Discussion » Nonsense » 30 Ways To Make Girl Horny

  • Jon Gu - 顾晓帆
    Jon Gu - 顾晓帆 wrote:
    Works like a charm every time!

    1. Money
    2. Drugs
    3. Money
    4. Phallus erectus
    5. Being fashionably bald
    6. Mercedes Benz
    7. Tattoos, especially of another woman
    8. Just got out of prison
    9. Cheating on her
    10. Money
    11. Teacup pig
    12. Touching your eyebrow with your tongue
    13. Slap on the a$$
    14. Motorcycles
    15. Handcuffs
    16. Take her to a gay bar
    17. There is no 17
    18. Suit up!
    19. 80's porn movies
    20. Telling her you don't need a pre-nup
    21. Ray-Bans. Need I say more?
    22. The ability to move 3 of your fingers in harmonious rhythm in a tight spot
    23. Black leather
    24. Large penis - your e-penis doesn't count!
    25. Larger wallet
    26. Shaved ass
    27. Calling her your "Thursday girl"
    28. Hardcore S&M
    29. A vasectomy
    30. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  • Joakim Lund Rangel
    31. child support
  • Rune
    Rune wrote:
    raep
  • Joakim Lund Rangel
    Facade: that would be 33

    34.Being very skilled in WoW is a winner
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Hahahaha ... no one mentioned "being bad"? Or is it assumed?
  • Malin Aaker
    Malin Aaker wrote:
    80's porn movies.... Damn ladies, you really have bad tastes!
  • Amber
    Amber wrote:
    A female is horny all the time in front of u if she loves u.............so be careful, u had better not provake those u do not love......
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    I'm sorry Amber, I didn't mean to sweep in there and break your heart like that!
  • Fazio
    Fazio wrote:
    I dont think Motorcycle can make Girl happy....

    I was a Rider,But my ex-girlfriend Love car more.,..
  • Sasha 莎莎 Wang
    Genius.
  • Minger
    Minger wrote:
    Despite being absolutely hilarious, I'm going to say that about 25/30 are true. Thanks for sharing.

    Suit up!
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    35. Baddass scars
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Hahahaha ... been carrying one on my shoulder for 30+ years now ... it used to be a mean-looking poisonous scorpion, now it looks like a big fat cockroach ...
  • Nathaniel Boyle
    obviously money doesnt make them horny but it will get you laid, and wtf is a teacup pig?
  • Xx
    Xx wrote:
    you guys are really sick....
  • Malin Aaker
    Malin Aaker wrote:
    @Mr boyle, this is a teacup pig: http://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1GGLS_enCN362CN362&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=teacup+pig
  • Hans Christian Eriksson
    being chocolate to her
  • Sasha 莎莎 Wang
    Teacup pigs are probably the CUTEST things ever.
  • Malin Aaker
    Malin Aaker wrote:
    I can complete a few of them:

    1 is ok but not 3, 10 and 30, I don't have THIS much money! Can also do 4, could try 5, definitely would do 9. 12 is too easy! 18 and 19 are my daily life ;-) 24 is ok, 25 too, that wallet is too big, won't even fit in a pocket. I'll never do 26!
  • Jon Magnus Ro
    Jon Magnus Ro wrote:
    11. 11. 11.
    incredibly adorable and cute? yes.
    horny level? low to none.
  • Malin Aaker
    Malin Aaker wrote:
    Hahaha! Never actually seen one! Where can I see one in BJ?
  • Jon Magnus Ro
    Jon Magnus Ro wrote:
    they are fairly expensive pets.
    basically miniature pigs, that are becoming the 'new domestic animal'
    dont think you can see or buy in bj...
    teacup size when born, grow to size of a cocker spaniel at maturity

    google em :)
  • Rebecca Arnesen
    think you could do that with an elephant? I'd buy one of them for sure
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    Making a girl horny is very simple. But first you gotta make her feel safe enough to get her phone number. Shave your beard and wear a long sleeved shirt to cover your tattoos, track marks, and knife fighting scars. If it hasn't been washed, ever, just mist it with some Febreeze or cologne. And try to replace that gold tooth with one that looks real.

    After you do all of this, you should be able to get her phone number. Just buy her a coffee and say you'd like to meet her again. The path to a woman's heart is filled with winding turns and intersections without clear signs. But the way into her pants is pretty straightforward. You just need to get them digits. Then you just send her one of these cute little fuckers right here-

    :)

    And that broad will cream her panties, like, almost immediately. After she douches and re-upholsters her sofa, she will need you so badly that she will immediately agree to meet you at any location (coffee shop, bar, public restroom) so that you may plunder every orifice on her body--perhaps even create a few new ones, if you're into that, you sick fuck.

