Discussion » Health & Fitness » how do you get over someone you really care about?

  • OoööOOoööo00OOööoo
    OoööOOoööo00OOööoo wrote:

    hey guys

    how do you get over someone you really care about?

     

  • Yang Scorpio
    Yang Scorpio wrote:

    who leave who, can not live a

  • Peter Baird
    Peter Baird wrote:

     Stay busy. Get out a lot and try and spend as much time as possible in the company of others.

  • Winnie
    Winnie wrote:

    it takes time. it usually takes me 5-10 months to fully get over someone.

    so give yourself a little time

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Someone raised a similar issue in another thread before, I think ...

    I will say the same thing, our mind is a funny thing, the more we want to remember, the more difficult it is, but it is also true if we want to forget ...

    Another funny thing is that, we tend not to forget about the major ups and downs in our life ... so, it is unlikey that you will forget ...

    However, there are two things you can do...

    1. Like Peter said, keep yourself busy, work, study, family, hobbies,chocolate, ice cream, food, food and more food ... as long as you dont have time to think about this person, you wont ...

    2. As I said, we remember the ups and downs, but not about the middle, so if you can lie to (or hypnotise/hypnotize) yourself that this is not a major down, but only a little event, you might indeed forget it ... obviously, this is not simple, and it takes a lot of determination to convince yourself, hence acheiving the result ...

    Good luck

     

  • VODKA
    VODKA wrote:

    保持淡定!!

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Drown your sorrows in alcohol and other illicit substances.

    Or get some exercise. Both have their positives and negatives.

  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:

    try to forget the idea of "i'm gonna get over someone", and do what you want to do in your daily life, then you may get a chance of forget someone, though i still think its not necessary -- as time goes by, all bad things turn to be funny memory in the end~~

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    I wouldn't go for the memory erase thing.

    Just focus on the good times that you had together, and cherish the fact that you were lucky enough to meet someone who gave your life meaning and increased clarity.

    Many people have never experienced that.

    And regardless of how shitty you feel now, you're probably a better person have making through a relationship intact. You probably learned a lot which will help in your next serious relationship.

    Look at the future as a bright, gleaming field stretching out into the horizon, with vast reserves of serendipity. With an open mind, you'll notice chances and opportunity that you may have neglected while moping under a shroud of gloom and depression.

    In the meantime, keep busy and appreciate what you have (your health, cognition, friends & family): not what you lost.

  • Miss Nice
    Miss Nice wrote:

    Find another one to care about~~~~~ lol~~~

  • OoööOOoööo00OOööoo

    i like the 保持淡定 one.but i need to find my 淡定 back first..

    alcohol is not gonna help at all,i agree with zhaohong,i have tried that way as well..

    thanks for your comments guys,

    here's another question..

    do you think you need the person's help to get over him/her?

    like sit down and talk about what you ve been thinking about?and maybe he/she would correct some wrong thought you made?

    i just think if i keep thinking about the shit will just make things go worse and worse.

     

     

  • Vivian Yu
    Vivian Yu wrote:

    yeah, you can talk about your story with your close friends, it's a good way to abreact your sorrows. at the same time, maybe you could get some good suggestions or positive views from them. But i have to say you'd not better talk about your story again and again. If you really do that, it could make you feel worse and worse. and make you harder to give over what you want.  it reminds me the  "祥林嫂"...

    Sometimes friends can help us really, but sometimes we just need ourselfves to  recover from the breakup. hmm... time is a good medicine really.

  • Ci Jiayin
    Ci Jiayin wrote:

    I think, you don't need get over, remember a thing or a person is nice, well, if that person is nice, the thing is, why you need get over, the more you think about it, the more you can't do it, leave as it, but remember care yourself more when you wanna care that person. It is what it is..

  • Notoro Kawabata

    Ci Jiayin, i think that  she is asking about getting over, not about having good memories that's not the first step, and could became a kind of obsession inside of you, idealize the good moments is not the way to get over it. There's high risk to compare that person (time freezed person in your mind) with new people who try to help (and get hurted by you). I agree with the opinion  of Vivian Yu.

    Time is a river and the most important and that person doesn't deserve you !

  • Tian 王倚天

    become a self absorbed asshole, you'll have no time to care about others when you are so busy caring about yourself, trust me it works.

  • Ci Jiayin
    Ci Jiayin wrote:

    Thanks Notoro...but I have been this kind problem before, and still kind in a hard time, now my friends told me that don't think too much, just try learn how to care more yourself...

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