Discussion » Nonsense » Yo' mama jokes!

  • Ole-Marius
    Ole-Marius wrote:
    Allright, instead of being rude to eachother, let's blow off our trough the best Your mama! jokes as possible, like on MTV's Yo Mama show :-) The rules are to diss someones mama and the person itself the worst possible way in order to piss off the person you diss (but let's try not to offend eachother directly here, that could get VERY messy)..

    "Your mama so fat, when could solve the food crisis in Afrika!"
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:
    Yo' mama so bald, she took a shower and got brainwashed.
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:
    ... is free and open to the public.
  • Man TianFei
    Man TianFei wrote:
    this mama soooooo poor~
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:
    Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the beach, cats try to bury her.
  • Ole-Marius
    Ole-Marius wrote:
    Your mama so fat, you could see her farts from space: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/39/2004_Indonesia_Tsunami.gif
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:
    Wow, Ole, that's so wrong. Like, 230,000 people died when that ho farted. Must've been yo' mama.

    With that said, yo' mama's glasses are so thick, she can see into the future.

    http://www.infocellar.com/life/images/ugly1.jpg
  • Ole-Marius
    Ole-Marius wrote:
    Yo' mama is a homosexual. Face it, you're adopted!
  • Kent Løset
    Kent Løset wrote:
    Yo' momma so fat, she wears an asteroid belt.
  • Kent Løset
    Kent Løset wrote:
    Yo' momma so fat, when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:
    Hahaha. But not as fat as yo' mama, who's so fat that when she was floating in the ocean, Spain came by and claimed her as a new world.
  • Ole-Marius
    Ole-Marius wrote:
    Yo' mama so black, they invented the Large Hydron Collider in order to find her.
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:
    Not as black as yo' mama, who went to night school and was marked absent.
  • Kent Løset
    Kent Løset wrote:
    Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
  • Kent Løset
    Kent Løset wrote:
    Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
  • Peter Baird
    Peter Baird wrote:
    Yo mamma is so fat. But I nailed her anyway.
  • Steven Ritter
    Steven Ritter wrote:
    Lighten up Shino...we are all respectful to our parents/"mamas" This is in fun and not intended for anyones particular "mama" except's Pete... he is too damn funny and Sheryl, who can keep up with anyone
  • Kent Løset
    Kent Løset wrote:
    Shino: come on, this isn't serious at all! I know that my mother is not fat, ugly or stupid, so if someone said to me "Yo' momma is so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through. " - there is no way i am going to be offended by that - cause that has absolutely NO root in reality :-)
  • Kent Løset
    Kent Løset wrote:
    Yo momma so fat, when she walks down the street with a skirt, her ass looks like two pigs fighting under a carpet.
  • Adnan Jabbar
    Adnan Jabbar wrote:
    yo mamma so fat that even Usama-Bin-Laden use her ass to store BIO WEAPONS !
  • Kent Løset
    Kent Løset wrote:
    Yo momma so fat when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.
  • Adnan Jabbar
    Adnan Jabbar wrote:
    Yo Momma so fat that every time she goes to McDonalds the joker bitch slap her ! and tell her "Don't come here again it's bad for our business" Damn bitch eat everything and we have to call a new stock in afternoon !
  • Kent Løset
    Kent Løset wrote:
    Yo mamma so ugly, she got arrested for mooning when she looked out a window.
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:
    Peter: Yo' mama is so poor, she drives a peanut.

    Steven: Yo' mama so old, she ran track with dinosaurs.

    Yadan: Yo' mama is so fat, she fell in love and broke it.

    Adnan: Yo' mama is so dark, she has to wear white gloves when eating Tootsie Rolls so she doesn't chew off her fingers.

    Kent: Yo' mama is so dirty, she's gotta creep up on the bathwater.

    Shino: Yo' mama looks like Rambo.
  • NN
    NN wrote:
    Why mama is so poor to be joked? *sigh*
  • Pavoir Sponse
    Pavoir Sponse wrote:
    Yo' Momma change her lipstick so often, my cock look like a rainbow....
  • 哎呀
    哎呀 wrote:
    Yo mama is so stupid, even Pete Demola knows this word's meaning.
  • Siliconfish
    Siliconfish wrote:
    You were born cause yo'mamma didn't learn from her parents' mistake.

    Yo'mamma so wasted that runs the ethanol in her veins.

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:
    Maria: Yo' mama is so fat, she got hit by a bus and said "Who threw that rock?"
  • 哎呀
    哎呀 wrote:
    Pete, not as fat as your mama.

    Yo mama is so fat, the whole America will be protected well if rising her into the sky, no need to build National Missile Defence.
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:
    That's nothing comparing to yo' mama's mama, who is so poor, she has to eat soup with a fork to save money.

    And she has a glass eye with a fish in it.
  • 哎呀
    哎呀 wrote:
    My mama' mama is poor, but your mama' mama is poor and MEAN. She borrowed my mama's mama's fork to till her garden and borrowed her glass eye when she went to the club.

