Discussion » Nonsense » The Untold Truth

  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:
    this country with such a big population..and people claim to be traditional. sex after marriage only. doesnt really make sense. I wonder how that sex was done after marriage.
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Judging from your numerous forum posts about sex (or in your case, the lack of it) in this country, it appears that you have a quite a few hang ups with the opposite sex.

    Here's a helpful hint:

    No country or it's residents are all THIS or all THAT.

  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:

    your point is?

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    My point is that you should stop issuing blanket statements like, "The Chinese are ALL this or all THAT."

    I'd also advise you to stop grappling with your insecurities on a public forum.

    Just some helpful advice.

  • Yuki Inés
    Yuki Inés wrote:

    West of Beijing and East of Beijing seems to be a totally different world.

    Because:

    why do I all the time see the opposite situations compared to what u post here. "Traditional people" is a word we laugh about a lot among friends.

  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:
    Bra, there is nothing about my insecurities here. this post has nothing related to my personal life. and it doesnt only concern me. the right response to it would answer quite a number of questions among a number of people who has the same concern. Pete, can we just try to concentrate on finding an answer to this and then if u really wanna give me that personal advice. u are welcome just do it in my inbox at least here we can keep it cool according to the post...i know about myself and my weakness but its not the main aim of this post my brother
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    That's cool, Isai. It's just when I hear foreign folks constantly issuing erroneous black and white statements about Chinese culture, it really grinds my gears.

    Hope you find the answers to your questions.

  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:

    we need to know, we belong to you guys now.. we want to be consumed into the current culture we are. but we are facing a biggest cultural transformation (its a challenge), we need to understand where exactly are we heading our selves into.......i guess u just have to try to understand it in that way and ur gears could gleasily run again

  • Cathleen
    Cathleen wrote:
    sex was done...after marriage...is different from before getting married??
    what do u want to know?
  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:

    according to how i know its the same....i wanna know if the way they describe being traditional, does it really mean they really dont have sex?

  • Cathleen
    Cathleen wrote:
    looool...how can anybody know this TRUTH??u wanna launch a questionary here??
    i really do not see ur point...and what for...
    u want to say how untruthful chinese r? or what? #$%^&*(*&^%$#%^%$
  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:

    i just think there is something fishy about them.

  • Cathleen
    Cathleen wrote:
    do NOT judge anyone by ur rules :) it is what i learnt..share with u
  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:

    i didnt judge...i wanna know

  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:
    "this country with such a big population.."-yeah
    "and people claim to be traditional."-who?
    "sex after marriage only."-who?
    "doesnt really make sense."-yeah
    "I wonder how that sex was done after marriage. "-wtf?

    And..."the untold truth"? what???
  • John
    John wrote:
    @FMS Abisai

    You're Black. This is not a racist statement. I'm Black too. Point is, we've been in China for a moment but have only been known to be students. That is changing however.

    Women have to survive. They only have their looks and they have to use that to get them in a decent situation before those tits sag and whatnot. They might get mad at such a statement but they know its true. If you're a "student" and don't fit a particular prototype, you will find many "traditional" girls. This is not just a phenomenon for a Black man in China, its like that all over the world for any man of any race but THIS IS ASIA. You can thank history for that. Times change, people change and not everyone is the same.

    If you ARE a student here I advise you focus on your studies and when you have extra time GET MONEY. Not for the women but for your own mental, physical, spiritual and financial development (because that's not FREE for anyone!). The women will always be there trust me!

    Focus on you and the world will work in your favor. I know from experience. The more experience you get the more you'll realize that a lot of these females out here aren't even worth your time but you have to be about something first. Not saying you aren't. Just saying you're headed for disaster at the moment and might want to look at things differently. You're a guy, you like women but this isn't your country. It's hard for most foreigners to see that because they usually don't have to deal with certain issues that we might have to.

    Don't ever make a thread like this again. And don't try and put up a front either.

    Thanks

    P.S.-Depending on the societal role you're perceived to be playing, your experiences in life will vary. Respect yourself. Love yourself. Say whatever you want but only answer to self.
  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:
    Haha, i just don't know what to say other than that~
  • Renée Lok
    Renée Lok wrote:

    actually nowaday not most of chinese do like you said.some people even said it's hard to find a virgin now.

