Discussion » Film & TV » What thing you would do, if you ever became an evi

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    what things you would do, If you ever became an evil overlord ???

    This list is an old thing in internet (maybe 10 years ago). basicaly is a collection of the common and stupid mistakes that the bad guys always do in books and movies.

    here some (caution!!! don´t read before go to the cinema to watch action movies): 

    • When I have captured my adversary and he says, Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?- I will say: -No- and shoot him. No, on second thought I will shoot him then say -NO-
    • After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
    • One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
    • The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
    • I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
    • No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
    • My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
    • I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
    • I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
    • If the beautiful princess that I capture says: I will never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!! I will say: Oh well. and kill her.

     

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:
    • The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
    • If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner
    • My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
    • I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
    • When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
    • I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time
    • If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
    • I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
    • My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
    • If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
    • Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

     

    here the complete list http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Well ... that's a bit silly for me to answer, because I will do exactly what I am doing now ... i.e. "evil deeds" ...

  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:

    Darth Vader was a psycho-dad in that moment, first cut the hand of his own son and later says- i´m your father- ?_? what did he want to obtain doing that?
    the things would be pretty different if he had said in the first moment, i´m your father (without dismember)

    seems that the evil overlords in movies and books need take courses about how to be fathers.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahahaha ... need to change the channel :)

    "古惑仔"和"无间道"...那些黑帮老大,也是坏人啊,但他们的责任很重的...下面一班小的,吃粥吃饭,就看他们了...

     

  • 随便叫兽
  • Saint - Spartacus

    as a death deity to call the one who deserved

    guid people have a trip of the past

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