    And never returned!!!
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:
    Zing!
  • Pavoir Sponse
    Pavoir Sponse wrote:
    Wow, Pete your mum is seriously mean. I mean stealing a glass eye with a fish in it? Man...
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:
    Not as mean as yo' mama, Carlos. The McDonald's she works at stops serving Happy Meals when she clocks in.
  • Peter Baird
    Peter Baird wrote:
    Not only that Maria, but Pete's mooma is so poor she can't even afford to go to the free clinic.
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:
    When I was at yo' mama's house, Peter, I asked her to use the toilet and she said, "Yeah, go outside and it's the fourth tree on your right."
  • Peter Baird
    Peter Baird wrote:
    That's true Pete, but the last time I saw your mamma she was kicking a can down the street. I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "Moving".
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:
    Shino, yo' mama is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book. And your grandma is so stupid, she sold the family car for gas money.

    Peter's mama is so ugly, her shadow gave up. And Yadan's mama is so ugly, I heard that her dad takes her to work in the morning so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
  • 哎呀
    哎呀 wrote:
    Shino, yo mama is so kind, she born you in order for Pete not to feel so lonely for being stupid.

    Yadan's mama is ugly, her family celebrate Halloween everyday.

    And Pete, sorry to declare this news:

    Yo mama was murdered, because she's Sheryl's colleague!
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:
    Hm, that first one doesn't make any sense, Maria.

    See if this one does:

    Yo' mama is stupid, she got locked in the bathroom and almost pissed her pants.
  • Kent Løset
    Kent Løset wrote:
    Yo mama so old she thought Jurassic Park was a science-fiction movie.
  • Ole-Marius
    Ole-Marius wrote:
    Shino: Yo' mama so dumb, she gets angry when they skip her round on Jeopardy.
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:
    Shino: Yo' mama is so nasty, when she masturbates, she gets arrested for cruelty to animals.
  • Kent Løset
    Kent Løset wrote:
    Yo momma so ugly, it looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork.
  • Henriette Kvammen
    Your mama so disapointed when she reads what you write about her...
  • Kate
    Kate wrote:
    Shakil, but your mama more disappointed when she could not find China on local map.
  • Henriette Kvammen
    Kate, your mama must be angel giving birth to such a direct beauty...
  • Kent Løset
    Kent Løset wrote:
    Peter: Yo mama so fat national geographics filmed a 20 episode long documentary about extreme organisms in her vagina unveiling over 20.000 new species including 3 Indian tribes never before exposed to the modern world.
  • Man TianFei
    Man TianFei wrote:
    搞不懂,这个帖子的笑点在哪里?
  • Kent Løset
    Kent Løset wrote:
    Little Slow:

    In the comedy field, humour induces an "economized expenditure of emotion" (Freud calls it "economy of affect" or "economy of sympathy". Freud produced this final part of his interpretation many years later, in a paper later supplemented to the book.).[7][9] In other words, the joke erases an emotion that should be felt about an event, making us insensitive to it.e.g: "yo momma" jokes. The profound meaning of the void feeling of a humour joke is "I'm a cynic". An example from Woody Allen:
    “ Three times I've been mistaken for Robert Redford. Each time by a blind person. ”

    This field of jokes is still a grey area, being mostly unexplored. Extensive use of this kind of humour can be found in the work of British satirist Chris Morris, like the sketches of the Jam television program.

    Black humour and sarcasm belong to this field.
  • Man TianFei
    Man TianFei wrote:
    kent, thank u for your Patiently explained ^-^
  • Kcina
    Kcina wrote:
    hey ,guys your mamas are so 2 centuries in late ,that`s why she keeps wearing knickers on her trousers...
  • Ole-Marius
    Ole-Marius wrote:
    Yo mama so ugly, she's a government secret.
  • Peter Baird
    Peter Baird wrote:
    Pete, yo mamma is so nasty she brings crabs to the beach.
  • 哎呀
    哎呀 wrote:
    Peter said:
    "Pete DeMola: Yo mama so fat I need a flashlight, topography map and a search and rescue team to have sex with her."

    Pete, yo mama is so disgusting, how could she sleep with a person like Peter?

    Peter said:
    "Maria Ma: Yo mama's house so nasty I gotta wipe my feet before I go back outside."

    Peter, yo mama's house is more nasty, American government plans to build a garbage power plant on her house.

    Älëx, yo mama is so ugly, there's no one wanting to flee to West German after she's appointed as a guard of Berlin Wall.
  • 哎呀
    哎呀 wrote:
    Oh, God, Peter, who wants to be funny? I'm just telling everyone the truth! about you, and yo mama!

  • 哎呀
    哎呀 wrote:
    And Peter, yo mama is also so fat, the main topic in near Copenhagen meeting is about how to exterminate her, cause she emits too much CO2! As long as she lives, there's no way to control global warming.
  • 哎呀
    哎呀 wrote:
    Alex, I worry about you could not understand this joke, that's why I explain it clearly.

