Discussion » Dating & Romance » What's wrong with one night stands?

  • John
    John wrote:
    What's wrong with a 419? It's just two people havin' a good time with no strings attached? I don't see any harm in it so why do you? All you have to do is keep it between you and the person you're havin' fun with and nobody gets hurt. Most of us look for love but can't find it anyway.....
  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    STDs, for one. But hey, whatever floats your boat.

  • Winnie
    Winnie wrote:
    i dont think its not wrong as long as no one's hurt. that's the bottom line.
    but personally, i dont think one night stands is right either.
    it's weird to sleep with someone you dont have feelings for..thats just me.
    i used to wish my first kiss, my night, first whatever would happen with that one guy that i would spend my whole life with....hmm...it didnt work out that way. but that doesnt mean we can just go around and sleep with others....some ppl do that..i dont have comments on that really.
    i think humen are creatures of conflict. when you can have it all, that all doesnt mean much and less attractive. when you save yourself for someone you really care, then it's more enjoyable. right?
  • John
    John wrote:
    Yeah it helps to be cautious. I'm not saying that you should sleep with everyone, but every now and then it doesn't hurt to hook up with someone you find attractive. Communication is key. I've had my share of fun but I was responsible with the person I had something going on with. And I'm clean (LOL). I agree that you should save some things for that special person but if you don't put yourself out there every now and then you'll never know who they are! You meet the right people in the strangest places and I'm not just talking about for sex....
  • Joakim Lund Rangel
    I don`t mind sleeping with someone I don`t have feelings for.
  • Joakim Lund Rangel
  • Kent Løset
    Kent Løset wrote:
    Joakim: The girls that sleeps with you probably don't have feelings for you either X-D It's a win-win situation!
  • John
    John wrote:
    I always sleep with girls I have "feelings" for! I couldn't have it any other way!
  • Winnie
    Winnie wrote:
    aiya, i actually perfer not to have friends that do ONS. it's not that i think they are bad ppl or anything like that. it's just they are quite different from who i am. and we all tend to hang out with ppl with alike us.
    but honestly, i do know someone like that..not exactly ONS,but have had quite a number of partners. i personally do not think any less of him and he's smart.
    but i would give him a second thought if it comes to romance. becos of the diffrerences.
    it's kind of like smoking. there's nothing really bad about it. (0nly not physcially unhealthy). now i think about friends that i have, 90% of them do not smoke. i guess there's something different behind all habits that separate ppl apart.
    same thing with ONS, within your own ONS-ok ppl, nothing is wrong and it's perfectly normal.
  • Daniel
    Daniel wrote:

     

    I think it basically boils down to how important you consider sex to be. To go all armchair-sociologist: I think the high-importance of sex harks back to marriage and it being one of the things reserved for committing yourself to one person.

    But I think with more relaxed attitudes towards marriage and divorce, especially in Western cultures, sex has also become less of a mythical/romantic thing, and I think this is where the conflict arises. Some people see sex as being part of that higher-emotional experience, others just don't anymore(culturally, rather individually speaking)

    I have no problem with one night stands incidently, but I've also had girlfriends that were so far opposite on that scale that I don't really think it's a compatibility problem. I think attitudes towards sex aren't really that important if there's clear communication and the guy(because, well, it's traditionally the guy that has the casual sex mentality) isn't trying to be misleading.

