Discussion » Dating & Romance » Why are you single?

  • Jon Gu - 顾晓帆
    Jon Gu - 顾晓帆 wrote:
    Simple question, if you are single, why? This question goes for both men and women. Is it a choice? If so why? If it's not a choice, sorry... I feel for ya, I've been there :)
  • Winnie
    Winnie wrote:
    i think this question was discussed before...
    my answer now: i like fruits but all around me are vegetables
  • Peter Baird
    Peter Baird wrote:
    My life is too unstable. I could be in China for 6 months, or several years. It's reallyimpossible to commot to a relationship when I don't know if I will stay here for any length of time.
  • ♥Playboy ♥
    Because i am emotional .... :(
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    @Winnie: Sorry, I did a quick check but didn't see anything similar posted. Hope I'm not beating anything to death... but anyways...

    What about tomatoes? What if you met a tomato... Scientists call them fruits, but cooks call them vegetables. You need a tomato in your life. Depending on your mood he could be either a fruit or a vegetable. Speaking of which... I'm really hungry now, I could totally go for some scramble egg & tomatoes (西红柿炒鸡蛋), but only if the tomatoes are female hahaha

    @Peter: I feel you, I'm the same way, here and there. Never stopped me from jumping in head first though, and yeah, it's bitten me in the ass plenty too hahahaha
  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:
    so i can practice my skills for telling lies and conviencing people
  • wrote:
    Abisai,

    You are a man, haha
    "so i can practice my skills for telling lies and conviencing people"
    So you can have more than one girl at the same time? Right? haha
  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:
    maybe but the main point is ujust to practice conviencing people...this practice is good for business negotiations....family matters..and so on so its a good thing....
  • kö
    wrote:
    问题是个简单的问题,回答就不简单了···诶···
    1:没有合适的,不是我眼光高
    2:暂时还不想,如果在一起没有结果的话
    3:一个人习惯了
  • Zoé
    Zoé wrote:
    coz the guy i like doesnt like me..
    and the guy like me i dont like.
    wrong time met right guy
    right time met wrong guy...
    唉。。。
  • MoMo
    MoMo wrote:
    not ready and afraid. it is too early for me..heheh i am only 4 years old...
  • Daniel
    Daniel wrote:
    Same as Peter(not open to it), but I'll add that I've not met the perfect person yet because I think even though I'm very much against finding a long-term girflriend before I get my MA and PHD, I think there probably are some girls out there that'd match me too much to stick to that.
  • 微笑的Min
    微笑的Min wrote:
    男孩儿都以为我有男朋友,不敢追~有趣吧
  • Dingo
    Dingo wrote:
    everybody says i put my sight too high......but i really dont think thats what it really is......just need to meet a right person at right place and right time
  • Noprobnisouci
    Noprobnisouci wrote:
    I guess too selfish that's the big one ^^....And come on it's not that easy to find someone who fit you. Specially when you are a foreigner. This topic's full of sorrow...i prefered the one who's main title was : Chinese women, please do not share bed with foreign pple. This one was a killer!xD
  • Åse Marie Strand
    hmmm..there are way to many reasons to be single. i think everyone here has touched on different issues of the same problem. really, you have chalk it up to the human condition because we mate differently than most of the other animals on Earth. I think I will have to go with the reason why I am single is because people are deceptive. people only show you the parts of themselves that they want to. this makes dating problematic because it brings up the issue of how well you really know your significant other and unfortunately the only answer is: as well as they allow you to (sidebar..what is with this promising to be nice business?)
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    I'll share one of my opinions here... I strove to be in or maintain a successful relationship most of my life, and the maintenance part is definitely the one that I struggle with.

    @Laura, yes, the human condition is exactly the reason why relationships are so hard and why I choose to stay single. It's not as much about deception for me as it is too much of a cat and mouse game. Attracting someone and keeping someone require very different frames of mind.

    When you go for attraction, for example the courting and the first 2 weeks or so of a relationship, emotions drive everything. People are thinking less about the future, finances, and all that and are more just caught up in the moment... enjoying spending time learning about the other person, floating in passion, and loving every moment.

    As soon as that high wears off, the other stuff in the relationship starts to matter. You start looking at the long term ramifications. You start to wonder if the other person is genuinely the person they showed you the first few weeks. They start to act completely differently. If you are head-over-heels in love, you feel like you are chasing the other person... or if your significant other is the one more in love, you feel like you are being locked in a cage... and no matter which way it goes, one person will start to pull away.

    I think really the point I'm getting to is all the relationships I've been in feel like they are out of balance. Either I'm trying too hard, or the girl is trying too hard and it's just too much to deal with. Sometimes we swap and do a role-reversal but it's never just even and calm. In the meanwhile I'm content enjoying the passion of short term relationships while waiting to see if I discover anyone who can vibe with me and maintain a balanced relationship.
  • Serena
    Serena wrote:
    why i'm single ? hard to say
    i enjoy my single life
    coz i m yong
    i think single more freedom
    so if i met right guy i will get together with him
    but i dont know where he is ?
    maybe far away from me ? haha
  • Xx
    Xx wrote:
    good question~
    maybe because i want freedom
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    Laziness and apathy.
  • Åse Marie Strand
    Jon, I think you might be on to something there. Maybe it is like they say a question of finding the right person, but with billions of people on this planet, how do you know which person is the right one? I've tried to separate myself from that "emotional drive" that you describe but unfortunately I've determined that this is not easily done, and I am not sure if it is even possible to do that. It seems to be a built in part of the human condition. Also, is true harmony possible in such a chaotic world?

