Discussion » Nonsense » Did you really talk with those people who added yo

  • Jully
    Jully wrote:

    Even though we can easily become friends with a click for submission here.

    But how many people did you really talk with?

  • DLoya
    DLoya wrote:

    I haven't added anyone as a friend yet. I just talk to people in private message. I don't know anyone on here.

  • Joakim Lund Rangel

    I usually only accept and add people i have met in real life, which is the point which too many people don`t get in here.

    Any ideas of how we can make some of this people understand that its not about adding as many people as possible?

  • DLoya
    DLoya wrote:

    Well I think that the people who are just adding friends without even talking to them or knowing them are just creepy. Kind of like myspace or facebook.

  • Peter Baird
    Peter Baird wrote:

    About half my friends I already knew before I added them. Anyone else who adds me I will accept if their profile indicates we have something in common-i.e we belong to the same groups or they actually send a message that says something about themself. Having said that, there are about 20 people who've added me and never said a word. May be time to clean house....

  • Jully
    Jully wrote:

    get the points! that`s why I usually ignore guy`s application who already  have tons of so-call friends in his list.  cuz I dont wanna be one of goods in his shopping trolley.

    And it`s necessary to clean up your trolley after hanging out here for a while....ha~~~

  • 梅子
    梅子 wrote:

    just say "hi" to 2 or 3 people who added me .but frankly. since i haven't attended any parties or events here. i dont think i will really know anyone only through a name list.. no topics at all~

  • Denise CHEN
    Denise CHEN wrote:

    time to post a new topic here"please say hi first before adding me"

  • Denise CHEN
    Denise CHEN wrote:

    time to post a new topic here"please say hi first before adding me"

  • MoMo
    MoMo wrote:

    everyone i added~

    adding them because they kinda have sth i like~~



  • Joakim Lund Rangel

    well, why not just only add people that you have met in real life? its not  necassery to add people if you want to talk to them.

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    I think there are a few cultural differences:

    I've found that many of our Chinese users tend to "Friend" people and wait for a friendship to create itself while sitting back and doing absolutely nothing; albeit possessing a profile that contains absolutely zero information about themselves, so little that even the person "Friended" couldn't start a conversation even if they tried.

    People use social networking sites for different reasons.

    Some add people at random, I think, because they're not sure how SN sites work. Others want to get to know foreigners, but perhaps are too shy to engage in conversations. Some use them to communicate with their pre-established friends in "real life," have no interest in making new friends.

    And we're all familiar (unfortunately) with the guys who use the sight primarily as a vehicle in which to try to get laid.

    We're continually working on features which will allow you to further build up your profile, privacy settings and make it easier to facilitate conversation.

    Until then, I'd recommend posting a few lines of info about yourself in your profile, as well as issuing warnings ("Don't add me without saying hello first") to help disuade unwanted attention.

  • Janet Peng
    Janet Peng wrote:

    Totally agree with all the above opinions!

  • Peter Baird
    Peter Baird wrote:

    I agree with Pete 100 per cent!!! It is absolutely tragic how many profiles contain absolutely zero information about the person. Why would I want to accept a friend request from someone who says nothing to me and I know absolutely nothing about? It is pretty easy to write a few lines saying what you do, where you're from and what your interests and favourite activities are.

     Example. A month ago someone added me, so I checked her profile and it said nothing about her. So I sent her a short message-"Nice to meet you ands welcome to the site. What do you do here in Beijing?" The reply was, "I live and work in Beijing." What does that tell me? Nothing.

     For our more socially awkward members here are some suggestions for making friends. First of all, talk to the person. What to talk about? Family is always a good subject, because it gives you an idea of what kind of background they're coming from. Friends-do they have many friends in Beijing? Where are they from? Education and work-what do they do? Most people love to talk about themselves, so a few some questions about what they do usually get a conversation started. Most importantly, what do they like to do in their free time? What are their interests? If a person doesn't have the same interests as you, then why the hell would they want to be your friend?

    BTW I just taught a class on this all last week, so anyone who reads this and uses it can expect my bill in the mail. :-).



  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Thanks for everyone's insight. We're working on the following settings:

    • flag inappropriate messages and report problematic users
    • verification of profile photos to limit anonymous avatars
    • mandatory messages when sending Friend requests
    • privacy settings for guestbook access

    And more, too. Thanks for your patience.

  • Victor
    Victor wrote:

    I can take with you, then.

  • Pete DeMola
    Pete DeMola wrote:

    Thanks your suggestions, Peter (Walters). As I said, we're working on a slew of additional settings. As always, we appreciate your intrepid insight.

  • Ole-Marius
    Ole-Marius wrote:

    I think most people understand these basic things about a community.

    Adding people
    This is as for today a problem. People add others as friends as the first thing they do when they enter the profile. We're discussing methods of avoiding this, but it's hard as long as people are determit to do so.

    Privacy on guestbook
    If you don't want anyone to write in your guestbook, you probably don't want them to see your profile at all. Blocking the user would do it. Guestbook is open and not going to get any privacy settings for now.

    One of the main problems right now is that there's not much to doon the site, and we're working on that. We're soon launching a video module, and upgrading groups, frontpage and event's is up next. We're also working with the admin now.

    Thanks for all the feedback :-)

  • Kent Løset
    Kent Løset wrote:

    How about splitting the contact list into two parts: Friends & Favorites.

