Discussion » Food & Drink » Recipes... by people who can't cook!

  • Jon Gu - 顾晓帆
    Jon Gu - 顾晓帆 wrote:
    Hey everyone, let's share our favorite stupid and ridiculous recipes here! Stuff from your college days when you had no idea how to cook but still had to do something to get by... or from your day to day cooking if you're like me and live alone but never really learned the culinary arts.

    I'll start:

    Eggs + Chives

    Cut into small strips or slices some garlic, ginger and green onion. Simmer in cooking oil until the garlic starts to brown, then add in chives, until they become sorta soft-ish. Then, move all that stuff over to the side of the pan and add scrambled eggs to the other side so they cook separately, salt and pepper to taste. When the eggs become almost fully cooked, mix it all together. Then.... because obviously it won't taste very good, pour Worcestershire sauce and BBQ sauce on it until it tastes like BBQ chicken. Voilà, you now have something marginally palatable, even if it looks completely disgusting.

    Sadly for me, this was last night *cries myself to sleep*
  • Malin Aaker
    Malin Aaker wrote:
    Ananas flavoured chicken

    ingredients
    - chicken breasts
    - a can of ananas in its syrup
    - thick fresh cream
    - rice

    recipe
    cut the ananas in small pieces. Same for the chicken breast
    put the small pieces and the syrup in a frying pan on medium fire. Cook until it starts to make some caramel on the ananas
    fry the chicken breast in the same pan (don't take out the ananas)
    When all of this is fried, turn the fire to low
    put the fresh cream in the pan and mix everything until the cream becomes liquid

    Serve on some rice. Enjoy.
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Ananas? It's called a pineapple, you crazy Frenchman!
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Oh? And fresh pineapples is even cheaper than the canned ones in China ...
  • Malin Aaker
    Malin Aaker wrote:
    Ah yeah thanks Jon, I typed a bit too fast for my brain to translate at the same time haha!
  • Hans Petter Bjørgen Hansen
    炒饭

    Make rice in rice cooker.
    Put some oil in pan and turn fire on.
    Cut up veggies and meats to liking and/or add eggs (preferably without the shell) to the pan.
    Put rice in pan and mix all together with some MSG.
    Stir frequently until it looks edible.
    Serve and enjoy.
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Hahaha ... but the best "fried rice" should be cooked with left-over cold rice, not fresh-cooked hot rice ...
  • Børge Notkevich
    Two minute noodles :D
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Hahaha ... perhaps more and more difficult these days ... I still recommend learning how to cook properly ...
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Hahahaha ... so as an alternative, find a friend who likes to cook, one who always welcome his/her friends for a home cook meal ...
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Hahahaha ... you bring the sexy girl (or girls), let them stand in the kitchen, I will do the cooking ... does that sound like a plan to you?
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Hahahaha ... it's only cheap home cook meals, we can afford it ...
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Hahahaha ... my guess is that you will teach them the vowels? especially the "oh" and "ah" ...
  • Nadia Scheie
    Nadia Scheie wrote:
    Eggs + Chives

    plz kill me~~~~~~~
    cant u cook something else???
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Not really. Eggs + Tomatoes? Like I said, this is a thread for people who can't cook! If you feel sorry for me, wait until I get back to Beijing, and then we can all have a small party where you can cook something for us hahahaha

    I'm going to try Saibo's idea tomorrow... mmm pineapple chicken. I bet it will turn out disgusting, especially because I don't know how much salt to add (if any) and I'm going to substitute bread for rice since I'm too lazy to cook rice :P
  • Hans Petter Bjørgen Hansen
    HAHAHAHA!! omg... or as chinese girls are saying now.. o my lady gaga
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Sweet, thanks DD!
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Hahahaha ... Jon, Saibo's idea is actually very nice, there are a few similar dishes that you can find in the Chinese restaurants menus ... 咕咯肉 or 甜算排骨(but that's spare ribs, not chicken) ... or more commonly known as "Sweet and Sour Pork", and many restaurants had modified to use chicken ...

