik
    Kent Bekkavik wrote:

    "not pleased" = run away. ;]

  • Peter Baird
    Peter Baird wrote:

    It can be OK for a short time, but these kind of relationships usually have a shelf life. The most common problem is that one person develops deeper feelings than the other is comfortable with.

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    I don't know about that definition. I would require monogomy with my F buddy, because I'm scared of getting diseases. Lack of emotional involvement will take place at some point in most relationships, so I don't see a problem in starting with that understanding.

    Princessa, is your unhappiness with it the same one Peter mentioned? If so, I would recommend you stop putting out and tell the guy.

  • Jenelyn Tambago

    I do agree with Mo Ming. If a guy can get you into bed, with no remorse and no commitment to anything he will keep doing it until YOU change the situation. The worst part is that you will probably end up without him anyways.
    I have a friend in the same situation and she is in love with him now and she doesn't dare to stop his little game cause she scared she will lose him. Meanwhile he dates other girls and if he has nothing better he goes back to her.

    No matter how many times or different ways i tell her she just can't change...or won't....or can't..............

  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    dont go out with him when you are horny...  I like above three answers so far.. they are telling the secret secret thing.. You need to keep that in mind.....  guys normally run away from girls after they had no commitment sex or became another person you dont familiar with... 

     

    If he likes you, he will think about you more than his "Johnson"...

    Friends with benefit = fuck pal I guess that is the meaning..

  • Jenny&King
    Jenny&King wrote:
    YEAP IF U UNHAPPY JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE , CAUSE THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP NO MATTER WHAT definitly WILL HURT U , WHEN U CARE ABOUT HIM MORE THEN WILL HURT U MORE, EVEN U HAVE SEX WITH HIM ,BUT PLEASE LET HIM KNOW WHAT U WANT , ABSOLUTELY U LOVE HIM NOW , IF HE DONT CARE ABOUT UR FEELING AND U CONTINUE TO DO THIS WITH HIM , THAT WILL BE REALLY HURT UR SELF SO BABY TAKE CARE OF URSELF AND TELL HIM WHAT U WANT IF HE DOSE NOT AGREE WITH U ,THEN NO NEED TO SAY ANY SIGLE WORD AND LEAVE HIM ALONG. THERE IS NO BENIFIT BETWEEN FRIENDS.
  • Jenelyn Tambago

    Ms Stephanie: His "Johnson"? where does that comes from? never heared of it before. Willing to explain? Thanks

  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    lol.. Pablo.. tell me if this nickname adorable? then I will answer your question.:D

  • Simen Stensvoll

    ask urself "what i really want?what i really want??"

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    ok.. let me disclose the secret here about "Johnson"...

    It's from an old movie called ... I do believe its originally from UK tho.. I heard it from an british accent lady, who called penis as “Johnson"..

     

    I found this is such cute adjective. It makes penis innocent even it has been committed innumberable sins...

  • Jenelyn Tambago

    Uncle DD as insightful as always.

    If thats the reason then you could also say his "Tracy" xD thats even cuter.

  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    Tracy.... um... I couldn't tell this is a cute adjective for that...

    Is this being used bystright guys to their bent ones?

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    Johnson is pretty standard slang... dunno where it came from.

    Never heard of "Tracy" and I don't believe it's slang for anything.

    Jenny&King, Please don't TYPE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. In internet language it means you are screaming at people. It's also very hard to read, because all letters become the same height. They do not look cool either.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
  • Jenelyn Tambago

    Hahahahah I got the "Dick Johnson city" one...it's actually closer than John Thomas...there for i was going for the "Dick Tracy" joke, but I guess it was a horrible joke.

  • 芝芝
    芝芝 wrote:
    oh you are developing feelings, that's bad!
  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    Wait... op didn't have prematital sex, did she?

  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    Yes she did sex regardless her marital status...

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahahaha ... she is a princess, right?

  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    I suppose she is princessa ... I found this has a meaning "贵妇” rich young lady... ; D。。

  • Jenny&King
    Jenny&King wrote:
    hehe 莫明: thanks for told me that , i dont mean to do that ,just this morring my computer had some problem so----------------, i dont want to scream at anyone, just care about the baby girl ^^
  • Simen Stensvoll


    but nothing would be better than falling in love with a F buddy

    commitment is the most useless thing

  • Webslave
    Webslave wrote:

    if both are clear about the situation without longing for more and also dont go for other sexual encounters, it might be fine i guess. but the questions how to keep the emotional balance. It might feel weird if one side wants to end it for what ever reason.