  • Sophie
    Sophie wrote:
    Well, have to say ,at the most of the time when the 419 happens, people are always getting tipsy or maybe mad drunk. I have a story to tell about this, few years ago, I have a foreign friend how is just a little boy , 19 years old? and one night he was really mad drunk at the bar, and then a 45 years old lady with long hair but not a pretty face showed up next to him with milk in her hand. Didn't know what they were talking about though but honestly that lady kept using the body language so I guess she can't speak English. The thing is the body language worked, they left together, and I heard something hilarious next day. This guy woke up and found out a deadly ugly old woman lying beside him naked. He almost cried out on her shoulder. Well, and guess what, that lady asked for some cash, he threw her 500 kuai and then kicked her out of the door. After that, people gave that lady a name which is mamasang or whatever. Well don't know if i did spell it right or not but guess everybody knows what that means. So u see, the alcohol can make people blind and deaf even, maybe he was imagining that he was having sex with beyounce, but ended up with an old lady who can be his mother. It's fun to play it when we are young and during the period which is exploring sex. But after that time, sure u will get bored and dislike it very much! Well, my opinion is after u get to be very skillful with sex, go to the higher level, make love! and make fantastic one with the lady u love! Good luck!
  • Kelsangmetok Wu

    Life is short, have sex, be safe! (I actually have these words on one of my shirts)

    Nothing wrong with one night stand! it's usually hot and steamy.. i like it!

  • Andrew Mark
    Andrew Mark wrote:

    One night stand is the subject of this forum?

    First thing i am going to say is Kelsang Metok - i think you will suddenly find many people adding you as a friend here : )  Must be they liked your proflie !   or because of your liberal policy towards one night stands! 

    Now with regards to my thoughts on one night stands - Its not my business what other people do! And I would not discuss my private life with strangers::P

    Oh and Sophie - thats a really cool story about the guy picking up the older woman haha !! thanks for sharing it..  What about the story where the woman is much younger and more beautiful? haha

     

     

  • S.Xuer
    S.Xuer wrote:

    STDs is the first concern, and ONS if ya think it hurts nothing, well, that's your way of having it as a way-out exercise? Well, I personally agree that ONS is nowadays stress-out routine life products in China it's normal, but in the eyes of a traditional Chinese woman, I can't think it has nothing wrong , cuz ages ago, this would cause a crime of adultery, and be despised by ppl. It's a moral issue for a woman if you slept with someone you don't know, how shall you face the future when you educate your kids not sleeping around? Being a model is important at first in my eyes. Yes, at least in a woman's eyes.

    Maybe guys have different way of thinking,and that explains why now this topic is raised by a guy here.

    Oh, Sophie gives a good lesson for boys now, lol

  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:
    419? Only one night with a total stranger? and very possible that one of you are somewhat drunk? Umm...maybe it's a little bit fun, but I think it's really not that fun to do it with a starfish or impotent drunker...

    Why only 419? If you're ok with fooling around, find a pal you like, get to know each other, and build the sense of intimacy first! A good sex is far more beyond the the neural impulses generated by your genital organs
  • John
    John wrote:
    It doesn't hurt to break tradition every now and then. You can learn a lot about yourself and you'll be more likely to give your child/children useful advice when it comes to 做人ing. That goes for many life issues.
  • S.Xuer
    S.Xuer wrote:

    John, you mean it doesn't hurt how you educate your children of how to be a good wife and women if your wife have say at least 20 ONS-mates when she's young? How it comes when your child found such a lady is her mother, teaching her daughter to be a good girl? Like a bitch/prostitute teaching how to be a noble lady seriously ever after? Can't think it's a wise EXPERIENCE :)

  • John
    John wrote:
    Bitch, ho, slut, cum guzzla, its all just words. At the end of the day what matters most is what you think of yourself NOT what others say about you. No one is perfect and as a parent its not wise to be overly judgemental. Of course you don't want your child doing WHATEVER they think is best at the moment but if you have had more experience as a young adult you are more likely to give USEFUL advice.


    Let's be honest, most women are NOT going to tell their husband to be that they've had 20 ONS. Shit, the number could be at 35 or higher. Who cares? When it comes to raising a family, the most important thing is financial stability.

