Discussion » Beijing Life » why are you still be single?

  • Janet Peng
    Janet Peng wrote:

    Well, I will be 27 at the end of this year. I am still single.

    In China, people get married at an early age. Some others who doesn't are considered to be strange, odd, weired, etc..

    I am just curious what is/are the reason(s) that keep u being single after 26.

    Simply doesn't want marriage? Haven't found the right person? Bad experiences? Scared of getting married? Too busy with work?

    What is ur reason?

  • Man TianFei
    Man TianFei wrote:
    I am single too. i would like to have more experience about love and how to togather with some one. hope i can meet MR.right.
  • Kent Løset
    Kent Løset wrote:

    Im 25 and currently focusing in career instead of a relationship. Hopefully this will pay back later and I will be able to work less when starting a family =)

  • Rion Wang
    Rion Wang wrote:

    stranger?! weird?! odd?! 就因为27了没结婚?! ....问题! 30岁左右离婚的是不是很多? u hit the first crisis in ur marriage about 7 or 8 years in to the marriage right?

  • Andreas Niemann

    i am single since more than 7 years after i divorced and sometimes i really wonder why. Maybe i am to old? to ugly? didn't found the right? - whatever, i miss the time i was staying together with a loved woman. Is there someone who can help me??

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    What Kent said.

    We here at the WeLiveInBeijing team are so socially-inept, if we went out and socialized, our collective heads would explode. I, personally, am a technodork.

    In other words, married to my career.

  • Suko
    Suko wrote:

    Dont worry, buddy. I'm 2 yrs older than you and I'm still single.

    Still wondering what is and how goes marriage and dont wanna get into that too soon...

    Enjoy being single~  (before you get trapped in a relationship, hah)

  • Sally
    Sally wrote:

    man, why rush? 27 still young

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    I was married in July 2003, and I was 37 ... anyone got any suggestion for our anniversary dinner by the way? Around 150 to 200 per person would be ok ... thanks in advance!

    27? That was around 1993/1994? I just quited my job in HK, and migrated to Sydney (or rather, moved back to Sydney from HK) ... I needed to start a new life in Sydney (find a job, find a houose) and then brought my mother and sister over to Australia, so I did not really focus much on any relationship until 1996

  • Winnie
    Winnie wrote:

    you gotta meet the right person to be not single....whether it's a serious one or not...being in a bad bad relationship is the last thing that i want.

     

  • Peter Baird
    Peter Baird wrote:

     I was in a 13 and a half year relationship that ended last year. At the time, I really paniced at being alone for pretty much the first time in my adult life.

     Since then, my mind has changed completely. I have no trouble meeting people, including memembers of the opposite sex. I find it very easy to talk to people. As such, I never really feel lonely. In fact, I've come to value my personal space a great deal. If I want to be in the company of others, I will go out and I know I'll meet someone. If not, I am glad I have my own private space.

     I know a lot of single people out there want a gf/bf, but in my experiences, it seems like a lot of people just want SOMEBODY...ANYBODY...so they don't feel lonely anymore. I'm not like that.  I'm not lonely, so if we are to have relationship you must be the right person for me, which I have yet to find.

     Some have told this is being too picky, but I think that when entering into a relationship one SHOULD be picky. Lack of standards is probably the leading cause of break ups.

     

     

     

  • Janet Peng
    Janet Peng wrote:

    Thank u for sharing ur experience and feelings.

    Actually,  just like Peter and Sheryl, I got out of a long term relationship four months ago. At the beginning, I paniced for being alone, even had an idea of marrying anybody who want to marry me.

    But after a short time, I found that life could be so different when u r single. U have more time to meet with friends, to make new friends, to make travel plans, to focus on career development, to learn new things, etc. U feel like that life just unfolded in front of u again. U feel like being 20 again. Dreams u've lost before suddenly rushed back and u realized that u still have tons of things haven't tried/done yet.

