Discussion » Health & Fitness » how many times you should date each other before s

  • Pomatree
    Pomatree wrote:

     

    I've asked some girl friends about this, normally they think after the 3rd date it's fine, or if you looking for a serious relationship, you should hold the guy waiting for a bit longer.

     

    but guys seem to assuming it's a sleeping together singal when the girls agree to come over for lunch or dinner at home.and expecting sex from the right beginning?

    just wondering

  • Da Fan
    Da Fan wrote:

    I don't think there are "signals", I prefer everything just goes smoothly and natually.

  • Ramz
    Ramz wrote:

    whenever it feels right.  simple.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahaha ...

    It is the same as asking "how long should one date before getting married" ... when I told people that I have got married after knowing my wife for about one year and a bit, a few people expressed that it might have been too little time to know someone ...

    So, the answer is ... there is no fixed answer

     

  • Suko
    Suko wrote:

    Well, it really depends. For some, it would be very quick...and in some cases, maybe caution would be better to keep you safe from unwanted situation....

  • Peter S 李贝勒
    these days with the shorts, skirts and mini skirts, it should be faster than in winter with the big coat... ahah
  • Winnie
    Winnie wrote:

    agree with Ramz...but definitely not on the first date!

  • Jason
    Jason wrote:

    it's so complicated....second time should be right....

  • Safin
    Safin wrote:

    if you want a serious relationship, one month intercourse before getting in sex is essential, i think.

    if just for fun, first time is acceptable and respecetable

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    "first time is acceptable and respectable", it might be "acceptable" to the guys, but it is really not "respectable" to the girls ... I feel so old, suddenly ... this generation really has no idea what is "respect", do they?

    And what is this "one month intercourse before getting in sex is essential" ... so you have intercourse, but not sex? I am really interested in how you can do that

     

  • Pomatree
    Pomatree wrote:

    I dont know the percentage of how many people are just looking for fun, how many survive with the serious attitude towards relationship.

     

    the life leaves us no choice.

     

    people who show up in Propaganda at 5 in the morning, at least 70% of them are here for fun, for people in a relationship who still dare to put ads on "Men seeking Women" column, people who are scared of commitments.

     

    a friend once said "you always find yourself meeting more people who are just looking for fun, when you are one of them", maybe I agree with her.

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Pomatree
    What Ramz said. Placing a quantitative number on intimacy is ridiculous.

    Peter
    You took the words right out of my mouth, Peter. The moderators of this site have a collective age of 25, and we continually find ourselves issuing wrist slips to someone old enough to be our father.

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    I meant "average age of 25," but you probably could figure that out.

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    For sure. I'll have to take a trip to the good ol' Stone Age later this week. Dumplings in an iron skillet.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Hahaha ... respect? If you actually run a survey among the local Chinese in their twenties, you will be surprised what you learn.

    No, I am afraid I do not get enough respect to understand this word properly, so maybe one of you can explain it to me what is "respect".

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    叮噹
    from educational-psychologist.org:

    A child that wants attention will get it by some means. This is usually done in a positive way. They do a drawing or perform a play but by offering an adult the best of what they have to offer they seek and hopefully get some attention.

    In general children who are well adjusted tend to need attention on a little and not very often basis. As long as attention is given when needed, which is usually the case, things run smoothly.

    However, some children seem to have an insatiable desire for attention. They get positive attention galore yet they want more. They misbehave and quickly realise that certain behaviors can't be ignored by adults and engage in them.

    The class teacher will tell you they spend vast quantities of their time with the child yet it is never enough. The child if observed in class will be engaging in a whole host of activities all of which appear geared toward getting attention.

    It would be nothing noteworthy for children like this to have the teacher intervene with them every 2-3 minutes.

    Attention Seeking Behavior

    That's you. Just substitute the word "child" with "叮噹" and "teacher" with "moderator" or "other users."

    Stop making an ass of yourself.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    .....

    Well said ...

  • Pomatree
    Pomatree wrote:

    pete, and all of the names in blue, you guys are probably right, the question itself isnt much meaningful, I guess I just figured out maybe there's a clock in girls head says"hey dont you think it's a bit soon for him to be doing this, you've only met him 2 hours ago", and guys' actions follow their hearts or something else without a doubt.

    apparently under the situations 2 people are both looking for fun, the clock should shut up automaticlly. what matters would be how soon can i get done with this.

     

  • Pomatree
    Pomatree wrote:

    look forwards to 叮噹's reply again, evil :-)

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Good question (or questions), Peter ...

    As a person with the upbringing of the old Chinese values, I was shocked to notice the behaviour of a lot of (supposedly) well-educated "younger" people (mostly in twenties and thirties) ... towards older generation on public transport, or just people-in-need in general (excuse me for not being very PC here, but I do mean pregnant ladies, people with disability and children) ... or smoking in non smoking areas, in front of a huge sign saying "no smoking", and then when someone complained, they just kept on puffing and the waiters in Regent would ask the non smokers to move to the smoking zone ... oh yeah, we cannot forget the "spitting", even worse if it is on the carpet in the office ... or was it just my bad luck?

