Discussion » Nonsense » How to talk to a Raped Friend

  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:
    a friend of mine was raped last Saturday. she used to be a sweet girl and now she is being rude to everyone. i do understand her pain but i just want a way of talking to her to make things better. now we cant have a normal conversation because i am a guy. she was raped by a guy. she has lost faith in men. now i wanna help but i just dont know how to convince her to calm down so that me and her other friends can take further steps in trying to make her heal
  • Cecilie Reksten
    i think the best way is do not talk to her for a while and ask her female friends to comunicate with her.after when she feel better i think u can talk to her
  • THIS IS A BIG IMAGE
    Introduce her to some lesbian friends and _record_ _everything_
  • Suzzane Mccusker
    I happend to know a girl who got raped too. But other than sympathy, I'm more like : ok, it's your own problem, not mine. Learn to deal with it.

    You might be shocked, how could I treat a raped girl like this! Well, let me explain.

    Two week before she got raped, she was harrassed by a male friend. She went home barefooted and scared. I was very angry, I told her if she needs it, I could call 2 or 3 guys to go to that asshole's apt and teach him a lesson. Guess what she said: suan le, he is my friend, he was drunk. Then I spent a whole day to explain there is a difference between being a friend and being a "friend" but still want to rape you. No kidding, a whole day, to let her know that she can't just blindly believe all her male friends.

    She was touched by my kindness and friendness. and promosed that she'd learned this lesson, she wound't let herself get drunk while being with male friends.

    Two weeks later, she got raped, by another male friend. She was too drunk to even remember.

    The two guys know each other btw.

    What can I say? Bitch, you deserve it.

  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:
    its kinds different from ur scenario Vicky.....thanks Mario that sems to be more liikely it......Ryan, i wish i knew some lesbian friends but it could work u know better than me....im just concerned about her...she is a very sweet person and a horrible thing happened to her.
  • Jamie Wen
    Jamie Wen wrote:
    Yeah,some girls just do not know how to protect themselves. They are naive.
  • A豆腐
    A豆腐 wrote:
    Don´t force the situation, now try do something that she doesn´t want is the worst thing that you can do. Only stay near of her, in this way she will know that she can count on you in whatever thing she needs.
    I would want say you these things can be forgotten, but not, these things are scars in the character of persons.
    I feel sorry for you friend.
  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:
    life is really not fair to see innocent young intellectual people suffer these things.....though she might not forget it one day she will heal....
  • Lanyan
    Lanyan wrote:
    Hard to believe that you all have such friends that has (merely) been raped,ai! I am so pure.
  • Stian Moe
    Stian Moe wrote:
    my advice just let her know that u re there for her, at anytime that she would liek to talk about it, or just talk, she might know that she can count with u. I think she needs time is not easy for her, TRUST ME in this I CAN TELL
  • Suzzane Mccusker
    Hmm.....how about that rapist? Find that guy and report to the police.

    Show the girl that she is not the saddiest person in this world. Lots of other girls expereinced, and survived.

    And remember, time can heal everything.
  • Sasha 莎莎 Wang
    There isn't anything you can do but let her know you're there for her, and then wait till she comes to you.
  • ****
    **** wrote:
    there is nothing you can do, this is a private difficult experience for a women and she need a lot of time to get over.

    i suggest you leave her alone for a month but not totally alone, you show her that if she wants to talk or do something you are right behind her ready to help her.

    don't stand in her way, she might turn more to herself.

    so be there without beeing too obvious, watch her closely
  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:
    @Vicky Y. : Wow girl you are very unsympathetic when it comes to women being raped. Did you know that victim blaming is the reason most rapes go unreported? Many women also blame themselves because of rumors circulated about women and how they should act a certain way in order not to be raped, however this is a very bad view to have. Women should be able to enjoy all the same privileges as male without being in danger of rape. However the reality of the mater is it is a mans world and all males enjoy the benefits of women being rapable. Men keep women in fear and women must take certain precautions in order to avoid being raped.

    Your friend may not necessarily be naive, she may just be thinking in a logical fashion and arrive at the idea that she is safe because males can be friends without trying to fuck their female friends against their will. Perhaps she believes that friends do not rape friends. I think this a reasonable thought when you think about what should be. However, women are rapable and men are the rapists.

    Vicky I hate to break it to you but you are not safe either. No mater how strong you think you are and how smart you believe yourself to be. Just remember the words you said about your friend if you become a rape statistic............ Rape is not women's fault and they should not be blamed for a mans inability to understand what no means. They definitely are not to blame.

    Did you know the 1/5 of women encounter a rape situation and more often than not it is a person she knows who is the rapist? Learn this: Until we can end all institutions that perpetuate sexual violence against women women will never be safe from being raped. It is an unfair advantage that men have over women. The penis is a weapon and the vagina is rapable. As soon as man figured out that he can use his penis as a weapon this inequality became apparent.