  • Lily Wang
    Lily Wang wrote:
    I guess no guy have enough courage to propose me? I never got a chance to say yes so far.haha..
    Or maybe I am a picky woman...and stupid as well. I guess it more reasonable.:P
  • Lucia
    Lucia wrote:
    I'm waiting for my right man!
  • Mikael Lønø
    Mikael Lønø wrote:
    I think you are single when you discuss this topic.
    lolz...... maybe there have more single people in beijing.but we have good and rich single life.So What.we are also happy and freedom.
  • Don
    Don wrote:
    i am single .....why???
    i guess because i don't want to lose my FREEDOM.......
  • Pavoir Sponse
    Pavoir Sponse wrote:
    ...because I'm into some really, really extreme sexual acts that no one will agree to...
  • Xx
    Xx wrote:
    Carlos wrote:
    Posted 12 minutes ago
    ...because I'm into some really, really extreme sexual acts that no one will agree to...

    why not try a sexless relationship? lol
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    @Zhaohong, yeah... I think a relationship is a lot like a siege or a battle. You want to go out and drink, your girlfriend wants you to stay home and watch TV. She wants to go shopping with you, but you just want to lay on the couch. She wants a 2 ct diamond ring, you want a Ducati 1098 motorcycle....

    Maybe I just haven't found the one yet *roll eyes*

    @Don, that's a great reason too. How do you fulfill your need for intimacy though? Or do you have no such desire?

    @Laura, I don't really believe in the concept of the one, but I realize that it's something so many people chase. How could I possibly know that someone is the right one for me forever, when there are so many people out there who are right for me right now? I guess I'm just too impatient and too emotionally driven to wait.

    If you think about it though, emotions are a much stronger motivator for relationships. We're genetically programmed through thousands of years of evolutionary cycles to trust our emotions when it comes to sex and procreation. That's how animals do it after all right? I guess we would all like to believe we are better than animals, but you can't deny that the pangs of emotion you feel towards someone you like but know is wrong for you don't stab deep at your heart.

    @Rae... yes, right on. Preach it sister, just remember to put a space after the periods... hahahaha

    @Lucia... Stop waiting! Do you know what people get when they wait? OLD! Go out and take what belongs to you!
  • MichelleG
    MichelleG wrote:
    everybody ask me the same question...... lol ..... good question......it's not right time...it's time when it's time.
  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:
    How about the most common answer I get when I ask why, "No Why!" ok ok all jokes aside I am single because I left my woman because her personality disappeared when we became a couple. She stopped being herself and let me be far to influential in her life. I do not want to control a woman and define her existence. I feel that a woman and a man should compliment each other not overshadow each other.

    One thing I would like to know is how come so many single women live in Beijing? I feel like there may be an overabundance here.
  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:
    Oh I hear it is very common for smart highly educated women to be single around here. That is very good for liberal men!

    I cannot understand why my Chinese friends always tell me it is bad to have a smart woman HAHA!
  • Winnie
    Winnie wrote:
    @John Gu, tomato is ok..it's just i have met some tomatoes and sometimes i enjoyed it when they seem more like a fruit, and sometimes i didnt like it when they seem more like a vegetable. so now im going for just fruit:)
    @ Kodi, there are many single men here too. i think it's common in big cities where everyone is trying to find the ideal partner...not just a partner
  • .
    . wrote:
    Tough question and I have no f**king idea ;)
  • Hedda Goffeng
    Hedda Goffeng wrote:
    I have no ability to find a guy who is perfect,so I depend on my imagination and be a single.
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    @Zhaohong: Odd. You don't seem lazy or apathetic.
  • Torbjørn Edøy
    im just waiting for the right woman!
  • Celine Dalen
    Celine Dalen wrote:
    有没有人因为爱一个人所以单身呢?
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    None of you deserve a Mr/Ms Right. Lower your standards, then come back with some real explanations. You're boring. If being real is wrong then I don't want to be right.

    How about some hedgehog's dilemma? Loneliness causes pain, yes, but hedgehogs cause each other pain the closer they get to one another. This discussion would be so much cooler if some genuinely neurotic people would come forward.
  • Webslave
    Webslave wrote:
    because i always fail to attract the right one long enough
  • Jill Wong
    Jill Wong wrote:
    keep trying to find the one~
  • Åse Marie Strand
    Jon, I never understood the whole fascination with the diamond ring.
    Could someone explain this one to me?

    Here's my argument: it's a piece of clear stone. Yes I understand that they are rare, that the scientific process of compressing carbon into a rock hard diamond is not an easy one and that they are expensive but seriously, why do women obsess over diamond rings? How have they become the symbol of love that they are today? Is it the materialistic mindset of the modern world or do you think it runs deeper than that on some sort of symbolic level? My journalistic inklings might force me to do some outside reach on this topic...

    I would be interested to here what the women in this forum have to say about this question. Does a diamond ring really symbolize love cross-culturally?
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    @Laura: Diamond engagement rings aren't even a very old tradition in America. It's a product of advertising campaigns by diamond merchants like DeBeers.

    "Diamonds are forever" my hairy white ass.
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    How do you deal with hairy ass? Wax? Shave? Tweeze? Inquisitive minds would love to know.

    Personally, I totally get the diamond thing. Being a man of... slightly expensive taste, I totally get it when a woman wants the big rock. I like collecting gold coins myself, and just looking at a 1 oz piece of gold makes me happy. It's like Gollum and the Precious in Lord of the Rings sometimes. So when a woman asks me for a $35,000 ring when we get engaged, I nod and say yes, you deserve it, but don't forget to budget for my motorcycles.

    This particular woman wouldn't let me race motorcycles anymore though so I dumped her hahahaha
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    I'm gonna throw my hat in the ring now.