    Take the time to look at this world from the sidelines. A lot of people don't practice what they preach, especially as parents. Times are changing. There's a lot of bitches and prostitutes trying to tell their daughters how to be "noble ladies" all over the world....
  • Man TianFei
    Man TianFei wrote:
    ha~,ONS,nothing can say.but the period of time after ONS. do that men high grade or low ?disgusting or lovely? .will be judged,
  • Scarlet Kong
    Scarlet Kong wrote:

    what really matters is that whether you can REALLY have fun. some people don't feel good afterwards especially girls cause they are more sensitive.

    we should be wiser to have fun. 

  • Scarlet Kong
    Scarlet Kong wrote:

    and be wiser to choose sex partner. don't get stds...

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Call me crazy, but appears that John is soliciting for a so-called 419.

  • S.Xuer
    S.Xuer wrote:
    I can't agree more, and chose silent...
  • John
    John wrote:
    I'm not soliciting anything. I'm just asking a question to past the time. What's wrong with that?
  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:
    You're soooo cute, John~
  • John
    John wrote:
    So cute my shit don't stink.....
  • S.Xuer
    S.Xuer wrote:
    It's nothing wrong, but the way you say how a slut educates her future really cooooooooooooooool
  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:
    Wowo, John, the button we gonna click before post a comment turns to be "Agree & post" now, not just "post " anymore. Calm down, hope you're JK~hahaha
  • John
    John wrote:
    Yes, I am joking. I'm not the least bit offended. I just came here to have a good time. This is how I feel:

    Live life and enjoy every minute of it. Live without rules so that you can appreciate them. Get out of your comfort zone every once in a while.

    STOP PUTTING LABELS ON EVERYTHING. It takes away from life's many joys.

    Eat, drink and be merry!
  • John
    John wrote:
    http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjk0OTMyODA=.html
  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:
    I agree with what you said in your 2nd paragraph, but people here are not putting labels on something, just express their feelings, too. Or, what is a LABEL? When"It sucks" is a LABEL, why "It's awesome" isn't?

    Be merry!
  • John
    John wrote:
    Interesting point.
  • Peter Baird
    Peter Baird wrote:
    I'm going to ignore most of the posts here since I've apparently joined this discussion far too late.

    Nothing wrong with one night stands, as long as both parties clearly understand each other. The way I see it , if you're in bed with someone you've known for 6 hours, you don't have any reasonable expectation of long term romance.

    However...there are hazzards. I met a guy last summer who had a one nighter with a girl he met on the internet. She robbed him blind while he was asleep. One of my best friends slept with a girl he just met in the Phillipines, and she told him if he didn't give her money she would tell the hotel manager he had raped her.

    That is just the tip of the iceberg. Way worse things can happen to you. So...do I think I one night stands are bad? No...they can in fact be quite good. But they can also be dangerous. Play safe out there, kids.

  • Emaline Yuan
    Emaline Yuan wrote:
    John:You are making it seem a lot simpler than it is...well for one... if you meet the person that night, how can you know they are disease free?

    Daniel Godfrey :good opinion...
    I agree that it is affecting by view of sex.I think it happens and it's up to each to decide if it's right for them.Generally I think that for some people it's fine, but I prefer to be in a relationship with someone clean for a close relationship like that.
  • John
    John wrote:
    Emaline Yuan: I made it simpler than it is for the sake of conversation.
  • John
    John wrote:
    @Nada

    LOL! Very true!
  • John
    John wrote:
    Say what?
  • .
    . wrote:
    Nothing is wrong with it as long as you do it with the right person and you both enjoy it. I think 419 can be a very heathy way to enjoy life if you can handle it right. Why need to buy the whole pig if you only want one sausage?
  • NN
    NN wrote:
    In the other side, ONS meansTEMPTATION,why ONS?Because cant get yourself controlled well and sit far away from the temptation.
    If you are single,then it is really nothing serious.
    If you are in the relationship with someone already,and you can control yourself well and stop from the temptation,then the ONS will really be serious problem for you.
  • Undermoonlight
    I'm for 419~but haven't tried it yet~maybe never~So~just as some wise people say, people don't practice what they preach~~haha~~

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