    You should be ashamed of yourself for saying what you said. Women like you are the reason most women do not report their rapes. Good luck and I hope you never have to experience rape like your friend did.

  • Sasha 莎莎 Wang
    well said, Kodi.
  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:
    im guessing Vicky is also assuming this is just some kind of Joke too....on that note I dont blame her.. but I am just asking her to somehow grow a heart when it comes to such sensitive issues.....Vicky u will never know when is your turn ans u will need people to talk to you, to be with you, to protect you.....so just put away the crap and just put urself in the poor little girl's shoes......I just wanna find ways of helping her heal, and I am gonna do exactly what most of the guys have said here. they are being realisticly sensitive to issue and they advices are truly positive...thanks guys
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Q1: Ashley, why would you drag the term "Chinese" into the discussion?

    Q2: Mathew, is the victim Chinese?
  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:
    yes she is a Chinese from Guangzhou but studying here in Beijing
  • №❶ Passioη
    @ Kodi - As usual, Well said, But men are also "rapable". I have been raped by female twice in my life and I still can't get over it. I get scared when I see a group of female on the street. Female are dangerous, that's why I never give out my number to them... But no one has cared to show me any sympathy though :(

    @ Ashley - I think Vicky Y was only expressing how stubborn and unstoppable some young females are, in their urge for the kind of fun that conceals these dangers. I also have a sweet friend who was rapped in a similar way because she was feeling safe sleeping in the same bed with "gays" no matter how many times I warned her. Experience is still the best teacher

    Females understand better the gravity of compassion each female deserves according to the scenario. No need to worry too much about them.... it's a lesson that almost everyone learns sometime in life.... and it takes time to get over it just like a heartbreak and other unpleasant circumstances in life. That's how people learn..

    As for me, I think nature plays a huge part since it has a lot of natural instincts playing from both sides (male and female) before the incidence... More so the impossibility of quantifying the cause, effect, pleasure and / or pain on both sides. Who's really to blame! Who gains! who looses! Quite hard to tell in many cases.

    BTW, I'm gonna rape someone tonight... Shshshshhhh, don't tell her. As soon as she comes back, I grab her and throw on the bed... :D
  • Minger
    Minger wrote:
    Allow me to clear up some misconceptions posted by overly feminist people and and pseudo-sensitive guys trying to make overly naive girls think they'll treat them right...

    1. No means no: I'm sorry, but no it fucking doesn't, and anyone who's seduced a new girl for the first time knows that. Screaming for help and for the guy to stop means no. Crying means no. Biting to draw blood and clawing at eyes means no. Softly whispering no while feebly pushing the guy away means "fuck me bad boy". I'm being intentionally offensive and out of character because I want your attention. If you're too embarrassed to scream for help and claw out the eyes of your guy "friend", then that's consensual sex. Use a rubber and enjoy it.

    2. Men have a "moral compass", and rape is a crime of only a few sick twisted men, so I'm safe around my guy friends: No, rape is absolutely normal behavior for many (if not most) animals. There are 3 types of mate selection that I'm aware of.
    i) Seduction - this includes puffing up your feathers, fighting with the other bull, building her a nice nest, or romantic dating.
    ii) Sneakiness - in other animals, this is the little rodent that sneaks up and bangs the female while the two alpha males are fighting over her. In humans it's the guy who tells you he loves you right away, the guy who parks a borrowed luxury car outside your campus, or the "friend" who offers to take you home and quietly sneaks you out of the club when your tipsy and your boyfriend started something with the guy you were dancing with.
    iii) Rape - Do I need to explain this? It works the same way in wasps, ducks, chimps, and people. Male wants to bang female and will whenever it gets the chance.
    The only thing stopping men from raping women are legal systems, social laws (how you were raised) and the aversion to hurting people they (might) care about. NO I'm not arguing that rape is ok. I don't ever like seeing women hurt, and those social standards are necessary for societies to function. BUT, girls need to understand that it is human nature, you're just as likely to be raped by the friend walking you home as the guys on the street he was supposed to be warding off, and really quite likely to be raped by the drunk guy who you don't know all that well and got in the room alone with. (Drunk means loss of social inhibitions, and didn't really know you that well means doesn't actually care if he hurts you or not, so maybe all that's left is legal consequences. Does he believe you're going to press charges?)


    And finally, when is a rape not a rape? When it's a two month consensual affair!
    http://www.chinahush.com/2009/10/08/posting-and-making-fun-of-a-rape-case-online-policewoman-accused-of-being-unethical/
    I half feel like women such as those filing the complaint in the linked story deserve to be raped, because it's half their fault that people don't take rape claims seriously.


    That all being said, Mathew and Vicky I'm very sorry for your friends. Vicky, yes your friend is an idiot, but she probably didn't know better, given that she had never been raped before. It doesn't mean she deserved it.
    Passion, I'm really sorry that happened to you. I hope you can recover.
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Mathew ... if you dont mind ...