    I'd date western chicks of any age, but since I like Chinese girls too a lot of white chicks think I have yellow fever. Either they're threatened by the competition, or they think I just can't handle independent western women, or they think I've got yellow fever and I chase Chinese girls because they're "exotic". All of which is quite false. But it doesn't matter how earnest I am in my preference for Western girls' personalities. I'm still a creep.

    I'd date Chinese girls but even the non-traditional ones are nonetheless on a marriage trajectory. I think marriage is a vile institution of ownership and sexual slavery, but I realize that for a lot of girls and young women in developing countries, it is their only opportunity to improve their lives in the absence of real socio-political gender equality. And some of them even believe that marriage and love are the same thing. I can't say whether I envy or pity their romantic optimism.

    I'd date Chinese women, but I'm rather immature and irresponsible, and my good looks and charm can only compensate for so much. Plus I'm chronically broke. I don't even show up on their radar.

    Of course there are plenty of exceptional women out there. I just don't know where to look.
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    Gu: How do I tend to asshairs? Uh... neglect?

    Shit. Disregard all those other reasons I listed for being single. I think I've nailed it.
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Damned straight. You don't wanna be tickling the girl when you 69 if you know what I mean... hahahaha
  • Xenia Lu
    Xenia Lu wrote:
    gd question, i've been thinking about this for days
    the 1 i like doesnt like me
    but the ones who like me, i dont like them..
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Why do you still like him if he doesn't like you? Why is it so hard to move on?
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    Gu: Well you see I thought maybe running a trimmer over by keister might be a way for me to bond with a potential mate. Sort of like baboons delousing one another.
  • Aurélien
    Aurélien wrote:
    I don't know why I'm still single ;__;
  • Timothy Wang
    Timothy Wang wrote:
    im single for almost 1 year now, still dont know what i want...i think thats why im single
  • Åse Marie Strand
    Evan -

    First off, the girls you are describing sound like (excuse me if I offend anyone in here) idiots. I suggest you seek out different circles of people for your own sanity if nothing else. I grew up in a household where I witnessed my parents loveless marriage every day. My mother is full-blooded South Korean and she married my father (white) while he was in the Navy. She did the whole, go to America and find a better life thing. This is something that I do not agree with at all. I don't respect it. A woman should never be completely dependent on a man and vice versa and ultimately, I believe that this was my mother's desire: to be taken care of.

    I find it sad if what you say is the case, that most Chinese women are focused on marriage. There is more to life than that. Personally at this point in my life, marriage does not seem very appealing to me. It definitely has its pros and cons, but my idea of the ultimate relationship is a monogamous partnership; I think that the system itself makes this hard to achieve. Also, sorry to hear about those ass hairs,

    Gu - I guess what I am getting at is that I know that people like nice things (and expensive things) but money has nothing on love.

    Xenia - Such is life. i suggest you divert your efforts elsewhere.
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    Laura: I wouldn't say they're idiots. There are perfectly rational sociological reasons for women to attach their social status to a mate. I should've said that, 'cuz I'm afraid I came off as bitter, and I'm really not. I can't even complain, really.

    And yeah there are plenty of acceptably exceptional dames out there. I just don't get out enough, I suppose.

    Your mother probably didn't have a lot of opportunities for social advancement in South Korea when she was young, except for getting married. Gender equality still has a long way to go even in modern South Korea, not to mention China, where the One Child Policy has exacerbated existing gender inequalities.

    I can't blame Chinese chicks for wanting to get married. They're under a lot of pressure from their families and it's otherwise hard as fuck for them to get jobs and achieve independence. Except, of course, for well-educated urban girls from rich families. They have plenty of alternatives.
  • Åse Marie Strand
    Re-reading my post, I realize that it does come off sounding a bit harsh. I recognize the cultural differences, and you make some insightful points. My mother grew up in a rural village in an agricultural area. I know that in South Korea (during the time that my mother grew up), marriage was a huge deal for women because of social advancement. My view point is that of a Korean American raised in the United States an entire generation later.

    As for the idiocy remark, it was not directed at Chinese girls, but the white girls you are describing who think you have "yellow fever." There is an underlying prejudice there that I do not like one bit. As far as Chinese women, I am saddened because I would have hoped that attitudes would shift over time.

    And I guess you really can't blame anyone for wanting to get married. Society has been conditioning women (and men as well) to think about marriage and raising a family. Despite the divorce rates in the US, I know that the whole two kids and a white picket fence ideal is still around.
  • Sasha 莎莎 Wang
    I'm single because half of this shit heads that live here are only into tiny-ass Chinese girls with no boobs, or asses.
    but girls that do have an ass or do have boobs are just gross and fat.
    HAH. sucks for you, you're missing out.
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Laura, you rock. Love reading your posts, but maybe it's just because you're a 2nd gen Asian-American like me and have somewhat similar views (and grammar....). Good luck on your grad school application. I also just turned my grad school app in to Tsinghua Univerisity... They gave me a quick 2 minute interview and said yeah, OK, you went to one of the top schools in the US so we need students like you... you're in, but don't expect any money! We don't give scholarships to Americans or Europeans, only to people from poor countries. I'm happy that I'm accepted and will be in Beijing for the next 2 years but a bit taken back at the same time. hahaha

    @Sasha... totally untrue! We love the badonkeydonk just as much as anyone else. And anyone who doesn't is totally missing out...
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Also... is it called yellow fever when an Americanized Asian like me (banana) likes Asian girls to the point of not really even looking at non-Asians?
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    Laura: Even the white chicks aren't idiots. They're just frustrated. Hell, dating is even harder for them than for me.

    Gu: That's badonk'a'donk. Not donkey! See also: got some junk in the trunk. It's a pretty said state of affairs when a cracker from the northern midwest must correct someone's urban slang on a forum.