  • Princesa Verdadera♥

    Thanks guys. .

    well for now. im fine. i said i was NOT pleased cuz i think this term is absolutely disgusting. But i do not have any special feelings for him, at least not yet! Good for me huh? lol. I was just disapointed to find out now i'm one of those who got involved with meaningless sex. Not my cup of tea. Def not.

    Ps. why are men so afraid of making commitments? I don't get it.

  • Webslave
    Webslave wrote:

    sex is not meaningless, i rather see it as a very special way of communication. I can be a nice add on for emotional apps i can aswell act as an stand-alone. :)

  • Princesa Verdadera♥

    very true Websalve, but i do think sex between 'friends w/benefits' is quite meaningless tho.

  • Princesa Verdadera♥

    btw. I lovee the discussion about 'johnson' you guys brought up. haha. hilarious.

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    Johnson?

    The friends with benefits situation can be all right as long as the partners involved are honest about their liasons and practice safe sex. It needn't be a relationship lacking in emotional attachment--they're still friends, after all. People tend to develop emotional attachments to friends. Unless they're sociopaths, or something.

    I think the only thing really innately lacking in those relationships is exclusivity. And let's face it. Most people are insecure. When they start thinking about whoever naughty bits have been pressed upon and/or into their loved ones, the average person gets all upset and worries that their loved one is making comparisons of size or skill or whatever. What a bunch of petty bullshit.

  • 外交猫
    外交猫 wrote:

    Yeah, it's a little wierd to say that "Friends with Benefits" involves no emotional attachment and is totally meaningless.  I mean, isn't the person your friend?  Don't you care about your friends?  If you don't care about the person at all, then it's not "Friends with Benefits".  Instead you should call it, "Some Asshole Stranger I Barely Know...With Benefits."

  • Webslave
    Webslave wrote:

    I guess what Pricessa meant was it's less meaningful in terms of a romantic relationship. In the end, sharing is caring, right? Yet this caring can only be to a certain degree to avoid sending the wrong signals and mislead your counterpart to fall for you emotionally.

  • Princesa Verdadera♥

    yes I do care about him a lot. He is like my best friend right now. I defined it as ' meaningless' is in terms of sex. This sex relationship we have been having is meaningless. But the friendship we have is just awesomee. period.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahaha ... in that case, Princessa♥, this sounds more like you two playing tennis (or other sports). but you are only doing it to keep the friendship?

  • High Priest
    High Priest wrote:

    Times often boys are winners in these cases. But I heard some young ladies claiming they are using boys to get their instant needs met.

    I got a female friend, who doesn't know the exact number of boys she has bedded with. May be it's because she didn't note their names on a notebook:) But one day, she got a guy, who gave her a fuck of her live, and she got emotionaly bound and this guy didn't want to see her in bed afteward. She was crying like a baby, I was helping sweep her tears that all my cups were full.

    Some girls can have sex with a guy and don't get attached emotionally to a guy, but it may happen one day and that's gonna hurt...Guys, it happens to them too, but not more often.

    It's not a clean relationship, but how many in here are this case? Sooo many, we got girls here with Mon bf, Tue Bf, Wed Bf, Thur Bf, Frid bf, Sat bf:)

     

    High Pries

  • Jenelyn Tambago

    hmmm I think it's no good, I mean you can have a friend, and you can have meaningless sex, but I think both don't go together...for now it may be OK, but what about later...besides you may think he see things like you, but non of us think the same way. You should also have in mind the future:

    1) you will become sooner or later bf and gf
    2) when either of you get a bf or gf it may bring trouble.
    3) If you are living in BJ imagine him getting a chinese jealous gf, she will probably kill you first. xD

    I'm not saying it's impossible but rather very difficult to achieve.

  • Jenelyn Tambago

    make your own dictionary!!

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahaha ... Pablo ... let's be FwB, I will bring the vege and smoked salmon, and you can provide the dressing, and we can make salad together ...

  • Simen Wangberg
  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    Desmond .. I agree with you.  The consequence is one day you would met the one whose gonna destroy all your magic..  This person would be out there waiting for the right time...

     Princessa:

    I do understand why guys hate commitment so bad..I do hate that too... BUT, that is only because I'm not ready to sacrifice myself to anybody yet and I do keep my commitment words as treasury than rubbish.. I do believe guys are alike even they are from the moon...

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahaha ... about "commitment" ...

    In my opinion, "saying" it to someone, it's just, well, "words" ... it does not need to mean anything ... it is "sweet" (with that warm tingly feeling) for a girl to hear a guy "saying" it to her (also for a guy to hear that from a girl), but it would hurt like hell when she finds out that he only said it so that he can have sex with her ...

     

  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    you are right Uncle DD...