    Q1: how long have you known this friend? ... my guess is less than one year, is that correct?

    Q2: under what circumstances did this happen? a semi-public place such as some dark room in a bar or the back alley ... in the office? etc?

    Q3: do you know who did it? her boyfriend? her boss? some total stranger?

  • Aurélien
    Aurélien wrote:
    This is becoming indecent. You guys wanna some pics of the rape too?

    inb4 But that's for help.

    herp a derp.
  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:
    Q1: how long have you known this friend? ... my guess is less than one year, is that correct?

    A1: More than a year actually (before i was an active member of WLIB)

    Q2: under what circumstances did this happen? a semi-public place such as some dark room in a bar or the back alley ... in the office? etc?

    A2: She didn't want to share this apparently it would flashback to some painful memories but she will tell me after sometimes

    Q3: do you know who did it? her boyfriend? her boss? some total stranger?

    A3: Not her BF cos the BF is still in HK, not her boss she is not yet employed, so maybe a total stranger or maybe not (it could be a friend) she still didn't want to talk about it due to a similar reason,


    the thing is still fresh in her mind, as it just happened last Saturday and she did not tell any of her classmates
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    The amount of victim-blaming bullshit being spouted off by idiots upstairs is frankly stultifying. I have half a mind to rape some of you with a large blunt instrument.

    Chicks have a right to go out drinking and dress however the fuck they want without living in constant fear of getting raped. Yeah, they should be mindful of the harsh realities of drinking and do what they can to defend themselves, but it's never right to say "she asked for it". This is one of the reasons why rapes often go unreported and unpunished. It's bad enough to be physically and emotionally violated and branded with the label of "raped girl" and treated as damaged goods. You want to laugh at them for being foolish, on top of that?

    A girl who has the courage to say "I was raped" has more balls than you cowardly assholes, whether or not she actually confronts her attacker.

    Real men don't rape. And indulging in the fantasy is a goddamned joke. Read (or watch) Choke by Chuck Palahniuk. Best depiction of rape fantasy roleplay gone awry. Ever.



    Passion,
    Go climb a wall of dicks back from whence you came, you assclown. No woman would rape you, even if she could borrow someone else's cunt to do it.



    莫明,
    Uh, no does in fact mean no. And if it doesn't mean 'no' every time, it sure as shit should. Maybe it's not rape in some specific cases but that's definitely rape-enabling behavior to encourage chicks to act so goddamned childish. I've stopped just short of shagging such a girl who was otherwise pretty forward, just to prove a point that she ought to grow the fuck up. If I wanted to roleplay I'd have brought d20s instead of condoms.

    It's not human nature for men to rape, and it's not human nature for women to be infantile and duplicitious. Otherwise we'd all behave completely identically. Think about that. If you think that rape is human nature, then it follows that not raping is unnatural. Shit. Really?

    If there is any such thing as human nature, it is in our nature to choose. Dismissing inhumanly stupid behavior as human nature is as unbelievably retarded as saying "the devil made him do it".

    +1 Kodi, Ashley. Never mind the white knight accusations.
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Not gonna touch this with a 10 foot pole.

    Just came here to comment on something:

    莫明: "No means no: I'm sorry, but no it fucking doesn't, and anyone who's seduced a new girl for the first time knows that."

    In general, I agree with you, but rape isn't limited to physical coercion. You can seriously mind-fuck a girl until she agrees to sleep with you too. I'd say that's still considered rape, it's just more subtle and doesn't necessarily involve clubbing her with a uh... club.

    I will admit though... and this is true even more so in China, girls have been conditioned to reject sex even if they want it. So you do get a lot of girls who say no even though they don't want you to stop. I think most men who enjoy the company of women are logical enough that they can tell the difference between a real no and a "I just don't want to seem easy" no. I was with a girl once who fought me every time we had sex and whenever we were finished, we'd always set up a time to do it again. Notice how in role-play, the safe word is never "no."

    Still, I'd like to say that rape is never a woman's fault. No matter how much you cock-tease a guy, he should know when he needs to stop pushing and move on. The only time it's a woman's fault is when she consents to it and then cries rape afterwards because she regretted sleeping with the guy. Now that is some bullshit.


    Matthew, sorry about your friend. I've nothing to add except to echo that if you talk to her, reassure her that it's not her fault and she did nothing wrong. Stay away from her if she wants you to.
  • Suzzane Mccusker
    Wow, this is getting interesting.

    I'm sorry if i gave you Ashley some kind of impression that I'm the one who EMBARRASSED Chinese girls n China... pfffff. Read my second post, then speak. I was the first one who said the girl should report the criminal to the police. Does that make me a heartless person?

    My friend is a completely idiot. With her friends' kindly warning, but still decided to hang out with the same group of guys, and stayed late and got drunk with the guys who already tried to do bad things to her... How does that sound to you?