    Sasha: Curvy girls have more fun!
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Doh! Good point... Northern Midwest huh? Me too... Chicago area, you?
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    Far out man. We share a lake. I'm from the Grand Traverse Bay area of Michigan. The pinkie finger of the mitt.
  • Ms Bla
    Ms Bla wrote:
    Cuz i can't got a guy who.............have as below personalities
    /he must be considerate
    /must be like me all the time
    /must be respectful to all women;
    /must be considerate
    /must be not have a temper (I am a short fuse btw)
    /must be totally depandable
    /must have a good job and good salary
    /must be self confident
    /must not smoke or be an alcohoic
    /he must be forgiving
    /he must be a good sense of humor
    /he must be able to cook

    .......................etc..
    ..................
    that is my standards for future spouse ....
    I know that is so crazy ... so It was just kidding or dream/yes im daydreamer/ lol (never and ever cannot come true)



    so this is why so many gals still single..................................
  • Sasha 莎莎 Wang
    curvy girls do have more fun ;)
  • G
    G wrote:
    being single is beautiful...
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    So Blair you want a man to be loyal, to make all the money, to clean up after himself and to cook for you, to take all your shit (because of your short fuse) but have no shit of his own, and still like you all the time.

    Guys, anyone wanna fill out that application?
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Hahahaha ... B ... I am ticklish ...
  • Ms Bla
    Ms Bla wrote:
    Jon that is not application ! pay more attention what i said!
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Hahahaha ... B ... Jon is just teasing ... arent you Jon?
  • Ms Bla
    Ms Bla wrote:
    no worries i like the newbird seems like someone ..............hha hilarious
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Hahahaha ... B ... not sure about America ... but in Australia, we use the term "newbie"...
  • Ms Bla
    Ms Bla wrote:
    牛拜 cool word
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Hahahaha ... try not to use "bird" ... it has special meaning ... I will tell you offline ...
  • Ms Bla
    Ms Bla wrote:
    It is a slang!
  • Ms Bla
    Ms Bla wrote:
    he knew that !
  • Gary Bao
    Gary Bao wrote:
    why we are single, because we belive the true love, because we know the right person must be there at the right time . we are single because we live for ourselves, because we know what we exactly want to get. but that means we dont have friends
  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:
    @Shasha: I agree that those guys are missing out.

    @Laura: Diamonds are not even that rare. They are monopolized by only a few diamond merchants, so they control the market for diamonds. I also think it is bullshit how some people demand diamonds. I think it says something about their character, but if I love a woman enough I will give her whatever she wants because I want to see her smile. I guess no one is perfect. Love is the the important thing.
  • Webslave
    Webslave wrote:
    @Bai
    "must be like me all the time" means? always love you?

    except for things one cant promise/predict and the other two points about "self confidence and no smoking", i can pretty much fulfill the rest in your list, so what do you got to offer? I m kidding, too. jaja

    everyone might has his or her list, but how much of it do you still take account when you have really fallen in love with someone? you will pull out that check list after the first 3 months of blindness and start going through it after some more and more touch points occur not to match anymore...
  • Åse Marie Strand
    Jon - the program I am applying to is a Clinical and Community Psychology program with an emphasis in rural and indigenous psychology. 8 people get accepted a year. The University of Alaska offers 14,900 in aid to any student who gets admitted into the program. I'm crossing my fingers because I really want to get in. Good luck with your graduate school ambitions.

    Also, I do not think it would be considered "yellow fever" because you are most likely perceived as an Asian because of your appearance. I think that the term denotes a close-minded view about inter-racial relations.

    Evan - I retract my idiocy statement. Chalk it up to cynicism and slowly dieing pessimistic hopefulness. Perhaps I shouldn't judge a whole group of people that I don't even know based off preconceptions.

    Kodi - Touche. And, I totally agree with what you are saying.
  • Saint - Spartacus
    a reason to be single
    a south korea friend was dumped by his boyfriend after her success in her career,just
    a week before her marige , which she planed for 4 years

    a chinese friend have a illness for life, she deicide to be single all her life and join the feminist movement forever

    the strange caractor make me single , then live with it
  • Xx
    Xx wrote:
    hey,guys,How do you deal with SEX when ur single?
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Easy, sleep with other single people!
  • Ms Bla
    Ms Bla wrote:
    Unanimous applause! dear all, you are right!
    In fact , different person different situation, for example my friends mostly smoking, no job; not considerate; some not respectful to all women and so on... fall short of my standards. but I still love them !!! oh gosh I love them ! lol
    and I enjoy my life! take it easy !

    PS: Im just a common people!
  • Ryan Sanden
    Ryan Sanden wrote:
    @小麻豆: No sex. That's cost of being single. But it's better than sleeping around.
  • Ms Bla
    Ms Bla wrote:
    someone sometimes dutch courage: so i just suggest make yourself under control after you drunk especially gals.;-p
  • Sofia
    Sofia wrote:
    sometimes enjoy the freedom but sometimes really feel lonely
  • Øyvind Hagen
    Øyvind Hagen wrote:
    because I'm fabulous
  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:
    because u r horny
  • Malin Aaker
    Malin Aaker wrote:
    Cause I'm ugly and I stink. But I'm working on it, I bought some soap. Haven't figured how to use it yet though...
  • 芝芝
    芝芝 wrote:
    because I am weird...
  • Webslave
    Webslave wrote:
    Hey Sir,
    that sounds sad. It doesnt matter what some girls think, you only need one girlt. on the surfacial part many tend to go for coolness, look, sexappeal, wealth or what ever, but deep down, what really counts are your personalities and if they match to the to-be-desired girl.