     

    BTW, look outside the window.. !!! what you see???

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
  • Jenelyn Tambago

    Uncle DD,

    I hope you are REALLY talking about salad, cause i rather make a "salad" with a Auntie and being ME who brings the "smoked salmon"...

  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    Orz.................

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahaha ... Auntie S (aka my boss) brought back some New Zealand smoked salmon from Sydney in Oct ... but it is very finely sliced, so I normally toss it into pasta for salad ...

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    If the sex is as awesome as the friendship, it sounds like a totally functional relationship to me.

    Just because it's temporary doesn't make it meaningless. Think of those intricate sand paintings that Tibetan monks make, only to be destroyed as soon as they're finished. Things break and people die. The meaningful bits are in the moments you share with one another. It could be worse. You could be married to someone you hate, fucking for reproductive purposes only. Until one of you dies.

    OP's situation sounds pretty ideal to me. Then again, I'm a guy. I invited my fuckpal to Easter dinner with my family one year, so what the fuck do I know?

  • Jenelyn Tambago

    But friends last much longer...even a lifetime, if you get a fuck pal, and you get to change him/her for someone better, you probably will lose the friendship too.

  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    no one cares about fuck pal that long...

    Dando, I through you are geek.. so it was acceptable behavior when you were bing geeky...:D

  • Jenny&King
    Jenny&King wrote:
    hahahahhahahahahaahah yeap u guys r totally ,absolutely right, no matter what u want , it very strange to call "oh my friend ,let have sex " hahahahahah
  • Simen Stensvoll

    Buffalo wrote:

    Posted 10 minutes ago

    But friends last much longer...even a lifetime, if you get a fuck pal, and you get to change him/her for someone better, you probably will lose the friendship too.

    i agree.

    but if time could rewind, i would still choose to F** him anyway

  • Jenelyn Tambago

    Minimy:

    LOOOOL!!! xD

  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    I love you Minimy...

  • Jenny&King
    Jenny&King wrote:
    lol who FK who ,to be or not to be ,that's a question
  • Princesa Verdadera♥

    bwhahaha, i guess we just have to wait and see then. Also, 99 % of our time is just hanging out like best friends. Def not f** pals.

    Like Minimy said, when the time comes to that you both happen to be in the mood, why not.

  • Jenelyn Tambago

    Ok, now it may be ok. And if you don't care losing the friendship in the future it's cool.

    Just I tell you a compressed VERY REAL love story:

    1. Boy A humps his friend  Girl A for 2 years
    2. Girl A says she is in love with Boy A
    3. Boy A says not in love with Girl A
    4. Girl A gets tired of waiting and start dating Boy B (Boy B is Boy A's best friend)
    5. Boy A cannot hump Girl A anymore, so NOW he realize he loves her.

    Few parties and gatherings after.

    6. Boy B and Girl A stop talking with Boy A forever.

     

  • Jenny&King
    Jenny&King wrote:
    hahahahahahahaha that is a nice story. i like Boy B , absolutely Boy A is not a resposibility and not right for her, hehe if keep saying" why not" if u r both in that mood, i have nothing else to say, please no more regret and complain later, cause u enjoy and u both enjoy, u both interested in that benifit.^^ good luck.
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    That only happens if boy A was just acting like a friend to get closer to girl A's lady parts.

  • Jenny&King
    Jenny&King wrote:
    yeap u get the points like always Dando.^^
  • High Priest
    High Priest wrote:

    While in France I learnt a recital which in can be found in different culture: Le corbeau et le renard___A crow and a fox, more often in this case, girls are like Crows and boys like fox...

    Let me tell you girls, you gonna play around, it's because u r attracting and beautilf, remember that beauty is temporal, just for a short time. Once u reach 30s, and u wanna settle, it gets damn tough to get someone to be with for the rest of ur life, then you're gonna end up with an an old geriatric who then couldn't satisfy your intense sexual needs and u would see urself trying to lok for younger guys who  much inclined into pretty beautiful girls of their generation.

    For boys, after playing you, they can still have any girl of any age...

    I just want our fellow ladies, to really want to know what their future would be like... would they be players for ever? It's can't be... so please play a little and get back on track and recalibrate your life...

     

    High Priest

     

  • Simen Stensvoll

    @Princessa♥

    i won't never ever feel sexual attracted to my male friends,i mean fuck pals may become good friends in the end,but good friends won't become fuck pals by anyway

     

  • Jenny&King
    Jenny&King wrote:
    both good job: High Priest and Minimy .
  • Simen Stensvoll

    @Desmond

    ur quite right,my dear father.

    but u missed other situations

    and i think its kinda  pathetic to put one's future upon others.sometimes i think i may be  poor and not hot or wet in my 40s or 50s,and no guy will like to F me anymore,oh,god,that would be so sad.so sometimes i think i should get married,just for the stable sex in the rest of my poor life. but i just can't do that.

    ok,be serious,i don't see anything wrong for playing,as long as u enjoy it,and ur single.i don't want to put my future on a man,i want to have my own life,and to love my life,and maybe have a nice people to share it with me.