    Even after she got raped, all other friends were trying to help her and asked her to report that rapiest to the poilice, she still considers the guy who hurt her is one of her friends and didn't listen to any one of us. How does that sound to you? 

    I was just talking about that stupid girl. Did I say anything like all girls that got raped r stupid? NO. If you can see this, then obviously, you r.

    Rapiest r everywhere. If those girls who got raped don't do anything about that and still allow them doing what they want outta there, then rest have to learn to protect themselves. That's my point. If you didnt understand and make your own conclusion and try to judge others, you r the stupidest one here.

    @ kodi: thanks for your understanding. as many others who can read the meaning out of lines. I know, physically, girls r not very safe competing with strong, evil-willing rapiest. But I think girls should as least not give them the impression that she is easy to be controlled. Most of rapiest won't target to those strong and tall and tough-looking girls, according to lots of studies. They prefer girls with long hair (easy to grab), with no embrella and such things in hand, and wearing one piece dress (easy to take off)... Rapiest have fears too. If giving them too much stress and make them feel that ok, this one is not easy, i'm not safe here, then the chance of surviving will become larger.

    @ no passion: ah, then we had the same experince. really, when you warned someone lots of times, she didnt listen and finally bad things really happened to her, it really sucks. i still remember how pissed off i was when i heard the bad news. and yes, Experience is the best teacher.
  • Minger
    Minger wrote:
    Dando: Your explanation seems to make it clear you actually don't think no means no, at least not all the time. I think your story of not shagging a girl who was otherwise willing but said "no" is hilarious. It would be great if there was a universal safe word, but there just isn't. Some girls from a certain (bloody confusing) culture even say "yes" when they mean no. That's why I provide above three great ways to say "no don't rape me" that everyone understands.

    By human nature, I mean basic instinct. The desire is there on some level, it doesn't mean that we have to cater to it. Basically everything that there's a law against is something that someone would otherwise do, but we're better off as a society of people don't do it. There are some people I'd like to Chuck Norris out a skyscraper window, it doesn't mean I do it. I'm not trying to excuse rapists at all, I'm just trying to say that girls need to be careful. It's not your fault, but you should do your best to stop it from happening anyway.

    Jon: "I was with a girl once who fought me every time we had sex..." You sick sick rapist, I hope you burn in hell :-p
    "You can seriously mind-fuck a girl until she agrees to sleep with you..."
    Teach me! How can I use this against my girlfriend?


    In this multicultural world, people have vastly differing understandings of things. I know guys who think it's not rape to have sex with a girl when she's passed out drunk or sleeping. I now also know one guy (Dando ^^) who will stop anytime a girl says no even though she wants to have sex. Definitely I prefer people to err on Dando's side, but it doesn't mean that people will.
    For all I know, there are cultures where a girl won't get drunk and pass out in your house unless she wants to have sex with you. How do you know whether the guy your with isn't from one of those cultures?
  • №❶ Passioη
    P.G 25, Read only if your name is on the SFA list ;)

    1. Jon Gu wrote: "rape isn't limited to physical coercion. You can seriously mind-fuck a girl until she agrees to sleep with you too. I'd say that's still considered rape, it's just more subtle and doesn't necessarily involve clubbing her with a uh... club."

    2. Jon Gu wrote: "The only time it's a woman's fault is when she consents to it and then cries rape afterwards because she regretted sleeping with the guy. Now that is some bullshit."

    Hello? Anyone sees how terrible human logic does explaining how nature works?. Other "rape experts" should please explain the following true statements:

    1. Someone wants to be "sexy" to all but doesn't wanna have "sex" with all.
    2. A female you don't touch in your bed today may never call you tomorrow.
    3. Women are, but not just sex objects. Only the prude claim women are NOT.
    4. Men are also rape victims (mostly the young), What could be the cause!
    5. There is a period in every female's life when she acts unstoppably careless (Applies to when she doesn't have a partner, fockmate, language partner or whatever you call it) happens about once a month, and it's natural.
    6. Most women want LOVE and CARE (preferably from a man sex worthy in their eyes), Most men want SEX (some from anything under skirts). Fair trade...

    ======================

    @ Dando Z, I wonder if you never get tired of attacking me LOL... if no woman ever raped you, Bravo... then you're seemingly lucky but then your experience with women is not close to being adequate enough to fairly comment here :P But still I'll raise the white flag for the "Jesus" who drinks and smokes, what a bad joke!

    Although the forum rule states that you shall not make anything commercial, Let's make you an exception by letting your prude ass advertise your 'small' blunt and inactive red instrument + an excessively claimed moral consciousness. It's more appropriate to say you're a retarded seeker of erotic mercy from females, than proclaim your fake sanity here.. :D Oops :x --- Message Truncated ----

    =========================

    @ Matthew - Just let her be, females prefer to talk in details to other female about stuff like this, just like they prefer to learn from other female about a male... So for now, just say you don't fit. And when she get's over it, she may not want to keep the memory by talking to you about it anymore... just let it go.