    And the fact that these behaviours are age-independent, and seems to be such a norm that, I have started questioning whether the old Chinese values still makes any sense in current China ... hence, I have doubt about the meaning of "respect" ... hence my contradicting statements.

    I had a complicated childhood, starting with the old Chinese values in the family, then British (or western) education in primary (with strong influence from the Catholic church), then moving onto the Australian laid-back style in senior years and university ... the truth is that my generation (back then anyway) did not agree with sex on first date, this was especially true among Chinese, and more so among Catholics, hence the "imprint" ... and to answer your question, therefore, "yes"!

    I can certainly see what you meant about the ladies of the younger generation, however, there is still a minority of women in the world who believes in keeping their virginity for their future husbands ... and to them, again it will be a "yes" to your question. So, "respect" is not really how one sees you, but how you see yourself, do you agree?

    Hope that clarifies to you how this old man thinks ...

    ** Pete, the [delete] key on the key board does not seem to work some time, by the way ... could someone please have a look?

     

  • Man TianFei
    Man TianFei wrote:
    fellow the feeling
  • Pomatree
    Pomatree wrote:

    叮噹 the delete key works for me, but i dont want to delete your comeplicated childhood story, in case any girl's wondering.

  • Kent Løset
    Kent Løset wrote:

    Everyone likes sex, so thats something everyone has in common. But if you´re looking for a serious relationship, you might want to figure out if there is anything else you have in common first =)

  • Joakim Lund Rangel

    Go for it or whatever, do what please you most.

    Maybe it would be fun if someone started a thread asking how old people was the first time they had sex. That might give us some answers on what the differences there is on this subject between the nationalities.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    and religion, and upbringing ... human being is so complicated, it is not funny ...

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Could we start a new thread as Jo suggested? This is getting too slow to load and read

  • Angela
    Angela wrote:

    Just because we love to wear sex dresses, mini skirts, it doesn't mean we don't want to have serious relationship!

  • Tian 王倚天

    yes but you see where it can become very confusing.

     

    If I was walking down the street wearing police uniform..and somebody gets shot, and screams at me to do something..and I just "Hey..look..I may be dressed like a chop..but I'm not..so I''m sorry.

    So if you ladies wear slutty outfits..thats cool, just dont be looking at us awkward when us guys when we go reach for your touche.

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Tian
    I LOLed. But that's the main argument set forth by Muslim clerics for the concepts of "purdah" and "hijab," the practices of preventing women to be seen by men, utilized via curtains, clothing regulations (veils, burqas and the jijbab) and the segregation of the sexes.

  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)

    ...

    Referring to Tian's and Angela's comments, the word "expectation" propped up in my big head ... and the next one following is "stereotype"

    Even if you are not dressed as a police ("Village People"?), you can just do as your logic dictates, whether to stay away, or to risk your life to help out etc ... however, if you are presumed to be a police because of the clothes you are wearing then you are expected to behave in certain ways in those situations.

    About Angela's comment ... similar argument, if a girl wears certain clothes, then she cannot expect the men not to think in certain ways, though the actual actions might indicate otherwise ...

    If we drop the "gender" discussion for a second ... in the old days, most people who owned and drove a Merc, kind of expects people to stare and be envious ... or if you wear a Rolex or Omega on your wrist, or wear Giorgio Armani, or carry a Gucci bag etc ... so, if we now bring back "gender" into the discussion and excuse me for being sexist for one second, most girls who wear sexy clothes, are mostly for styles and for attracting attentions, not just for comfort ...

  • Tian 王倚天

    Pete

    Islamic extremists force the burka upon women because they believe women are their objects, they own them. They show this by beating them and exercising honour killings. This is not right, but at least they keep it real.

    So if girls in the West, or East decide to dress like hoes, hey, we gotta keep it real fo shizzle.

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Tian
    For sure. Just pointed that out, for I could imagine a Muslim gentleman reading your statement and saying, "You see! This is why blah blah blah..."

  • Tian 王倚天

    thank goodness this isn't WeliveinIraq

  • Tian 王倚天

    whoawhoawhoa...I never said I had any problems with it! Please, don't take my words out of context...I'm justing counting sheep here.

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Sheryl
    Damn straight. I used to work as a bouncer and DJ at a club, and we would regularly beat the snot out of Mr. Touchy Hands.

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    It's true. Quantitative research for my Gender Studies course.

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    oops... meant Qualitative.

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    During the weekends, anywhere between 3-5 goofballs would start trouble. They'd calm down once they'd get thrown against the wall by the head bouncer, a methed-up (is that a word?), Camero-driving hillbilly greaser.

    I'd only get involved if it was absolutely necessary, which was about 60% of the time.

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    No way. Since Mr. Meth had probably been knocking heads together since he was a wee lad in the children's prison, I couldn't compete.

    Fighting doesn't solve anything. Best to walk down the path of MLK and Gandhi.

  • Webslave
    Webslave wrote:

    it takes a lot of witful, honest and good communication on many longrun dates before it comes to the breaking moment of the first kiss and still a long way to go for more intimacy than holding hands.

  • Man TianFei
    Man TianFei wrote:
    Pete DeMola。哈哈,你 的身份很复杂啊!

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