    Anyway, it is good to be single again. But i have to admit that I am a person who afraid of being longly.  I've tried to make myself busy everyday so that I wont think too much about relationship things. It works and I feel wonderful now. So let's celebrate our single lives and keep being happy with it.

  • Man TianFei
    Man TianFei wrote:
    can we have a relationship that we can feel love's sweet and close in Mentally ,but in physically have each other's life? how to balance?how to control in a degree,what shall we do? being crazy.......
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    What you had described, is perhaps a "platonic relationship", and I think we had touched on that subject in another thread, though I dont remember the name of the thread ... it is possible, but it requires self control, or just a great physical distance

    When my ex left me in 2000, I had a lot of trouble adjusting ... as for the discussion of lonely Vs with someone, it is a matter of personality and experience ... and I say, to each his (or her) own.

    We must accept that not everyone will find a soul mate ... some of them are destined to be a loner, and some will find a partner, and some had to go through a few partners ...

     

  • Man TianFei
    Man TianFei wrote:
    英文不好,表达个复杂点的事情,都说不清楚,真想拿块豆腐撞死算了,败下阵来,撤退。
  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    I came from a big family, and I am talking about "BIG": my mother has 8 brothers and 5 sisters! Though I dont know the stories of all my uncles and aunties, but a few of them remained single all their lives.

    Being a loner can be a life style, as described above, or as my mother's second and eighth brothers ... some might want to treasure his/her memory of the partner, for example, my mother had been a widow since my father passed away in 1975 ... some might keep searching for the right person, but never find ... or find, but it's too late.

    I used "destined", mainly for the last two categories, so it was not supposed to be "nice", just pointing out what I believe to be "fact".

     

     

  • 爱谁谁
    爱谁谁 wrote:

    the reason is simple

    1:   ended a relationship of 11years.  (MD)

    2:  after that i m not young enough,  hard to meet Mr. right.  most of them are married or have gfs already.

    3: after that its hard to accept one to my heart

  • Peter S 李贝勒
    i had a long relation in the past... people find themselves after the break... it means that they lost themselves during the relation, maybe that s why the relation fucked up... so my conclusion is that in the relation don t lose urself! don t forget everything of u in the name of the couple... keep ur own space... what do u think?
  • 爱谁谁
    爱谁谁 wrote:

    seems people would break up with long relationship!

    and i found in the relationship, the one who paid more attention would be breaken up.

    hows the saying: 谁陷谁就万劫不复

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Saying "万劫不复" is perhaps too strong, but I agree that if a relationship failed, the one who "invested" the most will be hurt bad ...

     

  • Charlotte
    Charlotte wrote:

    sometimes, it simply means you are serious about yourself and you want it to be perfect. For the ones who had been in a serious relationship...well, I guess we're all afraid of rejection and investing our time and emotion again.

  • Bobo
    Bobo wrote:

    i think we all should enjoy ourselves lives , no better single or couple. there is no reason for what kind of life u r living in. every being is reasonable.

  • THIS IS A BIG IMAGE

    I wonder how many people became friends after this conversation

  • Killy
    Killy wrote:

    I am also single,now I am 25th .The reason I have been single is that I have loved a boy since 1997.But we steel be good friends. I can not tell him i love him.now he has his girlfriend ,maybe i will lost him forever.And i will be myself from now until my Mr Right comes to me.

  • Mavis
    Mavis wrote:

    WOW,I'm single,too.I don't want to get married.Just want to live alone.

    ^o^

  • Suko
    Suko wrote:

    Seriously,  I agree with the above saying that "you should not lose yourself even in a relationship".

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    We're working on holding single's events through this website, so stay tuned.

    Here's a question:

    If we did hold these events, would you feel comfortable mingling with each other without much prompting from the organizers, or would you like us to have games/activities and other "fun stuff" to facilitate conversation?

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Repeating Line's words, there are people out there who is just happier without a partner in life ...