    If she was really raped against her will and you care so much, the best you can do like I did in my case is help her get that person, get his true side of the story (of course by force) and if it's worth it, teach him a lesson to give him something to be equally shamed about, especially in front of her. You can agree with me it's not easy to do in China but she would feel more consoled and confident in herself if you could.

    And if you could, it would be a bit too far to go if she hadn't paid the "groom price"...
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    Passion,
    Do you stay up all night thinking about small dick jokes? You need some more material. If you want to see a really bad joke, look in the mirror.

    You can take potshots at me because I don't brag about my sexual conquests on the Internet. It works in my favor, because it filters out all the dumb little girls who're impressed by dickswinging and pissing contests.



    莫明,
    Ain't it? Well I figure that if a girl thinks that's going to attract a guy, she's also probably the type of girl who thinks she can just lay there like a dead fish. There's nothing fun about that. Yeah, I'll admit that some girls say "no" and mean yes. But they shouldn't. And dudes shouldn't reward that kind of behavior. It encourages passivity. And who likes chicks to be passive in bed?

    Anyway. I for one don't take biting, kicking, and screaming as meaning "no".

    It's easy to tell a girl to fight back if she's ever raped. But it becomes more complicated when it involves a friend or acquaintance or an authority figure who is using other forms of power over her besides simple physical aggression. And even when a man is being physically aggressive, some girls are afraid of making the attacker angrier, and they think that just laying there will prevent them from being injured further.

    How do you survive a bear attack? You play dead.

    But instincts are illusions. It's really only an instinct if it is uniform across the entire species. And there are plenty of men who do not associate sex with aggression. There are plenty of women who are not passive participants, as well. These are learned behaviors, not instincts.
  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:
    @Vicky: Well a girl who was raped will definitely not hang out with guy who supposedly raped her.... If she was raped she would be afraid of they guy. At most she was probably exploited like many girls are and then felt embarrassed about it. That sucks.... I hope she can wise up.

  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:
    Research indicates that the first person a victim/survivor tells about their assault(s) often guides their future willingness to talk about/report the incident(s). This means that if the first person they tell believes them, is empathetic, and supportive then the victim/survivor is more likely to trust others with the information. They are then more likely to seek further help including help from law enforcement and therapists. However, if the first person that they tell does not believe them, is judgmental, victim blaming, and unsupportive, then the victim/survivor is likely to shut down and not go on to seek help or tell others. With this in mind what helpful things have you learned this week about responding to victims/survivors?

    When responding to victims/survivors of sexual violence it is important to use supportive language. You should assure them that it is not their fault because victims may some times resort to blaming themselves. Be very sensitive to their feelings and perhaps express how sorry you are that this happened to them. It is important that they feel empathy from the person responding to the incident to prevent them from feeling like the respondent does not care, for this may cause them to clam up about the issue and not trust the respondent with information about the incident. Use supportive language to assure them that they did nothing wrong. For example, telling them that they did the best they could is a good thing, which encourages trust. The respondent should thank them for telling him/her about the incident to make he/she feel like it is the right thing to do. Make them feel as safe as possible by telling them that they are safe now and no one will hurt them. The respondent should as how he/she can help. This will give the victim control over telling the respondent how to help. The above can also prevent the victim from feeling like he/she is not in control of the situation because the shock of the rape may make them feel very vulnerable already. Avoid language that may make the victim feel like he/she is being ordered around. Avoid using the word rape repeatedly. Avoid aggressive movements and probing or actions that may make the victim uncomfortable.
  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:
    The above is my response to a rape relief training course at my university. I am a member of the anti-rape coalition in Hawaii and a member of the activist group INCITE which works to outline community based programs that do not rely on law enforcement to alleviate the pervasive problem of rape in a male run society.

    #1 Passion: Cmon bro I could understand if you were raped by a male, but unless the girls penetrated your anus then you were not raped. The penis must be hard in order to be exploited, a hard penis is a sign of arousal. I do not know of many men who will say no to a girl while he is aroused. The penis is the weapon, not the Vagina. However, if the women penetrated you anus or forced you to perform oral sex while retraining you somehow then that can qualify as a sexual assault or sexual violence, however if you had intercourse with them then you may have to explain this a little more in depth to help me understand how it constitutes rape.

  • Petter Meisfjordskar
    Let not anyone pretend that there is anything you can do at the time. The only way is to take her to Tun pub or so and make her forget, which forgetting is difficult at times. Full stop.
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    Goddammit Kodi, you're a brilliant sociologist all right, but my jiaozi isn't agreeing with me and asking Passion for graphic details about how he was pegged by the mamasan of the local jack shack certainly isn't going to help.
  • Minger
    Minger wrote:
    Kodi:
    "Cmon bro I could understand if you were raped by a male, but unless the girls penetrated your anus then you were not raped. The penis must be hard in order to be exploited, a hard penis is a sign of arousal. I do not know of many men who will say no to a girl while he is aroused. The penis is the weapon, not the Vagina."