  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:

    ok guys, u can all see I even changed my name  my profile picture and even asked some to remove me as their friends if they want  cos i think this site is really going into my nerves making me a crazy person  but its coll  thats all came to an end  I am gonna go slow

  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:

    I am sure it happened just like it does before marriage.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    ...

    Isai ... calm down, it is not healthy to get upset about this ... you are what you are, and just by changing a name and/or a photo, it wont change that ...

    True friends are supposed to stick with you, through thick and thin ... and we have a saying in Chinese "君子之交淡若水,小人之交甘若醴", that's why I wrote all those in my description, and I dont make friend request unless I know that person in real life (or had at least chatted with him/her) ... on the other hand, I dont ask people to remove me, because it usually happens over time, hahaha ...

    Take care


  • John
    John wrote:
    Well said Ding Dang! Let's get straight to the point. It's the only way for others to grow or adjust to culture shock.
  • Saint - Spartacus

    "sex after marriage only."-who?

    half of my friends was exactly like that when i was in china

    some of my firend hit to 35 and not even have sex with a man , that's comes too in this country, i like her , sth about the resistence, insistence

    , i like people keep their own way of life and never influced buy nomatter what happend arround ..

    exemple in USA, the actress which play in " the friends" phoebe, she do the first sex after her marriage in her 30 years old

     

    if , i supposed , people get more and more stupid ... and lost so easly, then i also wanna to ask , what's the problem ... bla bla bla ...


  • Saint - Spartacus

    Da Fan

      theoretically  your view seems morden ,but subjective

    maybe need time to know the meaning of moden ,mofen life, fasion,

    old fasion, fasion life , but i also like too see such typical reaction in typical

    area , typical ages .... quite funny !!!     Bla Bla Bla

     

  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:

    "I like people keep their own way and never influenced by no matter what happened around" - I like people who follow their own way, too. However, people never influenced by things happened around? who? We are all influenced by something. Take this vague "topic" as an example. Someone choose to only have sex after marriage, why? born to be such a person? No, he/she's influened by certain tradition or trend. Their are some complicated things, too complicated that someone need to analysis lots of things happened around, hear lots of voices and use his/her own logical reasoning to make a choice. Whether having sex only after marriage is not such a thing. it's nothing abt right or wrong, it's nothing abt truth, it's all abt personal choice. I personally cannot understand why people choose to have sex only after marriage, but I won't say they are illogical, coz it's nothing abt logic. What I hate is one group of people keep on trying to convince the other group of people that keep virginity till married is a what-the-fuck "virtue", or kind of logical decision, and I also hate the other group keep on trying to point out that the "traditional" group of people "out-dated". So, you know what? in my mind, im not modern, coz it's nothing abt the so called "modern"~

  • MiLo
    MiLo wrote:
    WA, nice job Da Fan, i'm your big fan!
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    John said

    Women have to survive. They only have their looks and they have to use that to get them in a decent situation before those tits sag and whatnot. They might get mad at such a statement but they know its true.


    Women only have their looks? Did you just step out of a time machine from the 1950s or something? While we all know that a double standard exists regarding men and women in terms of looks and how it relates to their professional careers, the lack of quantifiers in that statement is alarming. If you said that to any of my highly-educated and accomplished female friends, they'd rip you to fucking shreds.

  • 哎呀
    哎呀 wrote:
    Pete said: "If you said that to any of my highly-educated and accomplished female friends, they'd rip you to fucking shreds. "

    I'm not any of Pete's highly-educated and accomplished female friends, but I'd still rip John to fucking shreds.
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Thanks Maria. We finally agree on something.

  • 哎呀
    哎呀 wrote:
    Yeah, Pete, that's not easy, I know. :P
  • John
    John wrote:
    @Pete

    I'm pretty sure I have female friends who come from schools that rank higher, not that that's really important. Besides, that's all that matters at first sight no??? Once you get to know someone of the opposite, more of their attributes come to play but to deny that looks are a woman's greatest selling point....

    I write for emphasis!

    @Maria Ma

    Rip me, touch me, tease me, abuse me whatever you wanna do to me do it! I'd like to say that I enjoyed typing every last word of that post! : )
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Yeah, I think it is important, John, when you issue misogynist statements about women, claiming that they'd better get when the gettin' is good because they only have their looks to go by.