    Bitches love smiley faces.
  • Ms Bla
    Ms Bla wrote:
    yeah yeah I agree teacup pigs fucking cute!!!! lol
  • Ms Bla
    Ms Bla wrote:
    @Jon: btw how did you bethink the teacuppig??? hahaha
  • Sasha 莎莎 Wang
    Oh Dando, your comment totally made my day.
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Teacup pig was in last weeks episode of How I Met Your Mother... my personal preference for bait is a dwarf bunny. Love those little bastards, and not too high maintenance either. And of my motorcycle racing albums. See that leather suit with my name GU on the back and the helmet with my number (276) on the side??? Huh? See it?? That means I'm getting laid tonight, baby!
  • MiLo
    MiLo wrote:
    diamond
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Sorry Chuck but WRONG! Giving a girl the diamond is the best way to ensure that you'll never have sex again! hahahaha
  • Joakim Lund Rangel
    haha, awesome comment from Dando!
  • Jos Merde
    Jos Merde wrote:
    do a word count of the word LOVE on this page.
  • Joakim Lund Rangel
    Jos: 7.
  • SaSa♣Yi
    SaSa♣Yi wrote:
    u r all tricky.....which makes me feel sick
  • Vicky Mohieddeen
    Good to see misogyny alive and well.
  • Malin Aaker
    Malin Aaker wrote:
    Yes we are tricky, but it's women's fault, if women stopped pretending they do not like to have sex, then we would not need any of those tricks!
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    *rant mode on*

    Misogyny? Lol... Feminists who cry misogyny are the ones who are still keeping this image of men alive... You believe all of us men are cold and heartless, unable to control our urges and inhibitions, and yet really, isn't it these same women who keep perpetuating this? The stereotypical alpha/macho man has already been killed off, yet no matter men are respectful of women now, you guys still portray us as cavemen. Hey guess what? Women still secretly like cavemen! The only difference is that now they have to hide it.

    Do you know the cry of all single women? "I can't find a nice man!" Hey... that's because you don't actually want a nice man! If you wanted him, you wouldn't have rejected the 10 guys who've been offering you their souls and dicks in a giftbox! You're looking for someone exciting, someone more carefree than the "nice guy" and then you want to shackle down your new prize and castrate him to turn him into whatever you want him to be. Men are criticized all the time for trying to "conquer" women, yet really it's the women who are worse... at least we don't try to ruin you for other men!


    "Men have been trained and conditioned by women, not unlike the way Pavlov conditioned his dogs, into becoming their slaves. As compensation for their labours men are given periodic use of a woman's vagina."


    *rant mode off*
  • Shane
    Shane wrote:
    @Jon
    ""As compensation for their labours men are given periodic use of a woman's vagina.""

    Where did you get this gem from? Haha
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Esther Vilar, a woman who decries feminism in her books. She's on our side here! hahahaha
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    Jon, I am willing to bet the small change in my pocket that, of the long list of women who have contributed to your butthurt anti-feminist backlash, none had paid a lot of attention in their women's studies classes.

    The idea that feminists are to blame for your dry dong is preposterous. Feminists like getting off as much as anyone, and they tend to be pretty creative about doing it. I, for one, am particularly grateful to feminists, because they are far more likely to work my prostate during oral without thinking I'm gay for dick.

    Even Andrea Dworkin (the corpulent radical feminist anti-porn zealot) wasn't a misandrist. She had a male life-partner.

    Women can be misogynists, too. And they manipulate each other just as frequently as they do men. Do you think it is only men who call chicks sluts? So it's not a vast conspiracy to control men. We still own everything. That's not going to change any time soon if you're going to imply that your lack of play is in any way comparable to shit like foot-binding and back-alley abortions.

    Vilar is like an Uncle Tom, but with a cunt.
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Ok fair, I concede it's a bit ridiculous and I may have spouted a bit too much of that womans writings w/o thinking hard enough about it.

    But you know, I'm not saying that I think feminists haven't made great advances for womens rights. Just don't give me the attitude of "we should all be equal" while having men buy you drinks, food, changing your tires, or whatever. It's just like the whole racism thing, blown out of proportion it turns into reverse racism.

    I'm just saying... I hate seeing nice guys of the world get shit on by girls who dig firemen but complain about the lack of "nice decent men" out there.
  • ♥Playboy ♥
    this is the best discussion ever , haha
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    Is expecting men to get the check really an integral part of feminist ideology? I didn't read that one anywhere. I guess I'm a shitty feminist.

    Firemen? But firemen are total sweethearts! They rescue kittens stuck in trees. That's precious.
  • Saint - Spartacus
    who know ludwig , who like or understand trans, who can understand another position ,who can feel that horny girl was a man and who can find out the real things that you are ... what you thought maybe all wrong ... ...
  • Saint - Spartacus
    i don't think so cause everyone have a chance to chose his or her nature , it's also a changement face to the new problem with connect all area in recentely 20 years, and for sure there are people who live in the futur position will put the things in the table...
  • Saint - Spartacus
    that why the question on the top line was ironic
  • Jason Chang Liu
    agree seriously with Eric--my upper neighbour. no, no cheat on girls, my foreign friends. that shall not be the purpose you came here, isn't it?
  • Saint - Spartacus
    the physic and mental nature were different, and which one you considerate as essential & fundamental ? then why Beatriz Preciado re-establish her reputation?
    it's just a point about auto construction-deconstruction what ever... ...
    creature could be a creation in different degree

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