Discussion » Dating & Romance » Importance of propose, ways of propose,

  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:
    One of my best female friend and I just had a conversation. She went to the UK after graduated from high school, and settled down since then. Several days ago her mom asked her, what's the "procedure" of getting married for nowadays Chinese young generation, she totolly don't know how to answer.

    Then she asked me, how important a formal propose is? is it important to organise a fancy one? I dunno how to answer, and we both agree that, for lots of couple, they get married just becoz they cant find a decent reason not getting married, and a propose, esp. an sudden and romantic one, seems sorts of unnecessary?

    I've chatted it with my gf before, she said she want a romantic propose, but warned me do not try it in public places(or she'll kill me), but just make it between us~ and she's not interested in a luxury wedding ceremony, but would rather spend the fund on a long tour on journeys, like go to the tropic "coral reef countries", or somewhere else. She told me she'll get worried even thinking abt the details of preparing for a big ceremony.

    But I still don't know what's you girls opinion on it. Is it important to have a very formal propose? Is it important to have a sudden or fancy one? and how abt wedding ceremony?
  • Miriam Pedersen
    "she said she want a romantic propose, but warned me do not try it in public places(or she'll kill me)"

    hehe, remind me of my ex-gf.

    Ok, I don't want to steal the show for the girls here. But I think there are girls, who do not want to get married (then no need to think about all the crap coming along with it). Then there are the other girls, which at least wanna try to get married once. Not be cause it's necessary, but because they want at least get the experience so they can talk about it or show off. Usually the latter girls want the complete program. Just for fun and not because they deeply believe in it. And of course there is the last group of girls, who really consider marriage a mandatory step in life. For that group, the wedding itself could be formal but they will also accept a shorter or sudden version, because its not the wedding, which is important to them but the result. Your gf seems to belong to the last group. So you lucky one.

    So I think it really depends of the sort of girl. The more formal thing a girl insist on the more she miss the true point of getting marrried. Imho.

    Personally, I wanna have wedding at least twice. Once in Vegas and once on Bora Bora :) So I think I'm the second type, although I'm a man :)
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Proposal:

    My proposal happened during a buffet dinner at Stamford Hotel ... I went early to get a good table (by the fountain) and flowers, and my sister went to pick up my wife ... my wife thought we were just celebrating my birthday (well, that's also true too) so she was quite casual ... it was a Wednesday night, so the place was not packed, just a little crowd ... she was surprised when the waiter brought us the flowers and I took out the ring ... a few people stared, but because of the location of the table, we did not draw too much attention ...

    Wedding:

    Per today's standard, we had a "naked" wedding ... we did the registration, had dinner with family and friends (two tables in Sydney, then two in Hong Kong, then two in Beijing), we did not have a church wedding (I took her to church once on Xmas eve, but it did not work for her, but more importantly, we did not like the idea of rehearsal, heehee) ... and yes, neither of us had a house, and I only had a small car ...

    Honey Moon:

    We came to see her folks in Beijing after we were married, but to this date, she does not consider that being our honey moon ... she still dreams to go to Europe ...

    My conclusion:

    I think most girls like a romantic proposal, candle light dinner, soft music, flowers etc ... a big crowd would not be too good, but a little one with some cheering and clapping might work very well ...

    Wedding ... that's subject to individual ... church being not a very big thing yet in China, "walking down the aisle" might not be what everyone wants ...

    Honey moon ...this is subject to budget, but this is definitely a MUST ...
  • Ms Bla
    Ms Bla wrote:
    "But I think there are girls, who do not want to get married (then no need to think about all the crap coming along with it). Then there are the other girls, which at least wanna try to get married once. Not be cause it's necessary......."
    Yes Humphre you are kinda right .
    why they want to get married ? becoz they met a guy who she liked and match each other but pretersensual him totally, think of that insecurity hence she want get married.
    And.................... yes DingDang u r right . Girls wish want provided with seems your process. but in fact & in real life not every man alike yours.especially we are in the modern times especially the big city. really hard to find out a right one...... =(
    (I'm sorry there is a little bit my emotion .~~~~lol )
  • MiLo
    MiLo wrote:
    进来学习。
  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:
    thank u guys and girls, and damn u Chuck, pay me commission fee first, hahaha~

    lol Isabel, u dont want to get married? so how these stuffs come into your mind, heee~im going to see her this Chrismas, but I think I WONT DO IT THIS TIME

    My concern is, u know, u never know what girls think and want. So, for a girl like my gf, who really don't care abt a fancy ceremony, is it still suck to the core for me to just ask "hey, girl, let's get married, OK?" when lying on sofa, watching football match? And she told me she dont like the propose happens in public place, she's just joking? implying? or serious? Actually im thinking abt the Super Bowl, or Champions League final? I dunno.

    Don't u girls have some kinda expectation??
  • MiLo
    MiLo wrote:
    haha, your post"And she told me she dont like the propose happens in public place, she's just joking? implying? or serious?" leads me to remember one sentence in Chinese "女人心海底针", you never ever know what girls are thinking abt.
    Some girls want the romantic proposal, others not;
    Some girls want the fantastic ceremony, others not;
    But not all the girls told u the true result they want, its a big mission for our guys to dig the truth, oh no I remember another sentence, comes from a song "女孩的心思你别猜" god damnit, what should we guys do???

    whatever, we just want to make it properly to smooth everyone, almost everyone I mean.
  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:
    女人心,海底针,exactly~
  • MiLo
    MiLo wrote:
    hey Da Fan, did u have the nose just like the elephant? If so, pick it up! haha.
  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:
    =_=
  • Steven Ritter
    Steven Ritter wrote:
    I proposed simply while walking about Shangjai....we stopped at the blue Expo friend and I just told her she just had to marry me....thank goodness she said yes. Registration in Nanjing later this month with a wedding party to be determined..perhaps before coming to the USA.

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