What's the real meaning of open relationship and its limitations? still confusing for me...
What's the real meaning of open relationship and its limitations? still confusing for me...
Simple, this is when men want women to open for them without any other considerations like love, money or dating.
And i am sober because yesterday i was morning.
An "open relationship" as defined by most, is a relationship that does not feature monogamy as its main tenet. People in open relationships are allowed (to varying degrees) to have intimate relations with other people.
For example: a man and a woman have established an open relationship. They agree that both parties may have sex with other people, but are not allowed to actually spend the night/sleep with their extra partners.
The "rules" of open relationships vary from person to person.
And this is how bored I am.
I once had a Chinese girl tell me she was in an "open relationship." I thought "hmm, OK I guess I'm gonna bang a girl who has a boyfriend tonight" but later on she revealed that she thought open relationship meant a relationship that the rest of the world knew about. As in the openness referred to the fact that the relationship wasn't a secret.
Mike, do you mean it is the same as NSA?
NSA is essentially just the physical act of sex. You don't really need to be in a relationship, open or otherwise, to be looking for NSA sex.
An open relationship isn't exactly the same as NSA. You can have a very serious relationship with your partner whilst still being open to sleeping with other people for any number of reasons. It's difficult to really define explicitly because it does vary from person to person but as Mike has already pointed out, a relationship is traditionally seen as exclusive(you don't fuck other people, basically!) whereas an open relationship is the opposite(you can fuck other people).
So i was right. It does not involve love, but just a relationship between two people that has no commitment and love, but some passion maybe and sex full stop.
Well, not really. There are loads of situations where two people who love each other would agree that they could sleep with other people. Off the top of my head:
-One partner is disabled from the waist down.
-One partner has a higher sex-drive
Not everyone has a black and white idea of what constitutes a loving relationship. Just because most people think loving someone means you only want that person doesn't mean everyone thinks that way or believes that, there are alternatives to this commonly-held belief.
I can see it would be showing great love to allow your girlfriend sleep with another man because she might have a high sex drive than you have. Ohh, well, love seem to still remain a mystery.
Is there something like a closed relationship and ajar relationship?
My buddies and I took some acid. We were out on a drive in one of those talking cars. So we pull over and it says "the door is ajar".
We thought about that for like eight hours, man.
"The door is a jar...but how can a door be a jar...why would they put a jar on a car??"
"The road is melting..."
"Put it in the jar!"
- paraphrasing from an excellent Bill Hicks bit about driving while taking acid.
No COOL, there is no such thing as a "closed" or "ajar" relationship. Although I think some people might feel that way sometimes.
"love seem to still remain a mystery"
Something like that, yes.
Hahhahaa, you did not know what "ajar" meant? So you were looking for a jar on the door!!!
Open relationships demand a lot more work from all parties involved in order to be emotionally fulfilling. It's nothing like "no strings attached" sex.
A lot of people think it's all fun in games but it really is a lot harder than a "normal" monogamous relationship. Any sign of drama and people start gossiping that the girl is a slut or a whore, and that the guy is gay or a pimp.
In fact, people misinterpret "open" as meaning active, fun, or not serious. In fact openness connotes honesty and straightforwardness in English. But this meaning is lost in translation.
More often, people who go for this sort of thing are just disillusioned with the commodification of romantic relationships.
JZ, about half of my Chinese friends from Beijing who were living in the states had ”open relationships" with their girlfriends back home. Basically, the guys were allowed to fuck everyone they could get their hands on, as long as they didn't tell the girls about it. The girlfriends were always aware of it though.
The conditions for the girls were slightly different. They could date and have sex with whoever they wanted, but they were required to pretend that the guys were just friends, and the boyfriends would never be required to admit that the girls were also having sex with other guys.
Or maybe this is just called "mutual cheating"?
Then it is not an open relationship. I think with open, both must know that my girl is now having sex with a man at this time and that my boyfriend is having sex with a girl right now. That is being open. You can even call him when you are busy and tell him the fun you are having or even let him hear the noises, sorry, cries, sorry again, whipping, again sorry.....
How do they call that sound?
I think conclusion is "open sex behind the curtain", am I right?
Why put a curtain?
Just to make people curious ;)
Ehh, you always thought it means to make the rest know that these two are in a relationship. Poor young girl Miss K in Fall. Too bad, you are totally wrong.
Miss K in Fall,
Me or God. Please be specific. Do not make my heart bleed.
@ Smile Love.
This is so poetic. Why use Elizabethan English or to say, Shakespeare's English. Please, a little soft for some of us. What do you mean fair lady?
Hahahaha. A lot of Chinese gals' profiles on this site just got more hilarious. Oh the confusion. No wonder everyone here is so frustrated all the time.
Some people have limited imaginations.
That is if you can close it tight. Otherwise, you might think you have closed it and we find another thread just like many here about how you should be a friend to an ex, and how you still have feelings. If you close it, close it water tight and throw the keys to me to keep them for you.