    The Friends List would be where you add people you met in real life, people you´ve chatted with a lot, etc. If I add Pete DeMola on my friends list, I will automatically be added to his.

    The Favorite List would be where you add people you don´t yet know to a private list visible only to yourself, not even friends. So if I add Pete DeMola as a favorite, I will not be added to his favorite list unless he´s adding me as a favorite later. Also, he will not receive any notification about me adding him. So this would work kinda like a bookmark feature for members :-)

    This way, when you add someone - you will have two options:

    - Add as Favorite
    - Add as Friend

    What do you think?

  • Jully
    Jully wrote:

    hei,guys~ Since when the topic about sociability was turned to how to improve the function of this website~~O(∩_∩)O

    But I`m still so glad to see your pure-hearted opinions here~~as always I believe that there must be some people here are honest & direct,who truely like this website and make it as a part of his/her internet life. 

    Plus,I add a little bit idea about the profile page,since I`ve been here for not a short term~

    How can we check all friends online or not through friends list?cuz for now,only part of them can be highlighted on the column. 

  • Tiantian
    Tiantian wrote:

    i haven't talked to anyone yet. i'm new here, and don't know anyone .

  • Lynn
    Lynn wrote:




  • 叮噹叔叔 (令狐叮噹)


    I must have posted on more than 10 forums tonight, damn, it must be the fish!

    I was just commenting about this in a similar (Chinese) thread! To answer the question: "yes I do, but if the other person does not response, I will remove them"

    WIth the history of QQ, Chinese netizens (between 18 and 35) have a habit of looking at one of two photos (sexy or otherwise), or read the self-introduction ... and if he/she likes what is on display, the "friend request" will go out like hotcakes!

    As well, they seem to think that, the more "friends" appearing in your list, the more popular you might be ... in fact, from what I can see over the last few months, this is not a Chinese thing per say, it seems to be with a lot of western folks, especially the ladies ... I think of it as a popularity contest

    This being (mainly) a western language dominated site, most Chinese on this site are shy of using English, but again, if one can have a few western friends among the friend list, then one becomes a higher class citizen, especially with some of the Chinese girls fancy a thing with the western guys ... please refer to the grudges in my space if anyone has question!

    I do - they all seem pretty nice. Hello if you're on my friends list!
  • Ramz
    Ramz wrote:

    I want everyone one of you to add me so that I can lure you into a false sense of security online, then get you drunk and take advantage of you -  only to never speak to you again. 

    That goes double to you Ash, you handsome devil.

  • Aurélien
    Aurélien wrote:

    Personally, I just add sometimes randomly, people who seems friendly on the forums etc.. I only add a few people, and only men. Not gay, but no one add me lol, it's always girls so... ;D

    I just try to make friends before I'll live in BJ, because I really don't want to stay alone in this big city :) Plus,I LOVE to make new friends, and discover new cultures...


    Not sure about the Friend/Favourite. I mean, why is it a problem ? people are free to add, and they are free to reject the friends request.

    The main problem would be fake people who just add randomly tons of girls. And the people who just spam the same message : "HELLO I M PLZD TO MEET U LOL PLZ ADD MY MSN KTHX KISS" in the guestbook. I guess you've all already seen that, right ? =]

  • Martin
    Martin wrote:

    Frankly not that much but i do like be real friends in real life with someone here.

    yep and the cyber freak sucks!

  • NN
    NN wrote:

    rarely adding people,1st my point is just to kill the time when I get bored,so I come here and discover;2nd as I know,many people will not add me,as Im out of BJ,so people will think it is not making sense to make friends like this,who know will you really meet one day?


    adding people,just for someone will really attract me,but seems Im not that lucky people.hahaha

  • Jem Lim
    Jem Lim wrote:

    i always give strangers a chance.. if they add me, i add them back. i have found several interesting people whom i made friends with through social networking sites like WLIB among others.

    but as fast as i add random people on my list, whenever they start asking stupid stuffs like : "can we chat? do you have a webcam? what's your MSN? do you wanna go out?" : i delete them in a speed o' light!

    i think the screening part is entirely up to the user though adding a blocking feature might also be helpful.

    if one's being an abusive poster/stalker, it's pure common sense to ignore them esp. if they have nothing in their minds but to score on hotties online.

  • 微笑的Min
    微笑的Min wrote:

    i talked to most of them...they are really nice persons...and i plan to meet 1 friend in real next month,,i guess we could be good friends...let's be friends^_^

  • Olive Zhu
    Olive Zhu wrote:

    There are 51 "friends" in my list. 2 of them i added,49 they added me.4 of 51 are on my MSN list, but just kept talking with 2 of them.Met one guy which i added him as my friend,we had good time by talking,drinking while we were playing pool.One bad experince i talked with a guy on the phone, but obviously he is weird.

    All in all i mean,this is a social network,i would like to meet new friends here, but i choose seriously and carefully.It all depends on me.I am not annoyed by adding me as a friend, because i believe time will show who really want to be your real friend.

  • Rena Ekrem
    Rena Ekrem wrote:

    i accept anyone who added me, but seldom talk with them, just some times say hi via msgs.btw.i really want to find someone teach me indonesian,if anyone can help me plz send me msg ^_^

  • Violet.L
    Violet.L wrote:

    I would accept anyone who added me first, of course,  we'd better have something to talk with.

  • Joy
    Joy wrote:

    I accept anyone who added me and talk to anyone who talked to me. I am not good at finding topic so i will not talk to them first.

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