    In terms of "schools that rank higher," higher than what, exactly?

  • John
    John wrote:
    @Pete

    I have a lot of respect for my close female friends and family members of the opposite. I'm not a misogynist either, I just don't give respect that easily. That doesn't mean I'm going to call women out of their name for no reason either. It just means that until I get to know you (male/female), I probably won't take you too seriously. I'd expect nothing less from others.

    "In terms of "schools that rank higher," higher than what, exactly?"

    Higher than the schools your friends went to. Like I said, its not even important.

    I've talked to accomplished women older than me and have said things to that effect but not in those words. They all nodded in agreement. They took no offense either.

    It is what it is and it takes time for both sides to earn the proper respect.
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    I suppose that the entire female gender must win Saint John's approval to not be painted as money-grubbing hussies. Fair enough.

    You don't know me, nor my friends, so it's a bit presumptious to state that your friends have gone to better schools. That's an objective statement.

  • John
    John wrote:
    Alrighty Pete, you've taken this one too far. There's no need to be so sensitive! And NO, they don't have to win my approval to ...........

    As for the school comment I was just kiddin' with ya. I DO have quite a few friends that can be considered "pluses". Look it up if you don't know what I'm talking about.
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    I'm not sensitive. I'm just reasonably asking you to back up your statements.

    If I need any additional clarification on "pluses," I'll be sure to let you know.

  • John
    John wrote:
    So....when are you NOT serious? Feel free to send me a message if you do need that extra help.
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Will do.


  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:

    i think on this site we have some of u that concentrate on people than just concentrating on the subject at hand. and it ends up as war or words among each other...why dont one of u guys start a discussion related to mocking each other and try to judge each other?

  • John
    John wrote:
    So how long have you been in China?
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    No one's mocking anyone, FMS Abisai. We're simply two gentlemen who have different opinions on the fairer sex.

    Feel free to visit the Yo' Mama thread for some solid trash talking.

    4 years yesterday, actually. Whoop.

  • John
    John wrote:
    Word. Congrats man! I was actually asking FMS Abisai. Obviously he hasn't been here long enough otherwise he wouldn't have bothered to make this thread.

    I remember when I reached my four year mark. That was a few years ago. One thing that's definitely awesome about living in China is when you've reached the "seen it all before" level.
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Thanks. Hoping to see more before I turn into one of those bitter expats who hangs out at the Den, grumbling about the good ol' days and whining about all the young'uns.

  • John
    John wrote:
    Hang in there bro!
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    You too. Good luck with life in the States... make sure to avoid making any statements that will result in you getting slapped around.

  • Mathew Abisai
    Mathew Abisai wrote:

    I guess thats why, I only been here for 2 years  and been an active member of this site probably just for 2 months, 

  • John
    John wrote:
    @Pete

    Thanks man! Most women back home think of me as very polite by the way.... Still in Asia at the moment. I could still use that piece of advice of course!

    @FMS Abisai

    Ok. That makes sense. Certain questions are probably better not asked here. Seriously. There's a lot more to China than just the gals and dysfunctional relationships. Depending on how you spend your time here (there), it can be quite an experience! The longer you're here, the more you'll see!
  • 哎呀
    哎呀 wrote:
    John, I'm sorry to use strong words to describe my feelings. I'm really not good at English expressions.

    "Women only have looks." I hear about this kind of comments very often in China. Especially when a pretty woman is also wealthy, the first impression to men is always she only have looks. She use her looks to get money from men. Men can be so stringy. It seems that they're really not willing to recognize women's power.

    Scientists predict, after 50 years or so, this world will be led by women, more than half billionaires and politician elites will be women. Not sure if this prediction will come true or not, but Johh, better prepared. Say nice words to women from now on. Don't make them angry.:P

    I trust your word is just exaggerated joke. Hope you really don't mean that.
  • John
    John wrote:
    Glad you understand Maria. For most women its true. There are other women who work really hard and perform even better than men and those I hold in high esteem because they don' t usually take the feminist approach. They love what they do and know how to make friends with everyone.

    It's all about working together. Just as long as we don't shove our "accomplishments" into each other's faces then I think it will be easier for both man and woman in this age to make great contributions to society. What I honestly DON'T like is how a lot of women feel that they need to compete with us. Man or woman if you are secure then you know the goal is to work with others and improve yourself to the best of your ability.