    We have all heard people getting married in their 60's, 70's or even 80's ... so real love really has no boundary: age, race (& ethnicity), religion, education, money (or anything material) dont matter anymore

  • Tian 王倚天

    My longest relationship was a month and a half.

    I am single now because my longest relationship was a month and a half...

  • 夏花
    夏花 wrote:

    真的是英文不好。。。。。。

  • 夏花
    夏花 wrote:

    真的是英文不好。。。。。。

  • Shengy
    Shengy wrote:

    lol....somebody has partner but they are still single in someway..

    single doesnt means single except you find out " Titanic"

     

  • Winnie
    Winnie wrote:

    I agree totally with what Janet said...

    one question tho: say if you are on dates with this one person both exclusively but not committed...are you still single?

  • Janet Peng
    Janet Peng wrote:

    Winnie:

    I think that is not actually we mean single here. 

    And that also rise another question: what "date" actually mean? If u just regularly seeing a person, like having dinner together, watching movies, chat often, kiss/sex maybe, but not live together, no commitment,  is that means date? Or what is the difference between a DATE and just HANG OUT? Does date means more serious relationship?   

  • Harrykrish
    Harrykrish wrote:

    hi every one ,really nowadays love  is not be true in many countries & all persons because they think love is just for fun& some are true but they can face many terribles ,i am also  single now i can wait for person who can be friendly & truely with me.i am also like that  i can share manythings with them ,but i wil wait for my true partner , if who can know what is real love then they can find true guy

  • Lightdeep1
    Lightdeep1 wrote:

    hello i m a foreigner but i m in china from last 3 years

    i will be graduate soon

    i want to find Miss Right who can live whole life with me

    i want to live in china forever so want to find a kind & honest girl

    i will be a doctor & i will start my own business next year.

    waiting for U............................

  • Janet Peng
    Janet Peng wrote:

    Ha, seems that I posted an interesting thread here.

    But trust me, that is not what I meant at the first place. Just want to know why and how many of u are still single after 26/27.

  • Annia
    Annia wrote:

    i'm agree with you,peter. when i was in copenhagen, one of my firend told me that in danmark most people get married at 28~30 years old, and most them married the people who have a similer age, i think just like what you said, this is more reasonable. i'm 25, this is already not a young age to consider about marrige in china, but since i've stayed in europe a while, i feel not so worried as before now about haven't found a bf for marrige . cause i even not understand enough who i am , what i want , who i wanna become. i wanna discover more myself before i lost myself into a marrige.

  • Mandy Wang
    Mandy Wang wrote:

    dont worry about  your age. that just a number. now you are single ,so you want to get marriage .but when you got marriage. maybe you will wanna to be single. the life is colorful .tyr to discover new things .the partner just a part of life.

    btw .the relationship like money.  when you very need it ,they are hard to get. but when you never care about it ,they will come to you.  我的英文不太好,用中国的话就是:有心栽花花不开,无心插柳柳成荫。顺其自然。

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Try a koala, their might look cuddly, but their claws are very strong, and they never do their nails.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Yes, you are definitely correct about this ... but then ... who am I to judge!

  • Ke Fei Ying
    Ke Fei Ying wrote:

    hi if you wanna know the reason why just send me an e-mail on jimmuk7@yahoo.com and ill tell you. thanks for you great topic

  • Aurélien
    Aurélien wrote:

    I lol'd. Srsly.

  • Man TianFei
    Man TianFei wrote:
    when i was tired or ill, i hated be single so much. in usually is ok. i like.
  • Janet Peng
    Janet Peng wrote:

    Hey, guys!!!

    This is not a place to put ur Single Advertisement.

    So stop putting ur personal info here. That looks weired.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Janet, did you mean "weird"? Since you created the thread, you have the right to "delete" any post you dont like ...

  • 张颖
    张颖 wrote:

    My experience is that I still wait a person who is Mr. Right to perfect my 2nd marriage to the end!

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