Not so? Hahahhaa
That's because women are the fairer sex and they have the good sense and modesty not to share details of their personal lives on a public forum full of unwashed goons like you, particularly not when it comes to controversial alternative lifestyles.
does it mean you ar not date any more~and aware of u ar in a relationship？？？
Sai na: Now it turns out that it means" I have a bf/gf, but I may say yes if you want to bang me"
Haha, but I think that's what "it's complicated" means. I guess the difference is that in an "open relationship" the partner knows that you're trying to bang other people.. I see lots of girls with "it's complicated", and it always means available.
@ Yumiko: as explained above by people, in open relation you can even have sex with your friend's lover.
do you remember when you went with your parents in a toy-store, and daddy or mum said to you: what toy do you want? if you want this toy then the others no....
this is the same in one sense
some kids know what they truly want, no doubts, and they don´t need have the door open.
other kids don´t know what they want, they fear have only this toy (maybe in the future they will be boring of play with this toy, so better have many). They are in a open relation with their toys :P
the limitations? compromise and take seriously the relation, becasue this is just for fun.
live the life with light luggage, all us know that the modern life is uncertainty, and social situations change very fast, one day you are working in one city and the next day in other bla bla bla, so ties and compromises are not the winner tactic, better have 1500 lights friends on myspace than 8 real friends, a solid net of hundred weak ties will be the winner bet, isn´t it?
@Yumiko, J. Phillip,
"as explained above by people, in open relation you can even have sex with your friend's lover."
Nobody said that, and that's an astoundingly stupid conclusion to draw. Just because someone is in a non-exclusive relationship doesn't mean their friends are, or that they're incapable of regard for their friends' feelings.
@ Dando: you mean people should discuss about "sex with friend's lover" in words? the statement, sex with anyone doesn't include "friend's lover" ? haha.. :)
Search for "sex with anyone" produces 0 results.
All "open relationship" means is that people are in a committed relationship but it's not exclusive. They can see other people. That does not imply that they sporadically fuck in the street like animals in heat. Are you trolling, or are you really this thick?
ITT: dumb shit breeders believe, OR: why Dando will be on the robots' side during the apocalypse.
assuming the robots would have you on their side...
face it, the apocalypse will not be a golden age of troll appreciation...
You call this trolling? Please.
I'm pretty confident that our future robot overlords will be motivated by cutthroat utilitarianism rather than ideological purity, and can recognize and exploit this useful idiot. Are your robots Republicans?
? what's NSA short for?
no strings attached sex
selfish & self-deceiving
So "open relationship" means no serious involve for boys,but for some reason girls think it should be serious to them and let everyone else know it....
Isnt it a joke...
I know many people (mainly girls, of course) on this site who have "open relationship" (some call it "sex partners", or maybe that meant entirely something else?), but as Rui/Rose might have hinted, most of them are actually looking for committment, sadly, they found none and hence had to settle for the second best, i.e. an open rel ...
love & relationship r totally different things!!!!
@ Dando: haha... ok then tell me what people here think about open relationship?
People here think?
That's rather insulting. I mean, perhaps the boyfriend/girlfriend status is sort of ambiguous in an open relationship, people are still nonetheless friends. And isn't camaraderie serious? Or do you only keep your friends around for talking to when you're bored of your boyfriend?
Why don't you clarify yourself before I'm compelled to crudely point out the contradictions in those last two sentences?
@ Dando: HERE stands for in this discussion.
That's a terrible acronym.
@ Dando: Hmmm? I didn't use any acronym..
though much later, I still wanna thank C.Lim times.
And... you fucking fail. Go stand in the corner. You should feel ashamed for what you've done here. Sex isn't for joy and pleasure? I don't know about you, pal, but I don't think about reproduction when I've got my face buried in my partner's gash.
Being friends-with-benefits means there are no emotions involved, you say? Where the hell do you get that idea? You don't have any emotional regard for your friends? Anyone who undervalues friendships in such a way ought not to be involved in something they (mistakenly) regard as "more serious". The longer this thread continues the more certain I am that it's this illusive monogamist philosophy that's broken.
As for the contradiction you failed to clear up: polygamy refers to an institution of marriage where one can be wed to more than one person. That's marriage--a socially sanctioned relationship where two (or in this case more than two) people share a home and resources. More often than not, it's sanctified by a religion (i.e. old school Mormonism and many forms of Islam). Polygamists are not swingers, they don't normally engage in NSA sex, and it does not sanctify extra-marital affairs.
Or, if you prefer, polygamy constitutes a "relationship"--maybe even one where you put your hands up and flex your fingers to make little quotation marks like a prick. Thus, comparing an open relationship to polygamy invalidates your statement that an open relationship is not really a relationship.
Luckily, open relationships have nothing in common with polygamy other than being different from what you think of as so-called "traditional" romantic monogamist marriage that's only been popular among the masses for the last hundred years or so.