    So dont make a cheap on sale mass product out of yourself. Value yourself accordingly to who you really are and stick to that honestly and openly. just be open minded and patient. good luck.

    if you miss her, go back to your ex, if it is not her that you miss, better stay away.
  • Ms Bla
    Ms Bla wrote:
    Go back to your ex ?
    no no you can't do it. That likes a vase was fragmented, but you won't make it originally look...
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    OK, how about we have add something to this where instead of just promising to be nice, we have to promise to make sense too?

    Like... "How the g*** am i gonna back when my first cell phone up ?" what the hell does this mean? What's a g***? How do you get your cell phone up?

    What's an ex-single?

    And why is this exact same thing posted here and back again a week ago?

    Gahh... OK I guess this post wasn't very nice, but damnit I'm sleepy and tired
  • Teresaliu
    Teresaliu wrote:
    why,i think bec i am not ready to have a bf and i used to go shopping or do other things by myself,but sometimes i hope there can be someone to be together with me,and if i am ready,i will find one who love me,and find my mr right.
  • Veronica Skagen
    @ Winnie:- "my answer now: i like fruits but all around me are vegetables"

    i like that phase.. nice..
  • Shady
    Shady wrote:
    why I'm single..??hhmm........................
    Cuz I like stupid people ; )
  • Don
    Don wrote:
    why am i still single....???hmmm.........
    Cuz.....
    1.....i don't want to be IMPRISONED.....
    2.....When i am into someone,she happens to be a CHINESE.....(who will say "I'M TRADITIONAL).....i mean how can one still be SO-CALLED TRADITIONAL in 21st century.......
    3.......they are not OPEN-MINDED......
    LAST but not the least,CHINESE SUCK.....(SORRY ....NO OFFENCES)
  • Don
    Don wrote:
    @ Winnie:- "my answer now: i like fruits but all around me are vegetables"

    i like that phase.. nice......
    there are only ROTTEN vegetables......
  • Webslave
    Webslave wrote:
    hm, your style reminds me on yes sir ...
  • Malin Aaker
    Malin Aaker wrote:
    @Don, no you're right, chinese completely SUCK like you say, but they do it really good so you should go for it ;-)
  • Don
    Don wrote:
    @赛博 - Saibo:
    I am not interested in CHINESE as they SUCK......If they do it really good,then why don't you go for THEM...........
  • Malin Aaker
    Malin Aaker wrote:
    who tells you I'm not?
  • Ms Bla
  • Malin Aaker
    Malin Aaker wrote:
    No, please blair, please I want to fight!!!! Pleeeaaaaasssseee.....
  • Marlene Sannes
    Why are you single ?
    =====================
    Because they lie to my boyfriend , and my boyfriend believe them , do not believe me .
  • Ms Bla
    Ms Bla wrote:
    okay go ahead Sai... I will just watch lol
  • Malin Aaker
    Malin Aaker wrote:
    Yeah but she allowed the fight, so I guess that makes her an peace unkeeper or something!
  • Ms Bla
    Ms Bla wrote:
    Don I'm the evil who from your said ...
    @Saibo; Yes i allowed the oral fight but can not real body fight especially bloody type/


    lol
    come on !!!! beginning
  • Fazio
    Fazio wrote:
    Dando Z wrote:
    Posted 1 weeks ago
    None of you deserve a Mr/Ms Right. Lower your standards, then come back with some real explanations. You're boring. If being real is wrong then I don't want to be right.

    Dont let the lonesome lead you to a wrong someone,It wont be happy.and mabe you will miss your Mr.Ms Right when you are unavailable.
  • Cuteangelalice
    becos i am ~
  • Xx
    Xx wrote:
    Ryan Sanden wrote:
    @小麻豆: No sex. That's cost of being single. But it's better than sleeping around.

    i think ,sleeping around is better than cheating around
  • Stephanie Xu
    Stephanie Xu wrote:
    i m trying to find a right man ...
    but it's seems so so soso hard !!!
    woooooo.............
  • Danielle
    Danielle wrote:
    it takes me too long to get over him after we became stranger- friend.
    i am still trying,but i think it really hurts when you still have feelings for someone,while you two are just not meant to be together.
    hope those who are in the same situation as mine,get better soon!
    Dannie
  • Anette Staldvik
    Yes Sir wrote :
    Inclose T-shirt's G-Unit and keep their cigar up
    If boys do not mind they will pick you up
    =========================================
    All girls do not keep their cigar up and cannot to pick up their brother ..
    anywhere you go you will find Good girl like our good grand-mothers , anywhere Yes Sir.
    and i think you like to be single because man always want to get freedom with the chicks..
  • Anette Staldvik
    Checkmate !!
  • Cuteangelalice

    @Dannie "it takes me too long to get over him after we became stranger- friend.
    i am still trying,but i think it really hurts when you still have feelings for someone,while you two are just not meant to be together".
    To Dannie , i think this situation some many girls or guys had before, however , try to forget someone , is not so easy, but you should take easy , take time , don't push yourself so much~ just need time, meanwhile, make new friends, hang out together ~ keep yourself busy of work ~ have fun in life~ whatever you do , it will make you more easy than you always told yourself " forget him , forget him"
    These is my way to forget my past ~ im sure you can do it , just take your time~ And Dannie , keep smile , ~ in our life , no matter what we do , just want to make ourself happy , so ^-^~you got point ~ ^-^
  • 张一驰
    张一驰 wrote:
    because i haven't met the right one yet. besides, my life is unstable and my future is unpredictable. that's why im single, i guess....
  • Tonje Dahl
    Tonje Dahl wrote:
    i am single ....maybe cuz...i am so ugly ..so mean..so stupid.....
    i do not know .... haha
  • Ms Bla
    Ms Bla wrote:
    @ Kitz : your razzmatazz????
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Kitz, whenever a cute girl like you says "I am single because A, B, C, D, ....."