    Nice piece of advice there but I don't think its in my best interest to fear any man or woman. We're here to work together. Everything else is just an illusion.

    When I was in a serious relationship (3+ years and we still talk), I was able to tell her what was right when it was needed and she was able to do the same to me. We both had our strengths and weaknesses and we helped each other through the hard times. Whether its a girlfriend or a coworker if I can't have that type of relationship with a woman where we're both benefitting then I don't want to be bothered. I'm about progress.

    Hope that's clear enough....
  • John
    John wrote:
    @Mac

    You just signed my guestbook asking for help on how to put music on the profile page. I even brought back up the thread where 叮当 told users of WLIB how and now I find you're cursing me out?

    I never said I represented Blacks (as if some of them are worth representing), I just gave FMS some good advice, that is if he wants to do something worthwhile with his life in China. Even Pete didn't curse me out. Goddamn dawg! hahahahaha

    I'm sorry but I'm laughin' at ya ass!

    Yo yo! Who da fuck? Who da fuck? Hahahahahahah

    I bet FMS IS yo man ain't he? He's ya man and you're his bitch! Don't worry about those guys! It's you and me against the world! lol

    What makes this even funnier is that you go on to tell FMS the same thing but in different words.
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    John and I were having a rational discussion, 马克, and managed to agree to disagree. I'm not sure why you're so upset.

    I'd comment more, but your fractured use of the English language is giving me a headache and I'm afraid that I have neither the time nor patience to pick through your response in order to find everything that'd be wrong with it.

  • John
    John wrote:
    You know how you're on the court playin' ball and its all fun and games 'till the girls walk by? Next thing you know guys on the court stop laughing, start mean mugging and call foul while adding in a few expletives every 15 seconds. Not all of the guys, just one or two that try to impress the ladies. I'm too old for that.

    Dude was just askin' me for help on his guestbook and now he turns around on the forum board and goes on his period....

    SMH (shakin' my head)
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Hey! Don't talk about 50 Cent that way!

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    That's excellent logic, 马克.

    Here's an idea:

    Learn how to debate using logic - not inchoate threats using street talk - and get back to me. There are plenty of good English schools here in Beijing. Should you need a recommendation, I'd be more than happy to help you out.

    Cheerio!


  • John
    John wrote:
    My nigga. This here is the internet. All that poppin' off at that the mouth doesn't mean anything here. Stop frontin' for these hoes man. Where I'm from the words that just came out of your mouth in these last couple posts would've gotten you killed. I speak on here the same way I do in real life. I'm not gonna sit here and try and go back and forth with you because I finish what other niggas start.

    Remember that ho.

    Since you like 50 Cent: http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjA0NTcwMzI=.html
  • John
    John wrote:
    My personal favorite: http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XOTI4ODQ0NA==.html
  • John
    John wrote:
    Da best asshole you've seen? You got me mixed up. You must be talkin' about ya man FMS.
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Ok I think dat maybe nex tim I be try to tak at yo level... so we be seein da logics and and maybe undastand each odda better cuz ya like yeah... know what I means?

    I'm out.

     

  • John
    John wrote:
    You're a joke. I'm out.
  • John
    John wrote:
    "If you're successful they try to make you feel as if you're not. If you're calm, patient and caring they try to piss you off. Whatever "good" can or has been attributed to your being, there's always one loser who tries to get your attention by throwing what they perceive to be your weakness in your face. I'm too old for these games. I couldn't lose even if I tried. I know, that pisses you off."

    That said, I'm gonna act like this didn't even happen. I can post at any time of the day because I work for myself. I make my own rules. I can go to any part of the world I want. I wish you the best of luck in Beijing man. Hope you got some PMs.

    I'd also like to say that I "cleared things up" when I responded to Maria, long before you decided to stand up for whatever you decided to stand up for. Just like Pete said earlier, we were having a rational conversation and I'm sure Pete understands my sense of humor. In the end it was no big deal to begin with. There was no need whatsoever to even come off like that. That's cool though. If it makes you feel like a man then that's cool. Nothing wrong with venting online. Just be careful who and what you vent your anger at in real life because it could end in your demise.

    I'm not the one to fuck with.

    PEACE
  • John
    John wrote:
    P.S.-Thanks man I needed that. Been out the hood too long....

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