Discussion » Health & Fitness » Are you a swinger ?

  • Jannette.B
    Jannette.B wrote:

    Would you like to try Swinger's group? how far can you go ...for discovering yourself?

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Why don't you kick off the conversation, Christian? How far would YOU go to discover yourself through group sex? Do tell.

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Oh, I should mention when I was in Seoul last week, a club started a huge media frenzy when it was revealed to be a swinger's joint where couples did all sorts of crazy stuff.

    Authorities were scrambling to determine if it was legal or not while folks registered online by the hundreds to join.

    People love that shit.

  • Randy Zhang
    Randy Zhang wrote:

    hi,sounds interesting

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    I think that most people are intrigued and turned on by the concept of swinging (see the Burning Man Festival, specialized sex cruises, a slew of clubs in North America & Europe, everyday on an American college campus) but when emotions and intimacy get involved, it becomes a delicate issue.

    You're dead on, Christian, about jealously. Personally, I could never accept my lover (read: lover, not someone with whom no emotion was shared) knockin' the boats with another person. Some people get off on it, but I really can't imagine how. That is, unless they're geriatrics who've been together for so damn long, they need to spice up the relationship - in an honest and straightforward fashion - before one or the other drifts into secret infidelity, making swinging the glue holding together a relationship.

    When I was an undergrad in the States, I did some qualitative research and reporting on various aspects of the adult entertainment industry (read: on site research) and found that swinger's clubs in the States are highly-regulated (age of consent forms, HIV testing, no single men allowed, etc.) and exceedingly professional.

    I'm sure it exists here in China, just like anywhere else in the world - just at private homes and functions. People are people.

    Unless they're eunuchs.

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    From what I know about old-timey China (as well as just about everywhere else in the world) women weren't really treated as equals in a relationship (see: footbinding for a unique example for China) so I agree, I don't think that would constitute "swinging" per say. More like "me man, you delicate ornament."

    Lover in the sense of, emotionally and physically-intimate monogamous relationship, not detached booty call or, dare I say, "fuck buddy."

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Hmm. Sheryl, I think the stereotype of men being insatiable seed-sowing sexophiles has a lot of do with a myriad of dynamics, most powerfully, I think, the socially-constructed and archaic pressure to be "macho."

    One of my favorite scenes from any movie is from the Wedding Singer, when Adam Sandler's fast-car driving, mullet-donning, skirt-chasing Romeo of a best bud looks deeply into Sandler's eyes and says "I just want to be told that everything is going to be ok."

    Then he gets a hug from an old bum.

    Point being, society continually urges guys (and girls) to live up to a certain standard. Take any one of the A-type guys you hang out with, and if you stripped away the layers, you'd probably find that they're just trying to live up to that artifical construct of gender dynamics.

    Give them a hug and say "Everything's gonna be okay." Ha.

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Doom
    Haha. No hug for you! But interesting insights.

    Sheryl
    We could crack open Pandora's Box and talk endlessly about gender relations and masculine psychology, but studies have shown that the media, societal attitudes and cultural norms all contribute to what is referred to as "masculine stress," or the underlying mechanisms that cause men to strongly stress about an emphasis on fitness, not appearing as too effeminate or emotional and the need to feel adequete at sex or work. (Among a myriad of additional factors.)

    Point is, big difference between action and thoughts. I know lots of "good looking dickheads" who treat women like sperm depositories and hit the road the next day, but they also seem like very conflicted and insecure people.

    And regarding "fuck buddies," that's a cross-gender thing: Who doesn't like that?

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Good points: gender roles and perceptions are certainly changing. But overall, I think, the majority of men feel the pressure to live up to that standard.

    I completely agree with your opinion towards those dudes who after you as a "fuck buddy." I wouldn't get close to them, either.

    And for all my jaded cynicism, in my grumpy old age, I've grown to be a "relationship guy" as opposed to gigolo. Maybe I'm in the minority. But hey, that's just me.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Too much to read ...

    I just want to refer to Sheryl's statement "I still don't think mentally Chinese girls are prepared for casual sex, let along group sex or swinging."

    I have met a Chinese girl recently, and she told me that she always packed a few condoms in her backpack in case she needs one. I did not go through her bags to prove this, and I know the sampling is only very small, but I just want to say that a population of Chinese girls welcome the idea of casual sex ... otherwise, teenage pregnancy would not have happened, right?

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    I remember seeing that in some movie ... was it Austin Powers?

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