- I'm joking by the way. OF COURSE THEY BLOODY ARE!!
That's why Italian men all ride around town on those naff scooters - the quicker to get to their illicit liaisons! It's ciao to Maria then hop on the scooter and off to Bianca's. Then ciao bella to Bianca and, quite literally, onto Maria. Then back to the wife, dodge a flying plate or two and head to the office to do like... 20 minutes work before having a three hour lunch break and a dozen tiny cups of tar-like coffee to keep the energy up. Even a Frenchman would get tired just looking at an Italian's daily womanising schedule! An Italian friend of mine had a big party recently. He told me it was because he had become a "centurion". Apparently, that's slang for a man who has cheated on his wife with a hundred women! The funny thing is that his wife was at the party! In Italy, if the husband does not cheat on his wife she will feel he does not love her enough. Can you imagine! After a few years of that she will even neglect to throw plates at him! It is considered an empty marriage. The wife will divorce the husband on grounds of failing to cheat. There's not a court in Italy that would throw such a case out! I know an Italian judge who halves his normal bribe rate for such cases. In Italy, being in the mafia is considered a respectable job. Doctor, Lawyer, Mafiosi; but not to cheat on your wife makes you barely even a man! If you've been to Italy you will certainly find their driving style familiar. In fact, Marco Polo brought back the secrets of Chinese Driving Style when he was off around the globe on a marathon wife-cheating session. In Beijing, when a driver is cut off by another car he will roll down his window and use some traditional jingma to cuss the other guy "nimalegebishabicaonimade!" or some similar permutation of swears (there are as many as rooms in the Forbidden City, I'm told). In Italy, the drivers use the "devil horns"- a hand gesture that signifies a man who does not cheat on his wife!