     

  • Jenny&King
    Jenny&King wrote:
    that could happen MInimy.
  • Kay
    Kay wrote:

    @Minimy that pathetic Comment Picture

  • Simen Stensvoll

    yes,i don't worry about that so much now

    since ming said he will F me after i retired

  • Princesa Verdadera♥

    i like your point Minimy. Hight five ;)

    & Buffalo, nice story. I feel bad for boy A. But he deserves it. :(

  • Kay
    Kay wrote:

    if you saiy so... hope he will be there to keep is word...

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    2030.

  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    ok.. do fuckever you want .... I like to hear the word fuck tho... lol...

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    So that's why you're so butthurt. Tiger ladies at your back door.

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    Well, I like "benefits", and I like friends, so maybe if I combine the two...

    Does anyone else feel like a beer + ice cream float right now?

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    Oh Jesus! A beer float tastes horrible! Nothing like a root beer float, and much worse than either beer or ice cream by itself. Oh well... I guess it was worth a try once.

  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    uh where are we today folks? this is china!! my god people here fuck each other like mad.

    friends with benefits? old school term . need a new one

  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    Mike, just say "friend” I guess. Even married couples who haven't yet had the ceremony will still refer to the spouse as "friend". And of course, assume that friends of the opposite sex get to bang eachother on occasion.

  • Martin Svean
    Martin Svean wrote:

    if i were married and she called me her friend there would be a rather large arguement followed by a very long quiet period of time where I would be considering divorce.

    fellow animal

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    Friends with benefits just sounds nicer than fuckbuddy, sexpal or paoyou. But I ain't picky about what my partner calls me as long as its not somebody else's name.

  • Ms. Stephanie
  • 随便叫兽
  • Ms. Stephanie
  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    That is one ugly sumo wrestler...

  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    Is him? I thought it just a chubby boy....

    My one is better than Dando's.

  • Ejdnzlaj
    Ejdnzlaj wrote:

    the on Stephanie posted is one of my all time favourite .gifs along with a few "Deal With It" ones.

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    Oh no you didn't. You challenge me to image-fu and I will wreck this forum. Anonymous does not forgive.

  • Ejdnzlaj
    Ejdnzlaj wrote:

    My image folder is lacking on the with captions front... I just collect oddities:

    I havn't been on /b/ in something like 4 years. Whenever I left high school. I still visit /fit/ and /x/ regularly and /v/ occasionally. When I can be bothered sifting through the mountains of porn for a funny thread I'll go to /gif/ too. /b/ died a long time ago for me though.

  • Ms. Stephanie
    Ms. Stephanie wrote:

    hahahhahahahhahhah.....................  hahahha......

    Oh well, I don't really get both of you gentleman... lol

    But it just made me laugh ...

  • Ejdnzlaj
  • Minger
    Minger wrote:

    Is this thread going to result in me getting a FTF or not?

  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:

    I still visit /b/ sometimes when I'm bored. Occasionally there's a decent You Laugh You Lose thread, but I'm also quite fond of /v/ and /tg/. I hope /int/ doesn't fill up with Nazis now that /new/ is closed, and I think /soc/ looks oddly promising. I was disappointed that /r9k/ filled with nothing but whiny lonely virgins, because it was such a good idea to begin with.

    But other than You Laugh You Lose, a significant proportion of of my reaction images and macros come from knowyourmeme or encyclopedia dramatica.

  • Ejdnzlaj
    Ejdnzlaj wrote:

    Yeah /r9k/ was interesting experiment, but I don't think it's not interesting that it became that. What's more OC than you're actual life? Lots of shitty teenage mysogany under the guise of "but I am a nice guy". I think /soc/ is just going to be the same thing but instead you actually know what you are getting and aren't going to be dissapointed by expecting something else. Havn't visited it yet though. I think I will after a while when it'll have its own memes on the go.

    I never visited /int/ and I hadn't even registered /new/ was ever so I don't actually know what it was about and now it's gone before I even acknowledged its presence. I used /trv/ for like a month till I realised it was just the same shit over and over and over.

Please login to post a reply to this thread.

WeLiveInBeijing

WeLiveInBeijing.com is a social community for people living in or traveling to Beijing.

Powered by: Bloc