    Man, someone should spread peanut butter on your johnson while you're sleeping and let a dog lick it off so you can realize the inaccuracy of your claim. Or maybe a 500 lb woman should sit on you and lick you until you get aroused. I'm pretty sure it will happen. It still means rape. By your logic, if the girl has an orgasm while being raped, then it's not rape, since she was aroused.
  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:
    this is an Explicit version of my post.....
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    莫明,
    As those are both things that I might brag about to my guy pals after a few drinks, I'm having a hard time thinking of either situation as being even comparable to rape.
  • Minger
    Minger wrote:
    Dando,
    Eww.
  • Undermoonlight
    Mathew Abisai: You actually want us to give you some advice of how you can "trick" (or, to put it nicely----because I've "solemnly sworn to be nice", haha~~~----"persuade") the raped girl to sleep with you. Well, in my opinion, it is kind of "dangerous." Any girl who made that kind of claim would certainly make the same accusation on you, buddy~~~However, maybe it's just a game between you boys and girls...As for the definition of rape, you'd better check it out on the official law documents----must be chinese versions (on the Chinese territory, abiding the Chinese law----to my knowledge, there is no diplomatic immunity on rape), so that you can calculate the percentage of risk that you might involve in~~~
  • №❶ Passioη
    @ Dando Z - hehe keep it down you furious little pussy... don't get it wrong, a few times you've sounded clever, other times you sound like a total bitch... e.g, on this topic. And by you using the same attack I've thrown at you before in the other post (which actually fits you) makes it so boring. Can't you think of something new dear Dando? hehe

    I'd advice you to keep your little fight in the closet you dumb Jewish asshole... else rather than in-front of a breakable mirror, we can take it in front of the ladies.... come face me on stage next Thursday ladies night - Let's see what you're really made of... and let's see who's the real man. Deal?

    ===========================

    @ Kodi - It's hard to explain... The first time I was about 13 and fell victim to "girls' dorm"... the second is harder to explain... but I still remember their faces. nightmare...

    ===========================

    @ Undermoonlight - You uncircumcised inferior pussy (oops, that's "w"ussy) again. Don't you ever learn to write in paragraphs to present your points? (if you have any)... Hmm, just a thought! no cause for alarm... Matthew is making a casual conversation like everyone else... Real rapists like you never talk about it. So you either respect the topic and reasonable opinions here or piss off :P

    ===========================

    @ №❶ Passion - Let Sleeping Dogs Lie, Let Real men try, Let Little Girls Cry. It's all the work of nature...
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    莫明,
    Seriously, though. Rape carries a pretty heavy social stigma. Nobody is going to call me damaged goods for getting my taint tickled by a labrador or having some land whale sit on my face. They will laugh.

    Real rape ain't something to be laughed at. Point is, Passion here isn't taking the issue seriously.



    Passion,
    NO U MAD, bro magnon man. Keep up the chest thumping. Your Internet Tough Guy antics disgrace you more than I could ever hope to.

  • №❶ Passioη
    @ Dando Z , don't get scared it's not a boxing match but we get naked on stage in front of the ladies to see who's the real man who deserves to love his mirror... we have nothing to loose...
  • Mari Vidste
    Mari Vidste wrote:
    Wow, thanks for giving us your rape-prevention resume there, Kodi, we're all really impressed with your activism against 'male run' society. Unfortunately the feminist brain-washing machine has taken its toll on your knowledge of biology. So by your logic, if the girl gets wet, it's not rape, right?
  • Undermoonlight
    To the Nigerian scum:
    ...(You are a nonexistent object to me, ok?! Your "jungle dance" does not and will not bother me; is that clear?)...

    PS: The last time to make a response to "low lives" like you----it's not the color of your skin but your personality that disgusts people, although I still believe that maybe there is a strong link between the two. And I don't mind your African Squad attacking me, becuase you are not taken "SERIOUSLY"...
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    Passion,
    Dick measuring contests in a rape thread. You're so classy. No wonder you get all the chicks.

    Shouldn't you lay down on the couch and tell us about how those mean girls violated you and scarred you for life, making you unable to trust a woman ever again?



    柯南,
    Backlash, much?
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    While I generally agree with Kodi because I too have been brainwashed by the all-powerful feminist gynocracy, I'm going to part with him and say that a woman can coerce a man into having sex, and it could be construed as rape.

    A school teacher was banging an underage high school student? Statutory rape. Kids can't legally consent to sex. A female boss threatens to fire a male employee if he doesn't perform sexual favors? Possibly rape if he doesn't want to do it, and certainly sexual harassment.

    It's entirely possible for women to rape men. It's just exceedingly rare, and even less commonly reported because most people would consider it silly because for most guys, it's a fantasy.

