Discussion » Dating & Romance » The More You Know, the Less You Want

  • John
    John wrote:
    There's a huge difference between dating at 16, 26 and 36. I'll let you guys come to your own conclusions if you haven't already...
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    16 ... left Hong Kong for Brisbane Australia, did not do much dating in either city
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    26 ... getting ready to migrate from HK to Sydney, so decided not to date anyone, in case it might complicate things
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    36 ... just got married for one year ... not allowed to date anymore ... hahaha
  • Kodi
    Kodi wrote:

    You said it man.  However more I learn about women the harder it is for me to find what I want and harder for me to date because I am afraid to hurt people if things do not work out because it is usually a pproblem I have with the relationship and not their fault.  It really is discouraging.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)
    Kodi ... me? Or John?
  • John
    John wrote:
    I believe Kodi was talking to me. However I'm not afraid of hurting people or being hurt. I see this whole dating thing for what it is......a game. You can either play it right or allow yourself to be played in the name of love. That doesn't mean that I'll be going around hurting different women's feelings, it simply means that I'm aware of a lot of the stuff going on out there that nobody wants to talk about so I lay my cards on the table for the girl I'm dealing with to see. If she doesn't like it its not my loss. If she's ok with it then we're both happy for however long that will last. As a man, the smartest thing to do is get someone while you're both young and grow with them without giving them too much pressure. Let women know that while they call themselves investing in you you're doing the same with them. If you can do that, it really won't matter how you look, how much money you have or what school you went to. You may not be able to have the girl you WANT, but you'll have the girl you NEED, and if you're looking to have a decent career, the latter far outweights the former.
  • Sophie
    Sophie wrote:
    John :I guess women are very brave coz I found out that usually men are very afraid of starting a serious relationship,but women are not. So maybe they'd rather do the random plays. That can make them dumb and numb. I am not 26 yet so I have no idea that what i will have at that time. But when I was 16, pretty much like other typical teenagers, was looking for something pure, like what have been always showed in the movies. Didn't dare to say much to express myself, but always have someone in the bottom of my heart, warm me in the cold winter. It was beautiful.... I believe in serendipity...never dated on purpose ...at least i can get a friend if i am lucky ha ha
  • John
    John wrote:
    Women for the most part are only as brave as the man's career options. No offense but that's how the REAL world works. Just checked out your profile. At 20 you still have a lot to learn. I have a lot to learn as well but yeah the way you see relationships as well as who you're in a relationship with changes dramatically over time. You search for love and then settle for lust as time goes buy and as well know....lust feels much better than love! Based on your pictures I don't think you'll ever have any trouble getting a friend or two. Could you say the same for me? ; ) LOL
  • John
    John wrote:
    *as we all know
  • Sophie
    Sophie wrote:
    ha ha John that was cute:p I've learnt lots of things from my ex boyfriends. So it's not a bad thing to have a relationship sometimes. Coz you can get closer to ur partner and learn lots of new things. It's great! ha ha
  • Sophie
    Sophie wrote:
    sorry , i meant to get closer to see someone clearer
  • John
    John wrote:
    Yeah, a relationship is definitely worth having but after awhile......
  • Sophie
    Sophie wrote:
    but after a while?? why u guys always like to estimate the ending...before u start it....nobody knows what will happen...and the best u can do is just trying to have more fun ,enjoy every moment that u 've been together. For other things, u can't control it. Just make it clear for urself, u want to have fun with this lady or u want something more serious with her. so that will help u choose how to treat her. And normally the result always depends on the way how u treat her though. Women are sensitive, they care about those details...so that's why most of the women are very emotional...
  • John
    John wrote:
    What did you think "lay my cards on the table" meant? I'm not the one with the problem here. My point is that we value relationships at a younger age but as we get older we it loses its lustre. I really don't need any advice on women to be honest with you. Read my first post again to see how I REALLY feel about things.
  • Sophie
    Sophie wrote:
    according to the last line of ur first post, sounds like u were saying the one we will marry may not be the one we love, but the one we need as a perfect life partner?
  • John
    John wrote:
    Is that necessarily a bad thing?
  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:
    Not necessarily a bad thing, but as I can find no logical conflict between a perfect life partner and someone i love, I'd still like to marry someone who got these two character :-)
  • Sophie
    Sophie wrote:
    I did not say that's a bad thing...and actually somehow that's true though...just sometimes feel a little bit confused...at this moment, always can hear someone saying this to me: you will know someday.....ha ha
  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:
    Sophie, most people tend to unpromtedly, mistakenly consider their being cynical as a sign of maturity, never mind, just stick to what you believe~~
  • John
    John wrote:
    @Sophie I just wanted to see what you had to say. Doesn't hurt to challenge someone's ideas every now and then instead of always forcing your own conclusions onto others. YOU WILL KNOW SOMEDAY. LOL @Da Fan I agree that in most cases there really exists no 'logical conflict between a perfect life partner and someone you love'. Yet, it takes EFFORT to find someone that possesses both desired traits. Most people just stop with looks or whatever emotions they may have at one particular moment.
  • John
    John wrote:
    Beautifully put.
  • Steven Ritter
    Steven Ritter wrote:
    I agree too. When we are young (I married at 22) we see life/romance/love as a hope for the future with eyes wide and bright........for the Chinese culture it seems more about economics, what the partner can do for their future. When marrying later and careers are more established, and money and having children are not important, I know for me at 58, it is for love, companionship, educated conversation, and the home qualities marriage brings caring, better eating, and a partnership.
  • NN
    NN wrote:
    16yrs old she is really an innocent girl,and you do not stress out any more to have the relationship with her,she is just like your cute baby

    26yrs old she started to worry if you will dump her one day,so she is asking for marriage and safe,and you are being tensive and stressing out,she seems the huge stone on your back

    36yrs old she is a mature lady and what she does just make you safe and relaxed.But meantime you started to feel tired to see her everyday,so affairs appear....

    End of the story,you get conclusion,this is life,and people keep growing up even when they are 30 or 40 yrs old
  • Steven Ritter
    Steven Ritter wrote:
    Nana, sadly what you say seems to happen so often.

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