    It usually means "I am just so bored of men and I think they are all losers. I would have a boyfriend but no one is good enough for me. Maybe I should just be a lesbian."

    Am I right?
  • Malin Aaker
    Malin Aaker wrote:
    Yes you're right Jon, you definitely should be a lesbian!
  • Tonje Dahl
    Tonje Dahl wrote:
    Blair Crucifix.
    hi what that mean ?
    razzamatazz?
  • Maggie Hu
    Maggie Hu wrote:
    i guess the right one hasnt shown up yet, so i am still waiting:)
  • Patrick Coleman
    im single in beijing, double in suzhou, third in shanghai, fourth in malaysia, fifth in singaproe and sixth, seventh and eigth in phillipines, darn you gotta love philippines!
  • Vegard Falldalen
    i am US national here in china.i spent 13 years in china.beside English i speak Chinese language very fluently. i know Chinese peoples and its culture very well.here i am single because most of the Chinese girls are traditional.they just want freedom.Chinese girls do not bear and like sex.beside Chinese girls do not have good figures.boobs are small and so on.i prefer American.European, Britain and Russian girls for relation ship or marriage.
  • 随便叫兽
    随便叫兽 wrote:
    Razzmatazz is like chutzpah or moxie. It's a special something-something. If you don't know what it is, you clearly do not possess it.

    Ya dig?
  • Man TianFei
    Man TianFei wrote:
    because have no a soft heart..
  • Kuan
    Kuan wrote:
    can't find a decent guy who does not fuck around all the time.
  • Peter Baird
    Peter Baird wrote:
    James my heart goes out to you. Constantly being used by women for sex...that's just awful. You have my sympathy.
  • Lars Magnus Langholm
    never met a person who i really like.
  • OLIVIA JIANG
    OLIVIA JIANG wrote:
    Because I do not want ... That's it ~
  • Thomas Hoel
    Thomas Hoel wrote:
    Obviously because I don't care enough, adding up to the fact that I live in a sh1tty country that I hate from the bottom of my heart. -_-
    Other than that, I don't know.
  • Schokoschoko
    Schokoschoko wrote:
    because i'm fabulous!!
  • Samansa
    Samansa wrote:
    i never met right one~~
  • Vera Luo
    Vera Luo wrote:
    Im really puzzled why Im still single ,

    maybe, somebody think Im beautiful and just want to have sex with me ,I hate this kind of men , and they think Im a cold person.

    somebody think Im just OK,a normal person, not good enough to be his gf.

    somebody think Im a 'optimisitic , careless guy' , like a buddy, so , we are brothers.
    ............
    ..........................
    ........................................
  • Keera Lee Farrington
    This thread is bare long bruvs

    WHY am i single?!

    honestly, becuase I havenot met the right person isnt that simple enough?

    there r so many issues surrounding that subject, but one thing i have realised is that love is all conditional

    it is more to do with what one makes u feel th the other way round, obviously nice human being will recipricate that and the couple grow
    finanicial stability, emotional security, future prospects all comes in there which really makes me wonder what is love and is love enough
  • Caroline Li
    Caroline Li wrote:
    why i m single ? cos when the love comes i didn't handle it .when the next one comes ,i m sading for the before one , so i missed the next one:(
  • Xiaoli
    Xiaoli wrote:
    Jon,it is obvious!Single gives you more room to hang out with different people.I never feel guilty of those hanky-panky coz i am single.
    On the other hand, fewer and fewer want committed relationship. Therefore, everyone keep themselves single to be available.

    p.s. The answers from those who are in relationship or married won't count.
  • Sofia
    Sofia wrote:
    i dumped the guy who cheated on me
    he's been begging for my forgiveness
    no never forgive
    heading for my Mr Right and he must be somewhere waiting for me~~
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Mr. Right.... hehehehehehehehehehehehehe, *face-palm*

    @Xiaoli, "Available" is an interesting concept. What are people "available" for? hahaha...

    I enjoy the freedom of being single too, but sorta starting to miss having a real GF. Grass is always greener on the other side...
  • Xiaoli
    Xiaoli wrote:
    Available is supposed to be for the Mr/Mrs.Right. But then some people find out the journey is more enjoyable than just having someone.

    Your point is exactly what Zhaohong once mentioned about 围城.
    But the balance you talked about will never happen in the real life.
    So enjoy whatever you've chosen...
  • Børge Notkevich
    life in unfair, whats meant to be will be
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Xiaoli, do I know you? Have we met before or something?

    Angela, if what is meant to be will be, that sounds fair to me...
  • Børge Notkevich
    im saying life in general is unfair, however what is meant to be will be. have a little faith :)
  • Gareth
    Gareth wrote:
    因为怕涉及到结婚二字,现在女孩大多数恋爱都是以结婚为目的的,而不是把婚姻当做恋爱的升华,听着不中听,但是事实就是这样!
  • Yuki Inés
    Yuki Inés wrote:
    Jon, u do know Xiaoli.
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Yes, apparently I do. She is a tricky girl... hahaha
  • Yu
    Yu wrote:
    @Sofia what a effin asshole, I,m glad you didn't take him back...!
  • Petter Meisfjordskar
    This is the stupidest question i have ever heard. You are created from just one threat of sperm. Why should you be in plural? And who said people can be more than one. The Bible says "man" but not "men". This means, even if we are many, we are always single in front of God. Simple logic.
  • Runar Korneliussen
    being single is awesome, and when there are so many fish in the sea, its hard to pick one :P
    i guess being young is also a point, and relationships are stressfull, unless you live close to each other and you are not doing full IB
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    lol, I just find it ironic that the bible and god are used in an argument that claims to be logical bwahahahahahhahahaha
  • Chris Wang
    Chris Wang wrote:
    just haven't met the right girl
  • Hans Petter Bjørgen Hansen
    Haha.. so many reasons... but it all comes down to what's already been said... haven't met the right person.