    So yeah. It happens.

    But rape victims don't talk about it casually in a forum and brag like Passion, here.
  • №❶ Passioη
    my internet hitch didn't let me post this br urs :(

    @ Dando Z, not just dick, everything else that defines human masculinity :D

    I shouldn't tell you how I got raped but rather tell you 2 things:
    A: men are also victim to "rape" by female, so "rape" is not a war against female.
    B: if God came down and asked to convert all young females to male so that they don't face the greater dangers of rape, 99.99% of straight females will reject the offer. So it's not worth crying more of their tears than they do about this.

    Else you may also suitably in your excessive compassion help them cry about their menses discomfort, cry about their 'labour pain', cry about their 'broken heart moments' and cry about every other reason why it's tough to be female.

    Now, you wouldn't wanna think how that sounds ... Get upgraded ;)

    --------------------------------

    @ Undermoonlight - at least you've learned to write your crap in paragraphs for once. Congrats :) "African Squad" my ass, no one has time for crap. Move on boy and try to be wiser next time...

    ---------------------------------

    @ Vicky.Y - it's NOT "no Passion" but 'First Passion' ... You're welcome :)
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    Passion,
    Consider that line of reasoning the next time you're a victim of racism. I think your little monkey rant was pretty trivial in comparison to rape.

    And do you think I'm going to take cues on masculinity from someone who sprinkles his writing with passive-aggressive emoticons? Are you a seventeen year old girl?
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Massive intelligence failure? In no Latin based language does №❶ translate to "First." I think you're looking for "1st" here if you want people to call you First Passion. Brotha can't even get his own name straight...
  • Amalie Sæverud
    ask her to call on the police, save the evidence! and call some fellows to search the places where the loser may show up and beat him up!!!!!! Call the police!!!!!
  • Amalie Sæverud
    what's nosence discussion here! are you all grow ups? the raper will rape other gilrls! until he learn the lesson! don't let the crap go away!!!! defend yourself girls!!!! by losing trust on men or do stupid things to revenge men will only do harm to yourself!!!! Silly !!! Silly!!!! don't let others faulty to punish yourself!!! grow up! and defend yourself!!!! what's wrong here! take her to the police station and show the evidence and then go the the hospital to take examine ! hope the son of a bitch wear condom!!!

    anyway, i hope she will learn the lesson!

    I read this morning the news about the rape scandal of " Sunmoon Education" !!!! What a shock!!!! Do we always need to wait these sex offenders to ruin the lifes of hundreds women before it finally disclosed when someone learned to call the police and defend herself??!!!! We just need one !!!! one ,who know how to defend herself that will save a lot of others!!!!!!!!!

    Stop the crim now! by choose to shut up or punish herself or her friends, she is actually the accomplice of the future crim!
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    Nikkiebaby,
    Yeah, you're right. This is a stupid place to beef with trolls. My bad.

    While I do think that it takes a lot of bravery and conviction for a woman to confront a rapist, and doing so is certainly deserving of respect and admiration, there are still just as many reasons not to come forward. They're ashamed. And their shame isn't irrational or amoral. There are consequences for accusing another person of rape.

    Some people do not react appropriately:

    1) They may doubt the accusation, and believe that the girl is just trying to get attention or do social damage to the rapist.
    2) They may blame her for dressing provocatively or for drinking heavily.
    3) Men may find her less desirable after knowing she was a victim of a rape ("damaged goods")

    etc., etc.

    It's not totally foolish and I think calling a silent victim an accomplice of future rapes is a little strong, but I understand your point.
  • Amalie Sæverud
    to 单独子,

    do you read the news the rape scandal of " Sunmoon Education"?!!! This is exactly what i mean! once i thought the face of that pig , if i were the victim, i would like to kill myself or kill him! As i'm smart, i don't hurt myself by other's fault! I would like to choose to kill him! To ruin him!!! how could one don't have the courage to face the rapist? i would like to kill him with my own hands! If i were the victim, i would choose to take a camera or tape recorder, to record the evidence and neil him down, to ruin him and make his dick never dear to get up! !!! But what can i say, if once you learned to be smart, you will never face the situation! You will avoid to go to strange places with suspect man, you will stop the sexaul intention at the first place! well , maybe it's easy to say than done. but i really hope this kind of stuff will never happen,and girls will be smart enough to protect themselves! And i still hope girls have the courage to face the rapist and defend herself afterwards!