    So it seems you do know something, good for you!:P
  • 哎呀
    哎呀 wrote:
    Ole: Yo mama is so simple, but why Alex still can't understand her jokes?
  • 哎呀
    哎呀 wrote:
    Peter, 你妈喊你回家吃饭!

    If you can understand this, I 服了you for ever!!!
  • Ikevenson
    Ikevenson wrote:
    alright, I will take it a little bit farther:

    Yo mama is such a big slut that she....oh wait I cant say this right now, since yo mama is sucking my ****..
    :)
  • Kcina
    Kcina wrote:
    when you were young , you mama was so muscular so when she went to your school because her little boy had been hit ,she weared leggings to fight other mamas ,since her nickname is killing mouves ...
  • 哎呀
    哎呀 wrote:
    Alex, do you know whose afterbirth Peter's mama raised? It's definitely not from humans... Gorilla?
  • 哎呀
    哎呀 wrote:
    Oh, Alex, you are right, must from his mama, because:

    Peter's mama is so ugly, travelers display her to see animals stampede in Africa.
  • Siliconfish
    Siliconfish wrote:
    Peter,Yo mamma is so fat, nobody can get the cellphone signal when she is in town.
    Maria, yo mamma is so ugly, that even a post-modern artist can't not draw a line about her face.
    Alex, yo mamma is so mean,she folds her newspaper so the guy next to her on the bus can only read half the headline.
    i am bored..bring it on....
  • Ikevenson
    Ikevenson wrote:
    well Peter: everyone is using you as an object of abusing sorry I think I should follow the crowd and get on this as well:

    PETER: You Mama is so good looking that she used to win the title of MR. Universe a year before you were born...
    :)
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:
    This thread is getting too complicated.

    I got nothing bad to say about any of yo' mamas anymore: their faces say it all.
  • 哥们
    哥们 wrote:
    I'm so fat, when I'm at the beach Greenpeace tries to pull me into the water shouting 'don't die whale'
  • Zhishi Ruguo
    Zhishi Ruguo wrote:
    Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation! Guys, where are your mamas?
  • Aurélien
    Aurélien wrote:
    2 Cinema tickets : 10$
    Pop Corn : 3$
    Your mom sucking my candy stick while watching the movie : Priceless

    Sorry :D
  • 哥们
    哥们 wrote:
    Peter, yo mama so ugly, her parents had to fix a sausage around her neck so at least the dogs would play with her
  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:

    Yo mamma is so stupid she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:

    Your momma is so fat she was wearing a Malcom X shirt and a helecopter tried to land on her!

  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:

    Your momma is so fat, she jumped and got stuck.

  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:

    Cmon where did everyone go?  What about my Momma?  haha!

  • 哥们
    哥们 wrote:
    hey Kodi, the Malcom X shirt rocks
  • Stef Ni
    Stef Ni wrote:
    best post ever!!! XXD
  • Stef Ni
    Stef Ni wrote:
    yo mama so butch that people think she's Yo-Yo Ma.
  • Siliconfish
    Siliconfish wrote:
    Oh peter i'm glad that you still remember ! Last time i visited my momma she still kept tha bronze pie trophy...well yo mamma's still got that golden one?Gee it definitely worths a fortune.

    Sheryl,congrats! Yo mamma so butch that she beats Kristen Stewart in the casting of a movie called "HOW DID I RUN OUT OF MY AFTERSHAVE". - O -.
  • Siliconfish
    Siliconfish wrote:
    Poor peter, running out of lines? Strange the dumb gene you inherited from yo mamma should turn you into a fool not a blind. the cat jokes were quoted here like wat,10 times already? so unoriginal. da!
  • Siliconfish
    Siliconfish wrote:
    wow,i thought that's a secret! what enlightened persona u peter. I saw you in my momma's doctor logs. Really there's nothing to be shamed on about that penis enlargement surgery you had last summer. Well maybe i would call it "not so supportive" while ur mamma didn't pay for you afterwards but hey my momma really didn't care. "The kid has suffered enough already."She told me.
  • DonkeyTonk
    DonkeyTonk wrote:
    Yo momma so fat and sexy. Have I done it right?
  • wrote:
    Yo' mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she really sits AROUND the house
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Shino
    You sound like you're either mentally retarded or a complete psychopath.

    Which one is it?

  • Kalle Stensson

    LET`S PITY FOR Pete DeMola`s mama....Cuz his dick`s so small that till now his mommy doesnt know if she has a son or a daughter......

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    I wasn't talking to you, Mike, but since you've distinguished yourself as a complete dumbass for not knowing how to tell a yo' mama joke:

    Yo' mama got fired for a blow job.

     

  • Kalle Stensson
    just thought i had to joke at the person above me....no offence,Pete...
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    None taken, Mike. But yo' mama jokes are aimed at the person's mama, not the mama's progeny.

    Still waiting to find out Shino's deal. Part of me thinks that she is running Chinese through a really bad translation program, and the other thinks she's gone full retard.

     

  • 哎呀
    哎呀 wrote:
    I love Shino! She makes life colorful!
  • Yuki Inés
    Yuki Inés wrote:

    我以为,耍流氓=浪

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