    A big problem is many people still have the old fashioned idea of a relationship... meet one person, get married, get a house, settle down, have kids... grow old and watch your kids go through the cycle...

    However, in today's society this probably won't happen... There's too many opportunities (to meet people, go places, find jobs), so the vast majority of marriages will fail when an irresistible opportunity comes around.

    So until I find a girl that doesn't have that old fashioned view of relationships, but isn't a complete whore... I will probably stay single..
  • Andrew Gordon
    Andrew Gordon wrote:
    well, when i am getting myself better,there always be better ones waitting, what is the rush?女同胞们,咱得自强自立,宁缺勿滥。
  • Vivian Ma
    Vivian Ma wrote:
    I don't know really, everytime I get hurt. I choose to leave and start new life.
    Maybe choose not to love is also good and peaceful.
    Not so sure that if the relationship will last for long time, life is changing from time to time and people change too~
  • Nadia Scheie
    Nadia Scheie wrote:
    nobody love me。。。。
  • Aleksander Storhaug
    i was dumped two weeks ago,that's why i am single,damn it.but i will be back soon.......
  • ┢┦apΡy
    ┢┦apΡy wrote:
    wait~~~maybe he was on the road~~~
  • 残乐
    残乐 wrote:
    This is really a dating book~! just check all the person above, hey you may say goodbye to a bachelor life~
    and my reason is I traveled too much, always on a bz travel from one city to another, seldom has some time to date, to hanging out with girls. Gosh I really regret for breaking up with my ex~
  • Thomas Fjeldstad
    I always think there's someone better
  • Jon Magnus Ro
    Jon Magnus Ro wrote:
    Of course your still single, take a look at yourself you dumb slut.
    for all himym fans :)
  • Thomas Fjeldstad
    I'm still single because it costs too much to have a girlfriend ;)
  • Malin Aaker
    Malin Aaker wrote:
    bullshit, find a rich girlfriend who will provide for you then
  • Thomas Fjeldstad
    I guess you cant spot a joke when you see one..........
  • Malin Aaker
    Malin Aaker wrote:
    Sorry, no one ever taught me humor
  • Kristian Svoren
    yeah,, we should just silence ourselves to know how to drive marriage in all conditions to avoid sucks matters.... and that requires a lot..., of course no one will be perfect, but it should have marriage atmosphere......hahaha..its complicated!!!!
  • Petter Meisfjordskar
    Kane, you were dumped, oh my God!!!! Why did you let her dump you when she is not the one who coned you? You got her and coned her. So it should be you to dump. Get back at once before i kick you.
  • Shukri Olad
    Shukri Olad wrote:
    finished a long term relationship last year and now kinda feel like it leads less trouble to not having a B/F.but the only reason is just - have not met THE ONE yet.
  • Shukri Olad
    Shukri Olad wrote:
    and the funny part is:all ppl around me either r married or in a relationship,rest r just playing around....
  • Petter Meisfjordskar
    Hey Jojo, what of me Mr Cool! I am just like my name and no games. I love to love and would like to sail the deepest waters with my lover. To hold her hand and lead the way. But just know, I AM BLACK. Hope it is a nice CV. If i have to add anything, tell me Mss Jojo. Hahhaaaaaaa.
  • Shukri Olad
    Shukri Olad wrote:
    why did u point that*I AM BLACK*?
  • Stanley Zarretta
    too ugly, too rough, too careless and too rude
  • Petter Meisfjordskar
    Hahhaaa, because it is a serious debatable issue as one of the topics for discussion here. I am proud of it and need to remaind people always. Hahhaaaa That is why i put it in CAPITAL LETTERS.
  • Mr SHORT CUT
    Mr SHORT CUT wrote:
    everyone trying to find a right person but no one try to make yourself right first
  • №❶ Passioη
    @ Jon Gu: I'm just wondering... Did the Chinese side of you post this or the American side? erm... I ask because Chinese often see the word "Single" as not having a BF / GF, while westerners see it as not having a spouse. So I don't know where to start... I presume both..

    For a guy, is there something wrong with being single? Cos I don't see any problem with that though...
  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:
    Because I have not yet found a woman who can handle my changes. Often they want me to change my personality to fit them. I have many sides that often run counter to what they expect me to be like. I also tend to fall for women who do not fall for me for some reason. It is difficult for a woman to hold my attention after I realize that she over complicates everything in the relationship. I am simple and easy going. I love if I love and there is no hidden meaning behind my actions.

    If I do not call for three days that means I was busy. It does not mean that I am not interested. Females can call guys also hehe. If I do not want sex one day, that means I simply am not in the mood. It does not mean I am secretly having sex with some one else. If I forget to do something, it does not mean I am inconsiderate and do not care it only means that I am spacey at times. I say what I mean and do what I feel. If I want to go to a rock show instead of go shopping that means I like rock music and she is welcome to meet up with me after shopping. Perhaps we can do both things together, but if there is no room for compromise then she will loose my favor. No one can handle that so far : )

    Girls make great friends because I can listen even if I do not agree and they are great listeners also. If I make a romantic relationship with a woman this seems to destroy pure friendship because she develops expectations of me that were not there before love blossomed. What a mess that can be.

    When someone can be my friend as well as my love without trivializing every action then I will be locked down for good.

    I am also too naive if I develop feelings for a woman. I expect love to be pure and I treat it as such in the context of my own views about women.