    shit, i'm just so angry!!!!! i will keep an eye on that scandal!
  • anita sønsterud
    if she is my friend,I'll suggest her to cut his cock down...
  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:
    sharpay that is she will be able to locate him...(eish ur mind is just too evil.) but that would be a good punishment for the rapist..but sometimes u should not that rape is not always done with a dick...i am just not supporting all kinds of rape
  • anita sønsterud
    so u gonna give some bid news?so she has raped with what??if wasn't a penis,in this case is more inhumane.
  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:
    yes generally u would expect rape to be done with a Penis,

    but I have seen in some Law Case Books. that a Gynecologist was charged was charged for appreciating her client's downstairs during operation.....another Gynecologist was charged for spending too much time on the operation...and all those 2 cases were labelled as rape...but this is what u expect to be done by human being....the only way the dick was involved here is only if the doctor had a hard on during the operation but that wasnt visible to provide as evidence...so not all rape cases involves a dick...i am sure there are more cases
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    Nikkiebaby,
    It's news to me. I just read one Global Times article on it, but there isn't a whole lot of specific information.
  • Erik Aleksander Aas
    Undermoonlight and No1Passion go f**ck each other - I'm almost certain you both like it up the bum, brain dead motherf**kers. Are you not intelligent enough to have a debate without going racial???
  • Petter Meisfjordskar
    I had of a lady who was asking the rapist to try hard and rape her again because during the rape, it was the first time she had an orgasm. Her husband had never made her cum before. What of such a case? Do we say it was a good rape? Nikkiebaby, what if it were you?
  • Amalie Sæverud
    Cool,

    you are not cool, and i'm not going to entertain you with my persoanal experience!
    thanks for concern about my orgasm! I can have it from normal way!
    the story you heared is a cheap porn story! but in most of the cases, the raped girls will suffer years of self-despise and trust crisis . some will recover but with a scar always there, some will give up herself and indulge herself to revenge man or the society and finally hurt herself deeply. In either way, it's a tragic!

    maybe by discussing with your mum or sisters about their attitude to rape will help you know how serious it is!
  • №❶ Passioη
    Dear Dando Z (and all other enemies of the same specie), it's so nice to see you're even more aggressive hehe. You're lucky your sister is too ugly to even get a rape attempt, so your prude ass can only pretend to emotionally connect to anything someone says against rape.. blah blah as a forum freak hoping to sound like a nice guy :D Ass! Good Luck with that...

    -----------------------

    It's interesting to know different "nikkies" have different views to "rape issues"...

    University Security Guard Raped and Killed Female Student

    Logical thinking of the first degree can be found - Down that page....

    Nikki says: "Although I really disagree with what he did, I believe this could’ve been prevented if the girl was not such a BITCH."

    G- Night
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    If only girls wouldn't simply casually ignore creepy strangers and instead politely requested that they don't rape and murder them, then crimes like this would never happen. Fucking astounding, Passion. You deserve your own talk show. Or you should advise the writers of Law and Order: SVU. You are the be-all-end-all authority on rape.

    Show us on the doll.
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Hahahaha ... only been a couple of days away, and this "baby" had grown so big and strong ...

    Excuse me for not involving myself into this "interesting" development, but only refer to the original question(s) ...

    Mathew ... based on your answers, my suggestion is to leave her alone ... in 1994, I was living in an apartment next to a blonde, she was quite friendly and attractive and all that, though I was not into her type, hahaha ... anyway, one morning the police came to ask questions, and not long after that, she moved out ... most victims of rape and violence are afraid of human contact (including verbal contact), especially when that is a male, so if you are genuinely concerned, just stay away, this is the job of another girl, not yours ...
  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:
    Oh damn guys I should have come back to explain it more clearly. Perhaps in my haste to make a post I did not clarify my point and I admit I should not have discounted anyone's rape claim.

    Of course arousal is not grounds for the dismissal of a rape claim. I fully understand that and it is very possible to be raped by women, but it is just harder for a woman to rape a man than it is for a man to rape a woman. Rape victims are very much more likely to be women than men, but that does not mean it does not happen. Ask yourself this question,

    "What things do you do every day to actively prevent yourself from becoming a rape victim?"
    If you are a guy you may find it hard to come up with answers for the above question because it is just not a common thought in our every day lives. However, women's lists may grow long and extensive without having to think very long about it.

    Feminist Ideology has not taken over my mind, but it surely has made me more aware of the power dynamic within society.

    @Passion: I did not mean to sound like I was doubting you... I thought you were joking man. If you were that young that would constitute molestation which can also be classified as a rape situation. Sorry to hear that man.


    @柯南: Nice display of aggression man.... You sure nailed that one! And you didn't even flinch, not even a little.... Ok I admit I should not have made that statement about the arousal of the penis... I should have known better than to say something that strengthens the idea that arousal automatically discounts a rape claim.

    I was trying to quickly express how tough it is to rape a guy as opposed to a female. The Vagina does not need to be wet in order to penetrate. However, the penis needs to be hard in order to penetrate. Yes men can also be penetrated, but with far more effort from the male or female trying to penetrate the unwilling male. Yes males can be and are sometimes raped. Age has its roll, size and strength can also be a factor as well as gender. Good point about the 500 lb woman sitting on a guy and licking him until he got aroused.

    Aloha
    Kodi




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