Testosterone runs pretty high on the weliveinbeijing.com website. This is a great social networking (SN) site for expats and local Chinese alike, with a toxically addicting forum and a good source of news and event invitations. Since it is not focused on existing relationships (like Facebook which tries to have only real life friends linked) but encourages people to make new contacts, for many of its users, it also serves as an active pickup and dating website. If you are a woman, you can expect to be hit on constantly by the more “randy” male members (present company is not excluded, naturally!). The members section of this site shows a photo of everyone who logs in to this website in real time: just like Pavlov’s dog, eager men are anxiously wagging their tongues and waiting for your cute picture to pop up so they can click into your profile and send you a message.
We partnered with several female members here to get an alternate perspective on the things that men say to woo and lure beautiful young ladies into their clutches. SN sites generally attract a diverse and younger crowd so all manner of men are represented here: the English Teacher leveraging his foreign face, the “hai gui” (海龟), a Chinese student studying abroad who just returned to the motherland armed with a splash of foreign culture and a cocky “we’re better than the locals” attitude, the horny sex crazed toad, and of course the would-be pick-up artist who just read “The Game” and now thinks he’s a player. Sadly, the 45 year old sleazy married business man who is looking to buy a mistress is a woefully underrepresented character in these forums, as his ilk usually sticks to the KTVs.
We've gathered over one hundred of messages in the course of a couple of days (sample size n = 157, time t = approx 50 hours) and sorted them out for your viewing pleasure. There exists a distinct dichotomy of words a man will say ranging in quality from “appalling” to “hey that’s pretty smooth.” Clearly these categories and descriptions are tinted by own prejudices against boring people, but here is our attempt at identifying the patterns and the thought process behind them.