    Make sure you use fresh pineapple if you can get them, the sourness might bring out the flavour better ...
  • Nadia Scheie
    Nadia Scheie wrote:
    。。。。haha~~o my lady gaga by chinese girl????????????
    really???????????????????????
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    If we put in a bit more thought, Jon's "Eggs + Chives" can be modified in many exciting ways ... still very simple ...

    Eggs + button mushroom
    Eggs + tomato
    Eggs + bitter melon
    Eggs + 韮菜

    Saibo's chicken ... can be modifed with more sweet and sour flavour, or hot and spicy if you add some hot chilli and pepper ...

    ... and correction, that was 甜酸排骨... hahahaha ... too much caffine ...

    Diego's fried rice would probably be even better if we put in an egg or two ...
  • Sophie Qin
    Sophie Qin wrote:
    叮当,I think you are trying to say 糖醋排骨…^_^
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Hahahaha ... I was indeed referring to 甜酸排骨... pineapple will has both the sweet and sour flavour without the need of vinegar ... I also made 糖醋排骨, and I dont use pineapple ...
  • Pernille Nordlie
    toast
    beans on toast
    eggs beans and toast
    cheese on toast

    and my favourite cheesy-beany toastie
  • Andre Lund
    Andre Lund wrote:
    peanut butter and toast... + a bit of 麻酱, very delicious and easy
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Peanut butter is good, but Nutella is better!

    Going to go make some Coca-cola wings now, courtesy of Sinikka hahaha
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Speaking of which, does anyone have any good (and easy) chicken wing recipes?
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Jon ... whole wings, or mid wings?
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    I'm not sure... the wing has 3 parts, I usually cut them in half so the "drumstick" piece is by itself and the middle "2 bone" piece and the little "hand" is attached. So I guess that counts as whole wing, but cut in parts.

    Just made some with my own cola wing recipe....

    Salt and cayenne pepper on the wings, then deep fry in oil for about 15-20 minutes until they turn slightly crispy/golden brown on the outside

    While doing this, make the wing sauce... first fry some ginger and Thai red chili peppers + those chinese numb/hot peppercorns... when everything sizzles nicely, pour in about 1 cup of coke and a bit of soy sauce + a bunch more cayenne pepper, some Whiskey, and a dash of Worcestershire sauce... while it's still liquid, take the peppers out and throw it away. Reduce until it becomes kind of thick and then toss wings in sauce, eat with blue cheese dip.

    It actually turned out pretty good, but I think I cooked the sauce too long and it became too sticky and candy-like...
  • Peter S 李贝勒
    what about the space cakes?
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Try this:

    1/2 kg of mid-wings (if you dont like the drumstick and the pointy bit)
    a couple of tomato - washed and chopped
    a couple of potato - washed and chopped

    If you like it mashy, put in everything together, then simmer it for about 30 min ...

    If you like chewy potato pieces, simmer the wings and tomato for 20 min, then put in the potato pieces, simmer another 5-10 minutes ...

    Best served with plain rice, or spagetti ... this would feed 2 guys quite easily ...

    P.S. I have written two wings recipes on my own thread
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    There was a thread about curry restaurant about two weeks ago, and I was talking to Sinnika about making curry ... so here's a simple one:

    1/2 kg of chicken drumstick
    a couple of potatos - washed, skinned and chopped
    a couple of onions - washed and chopped
    and of course, curry powder (I use very cheap ones)

    Like above, if you like it really mashy, put in everything together, then simmer it for about 60 min ...

    If you are like me, who enjoyed a stronger onion flavour, I suggest you put in the onion just before serving it, simmer it for about 10 min, and it's perfect ...

    Best served with plain rice, or plain bread rolls (not slices of bread) ... this would feed 2 guys quite easily ...
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Pork & Beans. Straight out the fucking can... for breakfast. Not even heated up.
  • Petter Meisfjordskar
    7eleven.

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