    I am far too demanding, but I hope someone proves me wrong in the future. I need someone as hopelessly romantic and attracted to me as I will be to them, so that nothing else in the world will matter to us when we are together. We should fade into each other. In the face of all the pressures involved I have failed in the past, but there is always the future.
  • Şerife
    Şerife wrote:
    wrong time met right guy
    right time met wrong guy...
    I agree Zoé
  • Synne Syverstad
    Kodi ,u seems always write a lot~~~that means u thinks a lot I think~ U need one who can catch up with ur thinking ~ r u Aquarius?
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    @No1 Passion: I guess when I asked I was referring to single as not being in an exclusive non-short term relationship, so no bf/gf and no spouse either of course. I thought westerners saw it the same way too...

    @Kodi: You describe an intimate relationship but with more of a "best friends" dynamic. You say that women sometimes develop expectations that didn't exist before the relationship became romantic... isn't that somewhat expected though? In a relationship, a certain level of commitment should exist (to be decided on by both) whereas with friends there is no such expectation of commitment beyond stuff like "bros before hoes" and "don't fuck me over."


    Personally... I have an issue of losing interest extremely rapidly. Maybe I'm just not meeting quality people anymore. I had one girlfriend throughout 3 years of college, and after that another long term girlfriend for 2 years (we broke up just before getting engaged). These days, a long term relationship to me is one that lasts more than 2 months. I think I let the last serious girlfriend influence and fuck up my life too much so now I have some trust issues with women. My gold-digger alert is on maximum now; before I used to think it was normal and even expected that I should be a strong financial provider, pay for all dates, rent for apartment (even if my gf had an income at the time), stuff like that... now I'm wary of girls who won't split checks with me.

    Back to losing interest though... I fall in love with people very easily. Maybe love is the wrong word... I'm easily infatuated. I love spending time and coming up with really creative ways to please a girl especially when we first meet. Then she'll do something to annoy me or piss me off (become clingy or whatever) and I just shut down, all the creative drive and motivation to please disappears. Plus I never get much reciprocation. Seems like so many girls think that lending you their vagina is a good enough way of rewarding you for all the things you do, but I've rarely had a girl surprise me with a cool gift or fun date idea or something like that.

    I would like to find a girl who does not become very clingy, doesn't cheat, but still finds a way to keep me on the edge. Someone who can challenge me intellectually (seriously, this isn't that hard. I'm a computer programmer for Christ's sake, it's not like I have a liberal arts education or something), who can surprise me once in a while, and stays interesting even after we date. Is this demanding?


    BTW... calling Fagio Stone to this thread, we want to hear your opinion on this! hahahaha
  • Sally
    Sally wrote:
    cuz im a insecure freak, dont trust anyone...also cuz of that, i let my ex go
  • №❶ Passioη
    Jon Gu, This is exactly why we should try something different for once - don't trust girls, they have failed... so I would bring my 'transgendered ass' to you for free. yes that's right - very very free ;) Ok, let's get serious..

    I think I have some of your answers while Kodi has the rest.... I used to be like that (your description above) when I was 16-18 years old (a strong psycho creativity for pleasing girls)... but guess what? the ones I spent time, efforts and / or money chasing are the ones who later proved to be harder to get... Damn it hehe... Anyway, this seemingly persistent gold-digger quality may also be influence by certain factors:

    1. Where you met the girl (club or where)
    2. The past experiences of such a girl (if she's used to having guys handle bills)
    3. Your manner of approach to getting her (Like - you may have announced early to her you're an ABC blah blah giving her the impression that you came into town with a shipload of USDs - so why should she bother about the bills?)

    Hmm... assuming it's none of the above,

    Girls have this strong sub-consciousness well integrated with their 7th sense - that flashes a red-light against anyone who tries to please them at early dating stages (desperate girls may be exempted from this category)... They also have a short attention span to a new guy who's "trying to get in". They would also unfairly compare the feeling you give them to what they are getting from another guy (which usually has nothing to do with the amount of money spent) and decide who's worth their time while still smiling at you and letting you talk to yourself...

    Moment of truth: Only virgin girls really like "nice guys", the rest only say they do... Most of my girls now were gotten through some careless means (little or no mental efforts at all, no money spent, no calls to them). In fact, when was time to pay dinner bills most times, I usually pretended my wallet was stuck, I was trying to pull it out, then the female would always say: "Oh, don't worry, I already paid, etc"... So sweet.. in fact I've intentionally dated girls without taking a penny out the house LOL

    It's good to have a mindset that always says "fock that" when it comes to things like this... Only expend your thinking on your programming . BTW, I'm a software project manager, Nice to met you Jon... I now pass you over to Kodi LOL
  • Martin MacDonald
    want to be single ... too much heartache in relationship :(
  • Yomik
    Yomik wrote:
    我现在只想遇到一个真正用心,真心实意来爱我的人和我谈恋爱,不要为了结婚来找个人娶了算了,不是为了和我上床才愿意认识我,不要拿我的真诚当儿戏,感情游戏我玩不起!~~·哎!为什么会单身,我也不知道!
  • Yomik
    Yomik wrote:
    不会真和算命的说的一样吧?说我感情容易被人骗,我用真心来对待别人,可是好像现实结果都和想象的永远差距甚大,奇怪啊
  • Joakim Berg Solum
    Cindy, if you "want" to be single, why not just become single? What's stopping you?

    No1 Passion, I get the opposite problem actually... the ones I chase harder tend to like me faster and when that happens, I feel bored, like I already accomplished my mission (get the girl) and now it is their turn to do some work to try to keep me interested. Why should the man constantly be the one doing all the dating work? I invest a lot of time and effort into a woman and expect more than just her to "give in" to me and give me whatever I want... I need her to play an active part in the relationship too.

    And I don't think anyone thinks I'm an ABC with a bucket of USD to spend. I'm a grad student and I usually make it pretty clear that I have no money at all hahaha
  • Jon Marius Røren
    dont wanna be settled too early

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